Words

Proverbs 15
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The sermon explains that our words can act like a weapon, capable of causing deep and lasting wounds. Jesus also points this out in the Sermon on the Mount, revealing that harmful speech is a violation of the commandment “do not murder.” Conversely, wise and kind words can bring healing, as exemplified in various Proverbs.

Pastor Colin shares stories and personal anecdotes to illustrate the profound impact our words can have. He teaches that words not only influence others but also affect our own souls, echoing the wisdom of Solomon in Proverbs 18:21. Words will be weighed by God on the Day of Judgement, making it imperative to speak wisely and graciously.

The second part of the sermon addresses what our words should reflect. Pastor Colin urges the congregation to pray for help in speaking with restraint, humility, wisdom, and grace. He refers to several Proverbs that highlight the importance of thoughtful, gentle, and gracious speech, and how this contrasts with the impulsive and harmful words of the wicked.

The practical advice includes speaking less and listening more, allowing time to ponder one’s response, and ensuring that one’s words are fitly spoken. Pastor Colin points out that restraint and humility in speech often bring about better outcomes.

1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:05,200 Well, good morning everyone, please open your Bible at Proverbs and chapter 15 that has been 2 00:00:05,200 –> 00:00:12,320 read to us. We’re continuing our series, The Way of Wisdom. And of course Christ is our wisdom, 3 00:00:12,320 –> 00:00:20,559 and so the way of wisdom is by definition always the way of Christ. So this series 4 00:00:20,559 –> 00:00:25,200 is really about what it looks like to be a disciple, or a follower of Jesus, 5 00:00:25,200 –> 00:00:31,360 to follow the way of wisdom is to follow the way of Christ. And we’ve looked at what this 6 00:00:31,360 –> 00:00:37,680 way is like, particularly in regards to friends and in regards to family, and today we’re going 7 00:00:37,680 –> 00:00:43,520 to look at the very important subject of what it is like to walk in wisdom, to follow Christ 8 00:00:43,520 –> 00:00:52,000 in regards to our words. The book of Proverbs has more to say about our words, about the tongue, 9 00:00:52,000 –> 00:00:59,279 about our speech, than any other subject. And so there is much before us today. The outline 10 00:00:59,279 –> 00:01:04,800 for the message is very simple. It’s going to be the why, the what, and the how. Why your words 11 00:01:04,800 –> 00:01:14,480 matter. What our words should reflect. And how our words can be blessed. So let’s begin here then. 12 00:01:14,480 –> 00:01:26,559 Why do our words matter? And your words matter because of the effect that they have on others. 13 00:01:27,680 –> 00:01:35,360 Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. 14 00:01:35,760 –> 00:01:44,239 In other words what we say, the tongue, will be the means by which we bring the greatest help or 15 00:01:44,239 –> 00:01:52,480 the greatest harm to other people. Life or death is in the power of the tongue. Notice first the 16 00:01:52,480 –> 00:02:00,720 references to death in the power of the tongue. In other words your tongue is like a weapon 17 00:02:01,599 –> 00:02:10,399 that can wound another person deeply. Now if you carried around a weapon that you knew 18 00:02:10,960 –> 00:02:17,839 could wound another person deeply, you would carry that weapon with great caution and with 19 00:02:17,839 –> 00:02:24,720 great care. Well remember you do carry such a weapon with you every day and your tongue 20 00:02:24,720 –> 00:02:32,399 is a weapon that can bring deadly wounds. In fact Proverbs chapter 12 in verse 18 says 21 00:02:32,399 –> 00:02:39,839 rash words are like sword thrusts. So again notice the analogy of the weapon that can kill. 22 00:02:40,639 –> 00:02:45,600 Rash words. We talk about cutting remarks and perhaps this is where it comes from that the 23 00:02:45,600 –> 00:02:51,360 book of Proverbs says the word that’s just blurted out it’s like the thrust of a sword 24 00:02:51,440 –> 00:02:55,679 and it can bring deep wounds. Some of you know about this in your life someone 25 00:02:55,679 –> 00:02:59,759 who has said something that is deeply wounded you and it stays with you. 26 00:03:01,440 –> 00:03:10,399 You’ll never amount to anything something of this sort. Death is in the power of the tongue 27 00:03:10,399 –> 00:03:16,720 and our Lord Jesus speaks about this with great clarity in the Sermon on the Mount. 28 00:03:16,720 –> 00:03:23,279 You remember when our Lord Jesus quoted the sixth commandment which is do not murder 29 00:03:24,639 –> 00:03:28,399 and perhaps of all the commandments that’s the one that makes us think well at least I’m not 30 00:03:28,399 –> 00:03:36,160 close to that but Jesus made very clear that the sixth commandment you shall not murder includes 31 00:03:36,800 –> 00:03:43,119 death by words. He said you have heard that it was said of old you shall not murder 32 00:03:43,119 –> 00:03:52,960 and whoever murders will be liable to judgment but I say to you that whoever is angry with 33 00:03:52,960 –> 00:04:03,360 his brother will be liable to judgment and whoever says you fool the original word that Jesus spoke 34 00:04:03,360 –> 00:04:12,399 was raka it was a term of belittling of insult demeaning contempt and abuse it meant you’re 35 00:04:12,399 –> 00:04:23,200 useless whoever speaks to another person like that Jesus says we’ll be in danger of the fires of hell 36 00:04:25,119 –> 00:04:28,000 now that would certainly have got the attention of the crowd 37 00:04:28,880 –> 00:04:32,720 the vast majority of the crowd listening to Jesus on the slopes and the sermon on 38 00:04:32,720 –> 00:04:37,279 the mount oh well at least when it comes to the murder commandment we’re no place close to that 39 00:04:37,279 –> 00:04:41,119 and when Jesus explains what it really means that it includes death by words 40 00:04:43,200 –> 00:04:47,279 well we’re all recognizing that it comes much closer to home than we may have thought 41 00:04:48,880 –> 00:04:55,839 abusive speech is an offense for which a person is accountable to God 42 00:04:57,440 –> 00:05:04,640 it is a violation of the sixth commandment that would put a person Jesus says in danger of the 43 00:05:04,640 –> 00:05:18,239 very fires of hell death is in the power of the tongue and then Proverbs tells us that life 44 00:05:19,279 –> 00:05:27,279 is also in the power of the tongue and again Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 18 says that well 45 00:05:27,279 –> 00:05:33,679 rash words are like sword thrusts the tongue of the wise brings healing 46 00:05:35,040 –> 00:05:38,640 there is the extraordinary thing about our words about the tongue that it can 47 00:05:38,640 –> 00:05:46,480 not only do great harm it can also do great good larry crab a name as some of you may 48 00:05:46,480 –> 00:05:51,519 know has written a number of books related to counseling and he has a very helpful book 49 00:05:51,519 –> 00:05:57,200 on the subject of encouragement and he tells in that book of how as a young 50 00:05:58,079 –> 00:06:07,279 he developed what he calls a thoroughly annoying and humiliating problem of stuttering he says 51 00:06:07,279 –> 00:06:15,119 that he had particular difficulties with the letters l and p and since his name was larry 52 00:06:15,119 –> 00:06:22,000 and he went to the Plymouth School in Pennsylvania he had a real problem when he was a teenager 53 00:06:22,720 –> 00:06:29,359 and he describes how in the church that he grew up in on sunday mornings it was their 54 00:06:29,359 –> 00:06:36,320 normal custom to have a time of open prayer when anyone could speak out and lead and participate 55 00:06:37,359 –> 00:06:42,239 and there was a certain pressure that as a person grew into their teens that they should be able to 56 00:06:42,239 –> 00:06:51,040 do this and one sunday morning larry got his courage together and led public prayer for 57 00:06:51,040 –> 00:06:59,040 the very first time as a teenager and i’ll quote you what he says here he says filled less with 58 00:06:59,040 –> 00:07:07,839 worship than with nervousness i found my theology becoming confused to the point of heresy i 59 00:07:07,839 –> 00:07:14,320 remember thanking the father for hanging on the cross and praising christ for triumphantly 60 00:07:14,320 –> 00:07:23,519 bringing the spirit from the grave stuttering throughout i finally thought of the word amen 61 00:07:23,519 –> 00:07:31,440 and said it and sat down i recall staring at the floor too embarrassed to look around 62 00:07:32,239 –> 00:07:39,839 and solemnly vowing never again to pray or speak aloud in front of a group 63 00:07:40,799 –> 00:07:46,640 he then describes how at the end of the service he decided to make a dart for the door and 64 00:07:46,640 –> 00:07:52,480 escape as quickly as he could but he didn’t get to the door fast enough there was an older 65 00:07:52,480 –> 00:08:00,399 christian a man by the name of jim dumbar who caught up with him put his arm around his shoulder 66 00:08:01,519 –> 00:08:08,079 and then cleared his throat ready to speak larry says i thought oh here we go i’m just 67 00:08:08,079 –> 00:08:11,679 gonna have to endure this and then i’ll get out of the car and i’m out of here 68 00:08:13,119 –> 00:08:20,079 what jim dumbar said to him was this larry there’s one thing that i want you to know 69 00:08:21,839 –> 00:08:27,519 whatever you decide to do for jesus i’m with you one thousand percent 70 00:08:28,959 –> 00:08:32,159 and that was all he said and then he walked away 71 00:08:32,400 –> 00:08:33,200 sure 72 00:08:34,320 –> 00:08:39,280 writing years later as a mature adult larry crabs says even as i write these 73 00:08:39,280 –> 00:08:44,960 words my eyes fill with tears those words were life words they had power 74 00:08:46,000 –> 00:08:53,039 they reached deep into my being and my resolve never again to speak in public weakened instantly 75 00:08:55,919 –> 00:08:59,440 your words matter they can wound 76 00:08:59,440 –> 00:09:07,359 or they can heal they can harm or they can help 77 00:09:10,080 –> 00:09:18,239 second our words matter not only because of their effect on other people but also because of the 78 00:09:18,239 –> 00:09:26,559 very profound effect that your words will have on yourself back to proverbs chapter 18 and verse 21 79 00:09:26,559 –> 00:09:32,320 and now the second half of the verse having told us that death and life are in the power 80 00:09:32,320 –> 00:09:38,000 of the tongue solomon tells us that those who love it will eat its fruits 81 00:09:41,119 –> 00:09:48,479 in other words what you say will certainly have an effect for good or for ill in the lives of 82 00:09:48,479 –> 00:09:53,200 other people but in the same way as it has an effect for good and ill in the lives of other 83 00:09:53,200 –> 00:09:58,799 people the words you speak will have an effect of for good or for ill in your own soul as well 84 00:10:01,119 –> 00:10:05,520 what you say comes out of you but in a very profound sense what you say goes 85 00:10:05,520 –> 00:10:12,080 into you as well in fact one of the proverbs proverbs 18 and verse 20 speaks about our words 86 00:10:12,080 –> 00:10:21,919 going down to our own stomach cursing raging oh yes it’ll have an effect on someone else 87 00:10:21,919 –> 00:10:27,039 but it’ll go deep down into your own soul it’ll go down into your own stomach to quote Proverbs 88 00:10:28,400 –> 00:10:30,000 it’ll make your soul sick 89 00:10:31,919 –> 00:10:37,119 you will in a very profound sense eat your own words we use that phrase and what Proverbs is 90 00:10:37,119 –> 00:10:41,599 saying is we always eat our own words they not only go into the ear of another person 91 00:10:41,599 –> 00:10:44,640 they go into the soul of the person who speaks 92 00:10:44,640 –> 00:10:52,960 what will bring help and blessing to others as you speak it will bring help and blessing to 93 00:10:52,960 –> 00:11:02,400 you the person who blesses others is blessed the one who curses others brings that back 94 00:11:02,400 –> 00:11:11,119 upon themselves remember Jesus says with the measure you use and he’s speaking particularly 95 00:11:11,119 –> 00:11:17,359 about our words here in the sermon on the mount with the measure that you use it will be measure 96 00:11:17,359 –> 00:11:27,280 to you so speaking destruction into the lives of others will bring destruction to you and speaking 97 00:11:27,280 –> 00:11:37,760 life into the lives of others will be life giving to you that by the way as we were praying this 98 00:11:37,760 –> 00:11:46,719 morning about being forgiven as we forgive others this is just another reason why it is not only 99 00:11:46,719 –> 00:11:55,359 right to forgive others but why it is wise to forgive others because to hold a grudge 100 00:11:56,799 –> 00:12:02,960 is simply to harm yourself it goes deep down into your own soul down into your stomach 101 00:12:03,840 –> 00:12:10,960 Third we’re looking at why words matter and perhaps this is why there 102 00:12:10,960 –> 00:12:15,039 are more Proverbs on the subject than any other it is so important 103 00:12:16,719 –> 00:12:21,440 because of the degree to which they can help or harm other people the degree to 104 00:12:21,440 –> 00:12:26,239 which they have an effect in your own soul and thirdly and very obviously the effect 105 00:12:26,239 –> 00:12:32,239 that your words have before almighty God listen to these words of Jesus from Matthew in chapter 12 106 00:12:32,239 –> 00:12:41,679 I tell you on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak 107 00:12:44,159 –> 00:12:50,640 that’s the word of Jesus so let’s settle this in our minds friends that God will 108 00:12:50,640 –> 00:12:56,239 hold us accountable not only for what we do but also for what we say 109 00:12:56,400 –> 00:13:02,960 and that means that freedom of speech which is a wonderful blessing 110 00:13:04,880 –> 00:13:14,719 is also an awesome responsibility because our Lord says people will give an account for every 111 00:13:14,880 –> 00:13:28,320 careless word they speak and God knows every word that every one of us ever speaks. 112 00:13:31,599 –> 00:13:38,159 From time to time I have the opportunity of doing an interview on the radio 113 00:13:38,159 –> 00:13:44,400 and the normal format for these things is that the radio station calls and you pick up the phone 114 00:13:44,960 –> 00:13:50,799 and you have a few words with the program host, usually while some music is playing on that 115 00:13:50,799 –> 00:13:56,719 particular station and then the host will say at some point, well we’ve got about 30 seconds to go 116 00:13:56,719 –> 00:14:03,359 and then we’ll be live on the air. Well on one occasion a few years ago that I will never forget, 117 00:14:03,359 –> 00:14:09,520 I picked up the phone and the voice said, hi this is Jim or whatever his name was from such and such 118 00:14:09,520 –> 00:14:14,080 a radio station, how are you? Oh fine I said, you know it’s been a busy weekend, 119 00:14:14,080 –> 00:14:18,559 I’ve been looking forward to speaking with you today and what are we going to talk about today? 120 00:14:18,559 –> 00:14:22,479 And he said what he wanted to speak about and I said, oh yeah that’s fine and 121 00:14:22,479 –> 00:14:26,000 I think what I’d really like to get across is, you know, this and that and 122 00:14:26,640 –> 00:14:35,919 the other and he kept going talking and I began to wonder as two, three, four, five, six minutes 123 00:14:36,159 –> 00:14:40,880 passed, when is this interview actually going to begin? 124 00:14:43,200 –> 00:14:47,280 And then I had an awful growing feeling in the pit of my stomach, 125 00:14:49,919 –> 00:14:58,400 it’s already started. And it started the moment that I picked up the phone and here’s me rambling 126 00:14:58,400 –> 00:15:02,559 on thinking that I’m talking to one person, there are probably thousands of people who are listening 127 00:15:02,640 –> 00:15:11,760 to this. Now here’s something far more serious, every word that you and I ever say is heard by 128 00:15:11,760 –> 00:15:20,880 almighty God. Every word you say in private, every word you write online, 129 00:15:22,320 –> 00:15:29,039 every tweet you ever make, every comment you ever post is known and it is weighed 130 00:15:29,039 –> 00:15:39,059 by Almighty God and God holds us accountable not only for what we do, but also for what we say. 131 00:15:39,059 –> 00:15:50,239 And when you see this you will know how much you need a savior. So, our words matter. Our 132 00:15:50,239 –> 00:15:54,359 words matter because of their effect on others, the effect that they have in our own soul, 133 00:15:54,359 –> 00:15:59,919 and the effect that they have in the presence of God. People will give account for every 134 00:15:59,919 –> 00:16:08,739 careless word they say. Therefore, our words really matter. Now, let’s move on then to the 135 00:16:08,739 –> 00:16:14,840 second thing. That’s the why. Why does it matter? And now let’s look at the what. What should our 136 00:16:14,840 –> 00:16:23,039 words reflect? And as I say, there are many proverbs that are about our words, and they’re 137 00:16:23,359 –> 00:16:28,000 all scattered all through the book. What I’ve tried to do is simply group them together and 138 00:16:28,000 –> 00:16:33,919 to draw out the main themes. And then for my own good, and I hope this will be helpful to you, 139 00:16:33,919 –> 00:16:41,000 just to turn them into prayers. Things that I would ask of God in regards to my speaking, 140 00:16:41,000 –> 00:16:47,239 and encourage you to ask of God in regards to your speaking too. And the first of these is, 141 00:16:47,380 –> 00:16:55,640 Lord helped me to speak with restraint. The book of Proverbs commends again and again the virtue of 142 00:16:55,640 –> 00:17:06,900 speaking with restraint. Chapter 15 and verse 28. The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, 143 00:17:06,900 –> 00:17:15,359 but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Now notice the contrast between the 144 00:17:15,400 –> 00:17:22,859 righteous person and the wicked. Words just pour out of the wicked, blurted out, 145 00:17:22,859 –> 00:17:32,459 the first thing that comes to mind. It’s all instinctive. It’s all visceral. But the righteous 146 00:17:32,459 –> 00:17:41,939 ponder. There’s a thoughtfulness and thereby a restraint in regards to the words of the righteous. 147 00:17:42,260 –> 00:17:49,959 Now of course this is radically countercultural because self expression is a leading idol in our 148 00:17:49,959 –> 00:17:58,780 culture today. And so it’s very common to hear people say, well I must say what I think. I must 149 00:17:58,780 –> 00:18:07,060 say what I feel. And you hear that just sometimes you think, you want to say really? Must you? Must 150 00:18:07,459 –> 00:18:12,219 you? I mean what would happen if you didn’t? What if you just restrained yourself? I mean you 151 00:18:12,219 –> 00:18:18,099 wouldn’t explode or combust. I mean what would be so terrible if you were to exercise some 152 00:18:18,099 –> 00:18:26,540 restraint? Listen to this from Proverbs 29 and verse 11. A fool gives full vent to his spirit, 153 00:18:26,540 –> 00:18:38,500 but a wise man quietly holds it back. It is a very important distinction. It’s the fool who 154 00:18:38,500 –> 00:18:47,459 gives full vent to his spirit, just lays it all out there. But the wise person knows how to 155 00:18:47,459 –> 00:18:55,180 exercise some restraint. Now, this word restraint recurs throughout the book of Proverbs. Let me 156 00:18:55,180 –> 00:19:02,260 give you another couple of examples. At Proverbs chapter 17 in verse 27, whoever restrains his 157 00:19:02,260 –> 00:19:09,099 words has knowledge, he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. I like that, 158 00:19:09,099 –> 00:19:15,900 the cool spirit. Of course what is being said there is that when we get heated our words get 159 00:19:15,900 –> 00:19:23,459 more and more and they become less and less clear and less and less effective. And so the cool 160 00:19:23,819 –> 00:19:30,459 spirits reflects the person of understanding. Or Chapter 10 in verse 19, when words are many, 161 00:19:30,459 –> 00:19:34,219 when they’re multiplied up, heaped up, transgression is not lacking, 162 00:19:34,219 –> 00:19:44,180 but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. So here’s a way to pray about our speaking, 163 00:19:44,180 –> 00:19:53,099 Lord help me to think before I speak. Well that’s one of the distinctive marks of a righteous person 164 00:19:53,560 –> 00:20:04,579 . Exercises restraint, ponders rather than pouring out, holds back rather than giving full vent, 165 00:20:04,579 –> 00:20:21,020 restraint. And we all know that less is often more when it comes to our words. Someone in 166 00:20:21,020 –> 00:20:31,339 our congregation told me that many years ago when she was a student, she became engaged. And looking 167 00:20:31,339 –> 00:20:37,219 back now, she sees that if she had married the man to whom she was engaged at the time, it would 168 00:20:37,219 –> 00:20:48,660 have been a disaster. But she did not see that at the time. But her father did. And one night, her 169 00:20:48,660 –> 00:21:01,660 father came into her room and said, Honey, just be sure that everything you see in him is what 170 00:21:01,660 –> 00:21:10,920 you want to live with for the rest of your life. And then he said, I love you, and left. 171 00:21:11,280 –> 00:21:18,979 By the end of the week, his daughter had broken the engagement, ended the relationship, 172 00:21:18,979 –> 00:21:24,839 some time later met the man to whom she has been happily married for many years. Now, 173 00:21:24,839 –> 00:21:34,520 that was one wise father. I think many fathers, our instinct would have been in that situation 174 00:21:35,239 –> 00:21:47,459 pour out some great speech, to go on and on and on. But this father had wisdom. Whoever restrains 175 00:21:47,459 –> 00:22:02,219 his words has knowledge, and whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Lord, help me to speak with 176 00:22:02,599 –> 00:22:11,400 restraint. There’s wisdom. Second, Lord, help me to speak with humility. I don’t want to stop long 177 00:22:11,400 –> 00:22:19,439 here, but I do want to draw your attention to it. Proverbs chapter 27 and verse 2. Let another praise 178 00:22:19,439 –> 00:22:29,359 you, and not your own mouth, a stranger, and not your own lips. You remember how Jesus told a story 179 00:22:29,420 –> 00:22:34,119 about a Pharisee who went into the temple and when he spoke to God basically what he was 180 00:22:34,119 –> 00:22:43,500 doing was singing his own praises. Don’t ever sing your own praises. Making a great deal of 181 00:22:43,500 –> 00:22:49,640 all that you’ve done and all that you’ve accomplished and all that you are, let another 182 00:22:49,640 –> 00:22:57,839 praise you and not your own mouth, a stranger, and not your own lips. And so from that I’ve 183 00:22:57,939 –> 00:23:04,939 framed this prayer, Lord, help me to speak with humility. 184 00:23:06,859 –> 00:23:13,859 Restraint, humility. Third word is wisdom. And here I want to point to two proverbs that 185 00:23:15,280 –> 00:23:22,280 go together making the point that the right word, spoken at the right time and in the 186 00:23:23,199 –> 00:23:30,199 right way, has great power. The right word, spoken at the right time and in the right 187 00:23:30,900 –> 00:23:37,599 way has great power. Chapter 15 and verse 23, an apt answer. 188 00:23:37,599 –> 00:23:43,040 Well that’s the right word, isn’t it? The appropriate answer, the apt answer, the right 189 00:23:43,040 –> 00:23:49,920 word is a joy to a man and a word, in season, well that’s the word that’s spoken at the 190 00:23:49,959 –> 00:23:59,880 right time, how good it is. And then alongside that chapter 25 and verse 11, a word fitly 191 00:23:59,880 –> 00:24:07,560 spoken. So, that is the word that is spoken in the right way, fitly spoken, is like apples 192 00:24:07,560 –> 00:24:13,839 of gold in a setting of silver. Now put these together and we have this very 193 00:24:13,839 –> 00:24:18,800 important principle of wisdom. How can you speak with wisdom? Well, it’s a matter of 194 00:24:18,839 –> 00:24:27,219 speaking the right word at the right time and in the right way. And when that is done, 195 00:24:27,219 –> 00:24:34,479 it is something beautiful, it’s something of great value. In fact, it’s compared here 196 00:24:34,479 –> 00:24:41,339 to a work of art. Here’s a craftsman and he has created 197 00:24:41,339 –> 00:24:50,719 these apples of gold. It’s a beautiful piece of artwork. And these apples of gold have 198 00:24:50,719 –> 00:25:00,439 been crafted in a setting of silver. Now, what makes this a beautiful work of art 199 00:25:00,439 –> 00:25:08,459 is the fact that the apples of gold are surrounded by the setting of silver. It’s these two together 200 00:25:08,760 –> 00:25:15,520 that make this the beautiful work of art that it is. If you cut out the silver setting, 201 00:25:15,520 –> 00:25:20,900 the apples of gold would look very bare. And, of course, if you cut out the apples of gold 202 00:25:20,900 –> 00:25:25,760 from what the craftsman has made, well, the settings of silver would just look like craters 203 00:25:25,760 –> 00:25:32,219 on the moon. So the point of the analogy is that the apples of gold and the settings of 204 00:25:32,219 –> 00:25:39,000 silver belong together, and it is the fact that they are together that makes them beautiful. 205 00:25:39,000 –> 00:25:49,660 In the same way, what you say, and how you say it, belong together, and it is the togetherness 206 00:25:49,660 –> 00:25:55,400 of the right word, said at the right time and in the right way, fitly spoken, that’s 207 00:25:55,400 –> 00:26:00,540 the thing that is of great power and of great beauty. What you say on a particular occasion 208 00:26:00,540 –> 00:26:08,599 may be right, but if it is said with harshness, it will do no good. It’s not spoken in the 209 00:26:08,599 –> 00:26:18,900 right way. It’s not got its setting, but the right word spoken at the right time and said 210 00:26:18,900 –> 00:26:25,040 in the right way, as we all know from our experiences, is the thing of beauty and the 211 00:26:25,199 –> 00:26:36,660 thing of great power. Lord, let me speak with that kind of wisdom. So, restraint, these 212 00:26:36,660 –> 00:26:45,020 are the things to pursue in our words. Restraint, humility, wisdom, right word, right time, 213 00:26:45,020 –> 00:26:53,160 right way, and then, lord, help me to speak with grace, with grace. So many references 214 00:26:53,160 –> 00:27:01,239 to this in Proverbs chapter 16 and verse 24. Gracious words. Gracious words. They’re like 215 00:27:01,239 –> 00:27:09,959 a honeycomb and sweetness to the soul and health to the body. And the passage that was 216 00:27:09,959 –> 00:27:15,560 read for us from Proverbs in chapter 15, well, this theme is over Proverbs 15, which is why 217 00:27:15,560 –> 00:27:26,119 we read it today. Verse 1, a soft answer turns away wrath. A soft answer. Or verse 4, 218 00:27:26,119 –> 00:27:36,280 a gentle tongue is the tree of life. Or verse 26, gracious words are pure. 219 00:27:36,280 –> 00:27:47,680 Now, don’t ever imagine for a moment that words that are soft, gentle or gracious are thereby 220 00:27:47,680 –> 00:27:58,380 weak. Look at Proverbs 25 and verse 15, a remarkable statement. With patience a ruler 221 00:27:58,380 –> 00:28:14,020 may be persuaded and a soft tongue will break a bone. A soft tongue will break a bone. Now, 222 00:28:14,020 –> 00:28:22,619 try and take this in. It’s the soft tongue, it is the gentle tongue, it is the gracious 223 00:28:22,660 –> 00:28:34,180 tongue that is stronger than a bone. Gracious, kind, and gentle words are not weak words. They 224 00:28:34,180 –> 00:28:43,459 are powerful. They are very strong. And the reality of life is that venting has very little 225 00:28:43,459 –> 00:28:53,420 effect. You can rage, but very little will be achieved as a result. Man’s anger, the 226 00:28:53,420 –> 00:29:02,060 Bible says, does not accomplish God’s will. But grace does. Grace can change a heart of 227 00:29:02,060 –> 00:29:09,939 stone. Just think about your own life. Christian brother, sister, how has God dealt with you? 228 00:29:10,079 –> 00:29:18,619 How did He change your heart of stone? Was it not His grace that won you? Was it not 229 00:29:18,619 –> 00:29:27,560 His kindness? Was it not the glimpse of His love for you that drew you to Him? God’s kindness 230 00:29:27,560 –> 00:29:34,260 leads us to repentance, Romans chapter 2. You want to lead someone to repentance? Show 231 00:29:34,819 –> 00:29:38,500 kindness. 232 00:29:38,500 –> 00:29:45,500 Here’s Saul of Tarsus, a man as hard as nails and he’s breathing out threats and he’s breathing 233 00:29:47,099 –> 00:29:54,099 out slaughter, his heart’s like stone. But that heart was changed. How was that heart 234 00:29:55,660 –> 00:30:02,660 changed? Answer, Paul tells us himself, by the grace of God I am what I am and His grace 235 00:30:04,560 –> 00:30:11,560 to me has not been without effect. It’s a beautiful statement that David makes in Psalm 236 00:30:15,619 –> 00:30:22,619 18 and verse 35. He says to God it’s your gentleness that has made me great. It’s the 237 00:30:22,619 –> 00:30:34,040 gentleness of God that has made you what you are. It’s 238 00:30:34,040 –> 00:30:40,180 the patience of God, it’s the kindness of God that has led you to repentance. Since 239 00:30:40,180 –> 00:30:45,140 you know that from your own experience, let that be reflected in the kind of words that 240 00:30:45,140 –> 00:30:55,439 you speak and the demeanor that you have towards others. Lord, help me to speak with restraint, 241 00:30:55,439 –> 00:31:07,400 with humility, with wisdom, and with grace. Well, that’s the why and the what. And, of 242 00:31:07,400 –> 00:31:15,119 course, the most important is always the how. So, how are we to grow in this? How can I 243 00:31:15,119 –> 00:31:23,380 speak in this kind of a way? How can I be a person who brings words of life to other 244 00:31:23,380 –> 00:31:30,140 people? And how can I bring blessing into the lives of others? That’s surely the question 245 00:31:30,140 –> 00:31:35,439 that is in all of our minds at this point. And let me just commend this to you first. 246 00:31:35,439 –> 00:31:43,579 It begins with the open ear. The open ear. And two things to say here. The first very 247 00:31:43,579 –> 00:31:48,599 obviously, if you want to bring blessing to others you have to listen to them before you 248 00:31:48,599 –> 00:31:59,380 speak. Proverbs 18 in verse 13, if one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly 249 00:31:59,380 –> 00:32:03,420 and shame. And we’ve all done that surely many times 250 00:32:03,420 –> 00:32:08,520 that we’ve come up with the answer before we’ve really heard the question. And Proverbs 251 00:32:08,959 –> 00:32:16,500 speaks to us so clearly, if one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. 252 00:32:16,500 –> 00:32:23,319 And so in the New Testament, of course, the Apostle James picks this up and he says, know 253 00:32:23,319 –> 00:32:31,439 this my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow 254 00:32:31,439 –> 00:32:37,079 to anger. Then with that the open ear means not only 255 00:32:37,079 –> 00:32:44,959 that we are cultivating the ability to listen to others but that we are practicing what 256 00:32:44,959 –> 00:32:54,079 it means to listen to the very word of God. Proverbs 22 and verse 17. Incline your ear 257 00:32:54,079 –> 00:32:59,959 and hear the words of the wise and apply your heart to my knowledge for it will be pleasant 258 00:33:00,000 –> 00:33:07,000 if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips. So you see here are 259 00:33:07,199 –> 00:33:13,680 two verses they begin with the ear and the end with the lips, you want to have wisdom 260 00:33:13,680 –> 00:33:20,680 on your lips, well it begins with opening your ear. Now when Solomon speaks here about 261 00:33:22,839 –> 00:33:27,959 listening to the words of the wise, of course he’s referring to the words of scripture, 262 00:33:28,119 –> 00:33:33,119 the very words that we are looking at here in Proverbs as a part of the very word of 263 00:33:33,119 –> 00:33:39,439 God. Solomon is telling him, his son, look here is how you get wisdom. You get wisdom 264 00:33:39,439 –> 00:33:46,439 drip fed into you as you listen to the Word of God. The ready tongue begins with the open 265 00:33:48,439 –> 00:33:55,439 ear. And this is taken up very wonderfully in Isaiah and chapter 50, which is a passage 266 00:33:55,800 –> 00:34:02,800 that speaks prophetically about our Lord Jesus Christ. Isaiah chapter 50 verse 4. The Lord 267 00:34:03,599 –> 00:34:10,600 God has given me the tongue of those who are taught that I may know how to sustain 268 00:34:14,120 –> 00:34:20,199 with a word him who is weary. Let me pause there for a moment. Wouldn’t you love to have 269 00:34:21,100 –> 00:34:28,100 that – to know how to sustain with a word the person who is weary? Someone who you’ll 270 00:34:29,360 –> 00:34:36,040 speak to even this morning, someone you’ll speak to this week. And they’re weighed down. 271 00:34:36,040 –> 00:34:43,040 And what am I to say that could be in any way helpful? And Isaiah the prophet says this, 272 00:34:43,260 –> 00:34:48,959 Isaiah the prophet says this, that it is the Lord God who gives the tongue that is taught 273 00:34:48,959 –> 00:34:55,260 to do this, to know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Well, of course, that 274 00:34:55,260 –> 00:35:01,439 leads us to say, well, how do I get this gift? How did Isaiah get this gift? Notice what 275 00:35:01,439 –> 00:35:04,280 he says, because he tells us. 276 00:35:04,280 –> 00:35:13,020 Morning by morning, he – that is, God – awakens me, He awakens my ear to hear as those 277 00:35:13,020 –> 00:35:21,840 who are taught the Lord God has opened my ear. Now, do you see what Isaiah is saying? 278 00:35:21,840 –> 00:35:29,080 The prophet had a morning-by-morning appointment with God, a daily discipline in which his 279 00:35:29,080 –> 00:35:37,879 ear was opened to the word of God, and hiding it in his heart as it was drip-fed into him 280 00:35:37,879 –> 00:35:43,939 was the way in which God gave him the tongue that knew how to say something that was helpful 281 00:35:43,939 –> 00:35:51,239 to a person who is weary. And Alack Martyr says very wonderfully and 282 00:35:51,239 –> 00:35:59,639 rightly, this morning by morning appointment is standard curriculum for all disciples. 283 00:35:59,639 –> 00:36:08,580 I love that. So the wise tongue begins with the open ear, 284 00:36:08,580 –> 00:36:20,879 and it involves a pure heart. Proverbs chapter 16 and verse 23. The heart of the wise makes 285 00:36:20,879 –> 00:36:27,260 his speech judicious. So now we’re being told something about how you get to wise, good, 286 00:36:27,260 –> 00:36:34,219 judicious speech. It’s the heart of the wise that makes a person’s speech what it is and 287 00:36:34,340 –> 00:36:41,979 persuasiveness to his lips. In other words, the words we speak always reveal the state of our 288 00:36:41,979 –> 00:36:49,320 hearts. An anxious heart produces anxious words. An angry heart produces angry words. A grace-filled 289 00:36:49,320 –> 00:36:54,699 heart produces grace-filled words. A patient heart produces patient words and so forth. 290 00:36:54,699 –> 00:37:03,780 But Jesus said, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Now James tells us 291 00:37:03,780 –> 00:37:12,120 that no human being can tame the tongue. And the reason of course that no human being can 292 00:37:12,120 –> 00:37:19,620 tame the tongue is that no human being can change the heart, but God can. And the way 293 00:37:19,739 –> 00:37:25,219 that God tames the tongue is by changing the heart. That is why David said, 294 00:37:25,219 –> 00:37:30,219 create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. 295 00:37:30,219 –> 00:37:36,739 So notice the pattern here. The ear teaches the heart and the heart teaches the mouth. 296 00:37:36,739 –> 00:37:42,500 That’s the how of growing in wisdom with our words. 297 00:37:42,500 –> 00:37:51,020 And then the very last thing is simply this, a cleansed mouth. You remember when Isaiah saw a 298 00:37:51,020 –> 00:38:00,419 vision of God, he found himself overwhelmed by the sheer glory of God’s holiness. And he felt 299 00:38:00,419 –> 00:38:08,540 his own sin as he had never felt it before and he said, I am ruined. And you remember that the sins 300 00:38:08,899 –> 00:38:18,100 which he was most aware were sins of speech. I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among a 301 00:38:18,100 –> 00:38:25,540 people of unclean lips. And Isaiah was a prophet, I mean, already he was speaking the Word of God. 302 00:38:25,540 –> 00:38:31,639 He had public ministry. His lips were the organ of his ministry. His ability to speak was his 303 00:38:31,959 –> 00:38:40,939 greatest gift. But Isaiah discovered that sin hides not only in our darkest failures, 304 00:38:40,939 –> 00:38:48,179 it also clings to our greatest gifts. And if sin inhabits even my greatest gifts, 305 00:38:48,179 –> 00:38:54,439 Isaiah is saying, then I am ruined. Do you remember what happened next in Isaiah’s vision? 306 00:38:54,439 –> 00:39:02,179 Very wonderfully he saw in this vision an angel of the Lord taking a hot coal from the altar that 307 00:39:02,179 –> 00:39:08,159 was burning in the temple and bringing it right over to where Isaiah was and pressing it where? 308 00:39:08,159 –> 00:39:18,100 Right on his lips. In the school I attended, if a boy used bad language, 309 00:39:18,419 –> 00:39:26,139 he was sent out to the restroom to wash out his mouth with soap. I don’t know if it ever 310 00:39:26,139 –> 00:39:37,500 acted as a deterrent. I know this, that soap can’t cleanse a man or a woman’s mouth. But Jesus can. 311 00:39:37,500 –> 00:39:47,139 Jesus can. And when he died on that altar off the cross, he died for all of our sins 312 00:39:47,179 –> 00:39:57,600 including the sins of our lips. And in the vision, God’s provision, that is pointing 313 00:39:57,600 –> 00:40:03,020 forward to what Jesus accomplished on the cross, was taken and it was pressed onto the lips of 314 00:40:03,020 –> 00:40:10,179 Isaiah. And what Jesus has accomplished on the cross can bring cleansing to our lips and to 315 00:40:10,179 –> 00:40:23,860 our mouths too. See, this has touched your lips. Your guilt is taken away. Your sin is atoned for. 316 00:40:23,860 –> 00:40:35,699 And then, God called Isaiah to go out and speak. And when you have the open ear, and the open ear 317 00:40:35,860 –> 00:40:41,459 is changing the heart, and when through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, there’s a cleansing 318 00:40:41,459 –> 00:40:50,500 of the mouth, then we by God’s grace too, will be able to go and speak. And the words that we speak 319 00:40:50,500 –> 00:40:59,979 will not be death words. They’ll be words that bring life. Let’s pray together. Our Father in 320 00:40:59,979 –> 00:41:09,500 heaven, as we have opened our ears to your word, the great desire of our hearts is that our lips 321 00:41:09,500 –> 00:41:21,580 should be brought under your control. Forgive our many sins of speech. Touch our lips with the 322 00:41:21,739 –> 00:41:29,919 cleansing power of Jesus. Purify our hearts. Help us to speak with restraint, and humility, 323 00:41:29,919 –> 00:41:43,280 and wisdom, and grace, so that we may bring words of life, words of blessing, words of hope, 324 00:41:43,280 –> 00:41:53,840 that help others and honour our matchless Saviour, in whose name we pray, AMEN.

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Colin Smith

Trustee / Founder and Teaching Pastor

Colin Smith is the Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near – So Far. Colin is the Founder and Teaching Pastor for Open the Bible. Follow him on X formerly Twitter.

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Sermons on Proverbs Wisdom is the skill you need for putting together a successful life. In this practical sermon series in Proverbs, Pastor Colin talks about the skills you need to build friendships, raise a family, speak encouraging words, have a successful career, and manage your money.

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