Family

Proverbs 18
Broadcast Featured Image

Pastor Colin explores the theme of family, providing insight for husbands, wives, parents, children, brothers, and sisters. Pastor Colin highlights the book’s advice on relationships within the family, starting with siblings. He draws attention to Proverbs 18:19, noting how strained relationships can lead to deep wounds and urging cherishing and guarding strong familial bonds.

For married couples, he points out that a spouse is a gift from the Lord. He mentions Proverbs 18:22 and Proverbs 31, encouraging husbands to appreciate and build up their wives.

Turning to parent-child relationships, he advises children to always bring joy to their parents and to be eager to learn. He underscores the importance of honouring parents, which ties back to respecting God’s commandment.

Addressing parents, he reassures them that they have more influence on their children than they may think, referring to Proverbs 22:6. He stresses the necessity of providing both affirmation and restraint to children, using Proverbs 22:15 and 29:15 as references.

Lastly, Pastor Colin urges parents never to underestimate the power of their example. Sharing a personal anecdote, he illustrates how his father’s commitment to truth and service had a profound impact on him. He concludes by encouraging parents to trust in the Lord with all their hearts concerning their children, fostering faith over fear.

1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:04,900 We’re looking at these proverbs which are wise sayings 2 00:00:04,900 –> 00:00:07,160 that describe the normal pattern 3 00:00:07,160 –> 00:00:09,960 that prevails in this world. 4 00:00:09,960 –> 00:00:12,020 And we come to this book knowing 5 00:00:12,020 –> 00:00:15,060 that Jesus Christ is our wisdom 6 00:00:15,060 –> 00:00:16,879 and to walk in the way of wisdom 7 00:00:16,879 –> 00:00:19,020 is to walk in the way of Jesus 8 00:00:19,020 –> 00:00:20,760 and to walk in the way of Jesus 9 00:00:20,760 –> 00:00:23,879 is always to walk in the way of wisdom. 10 00:00:23,879 –> 00:00:26,600 To follow Jesus is to follow wisdom 11 00:00:26,600 –> 00:00:28,920 and so when the book of proverbs 12 00:00:28,920 –> 00:00:30,480 maps out the way of wisdom, 13 00:00:30,480 –> 00:00:32,720 it really is mapping out what it looks like 14 00:00:32,720 –> 00:00:37,200 to be a disciple of the lord, Jesus Christ. 15 00:00:37,200 –> 00:00:39,240 Now proverbs gives us wisdom 16 00:00:39,240 –> 00:00:41,799 for the whole of life 17 00:00:41,799 –> 00:00:45,360 and we’re looking at five themes in particular. 18 00:00:45,360 –> 00:00:48,180 Last week, we looked at the theme of friendship 19 00:00:48,180 –> 00:00:52,160 and today, we are looking at the theme of family 20 00:00:52,160 –> 00:00:55,279 and the book of proverbs gives wisdom 21 00:00:55,360 –> 00:00:57,740 for husbands and for wives, 22 00:00:57,740 –> 00:01:00,400 for parents and for children 23 00:01:00,400 –> 00:01:04,000 and for brothers and for sisters. 24 00:01:04,000 –> 00:01:05,879 So whatever your situation in life, 25 00:01:05,879 –> 00:01:10,879 there is something here for each and every one of us today. 26 00:01:11,959 –> 00:01:16,959 We’re going to begin with wisdom for brothers and sisters 27 00:01:17,760 –> 00:01:20,879 and I want to draw your attention 28 00:01:20,879 –> 00:01:24,239 to Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 19 29 00:01:24,239 –> 00:01:27,400 where we learn that close relationships 30 00:01:27,400 –> 00:01:30,059 are vulnerable to deep wounds. 31 00:01:30,059 –> 00:01:34,160 Proverbs 18, 19, a brother offended 32 00:01:34,160 –> 00:01:39,239 is more unyielding than a strong city 33 00:01:40,279 –> 00:01:45,279 and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. 34 00:01:46,879 –> 00:01:49,339 The references to a sibling 35 00:01:49,339 –> 00:01:53,519 and if I were to ask how many of us here in this service 36 00:01:53,599 –> 00:01:56,599 have a strained relationship with a sibling, 37 00:01:56,599 –> 00:01:58,160 a brother or a sister. 38 00:01:58,160 –> 00:01:59,599 If I were not going to do this 39 00:01:59,599 –> 00:02:02,019 but if I were to ask for a show of hands 40 00:02:02,019 –> 00:02:04,260 I think there would be plenty. 41 00:02:04,260 –> 00:02:07,440 If you have a sibling how do you get on with your brother? 42 00:02:08,440 –> 00:02:11,320 How do you get on with what is your relationship 43 00:02:11,320 –> 00:02:13,259 like with your sister? 44 00:02:14,460 –> 00:02:16,880 What we’re being told here very clearly 45 00:02:16,880 –> 00:02:18,880 is if you have a good relationship 46 00:02:18,880 –> 00:02:20,800 with your brother or your sister, 47 00:02:20,820 –> 00:02:24,619 cherish it and guard it. 48 00:02:24,619 –> 00:02:28,500 Because Proverbs reminds us that close relationships 49 00:02:28,500 –> 00:02:31,460 are especially vulnerable to deep wounds 50 00:02:31,460 –> 00:02:34,279 that don’t heal easily. 51 00:02:34,279 –> 00:02:39,279 A brother offended is more unyielding 52 00:02:39,759 –> 00:02:42,440 than a strong city. 53 00:02:42,440 –> 00:02:44,779 Now of course you see this throughout the Bible. 54 00:02:44,779 –> 00:02:46,460 You remember that the first two children 55 00:02:46,460 –> 00:02:48,740 born into the world were both boys, 56 00:02:48,740 –> 00:02:50,320 Cain and Abel. 57 00:02:50,320 –> 00:02:53,899 And one of these brothers was jealous of the other 58 00:02:53,899 –> 00:02:57,039 and you know that that story didn’t end well. 59 00:02:58,000 –> 00:03:02,220 Then you have Jacob and Esau. 60 00:03:02,220 –> 00:03:06,699 Then you have Joseph and his brothers. 61 00:03:06,699 –> 00:03:10,880 In the gospels, you have a man who comes to Jesus 62 00:03:10,880 –> 00:03:13,539 asking if Jesus can settle a dispute 63 00:03:13,539 –> 00:03:17,860 that he has with his brother over inheritance money. 64 00:03:17,860 –> 00:03:19,539 How often does that happen? 65 00:03:19,539 –> 00:03:21,720 Squabbling and quarreling in families 66 00:03:21,720 –> 00:03:26,020 between brothers and sisters over who gets what. 67 00:03:27,820 –> 00:03:31,539 And then we are told in regards to the family 68 00:03:31,539 –> 00:03:34,100 in which our Lord Jesus was raised 69 00:03:35,020 –> 00:03:40,020 that the family of Jesus, that is his brothers and sisters, 70 00:03:40,699 –> 00:03:45,119 said that he was out of his mind. 71 00:03:45,759 –> 00:03:50,360 So if jealousy of a brother or sister 72 00:03:50,360 –> 00:03:53,179 is a trial in your life, 73 00:03:54,160 –> 00:03:57,559 then know that the Lord Jesus has been there 74 00:03:58,639 –> 00:04:02,440 and he knows what living with this is like. 75 00:04:02,440 –> 00:04:05,740 A brother offended is more unyielding 76 00:04:05,740 –> 00:04:07,020 than a strong city. 77 00:04:07,020 –> 00:04:12,020 And quarreling is like the bars of a castle. 78 00:04:12,820 –> 00:04:17,660 Now, what that’s telling us is that 79 00:04:17,660 –> 00:04:20,420 when quarreling takes root, 80 00:04:21,700 –> 00:04:24,720 it locks a person in so that it’s as if 81 00:04:24,720 –> 00:04:27,660 you’re behind the bars of a castle 82 00:04:27,660 –> 00:04:30,380 on the one side and your brother or sister 83 00:04:30,380 –> 00:04:35,440 is behind the bars of a castle on the other side. 84 00:04:35,440 –> 00:04:37,339 And the closer the relationship, 85 00:04:37,339 –> 00:04:40,619 the stronger the bars can be. 86 00:04:42,019 –> 00:04:45,579 So, close relationships are vulnerable to deep wounds 87 00:04:45,579 –> 00:04:49,339 and so we are to handle them with special care 88 00:04:49,339 –> 00:04:53,260 and to be very careful not to quarrel 89 00:04:53,260 –> 00:04:56,519 with a brother or with a sister. 90 00:04:56,519 –> 00:04:57,779 And another of the proverbs, 91 00:04:57,779 –> 00:05:00,239 this is Proverbs 17 in verse 14, 92 00:05:00,239 –> 00:05:04,519 says that the beginning of strife, 93 00:05:04,519 –> 00:05:07,459 the beginning of strife, 94 00:05:07,480 –> 00:05:11,220 is like the letting out of water. 95 00:05:12,200 –> 00:05:17,200 So, quit before the quarrel breaks out. 96 00:05:17,660 –> 00:05:20,100 Wonderful wisdom from the Word of God, 97 00:05:20,100 –> 00:05:23,380 guard these relationships that are vulnerable 98 00:05:23,380 –> 00:05:27,260 with special care and especially be careful 99 00:05:27,260 –> 00:05:32,260 not to quarrel with your brother or with your sister. 100 00:05:33,019 –> 00:05:36,880 Second, wisdom for husbands and wifes. 101 00:05:36,880 –> 00:05:38,519 There’s so much here in Proverbs, 102 00:05:38,519 –> 00:05:40,320 I want just to touch on one thing 103 00:05:40,320 –> 00:05:43,380 and that is to remind those of us who are married 104 00:05:43,380 –> 00:05:48,140 that your spouse is a gift from the Lord. 105 00:05:48,140 –> 00:05:50,980 Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 22. 106 00:05:50,980 –> 00:05:55,880 He who finds a wife finds a good thing 107 00:05:55,880 –> 00:06:00,640 and obtains favor from the Lord. 108 00:06:00,640 –> 00:06:04,079 Now remember these are the words of wise King Solomon 109 00:06:04,140 –> 00:06:06,679 to his son Rehoboam. 110 00:06:06,679 –> 00:06:10,179 And here you have therefore a wise father 111 00:06:10,179 –> 00:06:14,739 commending marriage to his son as a good thing. 112 00:06:14,739 –> 00:06:19,739 It’s a good gift from the Lord son, this father says. 113 00:06:20,859 –> 00:06:23,320 Now this is very important for us to remember 114 00:06:23,320 –> 00:06:26,000 because we live in a culture 115 00:06:26,000 –> 00:06:30,799 that often flaunts what it calls freedom. 116 00:06:30,799 –> 00:06:32,880 So you get a question like, 117 00:06:32,880 –> 00:06:36,500 well who wants to be tied down? 118 00:06:37,839 –> 00:06:41,380 But you see the Bible has a very different view 119 00:06:41,380 –> 00:06:43,760 of marriage from that, 120 00:06:43,760 –> 00:06:47,040 a much higher view of marriage. 121 00:06:47,040 –> 00:06:50,399 Solomon says to his son, chapter 12 and verse four, 122 00:06:50,399 –> 00:06:55,399 an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. 123 00:06:57,480 –> 00:07:00,779 The crown of her husband. 124 00:07:01,779 –> 00:07:05,059 And as many of you know well, 125 00:07:05,059 –> 00:07:08,480 the book of Proverbs ends with a poem 126 00:07:08,480 –> 00:07:11,940 composed by a wise husband 127 00:07:11,940 –> 00:07:16,299 in praise of his good and godly wife. 128 00:07:16,299 –> 00:07:19,959 Proverbs 31 and verse 29 here’s what the husband says 129 00:07:19,959 –> 00:07:21,019 of his wife. 130 00:07:21,019 –> 00:07:25,540 Many women have done excellently, 131 00:07:25,540 –> 00:07:29,619 but you surpass them all. 132 00:07:30,540 –> 00:07:33,059 Now, from this from Proverbs chapter 31 133 00:07:33,059 –> 00:07:38,059 where a wise husband expresses his appreciation 134 00:07:38,480 –> 00:07:43,119 and valuing of his wife and all that she does. 135 00:07:43,119 –> 00:07:48,119 From this we learn, husband tell your wife where she excels. 136 00:07:50,380 –> 00:07:54,459 Build her up with this kind of appreciation. 137 00:07:54,459 –> 00:07:59,459 A wise husband expresses the praise of his wife. 138 00:08:00,500 –> 00:08:04,220 Ray Ortland, a pastor who has a very fine book 139 00:08:04,220 –> 00:08:06,660 on the book of Proverbs, points out 140 00:08:07,459 –> 00:08:11,920 that the meaning of the word husband, 141 00:08:11,920 –> 00:08:13,880 wonder if you’ve ever thought about this, 142 00:08:13,880 –> 00:08:17,459 what is a husband, what does that word mean? 143 00:08:18,500 –> 00:08:22,640 Well, when the word husband is used as a verb to husband, 144 00:08:22,640 –> 00:08:26,679 it means to cultivate. 145 00:08:26,899 –> 00:08:29,679 Think of this, husbandry, 146 00:08:29,679 –> 00:08:34,679 husbandry is about the art of caring and cultivating. 147 00:08:36,979 –> 00:08:41,099 So if God has entrusted you with a wife, 148 00:08:41,099 –> 00:08:45,000 your job is to husband her, 149 00:08:45,000 –> 00:08:50,000 that is to create the conditions in which she can flourish. 150 00:08:50,760 –> 00:08:55,539 That is by definition what it means to be a husband, 151 00:08:56,380 –> 00:09:01,380 husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church 152 00:09:02,140 –> 00:09:06,900 and gave himself up for her. 153 00:09:06,900 –> 00:09:09,219 So we read from chapter three this morning, 154 00:09:09,219 –> 00:09:12,419 let love and faithfulness never leave you, 155 00:09:13,299 –> 00:09:14,919 bind them around your neck, 156 00:09:14,919 –> 00:09:16,739 in other words, let your love 157 00:09:16,739 –> 00:09:20,460 and let your faithfulness be evident to all 158 00:09:20,460 –> 00:09:22,979 because it’s visible, bind them around your neck 159 00:09:22,979 –> 00:09:25,739 but also let it be in your heart. 160 00:09:25,739 –> 00:09:28,179 Write them on the tablet of your heart, 161 00:09:28,179 –> 00:09:30,900 then you will win favor and good success 162 00:09:30,900 –> 00:09:35,200 in the sight of God and of man. 163 00:09:36,320 –> 00:09:39,679 So the book of Proverbs, it is full of wisdom 164 00:09:40,599 –> 00:09:42,739 and particularly we are given wisdom 165 00:09:42,739 –> 00:09:46,280 in relation to sibling relationships, 166 00:09:46,280 –> 00:09:48,380 your brother and your sister, 167 00:09:48,380 –> 00:09:52,020 in relation to marriage, husband and wife, 168 00:09:52,979 –> 00:09:56,840 but by far the largest number of Proverbs 169 00:09:56,840 –> 00:09:59,020 that relate to family life 170 00:10:00,020 –> 00:10:02,380 are directed towards the relationship 171 00:10:02,380 –> 00:10:05,419 between parents and children, 172 00:10:05,419 –> 00:10:09,419 and I want to focus in especially on that today. 173 00:10:09,419 –> 00:10:13,940 And first, for us to see together the wisdom of God 174 00:10:13,940 –> 00:10:17,559 that is given to us here for children. 175 00:10:17,559 –> 00:10:19,659 And two things, for all who are younger, 176 00:10:19,659 –> 00:10:23,099 but also all of us who are older as well, 177 00:10:23,099 –> 00:10:25,119 that I want us to see clearly. 178 00:10:25,119 –> 00:10:30,119 The first is always seek to bring joy to your parents. 179 00:10:33,099 –> 00:10:37,099 Whereas I have the privilege of speaking especially now 180 00:10:37,099 –> 00:10:39,200 to those who are younger, 181 00:10:39,200 –> 00:10:42,299 to the children, young people 182 00:10:42,299 –> 00:10:45,619 who are here in the congregation today. 183 00:10:45,619 –> 00:10:48,159 I want you to take this in, 184 00:10:48,159 –> 00:10:51,799 that the word of God calls you 185 00:10:51,799 –> 00:10:56,799 to always bring joy to your father and to your mother. 186 00:10:59,599 –> 00:11:04,599 Look at this, a wise son makes a glad father, 187 00:11:05,039 –> 00:11:10,039 a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother. 188 00:11:12,479 –> 00:11:14,979 Or Proverbs 23 and verse 25, 189 00:11:14,979 –> 00:11:19,559 let your father and mother be glad. 190 00:11:20,659 –> 00:11:25,440 Let her who bore you rejoice. 191 00:11:26,460 –> 00:11:28,780 Now, of course, this is very simply an application 192 00:11:28,780 –> 00:11:30,859 of the fifth commandment, 193 00:11:30,859 –> 00:11:33,099 the commandment in which God says to us 194 00:11:33,099 –> 00:11:36,979 honor your father and your mother, 195 00:11:36,979 –> 00:11:40,159 and that is a commandment that speaks to children, 196 00:11:40,159 –> 00:11:41,820 but not only to children. 197 00:11:41,820 –> 00:11:43,859 There’s not a time limit that’s put on it. 198 00:11:43,880 –> 00:11:46,859 Throughout life here is the commandment of God 199 00:11:46,859 –> 00:11:50,299 that you honor your father and your mother. 200 00:11:50,299 –> 00:11:51,979 Now, what does that mean? 201 00:11:53,059 –> 00:11:55,580 Well, very simply the word honor 202 00:11:55,580 –> 00:11:59,960 means give weight to, 203 00:11:59,960 –> 00:12:03,299 or regard as heavy. 204 00:12:03,299 –> 00:12:05,640 That’s what the word honor means. 205 00:12:06,619 –> 00:12:11,619 So when your father or your mother 206 00:12:11,679 –> 00:12:14,039 tell you to do something, 207 00:12:14,039 –> 00:12:18,799 you are to give weight to what they say. 208 00:12:19,619 –> 00:12:22,500 And in older life, in later life, 209 00:12:22,500 –> 00:12:24,539 as father and mother may have needs, 210 00:12:24,539 –> 00:12:29,219 you are to give weight to their needs 211 00:12:29,219 –> 00:12:30,619 and to their circumstances. 212 00:12:30,619 –> 00:12:32,299 That’s what it means to honor, 213 00:12:32,299 –> 00:12:36,200 give weight to your father and your mother. 214 00:12:37,099 –> 00:12:39,099 So to put this as simply as I can, 215 00:12:39,140 –> 00:12:40,979 especially for the children 216 00:12:40,979 –> 00:12:44,299 and younger folks here this morning, 217 00:12:44,299 –> 00:12:49,099 if your father or your mother tells you to do something 218 00:12:50,419 –> 00:12:52,539 and you don’t want to do it, 219 00:12:53,539 –> 00:12:55,679 here’s what you should say to yourself. 220 00:12:56,739 –> 00:12:59,219 You should say to yourself, 221 00:12:59,219 –> 00:13:04,219 the person who told me to do this is my mother. 222 00:13:04,500 –> 00:13:08,140 It is my mother. 223 00:13:08,140 –> 00:13:11,640 You’ve got to give weight to your father. 224 00:13:11,640 –> 00:13:14,140 And we need to practice this. 225 00:13:14,140 –> 00:13:15,739 Together, please. 226 00:13:15,739 –> 00:13:20,739 The person who told me to do this is my mother. 227 00:13:22,739 –> 00:13:25,000 You see, if it’s your mother who says it, 228 00:13:25,000 –> 00:13:27,099 you give weight to that. 229 00:13:27,099 –> 00:13:29,020 If it’s your father who says it, 230 00:13:29,020 –> 00:13:30,059 you give weight to that. 231 00:13:30,059 –> 00:13:31,099 That’s what it means, 232 00:13:31,099 –> 00:13:34,020 to honor your father and mother. 233 00:13:34,140 –> 00:13:35,520 And when you do that, 234 00:13:35,520 –> 00:13:38,020 you will bring joy to your parents. 235 00:13:38,020 –> 00:13:40,700 A wise son makes a glad father. 236 00:13:40,700 –> 00:13:44,940 Let your father and your mother be glad. 237 00:13:44,940 –> 00:13:48,020 And since we’re in Proverbs, 238 00:13:48,020 –> 00:13:50,380 and there are some ones that are very memorable, 239 00:13:51,340 –> 00:13:53,039 if there should come a time 240 00:13:54,219 –> 00:13:56,500 when you are ever tempted 241 00:13:57,559 –> 00:14:01,940 to look at your father as if you despised him, 242 00:14:02,919 –> 00:14:07,919 or to look at your mother as if you were going to defy her, 243 00:14:10,419 –> 00:14:13,099 then just remember this from the book of Proverbs. 244 00:14:13,099 –> 00:14:15,859 This is Proverbs 30 and verse 17. 245 00:14:15,859 –> 00:14:17,780 What do you think of this? 246 00:14:17,780 –> 00:14:22,159 The eye that mocks a father 247 00:14:23,320 –> 00:14:27,260 and scorns to obey a mother 248 00:14:27,820 –> 00:14:32,580 will be picked out by the ravens of the valley 249 00:14:35,320 –> 00:14:38,640 and eaten by the vultures. 250 00:14:41,520 –> 00:14:46,119 I think that means don’t ever defy your father. 251 00:14:47,500 –> 00:14:51,640 Don’t ever despise your mother. 252 00:14:53,239 –> 00:14:56,739 Okay, always seek to bring joy to your parents. 253 00:14:56,760 –> 00:14:59,239 That’s the wisdom of the word of God. 254 00:14:59,239 –> 00:15:02,479 And here’s the second thing, especially when we’re young, 255 00:15:02,479 –> 00:15:04,719 but really it is a principle to keep with us 256 00:15:04,719 –> 00:15:06,059 all through our lives. 257 00:15:06,059 –> 00:15:10,979 And it’s this, always be willing and even eager to learn. 258 00:15:11,799 –> 00:15:16,039 Always be willing and even eager to learn. 259 00:15:16,039 –> 00:15:18,239 Look at chapter 15 in verse 32. 260 00:15:18,239 –> 00:15:22,119 Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, 261 00:15:23,099 –> 00:15:27,659 but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. 262 00:15:27,659 –> 00:15:29,500 Or chapter 13 in verse one. 263 00:15:29,500 –> 00:15:34,500 A wise son hears his father’s instruction, 264 00:15:34,739 –> 00:15:39,739 but a scoffer doesn’t listen to rebuke. 265 00:15:39,859 –> 00:15:43,460 Now one of the things that’s often true when we’re young 266 00:15:43,460 –> 00:15:47,179 is that we can easily feel that we know it all. 267 00:15:48,140 –> 00:15:51,539 And hopefully as we grow older, 268 00:15:51,739 –> 00:15:52,979 we become a little more humble 269 00:15:52,979 –> 00:15:57,140 and realize that we don’t know as much as we used to think. 270 00:15:57,140 –> 00:16:01,039 There’s a great comment that I believe Mark Twain made. 271 00:16:01,039 –> 00:16:03,099 And it was something to the effect of, 272 00:16:03,099 –> 00:16:08,099 when I was 14, I was convinced that my father knew nothing. 273 00:16:10,479 –> 00:16:13,280 By the time I was 21, I was amazed at how much 274 00:16:13,280 –> 00:16:15,299 he had learned in the last seven years. 275 00:16:15,299 –> 00:16:20,299 Now we read earlier from Proverbs chapter three 276 00:16:21,260 –> 00:16:26,260 and verse seven, do not be wise in your own eyes. 277 00:16:28,340 –> 00:16:31,119 And that theme of the danger of being wise 278 00:16:31,119 –> 00:16:36,119 in your own eyes is repeated throughout Proverbs. 279 00:16:36,119 –> 00:16:39,659 For example, chapter 26 and verse 12 takes it up, 280 00:16:39,659 –> 00:16:44,580 do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? 281 00:16:45,859 –> 00:16:48,500 There’s more hope for a fool than there is for him. 282 00:16:49,159 –> 00:16:53,760 See, Solomon was a teacher. 283 00:16:53,760 –> 00:16:58,460 He was a king, but he was also a teacher of wisdom. 284 00:16:59,380 –> 00:17:04,060 And as a teacher, he discovered what all teachers know, 285 00:17:04,060 –> 00:17:06,420 that there are some students who learn 286 00:17:06,420 –> 00:17:07,839 and others who don’t. 287 00:17:08,699 –> 00:17:13,000 And what Solomon observes here is that those who don’t learn 288 00:17:13,000 –> 00:17:15,979 are those who think they are wise already. 289 00:17:15,979 –> 00:17:17,859 They’re wise in their own eyes. 290 00:17:18,579 –> 00:17:22,099 And so they don’t think that they need to learn anything. 291 00:17:22,099 –> 00:17:23,020 And Solomon says, 292 00:17:23,020 –> 00:17:26,380 there’s more hope for a fool than for that person, why? 293 00:17:26,380 –> 00:17:29,540 Because the fool at least has the advantage 294 00:17:29,540 –> 00:17:31,579 of knowing that he needs to learn. 295 00:17:32,780 –> 00:17:35,260 And the very first lesson 296 00:17:35,260 –> 00:17:38,619 for all of us in the school of wisdom 297 00:17:39,520 –> 00:17:43,500 is that all of us need to learn. 298 00:17:44,540 –> 00:17:47,800 And that is why the Bible says that the fear of the Lord 299 00:17:47,880 –> 00:17:49,540 is the beginning of wisdom. 300 00:17:50,459 –> 00:17:55,459 Wisdom begins when I come to see that I don’t have it. 301 00:17:55,739 –> 00:17:58,239 I need to receive it. 302 00:17:58,239 –> 00:18:00,959 And I need to receive it from the Lord 303 00:18:00,959 –> 00:18:03,859 and I’ll receive it through His word. 304 00:18:04,760 –> 00:18:08,000 In other words, the greatest barrier to gaining wisdom 305 00:18:08,000 –> 00:18:10,939 is the conviction that you already have it. 306 00:18:12,239 –> 00:18:15,819 That is why in Romans 1 in verse 22, 307 00:18:15,839 –> 00:18:20,180 we read that people who thought themselves wise 308 00:18:20,180 –> 00:18:21,780 became fools. 309 00:18:23,000 –> 00:18:25,199 You see, here are men and women who say, 310 00:18:25,199 –> 00:18:29,680 we don’t need God, we’re wise, we’ve got all that we need. 311 00:18:29,680 –> 00:18:31,300 And so they push God away. 312 00:18:31,300 –> 00:18:32,859 And thinking themselves wise, 313 00:18:32,859 –> 00:18:35,060 being wise in their own eyes, what happens? 314 00:18:35,060 –> 00:18:37,119 They begin to live as fools. 315 00:18:37,959 –> 00:18:39,839 That’s Romans 1 in verse 22. 316 00:18:41,500 –> 00:18:44,660 That’s why in 1 Corinthians 3 in verse 18, 317 00:18:44,660 –> 00:18:49,640 Paul says if any of you thinks that he is wise in this age, 318 00:18:49,640 –> 00:18:52,819 let him become a fool in order that he may become wise. 319 00:18:52,819 –> 00:18:55,239 In other words, the only way to really learn 320 00:18:55,239 –> 00:18:59,020 is to begin by recognizing your own need. 321 00:19:00,560 –> 00:19:02,760 So recognize that you need to learn. 322 00:19:03,800 –> 00:19:06,800 Listen to those God has placed around you. 323 00:19:07,699 –> 00:19:12,099 Especially when you are young, listen to your parents. 324 00:19:13,000 –> 00:19:16,800 Take in all that you can from the Word of God 325 00:19:16,800 –> 00:19:20,319 so that you will grow in the path of wisdom 326 00:19:20,319 –> 00:19:22,719 because we are not born with it. 327 00:19:22,719 –> 00:19:27,719 We need to receive it and to receive it from the Lord. 328 00:19:27,880 –> 00:19:30,599 So here are some things especially for children, 329 00:19:30,599 –> 00:19:34,400 but clearly, they remain with us all of our lives, 330 00:19:34,400 –> 00:19:39,079 always seek to bring joy to your parents. 331 00:19:39,900 –> 00:19:42,660 I’ve spoken to so many folks in midlife 332 00:19:42,660 –> 00:19:45,339 who are caring for older parents 333 00:19:46,260 –> 00:19:49,780 and what a wonderful thing to be able to say 334 00:19:49,780 –> 00:19:53,420 the smile of God is upon you as you are doing this. 335 00:19:54,380 –> 00:19:57,939 It is a reflection of the wisdom and the very heart of God. 336 00:19:57,939 –> 00:19:59,760 The way of Jesus. 337 00:20:00,619 –> 00:20:02,540 The way of a disciple. 338 00:20:02,540 –> 00:20:07,239 And always, always be willing and eager to learn. 339 00:20:08,079 –> 00:20:10,760 Now fourthly, the Book of Proverbs 340 00:20:10,760 –> 00:20:14,619 has an abundance of wisdom for parents. 341 00:20:15,640 –> 00:20:19,079 And I want to draw out three themes today 342 00:20:19,079 –> 00:20:22,020 that are especially important. 343 00:20:22,020 –> 00:20:24,800 And the first is that you 344 00:20:24,800 –> 00:20:29,380 have more influence than you may think. 345 00:20:30,479 –> 00:20:35,319 I want this to be a real encouragement to moms and to dads 346 00:20:35,319 –> 00:20:36,839 and to grandparents as well, 347 00:20:37,560 –> 00:20:38,800 but especially to mothers and fathers 348 00:20:38,800 –> 00:20:41,060 who are raising children. 349 00:20:41,060 –> 00:20:43,880 I want you to receive this encouragement from the scripture 350 00:20:43,880 –> 00:20:48,880 that you have more influence than you may think. 351 00:20:50,140 –> 00:20:52,219 Perhaps the best known of the Proverbs 352 00:20:52,219 –> 00:20:54,160 in regards to children, 353 00:20:54,160 –> 00:20:59,119 train up a child in the way he should go 354 00:21:00,040 –> 00:21:03,640 even when he is old, 355 00:21:04,479 –> 00:21:08,119 he will not depart from it. 356 00:21:10,000 –> 00:21:13,119 Now, remember as we recognized right at the beginning 357 00:21:13,119 –> 00:21:16,839 of this series that the Proverbs are Proverbs. 358 00:21:16,839 –> 00:21:18,979 They are not promises. 359 00:21:18,979 –> 00:21:21,060 They are wise sayings 360 00:21:21,060 –> 00:21:23,079 that describe the normal pattern 361 00:21:23,079 –> 00:21:25,819 that prevails in this world. 362 00:21:25,819 –> 00:21:29,959 And this Proverb describes the normal pattern. 363 00:21:29,959 –> 00:21:32,800 It does not promise a particular outcome, 364 00:21:32,859 –> 00:21:35,119 and we recognized this choosing this verse 365 00:21:35,119 –> 00:21:38,280 as an example right at the beginning of the series 366 00:21:38,280 –> 00:21:41,219 as we recognized that Proverbs are Proverbs. 367 00:21:41,219 –> 00:21:43,439 They describe the normal pattern 368 00:21:43,439 –> 00:21:45,219 that prevails in this world. 369 00:21:46,819 –> 00:21:51,640 But when all of that has been recognized and said 370 00:21:51,640 –> 00:21:53,260 and given its due weight, 371 00:21:54,939 –> 00:21:59,819 Proverbs here is making a stunning statement. 372 00:22:00,699 –> 00:22:04,619 Your influence in the lives of your children, 373 00:22:04,619 –> 00:22:09,619 mom, dad, go deeper than you may often think. 374 00:22:11,060 –> 00:22:12,739 It will still be with them, 375 00:22:12,739 –> 00:22:15,119 your influence will still be with them 376 00:22:15,119 –> 00:22:18,599 even when they are old. 377 00:22:20,660 –> 00:22:22,300 There may be times, of course, 378 00:22:22,300 –> 00:22:26,140 and this is the common experience of all parents, 379 00:22:26,140 –> 00:22:28,780 there may be times when it seems to you 380 00:22:28,800 –> 00:22:30,920 that your children are not listening. 381 00:22:31,979 –> 00:22:34,880 There may be times when in exasperation 382 00:22:34,880 –> 00:22:37,099 you say to your husband or your wife 383 00:22:37,099 –> 00:22:42,099 does anything I say ever go in in the life of this child? 384 00:22:44,979 –> 00:22:47,459 And when you find yourself exasperating that way, 385 00:22:47,459 –> 00:22:48,739 I want you to remember this, 386 00:22:48,739 –> 00:22:51,380 that more goes in than you see 387 00:22:52,619 –> 00:22:56,739 and more will remain than you think. 388 00:22:57,699 –> 00:22:59,400 That’s the point of the proverb. 389 00:23:00,339 –> 00:23:03,339 Now let me give you an illustration of that 390 00:23:03,339 –> 00:23:05,020 that’s very striking to me. 391 00:23:06,459 –> 00:23:08,339 The thief on the cross, 392 00:23:09,699 –> 00:23:13,819 the one who was crucified right next to Jesus. 393 00:23:13,819 –> 00:23:16,439 Remember there were two, one on either side. 394 00:23:17,699 –> 00:23:20,660 The thief on the cross had lived his life 395 00:23:20,660 –> 00:23:24,040 in open rebellion against God. 396 00:23:24,979 –> 00:23:26,180 He was a thief. 397 00:23:27,459 –> 00:23:30,459 And from the penalty that he suffered, 398 00:23:30,459 –> 00:23:31,660 being crucified, 399 00:23:31,660 –> 00:23:32,859 it seems very clear, 400 00:23:32,859 –> 00:23:35,219 this wasn’t petty theft. 401 00:23:35,219 –> 00:23:37,339 This man was a robber. 402 00:23:37,339 –> 00:23:42,219 And in all likelihood a violent one at that. 403 00:23:42,219 –> 00:23:44,939 This is the kind of man who would have assaulted 404 00:23:44,939 –> 00:23:48,739 a traveler on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho 405 00:23:48,739 –> 00:23:50,939 and then, having robbed him, 406 00:23:50,939 –> 00:23:54,979 leave him bleeding and wounded in the road. 407 00:23:55,979 –> 00:23:58,780 So here is a man who quite clearly has had 408 00:23:58,780 –> 00:24:02,260 absolutely no place whatsoever 409 00:24:02,260 –> 00:24:04,739 for God in his life. 410 00:24:04,739 –> 00:24:06,819 And yet, 411 00:24:06,819 –> 00:24:09,699 in the last hours of his life, 412 00:24:10,819 –> 00:24:13,699 he looks from where he is on the cross 413 00:24:13,699 –> 00:24:15,339 to the other side of Jesus 414 00:24:15,339 –> 00:24:16,699 where there’s another robber 415 00:24:16,699 –> 00:24:19,819 who presumably was his companion in crime. 416 00:24:19,819 –> 00:24:21,800 And he says to that man, 417 00:24:22,000 –> 00:24:25,680 do you not fear God? 418 00:24:28,280 –> 00:24:29,760 Where did that come from? 419 00:24:31,640 –> 00:24:36,479 Some awareness that there really is a God 420 00:24:36,479 –> 00:24:40,239 to whom we must all one day give an account 421 00:24:40,239 –> 00:24:43,439 had been planted in his soul. 422 00:24:44,400 –> 00:24:46,359 And he’d suppressed it. 423 00:24:47,319 –> 00:24:50,839 And he’d rebelled against it for years. 424 00:24:52,520 –> 00:24:55,599 But even though the truth was suppressed, 425 00:24:55,599 –> 00:24:57,520 the conviction remained. 426 00:24:59,540 –> 00:25:01,619 So I want to say as your pastor 427 00:25:01,619 –> 00:25:06,219 to a troubled father or mother today, 428 00:25:06,219 –> 00:25:10,239 if you have a rebel son or daughter, 429 00:25:10,239 –> 00:25:13,160 a son or daughter who is far from God today, 430 00:25:13,160 –> 00:25:14,760 do not despair. 431 00:25:16,560 –> 00:25:21,359 The living seed of the word of God has been planted 432 00:25:21,780 –> 00:25:25,020 and who knows what God may yet do with it. 433 00:25:26,479 –> 00:25:30,380 You have, mother, father more influenced 434 00:25:30,380 –> 00:25:32,140 than you may think. 435 00:25:33,260 –> 00:25:38,260 So be encouraged by this wonderful proverb. 436 00:25:38,540 –> 00:25:40,859 Train up a child. 437 00:25:40,859 –> 00:25:41,939 Notice that word, by the way, 438 00:25:41,939 –> 00:25:45,520 emphasizing the importance of early years. 439 00:25:46,579 –> 00:25:49,660 Train up a child in the way he should go 440 00:25:49,660 –> 00:25:52,959 and even when he is old, 441 00:25:53,819 –> 00:25:55,520 he will not depart from it. 442 00:25:57,420 –> 00:25:58,859 That’s the first piece of wisdom 443 00:25:58,859 –> 00:26:01,180 that I want to draw out for us today 444 00:26:01,180 –> 00:26:02,319 from the book of Proverbs. 445 00:26:02,319 –> 00:26:03,339 Here’s the second. 446 00:26:04,219 –> 00:26:09,219 Your child needs restraint 447 00:26:09,380 –> 00:26:12,939 as well as affirmation. 448 00:26:12,939 –> 00:26:17,939 Your children need restraint as well as affirmation. 449 00:26:18,900 –> 00:26:22,819 Now, here, let’s begin with Proverbs 22 in verse 15, 450 00:26:22,819 –> 00:26:26,520 where we’re told folly is bound up 451 00:26:26,520 –> 00:26:28,520 in the heart of a child. 452 00:26:28,520 –> 00:26:32,540 But the rod of discipline 453 00:26:32,540 –> 00:26:35,900 drives it far from him. 454 00:26:37,479 –> 00:26:40,280 Now, our secular world, as you know well, 455 00:26:40,280 –> 00:26:43,880 has largely bought into the idea 456 00:26:43,880 –> 00:26:47,800 that if you just follow the impulses of your own heart, 457 00:26:47,819 –> 00:26:50,199 they will lead you into life. 458 00:26:51,520 –> 00:26:55,160 But Proverbs says very clearly, not so fast. 459 00:26:56,060 –> 00:26:58,260 There’s a problem with that. 460 00:26:58,260 –> 00:26:59,859 And here’s the problem. 461 00:26:59,859 –> 00:27:04,540 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. 462 00:27:04,540 –> 00:27:09,540 So if you follow every impulse of your own heart, 463 00:27:10,060 –> 00:27:12,619 there will be impulses in your own heart 464 00:27:12,619 –> 00:27:14,839 that will lead you to your own destruction. 465 00:27:15,739 –> 00:27:18,719 Now parents you see who have bought 466 00:27:18,719 –> 00:27:22,140 into the philosophy of the culture 467 00:27:22,140 –> 00:27:26,099 and have come to believe that everything, 468 00:27:26,099 –> 00:27:29,420 everything in your child’s heart is good, 469 00:27:29,420 –> 00:27:32,660 well, if you really believe that, 470 00:27:32,660 –> 00:27:37,660 then you will see the entire job of parenting 471 00:27:38,839 –> 00:27:43,280 as simply being encouraging and affirming, 472 00:27:43,300 –> 00:27:47,900 bringing out what’s there because you believe 473 00:27:47,900 –> 00:27:51,719 that everything that is there is good. 474 00:27:53,479 –> 00:27:58,380 But parents who believe the Bible know something else. 475 00:27:58,380 –> 00:28:01,219 Parents who believe the Bible know 476 00:28:01,219 –> 00:28:06,219 that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. 477 00:28:07,319 –> 00:28:10,560 In other words, that sin is deeply-rooted 478 00:28:10,640 –> 00:28:13,420 in all human nature. 479 00:28:13,420 –> 00:28:15,719 And when a parent understands that, 480 00:28:15,719 –> 00:28:18,660 this wise parent will therefore know 481 00:28:18,660 –> 00:28:23,660 that their calling is not only to encourage and affirm, 482 00:28:25,180 –> 00:28:29,020 which it certainly is, to surround with love, 483 00:28:29,959 –> 00:28:33,160 but that a significant part of the love 484 00:28:33,160 –> 00:28:35,119 with which you surround your child 485 00:28:35,119 –> 00:28:38,439 is to exercise restraint in regards 486 00:28:38,439 –> 00:28:40,800 to the impulses in your child’s heart 487 00:28:40,800 –> 00:28:43,560 that otherwise would be destructive. 488 00:28:44,900 –> 00:28:48,699 Proverbs speaks in this regard 489 00:28:48,699 –> 00:28:52,339 several times about the rod. 490 00:28:53,239 –> 00:28:56,119 Chapter 29 and verse 15, 491 00:28:56,119 –> 00:29:00,500 “‘The rod and reproof give wisdom, 492 00:29:00,500 –> 00:29:04,119 “‘but a child left to himself’,” 493 00:29:04,119 –> 00:29:05,439 very striking phrase, 494 00:29:05,439 –> 00:29:10,439 “‘a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” 495 00:29:11,819 –> 00:29:14,140 Now let’s confront this directly. 496 00:29:15,520 –> 00:29:17,339 Is the Bible telling us 497 00:29:17,339 –> 00:29:21,160 that we are to beat our children with sticks? 498 00:29:22,199 –> 00:29:23,520 Answer, 499 00:29:23,520 –> 00:29:24,619 no. 500 00:29:25,760 –> 00:29:28,800 Now that may be how these verses 501 00:29:28,800 –> 00:29:32,319 have been understood in past centuries, 502 00:29:32,319 –> 00:29:35,719 but I think that there is a better way 503 00:29:35,719 –> 00:29:39,119 for us to understand what is being said here. 504 00:29:39,959 –> 00:29:40,880 When we were studying 505 00:29:40,880 –> 00:29:43,920 in the book of Lamentations a couple of years ago, 506 00:29:43,920 –> 00:29:46,239 I was greatly helped 507 00:29:46,239 –> 00:29:50,839 by what Bible scholar Christopher Wright says about the rod, 508 00:29:50,839 –> 00:29:54,920 which also appears in the book of Lamentations. 509 00:29:54,920 –> 00:29:57,140 He points out 510 00:29:57,140 –> 00:30:00,300 that the best-known reference to the rod 511 00:30:00,339 –> 00:30:04,079 in all of the Bible is in Psalm 23, 512 00:30:05,560 –> 00:30:07,280 where David says, 513 00:30:07,280 –> 00:30:12,280 “‘Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.’” 514 00:30:13,380 –> 00:30:15,380 Now that raises an obvious question. 515 00:30:15,380 –> 00:30:18,420 Why in the world would David say 516 00:30:18,420 –> 00:30:22,119 that God’s rod comforts him? 517 00:30:23,099 –> 00:30:24,739 And the answer, of course, is 518 00:30:24,739 –> 00:30:29,619 because the shepherd did not use the rod 519 00:30:29,619 –> 00:30:30,920 to beat the sheep. 520 00:30:31,939 –> 00:30:36,500 The shepherd used the rod to fend off the wild animals 521 00:30:36,500 –> 00:30:39,819 that might otherwise attack the sheep and kill them. 522 00:30:40,680 –> 00:30:45,680 The shepherd carried the rod in order to fend off the wolf. 523 00:30:46,060 –> 00:30:50,300 And the sheep had the comfort of knowing 524 00:30:50,300 –> 00:30:51,939 that they would not be left 525 00:30:51,939 –> 00:30:56,260 at the mercy of enemies that otherwise would consume them. 526 00:30:57,020 –> 00:31:02,020 Now, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. 527 00:31:04,020 –> 00:31:08,359 Foolishness is bound up in the hearts of your children. 528 00:31:08,359 –> 00:31:11,739 And you will bring them great comfort 529 00:31:11,739 –> 00:31:16,119 if they know that you will not allow them 530 00:31:16,119 –> 00:31:21,119 to follow the destructive impulses of their own hearts. 531 00:31:21,939 –> 00:31:26,939 A child left to himself, as the Proverbs puts it, 532 00:31:27,119 –> 00:31:32,119 is in a very scary place, indeed. 533 00:31:32,160 –> 00:31:36,619 See, your little girl, your little boy, 534 00:31:36,619 –> 00:31:39,839 as they grow up they’re going to find impulses 535 00:31:39,839 –> 00:31:44,839 within their own hearts of pride and selfishness 536 00:31:45,459 –> 00:31:50,260 and anger and laziness and much else 537 00:31:51,479 –> 00:31:56,479 besides and they need the security 538 00:31:56,540 –> 00:31:59,420 of being restrained by rebuke, 539 00:32:00,579 –> 00:32:05,579 of incurring some loss or by bringing some penalty to bear 540 00:32:07,619 –> 00:32:12,619 and with that restraint you will bring comfort. 541 00:32:14,520 –> 00:32:17,540 Now, don’t expect your children to say, 542 00:32:17,540 –> 00:32:20,140 your restraint comforts me, 543 00:32:23,420 –> 00:32:28,420 but without it, they would be in a very scary place indeed. 544 00:32:31,380 –> 00:32:33,479 So, here is wisdom for parents, 545 00:32:34,459 –> 00:32:37,500 you have more influence than you may think, 546 00:32:37,500 –> 00:32:39,359 so please be encouraged. 547 00:32:40,660 –> 00:32:45,199 Second, remember that your children need restrant 548 00:32:45,199 –> 00:32:47,160 as well as affirmation. 549 00:32:48,439 –> 00:32:51,160 And then, here’s the last thing today. 550 00:32:51,160 –> 00:32:56,160 Never underestimate the power of example. 551 00:32:57,339 –> 00:33:00,599 Never underestimate, mother, father, 552 00:33:00,599 –> 00:33:05,060 the power of your example. 553 00:33:05,060 –> 00:33:07,560 And here we come back to chapter three in verse one 554 00:33:07,560 –> 00:33:09,319 that was read for us earlier. 555 00:33:09,319 –> 00:33:11,619 Solomon says to Rehoboam, his son, 556 00:33:11,619 –> 00:33:16,619 my son, do not forget my teaching, 557 00:33:17,119 –> 00:33:20,579 but let your heart keep my commandments. 558 00:33:21,420 –> 00:33:23,420 If you look back to the beginning of chapter two, 559 00:33:23,420 –> 00:33:25,939 you’ll see that that personal pronoun, my, 560 00:33:25,939 –> 00:33:28,640 is repeated there, and it’s also in chapter seven, 561 00:33:28,640 –> 00:33:32,920 verse one, my son, keep my words. 562 00:33:32,920 –> 00:33:36,239 Treasure up my commandments with you. 563 00:33:36,239 –> 00:33:40,739 Keep my commandments and live. 564 00:33:41,800 –> 00:33:46,119 Think about that, keep my commandments and live. 565 00:33:46,160 –> 00:33:50,380 The only commandments that are life-giving 566 00:33:50,380 –> 00:33:54,680 are the words and the commandments of God himself. 567 00:33:54,680 –> 00:33:57,680 So what we have here is a father 568 00:33:57,680 –> 00:34:01,079 who has made God’s commandments his own commandments, 569 00:34:01,079 –> 00:34:06,079 God’s teaching his own teaching, God’s word his own word. 570 00:34:06,640 –> 00:34:09,620 And so what he commands to his son 571 00:34:09,620 –> 00:34:12,040 is what he has made his own, 572 00:34:12,919 –> 00:34:17,719 in other words, he is exercising the power of example 573 00:34:17,719 –> 00:34:20,020 and he is leading his son, 574 00:34:20,020 –> 00:34:23,979 leading the daughter in exactly that way. 575 00:34:25,939 –> 00:34:28,060 Most of you know that I very rarely speak 576 00:34:28,060 –> 00:34:30,040 in a personal way from the pulpit, 577 00:34:30,040 –> 00:34:32,899 but speaking of the power of example. 578 00:34:34,739 –> 00:34:38,780 My father worked two jobs when I was young 579 00:34:39,739 –> 00:34:42,860 and on top of that he was a deacon 580 00:34:42,860 –> 00:34:44,820 in the little church in which we grew up 581 00:34:44,820 –> 00:34:46,219 in Edinburgh, Scotland. 582 00:34:47,639 –> 00:34:51,360 And I have to say that these deacons’ meetings 583 00:34:51,360 –> 00:34:56,100 were evidently not well-organized or run 584 00:34:56,100 –> 00:34:58,959 in the way that our meetings of the church board 585 00:34:58,959 –> 00:35:00,600 are at the Orchard 586 00:35:00,600 –> 00:35:04,979 because they often went on well after midnight. 587 00:35:05,979 –> 00:35:09,939 And my father worked shifts, 588 00:35:09,939 –> 00:35:12,560 which meant that there were oftentimes 589 00:35:12,560 –> 00:35:14,780 when he was up at four in the morning 590 00:35:15,860 –> 00:35:20,699 and he was at a deacons’ meeting until past midnight 591 00:35:20,699 –> 00:35:23,739 and was up at four o’clock the next morning 592 00:35:23,739 –> 00:35:25,620 for the work of the next day. 593 00:35:26,820 –> 00:35:29,800 And I remember thinking as a boy, 594 00:35:30,159 –> 00:35:35,159 he thinks that serving the church is that important. 595 00:35:41,459 –> 00:35:45,560 And I remember very vividly him telling me 596 00:35:45,560 –> 00:35:46,919 when I was a teenager 597 00:35:48,320 –> 00:35:51,699 about a time when he was put under great pressure 598 00:35:51,699 –> 00:35:53,959 to bend the truth. 599 00:35:54,959 –> 00:35:57,360 and he wouldn’t do it 600 00:35:59,020 –> 00:36:01,000 and it cost him greatly. 601 00:36:02,719 –> 00:36:05,760 And I remember thinking as a teenager 602 00:36:06,860 –> 00:36:10,540 the truth is that important 603 00:36:12,320 –> 00:36:13,620 to my dad. 604 00:36:15,879 –> 00:36:18,560 And now after all these years, 605 00:36:18,560 –> 00:36:20,639 and I have my own grandchildren now, 606 00:36:22,000 –> 00:36:23,760 I look back 607 00:36:23,760 –> 00:36:26,120 and I see that the very things 608 00:36:26,120 –> 00:36:29,479 that I’ve tried to pursue in my own life 609 00:36:30,760 –> 00:36:32,199 to serve the church 610 00:36:33,560 –> 00:36:34,959 and to hold the truth, 611 00:36:36,300 –> 00:36:39,600 they were planted in me very early 612 00:36:40,620 –> 00:36:42,699 by the example of a godly father. 613 00:36:44,840 –> 00:36:47,139 So if you are a parent, 614 00:36:47,139 –> 00:36:51,280 a great motivation for living a godly life 615 00:36:51,360 –> 00:36:55,580 is to give your children a credible example to follow. 616 00:36:57,560 –> 00:37:01,580 God’s words are the words that I believe, son. 617 00:37:02,879 –> 00:37:07,560 God’s way is the way that I am committed to follow, 618 00:37:07,560 –> 00:37:09,719 son, daughter. 619 00:37:11,520 –> 00:37:13,300 Now, how are you gonna do that? 620 00:37:14,719 –> 00:37:17,520 Well, the only way to walk in obedience 621 00:37:17,520 –> 00:37:20,760 is to walk by faith, 622 00:37:20,800 –> 00:37:23,600 and that is why it’s so significant and so beautiful 623 00:37:23,600 –> 00:37:26,899 that in Proverbs in Chapter Three, which was read to us, 624 00:37:26,899 –> 00:37:31,639 Solomon begins speaking to his son 625 00:37:31,639 –> 00:37:33,399 and then he goes next to say 626 00:37:33,399 –> 00:37:36,080 trust in the Lord with all your heart. 627 00:37:36,080 –> 00:37:37,659 That’s the only way you can do it. 628 00:37:37,659 –> 00:37:40,600 You have to receive from the Lord what you need 629 00:37:40,600 –> 00:37:44,860 in order to pursue the way in which he calls you to live. 630 00:37:44,860 –> 00:37:47,699 So trust in the Lord with all your heart, verse five, 631 00:37:47,719 –> 00:37:50,860 and do not lean on your own understanding. 632 00:37:51,760 –> 00:37:55,379 Now you see, you can only call on your children 633 00:37:55,379 –> 00:37:57,020 to trust in the Lord 634 00:37:57,959 –> 00:38:02,600 if you clearly are trusting in the Lord yourself. 635 00:38:04,020 –> 00:38:08,659 So I want to say to parents especially today, 636 00:38:09,659 –> 00:38:14,040 trust in the Lord with all your heart 637 00:38:14,979 –> 00:38:19,639 and especially trust in the Lord with all your heart 638 00:38:19,639 –> 00:38:21,979 in relation to your children. 639 00:38:24,159 –> 00:38:26,399 The wisest counsel that I ever heard 640 00:38:26,399 –> 00:38:28,439 in regards to raising children 641 00:38:28,439 –> 00:38:32,360 came from a man strangely who never had the joy 642 00:38:32,360 –> 00:38:34,719 and privilege of being a father. 643 00:38:34,719 –> 00:38:37,280 William Still was a Scottish pastor 644 00:38:37,280 –> 00:38:40,399 now many years with the Lord 645 00:38:40,399 –> 00:38:44,360 and he remained single throughout his entire life. 646 00:38:44,360 –> 00:38:46,639 But this was his counsel to parents. 647 00:38:47,959 –> 00:38:52,959 Bring your children up in faith not fear. 648 00:38:54,919 –> 00:38:56,520 That has helped me so much. 649 00:38:57,540 –> 00:39:01,659 Bring your children up in faith not fear. 650 00:39:01,659 –> 00:39:04,959 In other words trust the Lord in regards to your children, 651 00:39:04,959 –> 00:39:06,540 trust him with all your heart. 652 00:39:07,500 –> 00:39:10,659 You fear what sin can do to them, 653 00:39:12,239 –> 00:39:15,120 trust what the Lord can do in them. 654 00:39:16,280 –> 00:39:19,419 You fear the pressures of the world 655 00:39:19,419 –> 00:39:23,159 and of the schools and of the media 656 00:39:23,159 –> 00:39:24,780 and of the culture. 657 00:39:24,780 –> 00:39:28,199 Trust what God can do in your children 658 00:39:28,199 –> 00:39:31,820 through his Spirit and by his word. 659 00:39:32,479 –> 00:39:36,399 Trust in the Lord with all your heart 660 00:39:38,060 –> 00:39:41,639 and give your children reason to think, 661 00:39:41,639 –> 00:39:46,639 my Father and my Mother trust the Lord 662 00:39:47,120 –> 00:39:49,840 even when it comes to me. 663 00:39:52,159 –> 00:39:54,760 Now let’s take a moment to bow in God’s presence 664 00:39:55,600 –> 00:39:56,479 and to pray. 665 00:39:58,139 –> 00:40:00,540 And as we take a moment to respond today 666 00:40:00,639 –> 00:40:03,360 I want you to think about a sibling 667 00:40:03,360 –> 00:40:06,300 if you have one, your brother or sister, 668 00:40:07,860 –> 00:40:11,360 and to ask God to help you in these relationships 669 00:40:12,820 –> 00:40:14,540 to show the love of Christ 670 00:40:14,540 –> 00:40:17,780 to your brother, your sister. 671 00:40:20,100 –> 00:40:22,860 And if there are bars of a castle in your heart 672 00:40:22,860 –> 00:40:26,060 towards your brother, ask God to take them down now. 673 00:40:30,840 –> 00:40:32,699 And if there are bars of a castle 674 00:40:32,699 –> 00:40:34,860 that your sister or brother has towards you, 675 00:40:34,860 –> 00:40:38,500 ask God to help you do what you can to make things better 676 00:40:39,800 –> 00:40:42,399 and pray that he may yet give you a better day. 677 00:40:45,020 –> 00:40:46,300 And now I want you to think about 678 00:40:46,300 –> 00:40:47,939 your father and your mother. 679 00:40:49,540 –> 00:40:50,820 Thank God for them. 680 00:40:52,739 –> 00:40:53,899 If they are still living, 681 00:40:53,899 –> 00:40:56,620 ask God to help you honour them, 682 00:40:56,699 –> 00:41:00,000 to give weight to their words and to their needs. 683 00:41:02,199 –> 00:41:03,840 And especially if you’re young, 684 00:41:03,840 –> 00:41:08,020 right now, will you ask God to help you bring joy 685 00:41:08,020 –> 00:41:10,879 to your father and your mother’s heart? 686 00:41:11,820 –> 00:41:13,679 Ask God to help you do that. 687 00:41:16,739 –> 00:41:17,800 If you’re married, 688 00:41:18,860 –> 00:41:20,979 will you thank God for giving your husband 689 00:41:20,979 –> 00:41:22,439 or your wife to you? 690 00:41:23,199 –> 00:41:26,219 And resolve today with the help of God 691 00:41:26,219 –> 00:41:29,919 to do all in your power to help them flourish. 692 00:41:34,479 –> 00:41:35,780 And if you have children, 693 00:41:37,379 –> 00:41:39,659 will you trust them right now here in church, 694 00:41:39,659 –> 00:41:42,300 today, afresh into the hand of the Lord? 695 00:41:44,260 –> 00:41:48,399 Ask God to help you bring them up in faith, 696 00:41:48,399 –> 00:41:51,159 not in sacrifice. 697 00:41:52,639 –> 00:41:54,840 Ask God to bring them up, 698 00:41:56,179 –> 00:41:57,379 not fear. 699 00:41:59,899 –> 00:42:01,979 And if they are far from God, 700 00:42:01,979 –> 00:42:04,399 ask Him to bring them back. 701 00:42:08,399 –> 00:42:10,239 Father, hear our prayers 702 00:42:11,000 –> 00:42:13,139 and strengthen our resolve. 703 00:42:14,399 –> 00:42:18,120 Cover our many sins and failures with your grace 704 00:42:18,120 –> 00:42:21,239 a blessing on our families, 705 00:42:21,239 –> 00:42:23,040 for Christ’s sake, 706 00:42:24,540 –> 00:42:25,439 amen.

Details

Sermon Series
Date
Scripture
Primary Audience

Monthly Offer

Coming this October … Colin’s new booklet, ‘What Would Jesus Say to Sceptics’, when you set up a monthly direct debit of £5 or more, or give a one off gift of at least £50…

Donate

Colin Smith

Trustee / Founder and Teaching Pastor

Colin Smith is the Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near – So Far. Colin is the Founder and Teaching Pastor for Open the Bible. Follow him on X formerly Twitter.

Linked resources

Sermons on Proverbs Wisdom is the skill you need for putting together a successful life. In this practical sermon series in Proverbs, Pastor Colin talks about the skills you need to build friendships, raise a family, speak encouraging words, have a successful career, and manage your money.

Colin Smith

Search

Search

Header Submit Search