1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:04,880 Well, good morning, everyone. What a joy to be together today. I do hope that you’ll open your 2 00:00:04,880 –> 00:00:10,880 Bible at The Book of Proverbs—we’re continuing our new series entitled Wisdom for Life, 3 00:00:11,520 –> 00:00:16,480 and we’re looking at this marvelous, though perhaps for some of us less familiar part 4 00:00:16,480 –> 00:00:22,240 of the Bible. Last week we said three things by way of introduction that are important to remember. 5 00:00:22,240 –> 00:00:25,040 The first is that the Proverbs are proverbs. 6 00:00:25,760 –> 00:00:30,559 They are wise sayings that describe the normal pattern that prevails in this world. 7 00:00:31,600 –> 00:00:36,400 The Proverbs are not promises. That’s very important to remember. They are 8 00:00:36,400 –> 00:00:42,160 proverbs. They describe the normal pattern that prevails in this world. 9 00:00:43,040 –> 00:00:46,880 Second, the Proverbs assume a relationship. They are spoken in the first 10 00:00:46,880 –> 00:00:53,279 instance by a father to a son—King Solomon speaking to his son Rehoboam. There’s a relationship 11 00:00:53,279 –> 00:01:00,320 of love there. And because these Proverbs are in Holy Scripture, we are to hear in these words 12 00:01:00,320 –> 00:01:09,040 the voice of our loving Heavenly Father speaking to us—His children—and imparting His wisdom to us. 13 00:01:10,080 –> 00:01:16,720 Thirdly, the Proverbs point to the Lord Jesus Christ. All Scripture, as we saw throughout 14 00:01:16,720 –> 00:01:22,559 last year, points to the Lord Jesus Christ. And this book particularly points to Jesus in this 15 00:01:22,559 –> 00:01:31,760 way. We’re told that in Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and of knowledge. All wisdom 16 00:01:31,760 –> 00:01:39,440 is hidden in Christ. Christ is our wisdom, and so to follow Jesus is to follow wisdom—to 17 00:01:40,559 –> 00:01:48,400 listen to Jesus is to listen to wisdom—to grow in Jesus is to grow in wisdom. The way 18 00:01:48,400 –> 00:01:56,800 of wisdom is always the way of Jesus, and the way of Jesus is always the way of wisdom. 19 00:01:57,440 –> 00:02:04,639 So Proverbs declares to us what a life of wisdom or a life of following Jesus—it’s 20 00:02:04,639 –> 00:02:10,559 really the same thing, you see. What a life of following Jesus really looks like here 21 00:02:10,559 –> 00:02:19,440 then is a map for a life of discipleship. Now in this series, it’s going to be very practical. 22 00:02:20,160 –> 00:02:27,600 We’re going to look at the way of wisdom, the way of Jesus in relation to five areas of our lives. 23 00:02:27,600 –> 00:02:33,520 Today we’re going to look at friendship then we’re going to look at family and words and work 24 00:02:34,160 –> 00:02:39,360 and wealth. We begin today then with the subject of friends. I do want to recommend 25 00:02:39,360 –> 00:02:45,919 an excellent resource, a book that I have mentioned before, and that is Drew Hunter’s 26 00:02:45,919 –> 00:02:52,320 excellent book entitled Made for Friendship. Drew Hunter is a pastor in Indianapolis. 27 00:02:52,320 –> 00:02:57,440 This is the most helpful book that I have read on the subject of friendship. 28 00:02:57,440 –> 00:03:04,960 It is full of insight, and I warmly commend that to you. Now today, I want us to focus 29 00:03:04,960 –> 00:03:10,080 from the book of Proverbs on three main areas. The first is how you can have good friends. 30 00:03:10,800 –> 00:03:14,080 Very important and practical subject. We’ll spend most of our time there. 31 00:03:14,639 –> 00:03:18,960 How you can have good friends. Second and more briefly, we will look 32 00:03:19,520 –> 00:03:24,720 at how you can be a good friend. How can I become a better friend? 33 00:03:25,679 –> 00:03:31,119 And then thirdly, and just very briefly at the end, why you should seek the best friend. 34 00:03:31,839 –> 00:03:38,160 So first then, how you can have good friends. And three things here, drawn from the Proverbs. 35 00:03:38,160 –> 00:03:43,440 The Proverbs are not arranged by themes, so throughout the series we’ll be drawing Proverbs 36 00:03:43,440 –> 00:03:48,080 from different parts of the book. And all together we’ll look at 14 different Proverbs in the course 37 00:03:48,080 –> 00:03:56,080 of our time together this morning. First, then, seek friends intentionally. 38 00:03:56,080 –> 00:03:59,440 If you want to have good friends, you have to seek them intentionally. 39 00:03:59,440 –> 00:04:06,960 Proverbs 18 and verse 1 says, whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire. 40 00:04:07,919 –> 00:04:15,119 He breaks out against all sound wisdom. That is a very striking statement. 41 00:04:15,119 –> 00:04:19,279 Whoever isolates himself, I just want to be a loner, 42 00:04:21,119 –> 00:04:28,720 that person seeks his own desire, the Bible says. In other words he’s only concerned about himself. 43 00:04:30,399 –> 00:04:38,000 And if you’re only concerned about yourself, you break out against all sound judgment. 44 00:04:38,799 –> 00:04:42,959 Now why? Why is that? Well the answer is because 45 00:04:43,679 –> 00:04:50,000 you are made in the image of God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 46 00:04:50,959 –> 00:04:56,619 God enjoys relationship within the triunity of his own being, and 47 00:04:57,239 –> 00:04:59,480 you are made in his image 48 00:05:00,880 –> 00:05:07,559 Dru Hunter says this very well in the book I referred to a moment ago. He says to be made in God’s image 49 00:05:08,760 –> 00:05:11,320 Means to be wired for relationship 50 00:05:12,339 –> 00:05:16,140 And that’s very true. You are wired for relationship 51 00:05:16,140 –> 00:05:19,880 That’s part of what it means to be made in the image of God 52 00:05:20,380 –> 00:05:27,820 And again, Drew hunter points out that the first human problem. The first problem in the world was not actually sin 53 00:05:27,880 –> 00:05:29,880 It was solitude 54 00:05:29,880 –> 00:05:31,880 you remember on the days of creation 55 00:05:32,100 –> 00:05:36,859 At the end of each of the days God looked at what he had done and he said it is good 56 00:05:36,859 –> 00:05:43,459 It is good. It is good. But after he made the man for the very first time. He said it’s not good 57 00:05:43,859 –> 00:05:49,799 What he said was not good was it is not good for the man to be 58 00:05:50,339 –> 00:05:51,899 alone 59 00:05:51,899 –> 00:05:57,940 So proverb says because it is not good for the man to be alone. Whoever isolates himself 60 00:05:59,059 –> 00:06:00,980 breaks out against 61 00:06:00,980 –> 00:06:03,660 Sound judgment. We are wired for 62 00:06:04,820 –> 00:06:06,820 relationship and therefore 63 00:06:07,179 –> 00:06:11,279 Friendship is a wonderful gift from God 64 00:06:11,820 –> 00:06:19,079 God did not intend any of us here today to live in isolation. And so we must seek friends 65 00:06:19,239 –> 00:06:21,239 intentionally 66 00:06:21,839 –> 00:06:23,839 Now, how do you do that? 67 00:06:25,040 –> 00:06:30,720 Well very practically speaking the way that you do that is by taking an active interest 68 00:06:31,000 –> 00:06:33,119 in the lives of other people 69 00:06:34,480 –> 00:06:40,600 There’s a wonderful reference in the New Testament scriptures in Philippians chapter 2 where Paul speaks about Timothy 70 00:06:41,920 –> 00:06:47,140 And Paul says about Timothy I have no one else like him 71 00:06:47,720 –> 00:06:51,059 Who takes a genuine interest in? 72 00:06:51,779 –> 00:06:53,779 your welfare 73 00:06:54,380 –> 00:06:56,380 Here’s Timothy and what’s 74 00:06:57,399 –> 00:07:00,880 Outstanding about him is that he takes a genuine 75 00:07:01,600 –> 00:07:06,600 Interest in the lives of others if you would have friends. Well the old proverb says 76 00:07:07,559 –> 00:07:10,579 He who would have friends must show himself 77 00:07:12,160 –> 00:07:16,459 Friendly now how many friends do you think you should have? 78 00:07:17,140 –> 00:07:19,040 There’s an interesting question 79 00:07:19,040 –> 00:07:22,459 well, here’s proverbs chapter 18 and verse 24 a 80 00:07:22,980 –> 00:07:24,980 man of many 81 00:07:25,299 –> 00:07:26,559 companions 82 00:07:26,559 –> 00:07:29,019 may come to ruin but 83 00:07:29,619 –> 00:07:33,779 There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother 84 00:07:34,559 –> 00:07:38,220 We’ll come to the last part of that proverb a little later this morning 85 00:07:38,220 –> 00:07:42,179 But I want you to look at the first part a man of many companions 86 00:07:43,679 –> 00:07:45,679 May come to ruin 87 00:07:46,220 –> 00:07:50,200 Now the point here of course is that it is possible in life 88 00:07:51,320 –> 00:07:53,640 to have a very wide circle of 89 00:07:54,399 –> 00:07:56,600 acquaintances or companions and 90 00:07:57,500 –> 00:07:59,679 no real 91 00:07:59,679 –> 00:08:01,579 friends and 92 00:08:01,579 –> 00:08:04,380 you know the higher your profile and 93 00:08:05,059 –> 00:08:07,579 The faster paced your life 94 00:08:08,540 –> 00:08:13,260 The harder it is to make good deep and lasting friendships 95 00:08:14,260 –> 00:08:21,399 You can easily end up with many companions many acquaintances many people that you know, and that know you 96 00:08:22,220 –> 00:08:24,540 but only at the shallowest level and 97 00:08:25,279 –> 00:08:27,279 no real 98 00:08:27,600 –> 00:08:29,140 friends 99 00:08:29,140 –> 00:08:32,200 And then you can find yourself feeling very lonely 100 00:08:33,099 –> 00:08:34,979 in a crowd 101 00:08:34,979 –> 00:08:42,000 So remember the wisdom of proverbs that the quality of your friendships is more important than the quantity 102 00:08:43,359 –> 00:08:47,960 That character among your friends is more important than their number 103 00:08:48,619 –> 00:08:53,020 That depth is more important than breadth 104 00:08:53,880 –> 00:08:57,700 The important question is not how many friends do you have? 105 00:08:58,380 –> 00:09:01,500 But how deep are these friendships? 106 00:09:02,780 –> 00:09:09,640 Now I suppose thinking today about the subject of friends that there’s no place where the word friends is more frequently used today 107 00:09:10,059 –> 00:09:12,059 than in connection with 108 00:09:12,539 –> 00:09:13,559 Facebook 109 00:09:13,559 –> 00:09:17,940 how many friends do you have on Facebook and 110 00:09:18,580 –> 00:09:25,520 I did google this just to check and the average number of friends on Facebook across the world is 111 00:09:27,400 –> 00:09:33,520 380 which since that’s the average means there’s some people at the top end of a very large number of friends 112 00:09:34,440 –> 00:09:36,000 indeed 113 00:09:36,000 –> 00:09:37,020 now 114 00:09:37,020 –> 00:09:42,679 The important thing here in which the word friends has popularly become used in 115 00:09:43,359 –> 00:09:46,659 connection with the widest circle of acquaintances 116 00:09:47,820 –> 00:09:53,960 The important thing here is for us to remember that there are different levels of friendship 117 00:09:55,440 –> 00:09:57,700 You see this in the life of the Lord Jesus 118 00:09:59,159 –> 00:10:01,200 He ministers to the crowd 119 00:10:02,960 –> 00:10:05,979 But then Luke chapter 10 speaks about a 120 00:10:06,799 –> 00:10:10,619 Circle of around 70 who are sent out on a mission? 121 00:10:11,380 –> 00:10:13,539 They’re clearly closer to Jesus 122 00:10:14,500 –> 00:10:16,820 then of course there are the twelve and 123 00:10:17,460 –> 00:10:20,140 even within the twelve there are three 124 00:10:20,820 –> 00:10:25,960 who have the deepest access to Jesus and they of course are Peter and James and 125 00:10:26,419 –> 00:10:27,460 John 126 00:10:27,460 –> 00:10:33,419 They are the ones and the only ones of the disciples who are there when Jesus raises 127 00:10:33,739 –> 00:10:35,739 Jairus daughter from the dead 128 00:10:36,359 –> 00:10:43,159 They’re the only ones who are there with Jesus on the top of the Mountain of Transfiguration where his glory is made known 129 00:10:44,119 –> 00:10:51,219 They are the ones who were invited in the Garden of Gethsemane to come a little further with Jesus and to watch with 130 00:10:51,280 –> 00:10:53,419 him and to pray 131 00:10:55,020 –> 00:10:57,659 Now let me suggest to you we need 132 00:10:58,239 –> 00:11:00,239 different circles or 133 00:11:00,960 –> 00:11:02,960 levels of 134 00:11:03,219 –> 00:11:07,320 Friendship or depth of relationship in our lives 135 00:11:08,280 –> 00:11:10,280 so let’s suppose you have 136 00:11:10,859 –> 00:11:12,840 380 friends on facebook 137 00:11:13,840 –> 00:11:16,039 Who are the 70 in your life? 138 00:11:17,239 –> 00:11:19,239 who are the 12 and 139 00:11:20,419 –> 00:11:22,419 Who are the two or three? 140 00:11:23,440 –> 00:11:26,000 To whom your life is most open 141 00:11:27,320 –> 00:11:29,320 to whom you are the closest 142 00:11:29,900 –> 00:11:31,559 there are 143 00:11:31,559 –> 00:11:34,580 Levels of friendship and to miss that is 144 00:11:35,359 –> 00:11:41,039 To miss the very important principle that is being taught to us here in the book of proverbs 145 00:11:42,479 –> 00:11:46,460 Now what then does it look like to have an inner circle of friends? 146 00:11:46,460 –> 00:11:48,859 What does it look like to have two or three people? 147 00:11:49,679 –> 00:11:52,479 who are really in your life and 148 00:11:53,280 –> 00:11:55,299 Are the very closest to you? 149 00:11:56,239 –> 00:11:57,359 well 150 00:11:57,419 –> 00:12:04,400 Our lord jesus gives us a description of what that looks like. In fact one might even call it a 151 00:12:04,919 –> 00:12:11,159 Definition of true friendship. I wonder if you’ve ever noticed this it’s in John’s gospel in chapter 15 152 00:12:11,159 –> 00:12:14,760 Here are the words of Jesus. He says this no longer 153 00:12:15,520 –> 00:12:17,520 Do I call you servants? 154 00:12:18,159 –> 00:12:24,239 For a servant does not know what his master is doing 155 00:12:25,119 –> 00:12:28,739 But I have called you friends 156 00:12:30,960 –> 00:12:33,479 For now, we’re going to get the explanation 157 00:12:34,159 –> 00:12:37,400 Here’s what it looks like to be a friend of Jesus 158 00:12:38,119 –> 00:12:39,840 for all 159 00:12:39,840 –> 00:12:43,380 That I have heard from my father. I have made known to you 160 00:12:44,840 –> 00:12:49,940 So here is at least a description and probably even a definition of friendship 161 00:12:51,000 –> 00:12:53,000 Jesus is telling us 162 00:12:53,020 –> 00:12:55,159 That his closest friends 163 00:12:55,719 –> 00:13:01,419 are the ones to whom he opens himself up most fully and 164 00:13:02,340 –> 00:13:09,020 The reason that they are his closest friends is that he has made known to them notice the word all 165 00:13:10,280 –> 00:13:12,739 All-that-he-has-heard from the father 166 00:13:13,760 –> 00:13:15,000 Jesus 167 00:13:15,000 –> 00:13:17,000 opens himself up 168 00:13:17,440 –> 00:13:18,940 to his 169 00:13:18,940 –> 00:13:20,940 closest friends 170 00:13:21,159 –> 00:13:27,900 Now from that we can derive this very clear principle that you open your life most fully 171 00:13:28,940 –> 00:13:31,679 To the friends you can trust most 172 00:13:32,520 –> 00:13:33,919 deeply 173 00:13:33,919 –> 00:13:35,919 Open your life most fully 174 00:13:36,260 –> 00:13:43,320 To the friends you can trust most deeply remember Jesus opened his life to people in different degrees 175 00:13:44,539 –> 00:13:45,859 and 176 00:13:45,859 –> 00:13:48,919 If you’re following his example and walking in his way 177 00:13:48,919 –> 00:13:53,260 You will be wise and you will open your life to different people in different degrees 178 00:13:54,679 –> 00:13:57,359 To the crowd he spoke in parables 179 00:13:59,539 –> 00:14:03,739 To Herod who was antagonistic he said nothing at all 180 00:14:06,000 –> 00:14:08,380 To the disciples who were his friends 181 00:14:08,900 –> 00:14:15,640 He opened up all that the father had spoken to him and for this reason 182 00:14:16,400 –> 00:14:18,400 Because of this deep opening of life 183 00:14:19,479 –> 00:14:21,580 He calls them his 184 00:14:22,640 –> 00:14:24,580 friends 185 00:14:24,580 –> 00:14:28,799 How can you have good friends you must seek them intentionally 186 00:14:31,400 –> 00:14:36,940 Then here’s the second thing if you would have good friends you must choose your friends wisely 187 00:14:38,619 –> 00:14:41,859 Here’s a wonderful principle from Proverbs chapter 13 in verse 20 188 00:14:42,080 –> 00:14:46,080 20 Whoever walks with the wise 189 00:14:47,679 –> 00:14:49,679 Becomes wise 190 00:14:50,539 –> 00:14:52,520 But the companion of fools 191 00:14:53,580 –> 00:14:55,659 will suffer 192 00:14:55,659 –> 00:14:57,419 harm 193 00:14:57,419 –> 00:15:02,659 Now here we’re being told very clearly that the people you become closest to 194 00:15:03,080 –> 00:15:06,400 That is the ones that you open your life most fully to 195 00:15:06,919 –> 00:15:12,539 The ones who become your real friends they will have a great influence on your life 196 00:15:13,599 –> 00:15:18,020 The character of those closest to you will rub off on you 197 00:15:18,020 –> 00:15:22,260 that’s a principle that prevails in this world and 198 00:15:23,099 –> 00:15:25,179 the deeper of friendship becomes 199 00:15:26,320 –> 00:15:29,659 the more like your friend you will be 200 00:15:30,580 –> 00:15:36,359 So you will see from that but friendship has the potential to do us great good 201 00:15:37,159 –> 00:15:43,159 And also if we choose the wrong friendships it has the potential to do us great harm 202 00:15:43,940 –> 00:15:49,200 So choose your friends wisely notice that the companion of fools 203 00:15:49,859 –> 00:15:52,219 will suffer harm 204 00:15:53,280 –> 00:15:56,419 That’s the normal pattern that prevails in this world 205 00:15:56,479 –> 00:15:59,340 Bad company ruins good character 206 00:16:00,020 –> 00:16:07,000 And it would be naive for any of us here in the service today to think that we are an exception to that normal 207 00:16:07,179 –> 00:16:09,260 principle that prevails in this world 208 00:16:10,960 –> 00:16:14,320 Now when you grasp this very powerful principle 209 00:16:15,559 –> 00:16:23,700 That the people to whom you give the deepest access into your life will exercise a profound influence in your life 210 00:16:24,219 –> 00:16:27,219 Then you will see that good friends 211 00:16:27,900 –> 00:16:29,219 are a 212 00:16:29,219 –> 00:16:32,719 Wonderful gift and a marvelous blessing 213 00:16:33,659 –> 00:16:36,080 From the Lord think about it whoever 214 00:16:36,900 –> 00:16:38,900 walks with the wise 215 00:16:39,679 –> 00:16:41,679 becomes wise 216 00:16:42,780 –> 00:16:47,820 So get close to the kind of people you want to be like 217 00:16:49,460 –> 00:16:51,460 And then on the other side 218 00:16:52,340 –> 00:16:54,059 Proverbs 219 00:16:54,059 –> 00:16:57,900 exhorts us to exercise great restraint in 220 00:16:58,940 –> 00:17:00,940 Getting too close 221 00:17:01,099 –> 00:17:03,159 To people, you don’t want to become like 222 00:17:04,119 –> 00:17:08,400 for example, did you know Proverbs chapter 22 in verse 24 it says 223 00:17:09,619 –> 00:17:14,040 Make no friendship with a man given to anger 224 00:17:14,140 –> 00:17:21,479 So you see this person and you notice that they are habitually angry given to anger 225 00:17:23,020 –> 00:17:25,140 don’t make that 226 00:17:25,739 –> 00:17:27,739 person your friend 227 00:17:27,819 –> 00:17:32,579 If you give that person deep access into your life, you will become more angry yourself 228 00:17:33,579 –> 00:17:35,800 It will rub off on you 229 00:17:37,760 –> 00:17:42,500 You may of course have to work besides such a person for 20 years of your life 230 00:17:44,199 –> 00:17:48,339 But what Proverbs is saying to you is don’t give him deep access into your heart 231 00:17:50,219 –> 00:17:52,599 Choose your friends wisely and 232 00:17:53,400 –> 00:17:59,439 Of course part of that part of that wisdom is to allow friendships to develop slowly 233 00:18:00,359 –> 00:18:07,359 good friendships are always like fruit that is they take time to grow and they take time to ripen and 234 00:18:08,079 –> 00:18:12,640 Over time you will find that the true character of people 235 00:18:12,760 –> 00:18:15,699 You know begins to emerge and you will begin to discover 236 00:18:15,880 –> 00:18:22,339 the people that you want to become more like and the people that you do not want to become more like and 237 00:18:22,939 –> 00:18:28,040 you will be able to discern if this friendship is one that should go deeper or 238 00:18:28,939 –> 00:18:30,939 if it is not 239 00:18:31,540 –> 00:18:35,260 And almost beware of friendships that seem to spring up very quickly 240 00:18:36,099 –> 00:18:41,359 You remember some friendships, you know, they’re like the plant that gave shades to Jonah 241 00:18:41,359 –> 00:18:46,719 remember Jonah’s plant it sprung up so quickly said oh, this is the most wonderful thing and 242 00:18:47,540 –> 00:18:49,640 Then it whithered as fast as it came up 243 00:18:50,560 –> 00:18:57,839 Now, there are some friendships like that and remember Jonah’s plant and you’ll be warned with regards to the danger of impulsiveness 244 00:18:59,359 –> 00:19:01,359 Choose your friends 245 00:19:02,479 –> 00:19:04,119 wisely 246 00:19:04,119 –> 00:19:10,619 Now what are you to do then if you want to have good friends while you to seek them and to seek them 247 00:19:11,099 –> 00:19:13,079 intentionally 248 00:19:13,079 –> 00:19:15,079 Choose them and choose them wisely 249 00:19:15,699 –> 00:19:21,900 And then of course this very obvious third thing that if you were to have good friends 250 00:19:21,900 –> 00:19:26,880 you must guard the friendships you have carefully remember that a 251 00:19:27,300 –> 00:19:28,859 friendship is a 252 00:19:28,859 –> 00:19:30,859 gift from God a 253 00:19:31,660 –> 00:19:34,119 Good friendship. Therefore should be cherished 254 00:19:35,079 –> 00:19:39,760 It should be guarded it should be protected because if you lose it 255 00:19:41,000 –> 00:19:43,000 is a great loss indeed 256 00:19:43,760 –> 00:19:47,079 Now proverbs commence to us two particular ways for 257 00:19:47,760 –> 00:19:52,319 Guarding good friendships and here we’ll come to at least one of the proverbs 258 00:19:52,319 –> 00:19:55,099 You’ll find in the book of Proverbs. If you haven’t discovered this already 259 00:19:55,099 –> 00:20:01,239 Some of them make you smile and some of them are absolutely hilarious. And here’s one that might at least make you smile 260 00:20:01,880 –> 00:20:03,880 chapter 25 and verse 17 261 00:20:04,160 –> 00:20:11,040 Let your foot be seldom in your neighbour’s house lest he have his fill of you and 262 00:20:11,699 –> 00:20:13,699 hates you 263 00:20:14,380 –> 00:20:19,280 Now you see what is being said here be considerate of your friend’s time 264 00:20:20,619 –> 00:20:25,660 The easiest way to kill a good friendship is to become too demanding 265 00:20:26,900 –> 00:20:31,900 so here is a person who becomes friends with one of his neighbours and 266 00:20:32,540 –> 00:20:33,599 and 267 00:20:33,599 –> 00:20:36,099 the problem is that he then overdoes it 268 00:20:37,000 –> 00:20:39,000 he keeps coming round and 269 00:20:39,660 –> 00:20:42,140 when he does he stays too long and 270 00:20:43,300 –> 00:20:45,300 Eventually the neighbor has had enough 271 00:20:46,380 –> 00:20:50,180 He has notice had his fill of you 272 00:20:51,859 –> 00:20:56,719 The bell goes in the neighbors house and the neighbor says oh not again 273 00:20:56,719 –> 00:20:58,719 Oh 274 00:21:00,219 –> 00:21:05,780 Was showing up on the doorstep, it is just too much and then the friendship becomes 275 00:21:06,859 –> 00:21:08,800 lost 276 00:21:08,800 –> 00:21:12,939 Well Book of Proverbs full of practical wisdom 277 00:21:14,760 –> 00:21:18,459 Now here’s the point to observe here here’s some good news 278 00:21:19,319 –> 00:21:21,319 Isn’t it wonderful? 279 00:21:22,280 –> 00:21:27,780 That you need never worry about wearing out your welcome with God 280 00:21:29,680 –> 00:21:34,520 There will never be a time when you will come to the Lord, and he’ll say I’ve had my fill of you 281 00:21:36,780 –> 00:21:38,920 Charles Bridges says blessed be God 282 00:21:39,939 –> 00:21:44,400 There is no need for this caution or reserve in our approach to him 283 00:21:45,119 –> 00:21:47,760 Our earthly friend may be pressed too far 284 00:21:48,300 –> 00:21:55,920 Human kindness may be worn out by frequent use but never can we come to our heavenly father too often 285 00:21:57,760 –> 00:21:59,760 God will always welcome you 286 00:22:01,140 –> 00:22:07,599 All that the Father gives me Jesus says will come to me and whoever comes to me 287 00:22:08,160 –> 00:22:10,739 I will never drive away 288 00:22:11,479 –> 00:22:13,160 And 289 00:22:13,160 –> 00:22:18,319 Then in guarding your friendships be considerate not only in regards to your friends time 290 00:22:18,319 –> 00:22:21,060 But also in regards to your friends mood 291 00:22:21,599 –> 00:22:24,380 look at this from proverbs 25 and verse 20 292 00:22:25,500 –> 00:22:27,540 whoever sings songs 293 00:22:28,400 –> 00:22:30,500 to a heavy heart is 294 00:22:31,520 –> 00:22:36,560 like one who takes off a garment on a cold day and 295 00:22:37,300 –> 00:22:39,300 like vinegar on 296 00:22:39,339 –> 00:22:41,000 soda 297 00:22:41,000 –> 00:22:45,819 Now here, we have a marvelous description of someone who very simply is 298 00:22:46,619 –> 00:22:49,900 insensitive to the feelings of other people 299 00:22:51,579 –> 00:22:55,680 Here’s someone who has a heavy heart 300 00:22:57,660 –> 00:23:01,579 She’s grieving or maybe she’s depressed and 301 00:23:03,099 –> 00:23:05,099 her so-called friend 302 00:23:05,900 –> 00:23:08,939 Decides to go on a mission to cheer her up 303 00:23:10,500 –> 00:23:16,619 So she arrives at the house and at the top of her voice as it where she’s singing joy to the world right? 304 00:23:17,939 –> 00:23:19,420 and 305 00:23:19,420 –> 00:23:21,420 That isn’t going to work, so well 306 00:23:22,739 –> 00:23:24,739 Notice the effect 307 00:23:25,560 –> 00:23:28,420 singing songs to a heavy heart is like 308 00:23:29,420 –> 00:23:37,060 Taking off a garment on a cold day in other words. This will have a chilling effect on 309 00:23:37,760 –> 00:23:39,760 the friendship 310 00:23:40,020 –> 00:23:43,520 Because the one who has a heavy heart will say you have no idea 311 00:23:44,020 –> 00:23:48,599 About the reality that I am presently facing it will create a distance 312 00:23:49,680 –> 00:23:53,339 So guard your friendship by being sensitive 313 00:23:54,619 –> 00:23:56,619 to the feelings of others 314 00:23:57,000 –> 00:23:58,359 and 315 00:23:58,359 –> 00:24:03,660 more than creating a chill notice the last thing that said in this verse it will produce an 316 00:24:04,099 –> 00:24:07,160 Explosive reaction it is like vinegar on soda 317 00:24:07,699 –> 00:24:12,520 You try this one at home in the kitchen under supervision boys and girls. You know I 318 00:24:13,119 –> 00:24:17,819 Mean if it’s done in a compressed environment. It really will cause an explosion you’ll get a reaction 319 00:24:18,939 –> 00:24:20,939 vinegar on soda 320 00:24:22,180 –> 00:24:24,180 The point here of course is that 321 00:24:24,579 –> 00:24:26,579 Trying to cheer up 322 00:24:27,339 –> 00:24:31,599 By singing hearty songs the insensitivity of that 323 00:24:32,420 –> 00:24:33,660 actually 324 00:24:33,660 –> 00:24:35,180 aggravates 325 00:24:35,180 –> 00:24:40,739 The sorrow of the person who has a heavy heart it actually makes their sorrow worse 326 00:24:42,819 –> 00:24:50,380 So Matthew Henry says we take a wrong course when with them that is with the person of the heavy heart 327 00:24:50,739 –> 00:24:55,920 By being merry with them and endeavoring to make them merry with us 328 00:24:56,619 –> 00:25:00,020 For it adds to their grief 329 00:25:01,219 –> 00:25:04,959 To see their friends so little concern for them so little 330 00:25:05,380 –> 00:25:06,439 understanding 331 00:25:06,439 –> 00:25:10,140 he says it actually aggravates their sorrow and makes them 332 00:25:10,900 –> 00:25:15,260 Harden themselves in sorrow against the assaults of mirth 333 00:25:17,400 –> 00:25:24,199 So if you want to keep your friends be sensitive to their time and be sensitive to their feelings 334 00:25:24,599 –> 00:25:27,439 weep with those who weep 335 00:25:29,140 –> 00:25:32,099 Rejoice with those who rejoice 336 00:25:33,819 –> 00:25:38,660 Now how wonderful it is then that our Lord Jesus Christ knows us completely 337 00:25:39,540 –> 00:25:43,500 Think about this and for anyone who has a heavy heart 338 00:25:45,020 –> 00:25:50,479 Try and take this in the Lord Jesus Christ knows what it is to have a heavy heart 339 00:25:51,380 –> 00:25:53,780 Try and take this in in the Garden of Gethsemane 340 00:26:01,099 –> 00:26:05,579 So if you are overwhelmed by the sense of a heavy heart today 341 00:26:05,579 –> 00:26:11,839 The Lord Jesus Christ is the best friend you can have because he understands and knows you completely he’s been there 342 00:26:13,800 –> 00:26:17,239 He is touched with the feeling of 343 00:26:18,300 –> 00:26:20,300 our infirmities 344 00:26:21,099 –> 00:26:25,040 So guard your friendships by being considerate and 345 00:26:25,780 –> 00:26:29,680 Then the other thing that Proverbs says to us repeatedly is 346 00:26:30,339 –> 00:26:33,780 Guard your friendships by being discrete 347 00:26:34,579 –> 00:26:38,099 two Proverbs here first chapter 16 and verse 28 a 348 00:26:38,619 –> 00:26:41,060 dishonest man’s spread strife and 349 00:26:41,599 –> 00:26:43,599 a whisperer 350 00:26:43,680 –> 00:26:51,380 Separates close friends and that very similar chapter 17 in verse 9 whoever covers an offense 351 00:26:51,699 –> 00:26:58,459 seeks love what a beautiful statement that is whoever covers an offense seeks love but 352 00:26:59,160 –> 00:27:02,500 he who repeats a matter again notice 353 00:27:03,140 –> 00:27:04,300 separates 354 00:27:04,300 –> 00:27:06,300 close friends 355 00:27:06,699 –> 00:27:08,319 so notice 356 00:27:08,319 –> 00:27:10,319 What separates close friends? 357 00:27:10,560 –> 00:27:17,619 Now remember by definition a close friend is someone who has opened their heart up to you 358 00:27:19,180 –> 00:27:21,180 Giving you access 359 00:27:22,000 –> 00:27:25,140 Into the deeper thoughts and feelings of their own heart 360 00:27:26,560 –> 00:27:33,160 There’s a trust that is involved in that relationship. They have given you this access and 361 00:27:33,339 –> 00:27:34,560 And 362 00:27:34,560 –> 00:27:41,380 Nothing kills the trust on which friendship is based more quickly than repeating to others 363 00:27:41,400 –> 00:27:43,560 What was given in private? 364 00:27:44,619 –> 00:27:47,119 conversation by your friend to you 365 00:27:48,880 –> 00:27:53,079 Honor the trust of what was spoken to you by a friend in private 366 00:27:54,680 –> 00:27:57,180 So, how can you have good friends you must seek them 367 00:27:58,119 –> 00:28:07,359 Intentionally, you must choose them wisely and you must guard the friendships that God has given to you 368 00:28:08,119 –> 00:28:10,119 very carefully 369 00:28:11,339 –> 00:28:17,579 Now more briefly, here’s the second thing that I want us to draw from Proverbs today and it’s this question how 370 00:28:18,180 –> 00:28:20,180 You can be a true friend 371 00:28:21,020 –> 00:28:24,800 You read these things in Proverbs and you say, well, how good a friend am I? 372 00:28:25,680 –> 00:28:28,579 How can I become a better friend 373 00:28:29,459 –> 00:28:31,140 to other people 374 00:28:31,140 –> 00:28:37,540 I could of course have framed this as what you should look for in the friendship of others 375 00:28:38,579 –> 00:28:45,020 But the reality is that what we want to receive from others we have to be able to give ourselves 376 00:28:45,579 –> 00:28:51,939 And so the first question is always how can I be a better friend? 377 00:28:52,939 –> 00:28:54,939 To other people and 378 00:28:55,420 –> 00:28:57,420 Proverbs gives us a very simple 379 00:28:58,119 –> 00:29:00,699 profile of the true friend 380 00:29:02,020 –> 00:29:04,020 Let me point this out to you first 381 00:29:04,439 –> 00:29:11,099 You can be a true friend by your presence your presence chapter 27 and verse 10 382 00:29:11,660 –> 00:29:13,660 Do not forsake 383 00:29:13,819 –> 00:29:15,819 your friend and 384 00:29:15,900 –> 00:29:18,160 your father’s friend and 385 00:29:18,380 –> 00:29:22,780 And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity 386 00:29:23,439 –> 00:29:25,760 Better is a neighbor who is near 387 00:29:26,699 –> 00:29:29,540 Than a brother who is far away 388 00:29:31,119 –> 00:29:35,380 Now the contrast here notice is between a neighbor 389 00:29:36,099 –> 00:29:38,099 who is near and 390 00:29:38,119 –> 00:29:43,579 A brother who is far away the word neighbor and the word friend in 391 00:29:44,219 –> 00:29:46,219 Proverbs are often 392 00:29:46,479 –> 00:29:49,819 Interchangeable they’re different translations of the same Hebrew word 393 00:29:50,420 –> 00:29:57,979 so the contrast is between a neighbor or friend who is near to you and a brother who is far from 394 00:29:58,579 –> 00:30:00,400 you and 395 00:30:00,400 –> 00:30:05,199 The point of the proverb very simply is that when the day of calamity comes when you’re in trouble 396 00:30:06,380 –> 00:30:13,640 You can’t simply show up at your brother’s house. If all you have is a very remote or distant relationship with him 397 00:30:14,400 –> 00:30:18,540 What you have to do is cultivate friends who are near 398 00:30:20,040 –> 00:30:25,439 they are the ones to whom you can go in the day of trouble and 399 00:30:26,199 –> 00:30:33,000 These friends may be old friends your father’s friends of course by definition would be folks you have known and have been 400 00:30:33,079 –> 00:30:35,140 interested in you since early years in your life 401 00:30:35,800 –> 00:30:40,479 Or they may be newer friends that you have made in your own adult life 402 00:30:41,239 –> 00:30:45,140 But the friends who are nearly and they may include family of course 403 00:30:45,219 –> 00:30:50,359 But the point is the people who are near the people to whom you have opened your heart the people you walk with 404 00:30:51,780 –> 00:30:59,160 They are the ones who will be there for you when the day of trouble comes a 405 00:31:00,260 –> 00:31:03,920 Good friend here’s the first mark of a good friend a true friend 406 00:31:05,020 –> 00:31:09,439 Will be present in times of trouble there 407 00:31:09,579 –> 00:31:11,579 For you there for you 408 00:31:12,160 –> 00:31:16,800 Which reminds me of the wonderful statement about our Lord in Psalm? 409 00:31:17,060 –> 00:31:19,280 46 God is our 410 00:31:19,819 –> 00:31:21,819 refuge and our strength and 411 00:31:22,219 –> 00:31:23,560 ever 412 00:31:23,560 –> 00:31:25,560 present help in 413 00:31:26,380 –> 00:31:28,380 times of 414 00:31:28,719 –> 00:31:29,979 trouble 415 00:31:29,979 –> 00:31:33,260 you become a good friend by being present and 416 00:31:33,939 –> 00:31:38,239 Especially when things are hard second you can be a good friend by your words 417 00:31:39,180 –> 00:31:44,880 Chapter 27 and verse 9 oil and perfume make the heart glad and 418 00:31:45,859 –> 00:31:51,920 the sweetness of a friend notice that the sweetness of a friend comes 419 00:31:52,819 –> 00:31:54,319 from his 420 00:31:54,319 –> 00:31:55,719 earnest 421 00:31:55,719 –> 00:31:57,000 counsel 422 00:31:57,000 –> 00:31:58,400 in other words 423 00:31:58,400 –> 00:32:05,839 The joy the blessing the sweetness of a really good friend is that you have confidence that this person will 424 00:32:06,180 –> 00:32:08,180 Always do you good? 425 00:32:08,800 –> 00:32:12,520 That the words that come from this person will always 426 00:32:13,079 –> 00:32:15,079 Build you up 427 00:32:15,079 –> 00:32:18,699 You see this in the marvellous friendship between Jonathan and David 428 00:32:19,500 –> 00:32:25,640 Where we’re told that Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in the Lord. That’s what a true friend does 429 00:32:27,119 –> 00:32:30,040 strengthens his hand in the Lord 430 00:32:31,660 –> 00:32:33,660 now because 431 00:32:33,660 –> 00:32:38,880 The true friend who always speaks to do you good that’s his or her sweetness 432 00:32:39,420 –> 00:32:44,699 That’s why it’s a joy to be with them you speak heart to heart and you’re always helped by it 433 00:32:46,719 –> 00:32:51,439 Because this friend has deep access into your life 434 00:32:52,280 –> 00:32:59,520 This friend is able to tell you things that others would not and could not say 435 00:33:00,239 –> 00:33:06,640 And that’s why we read from Chapter 27 in verse 6 faithful are the wounds of 436 00:33:07,380 –> 00:33:09,380 a friend 437 00:33:09,760 –> 00:33:14,699 Because when this friend speaks to you, even if he or she says something 438 00:33:15,500 –> 00:33:18,560 Uncomfortable and hard for you to hear you know 439 00:33:19,380 –> 00:33:26,599 that this person always speaks with love in their heart and always seeks your best interest and 440 00:33:26,939 –> 00:33:31,119 When they speak words the wound it is all was to heal 441 00:33:34,099 –> 00:33:41,319 Do you know we are living in a time you really don’t need me to tell you this where more and more across our culture 442 00:33:43,040 –> 00:33:48,079 People are choosing only to listen to what they want to hear 443 00:33:49,359 –> 00:33:50,680 and 444 00:33:50,680 –> 00:33:57,780 We are seeing in our time one of the distinctives of our time is the emergence of what are described as safe 445 00:33:58,459 –> 00:34:00,459 spaces and 446 00:34:00,579 –> 00:34:08,040 the reason surely that this has become so prominent in our society is that the world has become so 447 00:34:08,419 –> 00:34:10,419 angry 448 00:34:11,419 –> 00:34:15,159 Now friends. This is a world in which we live and in such a world 449 00:34:15,820 –> 00:34:19,540 It is very easy even for Christian people 450 00:34:20,780 –> 00:34:26,520 To filter out from the Bible what we do not want to hear 451 00:34:27,780 –> 00:34:29,780 And you know what if you do that 452 00:34:30,540 –> 00:34:38,139 If you filter out from the Bible what you do not want to hear all your left within the Bible is an 453 00:34:38,159 –> 00:34:40,679 echo of your own voice and 454 00:34:41,620 –> 00:34:43,620 You know what you lose 455 00:34:44,699 –> 00:34:48,199 You lose the friendship of Jesus 456 00:34:48,199 –> 00:34:50,199 You 457 00:34:50,959 –> 00:34:57,540 Lose the sweetness of one who loves you and it’s so close to you that you would allow him to 458 00:34:57,760 –> 00:35:01,739 Speak into your life even when it hurts because you know 459 00:35:01,760 –> 00:35:06,600 He loves you in such a way that even when his word hurts. It is always to heal 460 00:35:09,120–> 00:35:11,399 You can be a good friend by your presence 461 00:35:12,840 –> 00:35:15,080 You can be a good friend by your words 462 00:35:16,080 –> 00:35:23,600 And you can be a good friend by your love chapter 17 in verse 17 a friend loves at all 463 00:35:24,199 –> 00:35:26,199 times and 464 00:35:26,600 –> 00:35:28,600 A brother is born 465 00:35:29,520 –> 00:35:31,520 for adversity 466 00:35:32,040 –> 00:35:35,199 So here by the way, we have a brother who’s not far away 467 00:35:36,239 –> 00:35:43,719 Here’s a brother who really is a true friend you can go to him therefore in time of calamity. He loves at all times 468 00:35:45,840 –> 00:35:47,840 And he is born for 469 00:35:49,120 –> 00:35:51,120 Adversity 470 00:35:51,439 –> 00:35:53,080 So 471 00:35:53,080 –> 00:35:55,840 How can you be a true friend by your presence 472 00:35:57,080 –> 00:35:59,080 by your words and 473 00:35:59,520 –> 00:36:00,879 by the 474 00:36:00,879 –> 00:36:03,979 Consistency of your love you love at all times 475 00:36:06,300 –> 00:36:10,139 Now you say how can I become that kind of friend to other people 476 00:36:10,300 –> 00:36:12,300 If 477 00:36:13,419 –> 00:36:16,959 You are to become that kind of friend to others 478 00:36:18,419 –> 00:36:22,139 You need someone who will be that kind of friend to you 479 00:36:22,860 –> 00:36:23,979 and 480 00:36:23,979 –> 00:36:25,979 If you walk with him 481 00:36:26,719 –> 00:36:28,719 you will become like him and 482 00:36:30,060 –> 00:36:34,540 That is why you should seek the best friend and this is the last thing today 483 00:36:34,540 –> 00:36:39,659 Let’s come back to Proverbs chapter 18 in verse 24. There is a friend 484 00:36:40,260 –> 00:36:42,739 Who sticks closer than a brother? 485 00:36:44,020 –> 00:36:49,679 The Lord Jesus Christ is the best friend you can ever have a 486 00:36:50,699 –> 00:36:57,580 True friend is present and the Lord Jesus Christ will always be with you 487 00:36:58,899 –> 00:37:02,500 Jesus Christ is the only person in all of the world 488 00:37:03,459 –> 00:37:07,280 Who can say to you I will never leave you. I 489 00:37:08,280 –> 00:37:12,320 Will never forsake you I will be with you always 490 00:37:14,840 –> 00:37:17,699 Your best friend in this world 491 00:37:19,360 –> 00:37:24,439 May say to you. I will love you till death parts us 492 00:37:26,100 –> 00:37:31,959 Jesus says to you. I will love you and death will never part us 493 00:37:34,080 –> 00:37:36,320 He will always be present and when 494 00:37:37,120 –> 00:37:43,739 He is done being present with you here. You will be present with him there and 495 00:37:45,959 –> 00:37:49,399 a true friend brings sweet counsel oh 496 00:37:51,260 –> 00:37:53,760 The words of the Lord Jesus are so sweet 497 00:37:56,120 –> 00:38:01,899 When lots of people were leaving Jesus and lots of people are moving away from Jesus today for sure 498 00:38:01,939 –> 00:38:03,699 Jesus 499 00:38:03,699 –> 00:38:06,820 Said to his disciples. What about you? 500 00:38:07,959 –> 00:38:09,959 Do you want to go away? too 501 00:38:10,899 –> 00:38:14,659 And you remember what Peter replied to that. He said Lord to whom shall we go? 502 00:38:16,739 –> 00:38:19,479 Only you have the words of eternal life 503 00:38:21,820 –> 00:38:25,479 That’s why you want Jesus as your friend not only will he be with you always 504 00:38:25,899 –> 00:38:34,419 But the sweetness of his friendship is that he brings you into life itself and 505 00:38:36,760 –> 00:38:41,820 Jesus is the friend who will love you at all times and never let you go 506 00:38:43,139 –> 00:38:46,479 He says I have loved you with an everlasting 507 00:38:47,540 –> 00:38:52,320 Love think about this. He’s loved you with an everlasting love. That means 508 00:38:52,959 –> 00:38:59,800 That before the world was created. He knew that one day you would be and he loved you even then 509 00:39:01,139 –> 00:39:06,939 And he will love you forever. His love had no beginning and his love has no ended is eternal as 510 00:39:07,899 –> 00:39:13,459 God himself is eternal the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases 511 00:39:14,760 –> 00:39:18,899 His mercy’s never come to an end. They are new every morning 512 00:39:18,919 –> 00:39:23,100 Great is your faithfulness. Oh Lord great is your faithfulness 513 00:39:23,100 –> 00:39:28,260 So consider friends what a friend Jesus can be to you 514 00:39:29,300 –> 00:39:34,120 It was love that caused him to come into the world in order to take his stand with us in our 515 00:39:34,679 –> 00:39:40,899 Adversity he came from far in order to bring us near and to make us his friends 516 00:39:41,100 –> 00:39:42,679 To make us his friends 517 00:39:42,679 –> 00:39:50,100 it was love that caused him to take our human flesh to enter into even what it means to have the 518 00:39:50,479 –> 00:39:52,479 heavy heart and 519 00:39:53,780 –> 00:39:58,199 Then to go all the way to the cross in order to give his life for greater 520 00:39:58,399 –> 00:40:05,100 Love has no one than this than that a man should lay down his life 521 00:40:06,280 –> 00:40:08,280 for his friends 522 00:40:08,860 –> 00:40:11,360 For his friends and 523 00:40:12,159 –> 00:40:14,159 Now in heaven 524 00:40:14,159 –> 00:40:16,159 he intercedes for you 525 00:40:16,840 –> 00:40:18,860 Which means that you have unrestricted 526 00:40:20,100 –> 00:40:25,360 Access you will never wear out your welcome with God 527 00:40:27,060 –> 00:40:30,639 So I say to you today open your life most fully 528 00:40:31,399 –> 00:40:32,639 to the 529 00:40:32,639 –> 00:40:36,899 Friend you can trust most deeply and here’s the thing 530 00:40:37,379 –> 00:40:42,260 the deeper your friendship with Jesus becomes the more like Jesus you will be 531 00:40:44,020 –> 00:40:50,120 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise whoever walks with Jesus 532 00:40:51,820 –> 00:40:53,820 Becomes like Jesus 533 00:40:54,580 –> 00:40:59,020 There is a friend who loves at all times a 534 00:41:00,020 –> 00:41:03,260 Friend who sticks closer than a brother and 535 00:41:04,340 –> 00:41:06,340 his name is 536 00:41:06,899 –> 00:41:08,219 Jesus 537 00:41:08,219 –> 00:41:10,219 Let’s pray together 538 00:41:10,780 –> 00:41:14,560 Father we are in awe of such a friend and 539 00:41:16,239 –> 00:41:20,000 That he should be your own Son 540 00:41:22,320 –> 00:41:27,659 Causes us to bow with worship and love and gratitude and praise 541 00:41:29,020 –> 00:41:33,139 Help us to open our lives most fully 542 00:41:34,639 –> 00:41:36,639 To Thee friend 543 00:41:37,639 –> 00:41:39,639 Who loves us most deeply 544 00:41:40,800 –> 00:41:42,800 Jesus Christ our Lord 545 00:41:43,419 –> 00:41:45,419 In his wonderful name we pray 546 00:41:46,620 –> 00:41:48,620 Amen