Guilt and Grievance

Lamentations 1
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Pastor Colin Smith focuses on two new themes from Lamentations: guilt and grievance. Pastor Colin contrasts the book with the story of Job, noting that while guilt has no part in Job’s suffering (as he was blameless), it is a central theme in Lamentations. He suggests that most people’s experience of grief includes some form of guilt, often accompanied by questions of “what if” and “if only.”

Pastor Colin distinguishes between false guilt (taking responsibility for something beyond one’s control) and true guilt (shunning responsibility for one’s calling or God’s command). He encourages dealing with guilt, whether false or true, through confession and placing it under the blood of Christ, as His sacrifice cleanses the conscience.

On the theme of grievance, Pastor Colin notes that grief often comes with a sense of grievance, whether towards others or towards God. Using examples from Lamentations and the New Testament, he highlights that such grievances are best brought directly before God, as modeled in scripture. He advises against complaining behind God’s back and instead recommends honest articulation of grievances in God’s presence as a path to healing.

1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:07,100 You are listening to a sermon from Pastor Colin Smith of Open the Bible. 2 00:00:07,100 –> 00:00:15,640 To contact us, call us at 1-877-OPEN-365 or visit our website openthebible.org 3 00:00:15,640 –> 00:00:17,760 Let’s get to the message. 4 00:00:17,760 –> 00:00:19,340 Here is Pastor Colin. 5 00:00:19,340 –> 00:00:27,280 This is week two in our four-week series in Lamentations, entitled For All who Grieve. 6 00:00:27,280 –> 00:00:34,880 We saw last week that grief at its heart is about the desolation that comes when we lose 7 00:00:34,880 –> 00:00:37,740 something or someone that we love. 8 00:00:37,740 –> 00:00:43,220 It can happen in multiple ways in the course of a person’s life. 9 00:00:43,220 –> 00:00:49,820 It’s sure a place where all of us will be, not one, but more than one time in our lives. 10 00:00:49,820 –> 00:00:56,139 And therefore it’s of great significance that God has given to us an entire book of 11 00:00:56,160 –> 00:01:06,260 the Bible that teaches us about how to navigate the valley of sorrow and of loss. 12 00:01:06,260 –> 00:01:10,620 And we began last week, we are looking at the main themes of the book of Lamentations. 13 00:01:10,620 –> 00:01:14,360 We began last week by looking at tears and talk. 14 00:01:14,360 –> 00:01:19,199 We saw that Lamentations is a book that is soaked in tears. 15 00:01:20,180 –> 00:01:27,339 Now think about this, we know that all Scripture is given by the inspiration of God, by the 16 00:01:27,339 –> 00:01:33,139 movement of the Spirit of God in those who actually penned the scripture. 17 00:01:33,139 –> 00:01:40,779 That means that Jeremiah’s tears that are reflected in this book were tears that were 18 00:01:40,779 –> 00:01:46,940 produced by the working of the Holy Spirit of God in his heart, in some profound sense 19 00:01:46,940 –> 00:01:47,940 then. 20 00:01:47,940 –> 00:01:54,959 The tears that are here in the book of Lamentations are tears that actually come from the throne 21 00:01:54,959 –> 00:01:55,959 of God. 22 00:01:55,959 –> 00:01:59,559 It’s worth pondering. 23 00:01:59,559 –> 00:02:02,459 That’s why it’s very significant that this book is in the Bible. 24 00:02:02,459 –> 00:02:09,520 It teaches us among many other things that no Christian should ever be ashamed of his 25 00:02:09,520 –> 00:02:12,460 or her tears. 26 00:02:12,479 –> 00:02:17,919 I’ve received some moving emails this week from folks in the congregation. 27 00:02:17,919 –> 00:02:22,139 One person in the congregation wrote to me, and I quote with her permission, 28 00:02:22,139 –> 00:02:28,080 I was eager to hear this series because we’ve gone through loss. 29 00:02:28,080 –> 00:02:30,779 I’ve had two miscarriages. 30 00:02:30,779 –> 00:02:35,520 I’ve only shared this with those close to me. 31 00:02:35,520 –> 00:02:41,559 I think women often feel that they can’t share this pain and they feel like they have 32 00:02:41,559 –> 00:02:44,860 to grieve in silence. 33 00:02:44,860 –> 00:02:49,960 I too felt like the woman you referred to, who felt that she had to be strong and hold 34 00:02:49,960 –> 00:02:55,300 things together, and if she didn’t, she would not be a faithful Christian. 35 00:02:55,300 –> 00:03:02,520 It was good to hear that it’s okay to cry, and to know what the scripture says about 36 00:03:02,520 –> 00:03:03,580 our tears. 37 00:03:03,580 –> 00:03:07,380 That’s one of the great values of this book, isn’t it? 38 00:03:07,539 –> 00:03:12,619 God has given us a book in the Bible that actually validates our tears when we come 39 00:03:12,619 –> 00:03:15,339 to sorrow and loss. 40 00:03:15,339 –> 00:03:21,179 And we remembered last time, God gave you tear ducts for a reason. 41 00:03:21,179 –> 00:03:28,259 Then we focused last time not only on tears, but also on talk, and the very significant 42 00:03:28,259 –> 00:03:33,600 fact that lamentation very simply puts sorrow and grief into words. 43 00:03:33,699 –> 00:03:38,380 It is an expression of sorrow and of grief. 44 00:03:38,380 –> 00:03:45,800 It pours out in the presence of God the feelings that are accompanied with the loss that these 45 00:03:45,800 –> 00:03:48,720 people have experienced that we looked at last time. 46 00:03:48,720 –> 00:03:55,979 Here are people who are trying to make a life in the ruins of the once great city of God. 47 00:03:55,979 –> 00:04:02,320 And what pours out of them is this articulation, these words of sorrow and of loss. 48 00:04:02,339 –> 00:04:09,320 And we saw how wonderful it is then that we have a Savior who is known as the man of sorrows. 49 00:04:09,320 –> 00:04:15,580 That he is acquainted with grief, and therefore he is supremely the one to whom we can come 50 00:04:15,580 –> 00:04:22,700 and we can speak out all that goes with sorrow and loss. 51 00:04:22,700 –> 00:04:26,019 So that was tears and talk last time. 52 00:04:26,019 –> 00:04:32,179 Today I want to focus on another pair of themes that run all the way through the book of Lamentations 53 00:04:32,420 –> 00:04:35,320 and these are guilt and grievance. 54 00:04:35,320 –> 00:04:39,600 Now let’s start then with this very important subject of guilt. 55 00:04:39,600 –> 00:04:49,679 Now I want you to see that God has given to us not one, but two whole books of the Bible 56 00:04:49,679 –> 00:04:54,980 that deal with the subject of suffering, grief and loss. 57 00:04:54,980 –> 00:04:58,320 One of these, of course, is the book of Lamentations that we are looking at here. 58 00:04:58,420 –> 00:05:01,559 The other is the book of Job. 59 00:05:01,559 –> 00:05:09,799 Now, why would God have given us two books on this one subject in the Scripture? 60 00:05:09,799 –> 00:05:15,660 Well it’s very important to observe the differences between these two books, because they speak 61 00:05:15,660 –> 00:05:22,239 to different scenarios and it’s very important to observe the differences. 62 00:05:22,239 –> 00:05:26,339 Never more so than in relation to the subject of guilt. 63 00:05:26,339 –> 00:05:34,339 Now guilt, as you will remember, plays absolutely no part whatsoever in the book or the story 64 00:05:34,339 –> 00:05:35,940 of Job. 65 00:05:35,940 –> 00:05:39,320 Job was a righteous man. 66 00:05:39,320 –> 00:05:44,339 The very first verse of the book of Job tells us he was blameless, he was upright, he feared 67 00:05:44,339 –> 00:05:46,940 God and he turned away from evil. 68 00:05:46,940 –> 00:05:52,100 That’s four statements that right at the beginning say whatever happened to Job was nothing to 69 00:05:52,100 –> 00:05:54,000 do with sin in his life. 70 00:05:54,100 –> 00:05:56,200 He was a blameless and an upright man. 71 00:05:56,200 –> 00:05:59,799 That’s very, very clear from the very first verse. 72 00:05:59,799 –> 00:06:05,619 Of course, his friends didn’t believe that, and the whole story evolves as his friends 73 00:06:05,619 –> 00:06:10,359 come along and they’re convinced in their mind that God brings good to those who are 74 00:06:10,359 –> 00:06:14,720 good and brings trouble to those who are wicked and therefore because trouble has come to 75 00:06:14,720 –> 00:06:19,480 Job that must de facto mean that there’s some secret, hidden sin in his life. 76 00:06:19,480 –> 00:06:23,619 And so they come and they sit with him, that was good, but then they come to him and they 77 00:06:23,640 –> 00:06:27,200 Well, why don’t you just confess. 78 00:06:27,200 –> 00:06:31,079 Obviously because this is happening to you, there must be some secret sin that we don’t 79 00:06:31,079 –> 00:06:32,260 know about, that’s at the root. 80 00:06:32,260 –> 00:06:33,859 Why don’t you just own up to it? 81 00:06:33,859 –> 00:06:38,059 Why don’t you tell us the truth, there must be something. 82 00:06:38,059 –> 00:06:39,700 And this goes on and on and on. 83 00:06:39,700 –> 00:06:41,480 Job protests his innocence. 84 00:06:41,480 –> 00:06:45,260 He says, no, I’m in the right, chapter 9 in verse 15. 85 00:06:45,260 –> 00:06:50,299 He says, I’m blameless, chapter 9 in verse 20 and verse 21. 86 00:06:50,359 –> 00:06:56,119 And you remember that at the end of the story of Job, very significantly, God stands with 87 00:06:56,119 –> 00:06:59,799 Job and not with his friends. 88 00:06:59,799 –> 00:07:07,660 And God says to Eliphaz, chapter 42 and verse 7, my anger burns against you and the friends. 89 00:07:07,660 –> 00:07:14,059 For you have not spoken of me what is right, as has my servant Job. 90 00:07:14,059 –> 00:07:16,820 Job has spoken faithfully about me. 91 00:07:16,820 –> 00:07:22,660 You and your friends, God says to Eliphaz, have misrepresented me, because you’ve been 92 00:07:22,660 –> 00:07:28,820 so convinced that at the root of every suffering there must be some sin that is its’ god’s. 93 00:07:28,820 –> 00:07:37,100 Walter Kaiser says, one of the harshest things, one of the harshest things that we mortals 94 00:07:37,100 –> 00:07:45,640 can ever impose on one another is the flippant way in which we can automatically assume that 95 00:07:45,700 –> 00:07:51,119 any pain, anguish, or suffering visited on another person must be the result of that 96 00:07:51,119 –> 00:07:59,720 person’s sin. And, you know, it happens. It happened in John chapter 9, and as I was 97 00:07:59,720 –> 00:08:04,519 thinking about this, I thought, yes, yes the Pharisees did this with regards to the blind 98 00:08:04,519 –> 00:08:10,239 man, and as I looked it up just to check the reference in John 9, I was struck by the fact 99 00:08:10,279 –> 00:08:16,739 in the Pharisees it was the disciples of Jesus. John chapter 9, in verse 1 says, 100 00:08:16,739 –> 00:08:26,559 His disciples asked Him, Rabbi, who sinned? Was it this man, or was his parents, that he 101 00:08:26,559 –> 00:08:35,559 was born blind? And Jesus answered, it was not that this man sinned or that his parents 102 00:08:36,159 –> 00:08:47,280 sinned, but that the works of God might be displayed in Him. In other words, Jesus says, 103 00:08:47,280 –> 00:08:52,500 if you think that all grief lost suffering is related to personal sin, you’re completely 104 00:08:52,500 –> 00:08:58,820 wrong. There is a kind of suffering that comes in the world in which the purpose of God is 105 00:08:58,820 –> 00:09:04,419 the display of His glory. It’s an amazing thing when that happens. Of course, that’s 106 00:09:04,440 –> 00:09:10,719 what happened in the story of Job. When he suffered, the glory of God was revealed to 107 00:09:10,719 –> 00:09:17,880 him. So he said, you know, I’ve heard with my ear, but now I see with my eye. Not only 108 00:09:17,880 –> 00:09:22,080 is the glory of God revealed to him, the glory of God was revealed in him and the glory of 109 00:09:22,080 –> 00:09:27,059 God was revealed through him. So that down through the generations, God has used that 110 00:09:27,179 –> 00:09:34,659 man’s testimony and suffering for the strengthening and the comforting of millions. 111 00:09:34,659 –> 00:09:46,719 So guilt plays no part in the story of Job. But God’s given us two books. Guilt is written 112 00:09:46,719 –> 00:09:52,479 all over the book of Lamentations and I want you to see this. As we turn to Lamentations 113 00:09:52,479 –> 00:09:56,780 now, let me give you six references. I’ll give them in quick succession. So again, if 114 00:09:56,780 –> 00:10:01,000 you’re taking notes you might just want to take the reference rather than try to write 115 00:10:01,000 –> 00:10:09,359 all of these down. But let’s begin with chapter 1 and verse 18. The Lord is in the right for 116 00:10:09,359 –> 00:10:14,619 I have rebelled against Him. That’s a very opposite of what we find in Job. So it’s a 117 00:10:14,619 –> 00:10:18,099 totally different situation we’re dealing with here. 118 00:10:18,099 –> 00:10:23,960 Chapter one in verse 20, Look oh Lord, for I am in distress. My stomach churns. My heart 119 00:10:23,979 –> 00:10:33,539 is wrong within me. Why? Because I have been very rebellious. Chapter one verse 22. Deal 120 00:10:33,559 –> 00:10:43,840 with them as you have dealt with me because of all my transgressions. Or chapter 3 and 121 00:10:43,840 –> 00:10:50,840 verse 42. We have transgressed and we have rebelled and you have not forgiven. Or chapter 122 00:10:51,260 –> 00:10:58,260 4 and verse 13. This was for the sins of her prophets and the iniquities of her priests 123 00:11:00,400 –> 00:11:06,559 who shed in the midst of her the blood of the righteous. Or chapter 4 and verse 42. 124 00:11:06,559 –> 00:11:14,400 The punishment of your iniquity, O daughter of Zion, is accomplished. So you can see immediately 125 00:11:14,559 –> 00:11:18,140 that this is a theme that runs all the way through the book, and it could not be more 126 00:11:18,159 –> 00:11:23,919 opposite from what we find in the book of Job. They are describing entirely different 127 00:11:23,919 –> 00:11:33,000 situations. Lamentations is like the thief on the cross, who you remember said, we are 128 00:11:33,000 –> 00:11:42,580 getting what our deeds deserve. That confession is all over the book of Lamentations. So Job 129 00:11:42,780 –> 00:11:52,739 and Lamentations are kind of like book ends on the spectrum of guilt in the experience 130 00:11:52,739 –> 00:12:00,900 of grief and loss. In Job, guilt plays absolutely no part at all. In Lamentations it is all 131 00:12:00,900 –> 00:12:07,940 over the place. Now let me suggest this to you. 132 00:12:07,979 –> 00:12:17,440 Most of us in our experience of grief, sorrow and loss will experience something between 133 00:12:17,440 –> 00:12:30,179 the book of Job and the book of Lamentations. Grief usually comes with some guilt attached. 134 00:12:30,179 –> 00:12:40,359 What should I have done that I didn’t do? What did I do that I should not have done? 135 00:12:40,359 –> 00:12:50,700 Grief invariably has its what ifs and its if only, if only I had done this or if only 136 00:12:50,700 –> 00:12:58,599 I had not done that. If only I had called the doctor sooner. If only I had visited my 137 00:12:58,900 –> 00:13:06,840 loved one when I could. If only we had not planned that trip. If only we had not argued 138 00:13:06,840 –> 00:13:13,200 as we did. I should have done more and there were things looking back now that I could 139 00:13:13,200 –> 00:13:18,659 have done and I could have done them differently and if I had done what I didn’t do it might 140 00:13:18,659 –> 00:13:23,460 have made all the difference in the world, you know. 141 00:13:23,460 –> 00:13:33,140 A brief person will also often find that things that were said and done years ago suddenly 142 00:13:33,140 –> 00:13:39,640 come back to mind and bring a fresh guilt even though they had been long forgotten. 143 00:13:39,640 –> 00:13:45,780 Harsh words that you spoke perhaps a long time ago, and now the memory of them comes 144 00:13:45,780 –> 00:13:50,739 back now that the person has gone and, oh, you wish you had never said that. How could 145 00:13:51,640 –> 00:13:58,640 that be? Foolish things you did – oh, I was such a fool when I was young! Dr. Packer 146 00:13:59,599 –> 00:14:06,599 puts it this way, old guilts and neglects come back to mind. Thoughts of what we could 147 00:14:06,739 –> 00:14:13,739 and should have done differently and better come hammering at our hearts like battering 148 00:14:14,619 –> 00:14:21,619 rams. Now, that’s part of the experience of grief. 149 00:14:23,320 –> 00:14:29,760 Sometimes there are issues directly related to the death of a loved one. A loyal spouse 150 00:14:29,760 –> 00:14:36,760 keeps watch for days by a bedside, then steps out of the room for an hour or two and then 151 00:14:37,520 –> 00:14:48,599 cannot forgive himself or herself that they were not there at the end. 152 00:14:50,320 –> 00:14:52,299 Then, of course, on top of the 153 00:14:52,299 –> 00:14:59,159 what ifs, and the if onlys, there’s this whole horrible matter of the sense of unfinished 154 00:14:59,719 –> 00:15:06,619 business. Especially if a loss has come suddenly and unexpectedly, and there was not the chance 155 00:15:06,700 –> 00:15:12,099 to prepare for it. We never had the chance to say goodbye. 156 00:15:13,820 –> 00:15:20,359 So, grief usually comes with guilt attached. 157 00:15:22,159 –> 00:15:28,700 And, if the only book in the Bible that dealt with suffering was one in which the sufferer was able 158 00:15:28,700 –> 00:15:35,299 to say, I am blameless and I am innocent, then we would be lacking something we desperately, 159 00:15:35,500 –> 00:15:41,659 desperately need in the Bible, and that we find in the book of Lamentations. 160 00:15:43,599 –> 00:15:49,260 Now, there is a very important distinction, of which all of you surely will be aware, 161 00:15:49,260 –> 00:15:55,260 between false guilt and true guilt. Let me try and distinguish them for you. 162 00:15:55,460 –> 00:16:00,340 False guilt comes when we take responsibility 163 00:16:00,340 –> 00:16:04,780 for something that was not our calling, or was not under our control. 164 00:16:04,780 –> 00:16:09,260 That’s what false guilt is. It’s when we take responsibility for something 165 00:16:09,260 –> 00:16:13,500 that was not our calling, or was not under our control. 166 00:16:13,500 –> 00:16:18,500 True guilt, in contrast, is when we shirk responsibility 167 00:16:18,500 –> 00:16:24,440 for something that is our calling, or is something that is the command of God. 168 00:16:24,440 –> 00:16:28,739 When we shirk responsibility for something that is our calling, 169 00:16:28,739 –> 00:16:35,059 or that is the command of God. Now the answer, in the first instance, 170 00:16:35,059 –> 00:16:46,159 to false guilt is truth. The answer to true guilt is, grace. 171 00:16:46,159 –> 00:16:50,000 Therefore, how wonderful it is that our Lord Jesus Christ is 172 00:16:50,000 –> 00:16:57,359 full of, say it with me, grace and truth. In other words, in the Lord Jesus Christ, 173 00:16:57,359 –> 00:17:03,460 there is everything that is needed for dealing with guilt, whether it be false guilt or whether 174 00:17:03,460 –> 00:17:08,719 it be true. But here’s the thing that I have observed 175 00:17:08,719 –> 00:17:16,599 over the years as a pastor, and you may have observed it and experienced it as well, sometimes 176 00:17:16,599 –> 00:17:24,560 it isn’t so easy to tell the difference between true guilt and false guilt. And so Here’s 177 00:17:24,560 –> 00:17:33,359 what often happens, a grieving person feels a weight of guilt. It runs deep. It isn’t 178 00:17:33,359 –> 00:17:40,540 easy for her or for him to speak about it. But when he or she does, the person who is 179 00:17:40,540 –> 00:17:46,819 close to them says, Now look, that’s false guilt and you need to be done with it. And 180 00:17:46,819 –> 00:17:51,920 that wasn’t your responsibility, and so forth, and so on. 181 00:17:51,920 –> 00:18:01,979 Now here’s what I’ve observed. Sometimes that doesn’t really help. Here’s why. Even if the 182 00:18:01,979 –> 00:18:13,020 guilt is without foundation, it is very real to the bereaved person. Simply to say to a 183 00:18:13,060 –> 00:18:18,719 person on whom this weight continues to rest, well you know, there’s nothing for you to feel 184 00:18:18,719 –> 00:18:27,660 guilty about here. It doesn’t actually remove or bring help to the problem. I have found that 185 00:18:27,660 –> 00:18:37,000 when a person struggles with what may indeed be false guilt, and continues to struggle with it 186 00:18:37,000 –> 00:18:42,900 over a period of time so that it’s not relieve, and there are situations where people struggle 187 00:18:42,900 –> 00:18:48,699 with this for years and it just gets pressed down and pressed down because the only answer 188 00:18:48,699 –> 00:18:52,239 that’s ever given is, that’s false guilt. You should be moving on from it by now. 189 00:18:52,239 –> 00:18:57,859 Sometimes it may be more helpful to say something like this and I do hope and pray 190 00:18:57,859 –> 00:19:04,599 that this will be useful to some in the congregation this morning. Let’s put the 191 00:19:04,599 –> 00:19:11,920 discussion of what’s true guilt and what’s false guilt to one side. The point is that 192 00:19:12,239 –> 00:19:21,579 what you are experiencing is real. Your conscience is burdened. You believe that there is something 193 00:19:21,579 –> 00:19:28,579 that you should have done and didn’t do or did not do and should have done. If this were 194 00:19:28,579 –> 00:19:38,439 indeed true guilt, what would you do with it? Well the answer is obvious. I would confess 195 00:19:38,479 –> 00:19:48,000 it and I would place it under the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. If that’s what you 196 00:19:48,000 –> 00:19:54,180 would do with real guilt, let’s do that with this right now. 197 00:19:54,180 –> 00:20:01,180 Now here is my basis for this friends. Christ offered himself not only that your sins may 198 00:20:01,880 –> 00:20:08,839 be forgiven but he shed his blood the book of Hebrews tells us, so that your conscience 199 00:20:08,839 –> 00:20:15,579 should be cleansed. You find this in Hebrews chapter 9 and verse 14 and chapter 10 and 200 00:20:15,579 –> 00:20:22,579 verse 22. The blood of Jesus Christ was shed so that your conscience should be cleansed. 201 00:20:22,660 –> 00:20:29,660 So your conscience should be cleansed. That means that you can bring your what ifs and 202 00:20:31,239 –> 00:20:37,920 your if onlys and your if I had done or not done this that or the other, things might 203 00:20:37,920 –> 00:20:44,920 have been so different from what they are now, you can bring this to God. If it weighs 204 00:20:45,819 –> 00:20:52,800 on your conscience as sin, bring it to God in confession and place it under the blood 205 00:20:53,219 –> 00:20:59,280 of the Lord, Jesus Christ. You know confession is the most wonderful gift when you know that 206 00:20:59,280 –> 00:21:06,280 grace is waiting for you on the other side. I want to commend this to you. I want to say 207 00:21:07,239 –> 00:21:13,079 to you that if your conscience is burdened here is what you can do, get out in words 208 00:21:13,119 –> 00:21:18,520 as lamentations teaches us to get out in words, exactly what it is that you think you should 209 00:21:18,520 –> 00:21:23,520 have done or should not have done, get that and get it out in full and then bring it to 210 00:21:23,520 –> 00:21:30,199 God. Say it to God. Tell him how deeply you are grieved that you did or did not do these 211 00:21:30,199 –> 00:21:37,199 things or said or did not say these things. Confess it, repent of it, place it under the 212 00:21:37,520 –> 00:21:43,900 blood of Christ and then trust. Trust this Lord Jesus Christ to do what he has promised, 213 00:21:43,900 –> 00:21:50,900 which is not only to forgive your sins, it is also to cleanse your conscience so that 214 00:21:50,959 –> 00:21:56,479 you may again know the wonderful gift of being at peace. 215 00:21:56,479 –> 00:22:01,959 Friends, you can do this on your own. It might be something that you would want to 216 00:22:02,140 –> 00:22:09,000 do in the company of a friend who understands where you are at and can support you in it. 217 00:22:09,000 –> 00:22:14,300 You must be the one who maker the confession, you must bring this prayer to God, but someone 218 00:22:14,300 –> 00:22:19,819 can be with you, could ask one of the pastors to help you with this. 219 00:22:19,819 –> 00:22:26,819 But I want to press this upon you, don’t live with a burden of guilt that is hanging around 220 00:22:26,839 –> 00:22:33,839 your neck, the Son of God suffered and died not only that your sins may be forgiven, but 221 00:22:36,180 –> 00:22:39,939 that your conscience may be cleansed. 222 00:22:39,939 –> 00:22:46,099 That is the first thing, and it is a theme of huge importance when it comes to areas 223 00:22:46,099 –> 00:22:53,099 of loss how we deal with those awful experiences of guilt. 224 00:22:53,579 –> 00:22:57,239 It’s addressed here in the book of Lamentations. 225 00:22:57,239 –> 00:22:59,900 Second, is the issue of grievance. 226 00:22:59,900 –> 00:23:02,660 The issue of grievance. 227 00:23:02,660 –> 00:23:08,520 Grief comes with guilt attached, and grief comes often with grievance attached. 228 00:23:08,520 –> 00:23:13,599 I’ve actually thought about this, but the word grief and grievance are so obviously 229 00:23:13,599 –> 00:23:14,420 evenly related. 230 00:23:14,420 –> 00:23:16,619 Why do they come from the same route? 231 00:23:17,140 –> 00:23:23,180 Because where there’s grief there very, very often is grievance. 232 00:23:23,459 –> 00:23:28,140 Of course the relationship between guilt and grievance is very obvious. 233 00:23:28,140 –> 00:23:34,380 Guilt relates to what you did or didn’t do that you regret, and grievance relates to 234 00:23:34,380 –> 00:23:36,859 what other people did or didn’t do. 235 00:23:36,859 –> 00:23:39,979 If he hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be in this position. 236 00:23:39,979 –> 00:23:45,239 If she had done something else that she failed to do, I wouldn’t be in this position. 237 00:23:45,239 –> 00:23:48,680 That’s the world of grievance. 238 00:23:48,680 –> 00:23:57,060 Grievance can be towards another person, and sometimes grievance is towards God himself. 239 00:23:57,060 –> 00:24:02,939 That’s the issue that is taken up most clearly and directly in the book of Lamentations. 240 00:24:02,939 –> 00:24:08,839 There are actually three kinds of grievance that are addressed in this book. 241 00:24:08,839 –> 00:24:13,119 One is there is a grievance of the people towards the leaders who failed them. 242 00:24:13,119 –> 00:24:17,280 A couple of references to the prophets and the priests who had abandoned their calling 243 00:24:17,280 –> 00:24:19,099 from God. 244 00:24:19,099 –> 00:24:23,939 There of course are references that are grievances towards the enemies who had attacked them 245 00:24:23,939 –> 00:24:27,619 and had done such devastating things. 246 00:24:27,619 –> 00:24:36,160 But by far the focus of what we have here in Lamentations is on the issue of grievance 247 00:24:36,160 –> 00:24:38,739 that is directed towards God himself. 248 00:24:38,739 –> 00:24:41,719 Now I want to show you this from chapter two. 249 00:24:41,920 –> 00:24:43,800 I hope you have your Bible open with you. 250 00:24:43,800 –> 00:24:49,959 I’m going to read the first five verses of chapter two. 251 00:24:49,959 –> 00:24:55,939 I want you to notice with me that in five verses there are seventeen expressions of 252 00:24:55,939 –> 00:24:58,300 grievance against God. 253 00:24:58,300 –> 00:25:00,020 Seventeen. 254 00:25:00,020 –> 00:25:01,400 In five verses. 255 00:25:01,400 –> 00:25:03,099 That’s a lot. 256 00:25:03,099 –> 00:25:09,819 And you will see it because what is expressed is expressed against the Lord and then the 257 00:25:09,819 –> 00:25:14,140 word he with reference to the Lord comes again and again and again. 258 00:25:14,140 –> 00:25:18,619 You can check my arithmetic and see if the three references to the Lord and the others 259 00:25:18,619 –> 00:25:23,319 to he total up to seventeen, but get the weight of this. 260 00:25:23,319 –> 00:25:25,339 Chapter two, verse one. 261 00:25:25,339 –> 00:25:31,859 How the Lord, in his anger, has set the daughter of Zion under a cloud. 262 00:25:31,859 –> 00:25:33,079 That’s one grievance. 263 00:25:33,079 –> 00:25:37,619 He has cast down from heaven to earth the splendor of Israel. 264 00:25:37,619 –> 00:25:38,900 That’s a second grievance. 265 00:25:38,900 –> 00:25:42,900 He has not remembered his footstool in the day of anger. 266 00:25:42,900 –> 00:25:44,660 That’s a third grievance. 267 00:25:44,660 –> 00:25:45,680 Verse two. 268 00:25:45,680 –> 00:25:50,540 The Lord has swallowed up without mercy all the inhabitants of Jacob in his wrath. 269 00:25:50,540 –> 00:25:54,339 He has broken down the strongholds of the daughter of Judah. 270 00:25:54,339 –> 00:25:59,140 He has brought down to the ground in dishonour the kingdom and its rulers. 271 00:25:59,140 –> 00:26:00,140 Verse three. 272 00:26:00,140 –> 00:26:03,939 He has cut down in fierce anger all the might of Israel. 273 00:26:03,939 –> 00:26:08,439 He has withdrawn from them his right hand in the face of the enemy. 274 00:26:08,439 –> 00:26:13,599 He has burned like a flaming fire in Jacob, consuming all around. 275 00:26:13,599 –> 00:26:15,099 Verse four. 276 00:26:15,099 –> 00:26:20,339 He has bent his bow like an enemy with his right hand set like a foe. 277 00:26:20,339 –> 00:26:26,920 And he has killed all who were delightful in our eyes in the tent of the daughter Zion. 278 00:26:26,920 –> 00:26:31,020 He has poured out his fury like fire. 279 00:26:31,020 –> 00:26:33,020 Verse five. 280 00:26:33,020 –> 00:26:36,000 The Lord has become like an enemy. 281 00:26:36,000 –> 00:26:38,239 He has swallowed up Israel. 282 00:26:38,239 –> 00:26:40,839 He has swallowed up all its palaces. 283 00:26:40,839 –> 00:26:43,400 He has laid in ruins its stronghold. 284 00:26:43,400 –> 00:26:50,880 And he has multiplied in the daughter of Judah mourning and lamentation. 285 00:26:50,880 –> 00:26:56,099 Seventeen complaints, grievances against God in five verses. 286 00:26:56,099 –> 00:27:00,060 And if that’s not enough to persuade you of how prominent this theme is in the book 287 00:27:00,060 –> 00:27:04,880 of Lamentations just take your bible and look at chapter three. 288 00:27:04,880 –> 00:27:12,119 And what is the first word of nearly every verse for the first sixteen verses? 289 00:27:12,119 –> 00:27:16,339 You see in the margin there you just looked down he, he, he, he, he, there’s another 290 00:27:16,339 –> 00:27:21,560 12 grievances against God in chapter three verses one to sixteen. 291 00:27:21,560 –> 00:27:27,579 So it’s at twenty-nine and I’m sure there’s more, but they’re focused. 292 00:27:27,579 –> 00:27:30,119 That’s a lot of grievances. 293 00:27:30,260 –> 00:27:33,140 and they’re all directed against who? 294 00:27:33,140 –> 00:27:35,979 Against the Lord. 295 00:27:35,979 –> 00:27:42,099 Grief comes with grievance attached. 296 00:27:42,099 –> 00:27:48,739 What were the first words when our Lord Jesus arrived at Bethany after the death of Lazarus. 297 00:27:48,739 –> 00:27:54,979 You remember he arrived at Bethany four days after Lazarus had died and Lazarus’ two sisters 298 00:27:54,979 –> 00:27:59,880 Martha and Mary were grieving. 299 00:27:59,880 –> 00:28:07,020 What were the first words that Martha spoke to Jesus when he arrived, the first words 300 00:28:07,020 –> 00:28:09,520 she spoke? 301 00:28:09,520 –> 00:28:20,719 Lord if you had been here my brother would not have died, there’s grievance in that 302 00:28:20,719 –> 00:28:27,719 and you remember that sometime later Mary who had stayed in the house came out and she 303 00:28:28,239 –> 00:28:35,239 met Jesus and what were the first words that Mary said to Jesus? 304 00:28:35,920 –> 00:28:42,920 Lord if you had been here my brother would not have died. Exactly the same words recorded 305 00:28:43,180 –> 00:28:50,180 twice from both of these sisters but that was what was dominant in their mind what in 306 00:28:50,599 –> 00:28:57,599 the world was Jesus doing when my brother died? Jesus loves my brother. Jesus loves 307 00:28:58,859 –> 00:29:02,780 me. How could this have happened? 308 00:29:02,780 –> 00:29:06,719 So this is the reality of experience. Isn’t it wonderful that the Bible speaks to life 309 00:29:06,719 –> 00:29:12,959 as it is not some, you know, idealized version. It speaks to the realities of guilt that comes 310 00:29:12,959 –> 00:29:19,380 with grief. It speaks to the realities of grievance that comes when there is pain suffering 311 00:29:19,380 –> 00:29:23,520 and sorrow and loss. 312 00:29:23,520 –> 00:29:28,680 I told you last time that I have been so enriched by meeting with a group of folks who had all 313 00:29:28,680 –> 00:29:35,680 experienced in an acute way the path of bereavement and of sorrow and of loss. We walked through 314 00:29:39,479 –> 00:29:45,900 their stories and touching some of these themes of lamentations. It was so helpful to me to 315 00:29:45,979 –> 00:29:52,680 be able to be with them and to learn from them how their experience is related to this 316 00:29:52,680 –> 00:29:59,680 book. And someone in our group said this, it is hard to believe that God loves you when 317 00:30:01,719 –> 00:30:08,719 He takes away someone you love. It is hard to believe that God loves you when He takes 318 00:30:08,719 –> 00:30:15,719 away someone you love. So grief always brings out some grievance, or invariably does. And 319 00:30:20,479 –> 00:30:27,479 especially for a Christian believer we’re confronted with this sense of grievance towards 320 00:30:28,040 –> 00:30:34,020 the Lord that you see all of our lamentations and even in such Godly women as Martha and 321 00:30:34,380 –> 00:30:41,199 Mary. Now I want you to observe this in a remarkable 322 00:30:41,199 –> 00:30:48,199 way. This grievance towards God is not actually an expression of unbelief. It is actually 323 00:30:50,739 –> 00:30:57,040 in a very profound way an expression of faith. You see these folks in lamentations they were 324 00:30:57,079 –> 00:31:03,079 not secularists who thought that you know the destruction of a city happens by a random 325 00:31:03,079 –> 00:31:10,079 chance. No, these are God’s people. These are people who believe that God is sovereign 326 00:31:10,140 –> 00:31:17,140 in all things including the disaster that had befallen their city with all of its horrific 327 00:31:17,199 –> 00:31:21,260 loss. Behind the work of their enemies, of which 328 00:31:21,260 –> 00:31:27,119 for sure they expressed grievance, there much greater concern was with God, who is 329 00:31:27,119 –> 00:31:33,260 sovereign. Why could God not only allow this, because His hand must actually have been in 330 00:31:33,260 –> 00:31:40,260 it! These are people who believe that the Lord gives, and that the Lord takes away. 331 00:31:42,739 –> 00:31:49,739 Friends, honestly, if you really believe that it is the Lord who gives, and it is the Lord 332 00:31:51,260 –> 00:31:57,300 who takes away, it won’t always be so easy then to say, blessed be the name of the Lord. 333 00:31:57,300 –> 00:32:03,280 Job said that, but he was such a righteous man, and not all of us are there. Some of 334 00:32:03,280 –> 00:32:09,819 us are going to find ourselves in lamentations, saying, well, I do actually believe that God 335 00:32:09,819 –> 00:32:14,079 is sovereign in all things, and therefore, I can’t escape this conclusion that His hand 336 00:32:14,099 –> 00:32:22,319 has been in this taking away, and therefore I have a problem. And what are you to do with 337 00:32:22,319 –> 00:32:33,119 that? Well, let me say to you again, lamentations is in the Bible for a reason. And here’s surely 338 00:32:33,119 –> 00:32:40,239 what we learned from the book at this point. There is no better place to pour out your 339 00:32:40,239 –> 00:32:47,640 grievance than in the presence of God. And there may be all kinds of grievances in the 340 00:32:47,640 –> 00:32:52,619 congregation today, some of them nothing to do with bereavement. But I want you to take 341 00:32:52,619 –> 00:33:01,020 this from the book of Lamentations. There is no better place to pour out your grievance 342 00:33:01,020 –> 00:33:07,040 than in the presence of God. Let me put it this way to you, don’t complain 343 00:33:07,359 –> 00:33:17,359 God behind his back. If you have a complaint against God, bring it to him face to face. 344 00:33:19,319 –> 00:33:24,920 That is what is modeled for us in Lamentations and is what is modeled for us again and again 345 00:33:24,920 –> 00:33:31,020 in the book of Psalms. I was reading and found this very fascinating, 346 00:33:31,079 –> 00:33:42,079 Eugene Peterson, a very greatly respected pastor, writes about a friend who was overwhelmed 347 00:33:42,079 –> 00:33:50,520 with personal, marital, and vocational troubles. This friend began going to New York City for 348 00:33:50,520 –> 00:33:59,300 what he described as Scream Weekends. He is referring of course to Primal Scream Therapy 349 00:33:59,640 –> 00:34:08,639 which sufferers are encouraged to vent accumulated anger and resentment and pain by screaming 350 00:34:08,639 –> 00:34:15,120 and an environment is provided where this is encouraged. The process is described as 351 00:34:15,120 –> 00:34:20,800 being like thunder and lightning in a summer storm. You know, you have this great cataclysm 352 00:34:20,800 –> 00:34:26,639 and then suddenly the sun is out and the birds are singing and so forth. Peterson says, yes, 353 00:34:26,639 –> 00:34:34,780 there is catharsis in the very nature of what is done in this experience. There is catharsis, 354 00:34:34,780 –> 00:34:43,479 he says, but there is not healing. He then goes on to say that the friend went 355 00:34:43,479 –> 00:34:48,939 to these scream weekends on a number of occasions and reported, the friend said, oh, the results 356 00:34:49,639 –> 00:34:58,679 though they only last for between two and seven days. It just struck me as somewhat 357 00:34:58,679 –> 00:35:06,360 ironic, if it’s a scream weekend and the effects last from two to a maximum of seven days. 358 00:35:06,360 –> 00:35:13,439 You’re going to have to keep signing up, aren’t you, for another scream weekend in New York 359 00:35:13,439 –> 00:35:20,679 City? Now, Peterson at one point sat down with his friend after he’d got into this pattern 360 00:35:20,679 –> 00:35:30,479 for some time, and he said this. I said to him at one point why don’t you shut yourself 361 00:35:30,479 –> 00:35:40,520 up in a room for a weekend with the book of Lamentations and Isaiah chapter 53? He said 362 00:35:40,520 –> 00:35:48,100 the friend looked at me uncomprehendingly, but I said to him, says Peterson, it would 363 00:35:48,100 –> 00:35:57,479 be far healthier. Now why would it be far healthier? Well one reason is that Lamentations 364 00:35:57,479 –> 00:36:05,459 is a cry to God and that means that it’s actually heard. It’s not just a scream out into the 365 00:36:05,459 –> 00:36:14,620 air. It’s heard because it is a cry to God. There’s no better place to pour out your grief 366 00:36:14,620 –> 00:36:21,439 than in the presence of God and if he took the book of Lamentations why would it be far 367 00:36:21,439 –> 00:36:29,620 healthier for the second reason. You see what is heard by God in Lamentations is far far 368 00:36:29,860 –> 00:36:36,860 better than a scream. I mean a scream is simply a venting of pain. Lamentations is an articulation 369 00:36:39,060 –> 00:36:45,139 of the sources of the pain. That’s why you have line after line after line after line 370 00:36:45,139 –> 00:36:51,500 of grievance. We just spotted twenty nine of them at a quick glance. There’s all the 371 00:36:51,500 –> 00:36:58,500 difference in the world. So says Peterson to his friend, if you shut yourself up with 372 00:36:58,659 –> 00:37:04,800 the book of Lamentations if you were to learn what it is to express your grievance and its 373 00:37:04,800 –> 00:37:10,679 source, to put that into words in the presence of God, you know what? That would be te beginning 374 00:37:10,679 –> 00:37:15,040 of your healing and it would last a lot more than seven days. 375 00:37:15,040 –> 00:37:22,040 Now, there will be some here today and you have a great deal of screaming going on in 376 00:37:22,500 –> 00:37:28,280 your soul. I don’t mean you’re going out into the woods and doing the primal thing, 377 00:37:28,280 –> 00:37:35,060 but you know what I’m saying. There’s a lot of screaming that’s going on in your 378 00:37:35,060 –> 00:37:42,060 soul. Your soul is filled with grievance. And I’m saying to you from the book of Lamentations 379 00:37:43,600 –> 00:37:50,600 today that if you would truly bring that to God, if you would do what Lamentations does 380 00:37:52,439 –> 00:37:59,439 line by line, get it out, bring it, all your grievance in all of its dimensions until you’ve 381 00:38:01,500 –> 00:38:07,520 exhausted everything that you can think of. It’s what Lamentations does. And you do it 382 00:38:07,520 –> 00:38:13,679 in the presence of God. That would be the beginning of your healing. 383 00:38:13,679 –> 00:38:20,320 It really would. There’s a poem that I think is helpful, written by a woman by 384 00:38:20,340 –> 00:38:24,840 the name of Jessica Shavers, very insightful, called Angry at God. 385 00:38:26,840 –> 00:38:36,860 I told God I was angry. I thought he’d be surprised. I thought I’d kept hostility quite 386 00:38:36,860 –> 00:38:47,760 cleverly disguised. I told the Lord I hate him. I told him that I hurt. I told him that 387 00:38:47,939 –> 00:38:59,399 it isn’t fair he’s treated me like dirt. I told God I was angry. But I’m the one surprised. 388 00:38:59,399 –> 00:39:07,840 What I’ve known all along, he said, you’ve finally realized. At last you have admitted 389 00:39:07,840 –> 00:39:18,959 what’s really in your heart. It’s dishonesty, not anger, that’s keeping us apart. Even 390 00:39:18,959 –> 00:39:27,020 when you hate me, I don’t stop loving you, but before you can receive that love, you 391 00:39:27,020 –> 00:39:37,060 must admit what’s true. In telling me the anger you genuinely feel, it loses power 392 00:39:37,120 –> 00:39:49,199 over you, permitting you to heal. I told God I was sorry and He’s forgiven 393 00:39:49,199 –> 00:40:00,179 me. The truth that I was angry has finally set me free. There’s something very profoundly 394 00:40:00,179 –> 00:40:07,459 true in that dealing with grievance in the presence of God. 395 00:40:07,459 –> 00:40:17,620 Now just in these last moments briefly, guilt, grievance, and Christ. Let me just in these 396 00:40:17,620 –> 00:40:22,659 last moments draw your attention to verse 12, which we can’t possibly miss at this point 397 00:40:22,659 –> 00:40:31,459 in Lamentations, where one who suffers says this, “‘Is it nothing to you, all you who 398 00:40:31,459 –> 00:40:41,739 pass by? Look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow, which was brought upon me 399 00:40:41,739 –> 00:40:49,360 which the Lord inflicted on the day of his fierce anger.’” So right in the middle of 400 00:40:49,959 –> 00:40:55,739 this articulation of complaint towards God, all of this guilt and all of this grievance, 401 00:40:55,739 –> 00:41:03,399 there’s a voice that speaks, and it’s the voice of someone who has suffered very greatly indeed. 402 00:41:03,399 –> 00:41:13,300 This voice of a suffering person speaks into the life and the experience of grieving people. He 403 00:41:13,300 –> 00:41:19,540 says, you’re filled with sorrow. Well, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take a look 404 00:41:19,540 –> 00:41:26,840 at my sorrow. You feel that God’s laid something upon you that’s been grievous to you, take a look 405 00:41:26,840 –> 00:41:35,100 at what was laid upon me in the day of his anger. Christians, of course, have long, 406 00:41:35,100 –> 00:41:41,600 long seen this verse as a remarkable prophecy off the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I 407 00:41:41,760 –> 00:41:49,280 want you to hear these words as we draw to a close today from the lips of our crucified Savior. Is it 408 00:41:49,280 –> 00:41:59,600 nothing to you? Come and look at my suffering. Was there ever sorrow like my sorrow? You have 409 00:41:59,600 –> 00:42:09,399 a grievance. Look at what was laid on me. To people who are struggling with guilt and grievance, 410 00:42:09,439 –> 00:42:17,320 here’s what lamentations is saying prophetically in its place in the Scripture. Look through your 411 00:42:17,320 –> 00:42:26,840 guilt. Look through your grievance and beyond it to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. Look at 412 00:42:26,840 –> 00:42:35,500 the cross. Who’s hanging there? This is God in the flesh, the God against whom you have a 413 00:42:35,699 –> 00:42:45,560 grievance and why is he hanging there and why is there sorrow upon sorrow on him? He’s hanging 414 00:42:45,560 –> 00:42:58,659 there for you. It’s hard to believe that God loves you when he takes away someone you love. Yes, 415 00:42:58,659 –> 00:43:12,280 but look through your grievance to the cross where the Son of God loves you and gives himself 416 00:43:12,280 –> 00:43:22,820 for you. And I’ll tell you it is hard not to believe that God loves you when you’re looking 417 00:43:23,340 –> 00:43:34,739 at the cross. Father, please let the guilt and grievance that needs to be laid at the 418 00:43:34,739 –> 00:43:42,500 foot of the cross of Jesus today be placed there that sins may be forgiven, that consciences may 419 00:43:42,860 –> 00:43:53,100 cleansed, that grievances that arise from the sense that you are really against us may be 420 00:43:53,100 –> 00:44:01,100 overwhelmed by all that we see of how You are totally for us in our Lord and Savior through 421 00:44:01,100 –> 00:44:08,699 His suffering and His triumph on the cross. May today be a day of hope and healing for many who 422 00:44:08,699 –> 00:44:14,179 struggle with guilt and grievance. For these things we pray in Jesus’ wonderful name. Amen.

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Colin Smith

Trustee / Founder and Teaching Pastor

Colin Smith is the Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near – So Far. Colin is the Founder and Teaching Pastor for Open the Bible. Follow him on X formerly Twitter.

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God has given us an entire book of the Bible that teaches us how to navigate the valley of sorrow and loss. The book of Lamentations is a house for sorrow and a school for compassion. Studying this book will help you better understand what it means to grieve and hope at the same time.

Colin Smith

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