Tears and Talk

Lamentations 1
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Pastor Colin Smith begins a new four-week series on the book of Lamentations, titled “For All Who Grieve.” This series is dedicated to those who are familiar with grief, sorrow, and loss, which touches everyone at some point in life. Pastor Colin explains that grief is the inward desolation following the loss of something or someone loved, as described by Dr. Jim Packer.

Pastor Colin underscores the significance of the book of Lamentations, which addresses the difficult subject of grief. He explains that the book is a detailed account of the grief and sorrow stemming from the siege and fall of Jerusalem in 586 BC. The book is an unsparing record of the suffering endured by God’s people during that time, expressing their pain and loss in excruciating detail.

Throughout the sermon, Pastor Colin highlights the importance of tears and talk in the grieving process. He stresses that tears should not be held back, as they are a natural release for the pain of the soul. The book of Lamentations is soaked in tears, emphasising that it is okay to let them flow.

Talking about grief is also essential. The entire book of Lamentations is a continuous outpouring of grief put into words. Pastor Colin quotes a biographer of G.K. Chesterton, who mentions that unspeakable grief can lead to a broken heart. Therefore, it is crucial to allow grief to be expressed through words.

Furthermore, Pastor Colin touches on the significance of the congregation’s role in supporting the bereaved. He encourages the listeners to actively help keep the memory of loved ones alive and to weep with those who weep, fulfilling the New Testament commandment.

Finally, Pastor Colin points to Jesus Christ, the Man of Sorrows acquainted with grief. Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus, showing that He understands and empathises with our griefs

1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:07,140 you’re listening to a sermon from pastor Colin Smith of Open The Bible. 2 00:00:07,140 –> 00:00:15,180 To contact us, call us at 1-877-open-365 or visit our web site openthebible.org. 3 00:00:15,180 –> 00:00:17,799 Let’s get to the message. 4 00:00:17,799 –> 00:00:19,559 Here is Pastor Colin. 5 00:00:19,559 –> 00:00:25,520 It is a joy to be beginning a new series for four weeks that we’re going to share together 6 00:00:25,520 –> 00:00:28,020 in the book of Lamentations. 7 00:00:28,340 –> 00:00:31,860 The new series is called very simply, For All Who Grieve. 8 00:00:31,860 –> 00:00:38,720 I want to speak especially to those who know and are familiar with the path of grief, sorrow 9 00:00:38,720 –> 00:00:45,419 and loss, and at some point in life, that will be every one of us, every single one 10 00:00:45,419 –> 00:00:46,779 of us. 11 00:00:46,779 –> 00:00:51,380 Let me begin with a simple description from Dr. Jim Packer who says this. 12 00:00:51,520 –> 00:00:59,639 Grief, he says, is the inward decelation that follows from losing something or someone we 13 00:00:59,639 –> 00:01:01,740 loved. 14 00:01:01,740 –> 00:01:08,580 And the something or the someone that we loved, he then goes on to say, it may be a child, 15 00:01:08,580 –> 00:01:14,580 maybe a relative, it may be an actual or an anticipated life partner. 16 00:01:14,580 –> 00:01:18,940 Says it may be a pet, maybe a job. 17 00:01:18,940 –> 00:01:21,160 It may be one’s home. 18 00:01:21,160 –> 00:01:23,540 It may be one’s hopes. 19 00:01:23,540 –> 00:01:26,639 It may be one’s health or whatever. 20 00:01:26,639 –> 00:01:31,699 Now I begin there because I want to find as many ways as possible for each of us, in whatever 21 00:01:31,699 –> 00:01:38,919 circumstance of life we are in, to be able to connect with this very, very important 22 00:01:38,919 –> 00:01:40,879 book of lamentations. 23 00:01:40,879 –> 00:01:47,760 The key words in what Dr. Packer so wisely says are, love and loss. 24 00:01:47,820 –> 00:01:53,760 Something or someone dearly loved, and then lost. 25 00:01:53,760 –> 00:02:01,400 Grief is very simply the process of adapting to the loss of something or of someone that 26 00:02:01,400 –> 00:02:03,099 we loved. 27 00:02:03,099 –> 00:02:10,160 Now we often speak about a person who loses a loved one as being bereaved. 28 00:02:10,160 –> 00:02:13,020 I’d never thought about this before until I looked at the word. 29 00:02:13,160 –> 00:02:17,020 But actually it’s made up of two words, be 30 00:02:17,020 –> 00:02:19,039 wreathed. 31 00:02:19,039 –> 00:02:26,619 And the word wreathed is an old English word that means this, to be robbed, to be plundered, 32 00:02:26,619 –> 00:02:30,779 or to have something torn away, wreathed. 33 00:02:30,779 –> 00:02:37,619 So one who is bereaved, feels that they’ve been robbed. 34 00:02:37,619 –> 00:02:41,720 They feel that they have been plundered as something that is dearly loved, or someone 35 00:02:41,720 –> 00:02:44,059 who is dearly loved has been taken away. 36 00:02:44,059 –> 00:02:51,740 And so the experience, the reaving experience, often feels like being torn apart in two. 37 00:02:51,740 –> 00:02:58,820 Now, all of us, of course, walk through this valley of grief and loss at some time and 38 00:02:58,820 –> 00:03:00,919 in some different ways. 39 00:03:00,919 –> 00:03:07,500 And I think therefore that it is very, very significant that God in his great kindness 40 00:03:07,580 –> 00:03:16,860 has given us an entire book of the Bible that is addressed to the subject of grief. 41 00:03:16,860 –> 00:03:24,419 An entire book of the Bible that properly understood will help us navigate the valley 42 00:03:24,419 –> 00:03:28,020 of grief, the valley of sorrow, the valley of loss when we come to it. 43 00:03:28,020 –> 00:03:34,940 That book, of course, is the book of lamentations and it is a book that, candidly, is not often 44 00:03:35,139 –> 00:03:37,960 preached in all of my years as a pastor. 45 00:03:37,960 –> 00:03:41,720 I have never once preached a series. 46 00:03:41,720 –> 00:03:46,639 I preached a couple of individual messages, but I’ve never once preached a series on 47 00:03:46,639 –> 00:03:53,639 this book of the Bible, and I came to a place of saying why in the world not? 48 00:03:54,639 –> 00:04:03,399 especially given that this book speaks to something that every member of the congregation 49 00:04:03,399 –> 00:04:09,440 at some time and perhaps in multiple ways will experience as we walk through the valley 50 00:04:09,440 –> 00:04:12,399 of sorrow and of loss. 51 00:04:12,399 –> 00:04:17,779 It’s a remarkable thing when we take the Bible in our hands, God’s Word in its fullness 52 00:04:17,779 –> 00:04:21,059 speaks to every part of our lives. 53 00:04:22,000 –> 00:04:29,459 If we miss any part of what God has said to us, then we end up missing on the provision 54 00:04:29,459 –> 00:04:34,119 that God Himself has made in that particular part of Scripture. 55 00:04:34,959 –> 00:04:41,959 Now, I want you to know that I began meditating on lamentations towards the end of last year. 56 00:04:41,959 –> 00:04:48,320 During these weeks, Karin and I had the great privilege of meeting with several couples 57 00:04:48,459 –> 00:04:52,559 in the church over a period of about five weeks. 58 00:04:52,559 –> 00:04:59,059 All of them had experienced the loss of a child, and in the group also were three young 59 00:04:59,059 –> 00:05:03,500 women who had experienced the loss of a brother. 60 00:05:03,500 –> 00:05:09,660 These dear friends were representative of many, many, many more stories 61 00:05:09,660 –> 00:05:13,019 that are here in this congregation. 62 00:05:13,079 –> 00:05:18,140 How many of you who have experienced the loss of a child, the loss of a spouse, 63 00:05:18,140 –> 00:05:23,179 the loss of a parent, the loss of a sibling? 64 00:05:23,179 –> 00:05:31,040 I have to tell you that listening to the stories of these dear friends and the sharing of the 65 00:05:31,040 –> 00:05:38,019 insights that they brought into the conversation that we had loosely around the book of Lamentations 66 00:05:38,059 –> 00:05:42,040 has been immensely, immensely helpful to me. 67 00:05:42,040 –> 00:05:46,920 And you will find in this series me alluding to some of these insights that I hope and 68 00:05:46,920 –> 00:05:50,000 pray will be helpful for us all. 69 00:05:50,000 –> 00:05:54,679 I want just as we get into this, and before we come to the scriptures themselves, just 70 00:05:54,679 –> 00:06:00,119 to set out three aims that I have in mind for these four weeks that we share together. 71 00:06:00,119 –> 00:06:01,640 And there are three aims. 72 00:06:01,640 –> 00:06:08,640 The first is that we will better understand what it is to grieve and to hope. 73 00:06:08,640 –> 00:06:12,299 It’s a very simple but important question. 74 00:06:12,299 –> 00:06:15,519 What does it mean to grieve? 75 00:06:15,519 –> 00:06:20,440 Now you will have heard as I have heard people saying, looking back on a loss perhaps from 76 00:06:20,440 –> 00:06:21,440 some years ago. 77 00:06:21,440 –> 00:06:27,839 They may say, you know, I don’t think I ever really grieved properly. 78 00:06:27,839 –> 00:06:31,339 Well, what does it mean? 79 00:06:31,459 –> 00:06:35,239 To grieve properly. 80 00:06:35,239 –> 00:06:39,839 What does it mean to hope when you grieve? 81 00:06:39,839 –> 00:06:45,140 See, it’s not that Christians grieve for a little while and then just become full of 82 00:06:45,140 –> 00:06:48,079 smiles and hope for the rest of their lives. 83 00:06:48,079 –> 00:06:49,880 It’s not like that at all. 84 00:06:49,880 –> 00:06:54,559 Christians grieve and hope at the same time. 85 00:06:54,799 –> 00:07:01,079 We grieve while we hope, and we hope while we grieve. 86 00:07:01,820 –> 00:07:05,600 I want us to see from Lamentations what that looks like, because it’s all through this 87 00:07:05,600 –> 00:07:08,519 remarkable and extraordinary book. 88 00:07:08,519 –> 00:07:14,579 Second, objective is for all of us, I want us to be better equipped to live and to serve 89 00:07:14,579 –> 00:07:15,760 in a suffering world. 90 00:07:15,760 –> 00:07:21,679 I want us to be better in terms of our own ability to come alongside those who grieve 91 00:07:21,799 –> 00:07:27,079 and to minister in a world of grief, and of suffering, and of loss. 92 00:07:27,079 –> 00:07:31,559 You know, we don’t come to church in order to escape reality. 93 00:07:31,559 –> 00:07:34,019 Folks who don’t believe often have that conviction. 94 00:07:34,019 –> 00:07:35,779 Oh yeah, yeah, of course people don’t go to church. 95 00:07:35,779 –> 00:07:38,940 They’re just in, you know, it’s a sort of escapist fantasy. 96 00:07:38,940 –> 00:07:43,359 We don’t come to church to escape reality. 97 00:07:43,359 –> 00:07:49,640 We come to church in order to face reality in the strength of the Lord who feeds us and 98 00:07:49,679 –> 00:07:57,000 nourishes us through his Word and God speaks to our world as it is. 99 00:07:57,000 –> 00:08:01,839 He doesn’t speak to life as you and I might like it to be. 100 00:08:01,839 –> 00:08:06,079 He speaks to our world as it is. 101 00:08:06,079 –> 00:08:10,600 And the scriptures are given to us not only to prepare us for the wonderful world where 102 00:08:10,600 –> 00:08:13,399 grief and tears and sorrow will be no more. 103 00:08:13,399 –> 00:08:18,660 The scripture is given to us in order to enable us to stand in this world where there are 104 00:08:18,660 –> 00:08:26,679 many tears and grief and heartbreak and the experience even of being riven, of being reeved, 105 00:08:26,679 –> 00:08:31,279 of being torn apart. 106 00:08:31,279 –> 00:08:34,539 One writer describes the book of Lamentations as, 107 00:08:34,539 –> 00:08:39,440 a house for sorrow and a school for compassion. 108 00:08:39,440 –> 00:08:46,500 In other words, here’s a place where you can learn to have a tender heart. 109 00:08:46,500 –> 00:08:48,619 And we all want more of that in our lives, don’t we? 110 00:08:48,619 –> 00:08:54,020 We want to know more of what it is to weep with those who weep and to be able to minister 111 00:08:54,020 –> 00:08:59,080 in a world of great suffering and great sorrow and great desolation and 112 00:08:59,080 –> 00:09:03,059 lamentations surely ministers to us in this way. 113 00:09:03,059 –> 00:09:06,500 So we want to better understand what it means to grieve and to hope 114 00:09:06,500 –> 00:09:09,020 and how you do the two together. 115 00:09:09,020 –> 00:09:13,039 We want to be better equipped to live and to serve in a suffering world. 116 00:09:13,039 –> 00:09:15,619 And here’s the third aim for this series, 117 00:09:15,659 –> 00:09:20,460 that we will meet Jesus Christ on the path of sorrow, 118 00:09:20,479 –> 00:09:26,719 that we will meet Jesus Christ on the path of sorrow. 119 00:09:26,719 –> 00:09:32,460 The path of sorrow is a difficult and a painful path, 120 00:09:32,460 –> 00:09:36,559 but it is a path with which Jesus Christ Himself is familiar. 121 00:09:36,559 –> 00:09:39,380 He is familiar with suffering, he’s the man of 122 00:09:39,380 –> 00:09:43,119 Sorrows acquainted with grief, 123 00:09:43,119 –> 00:09:51,000 but it will be a path therefore in which many discover a closer and a deeper walk with Jesus 124 00:09:51,020 –> 00:09:53,239 Christ. 125 00:09:53,239 –> 00:09:54,520 And you know what? 126 00:09:54,520 –> 00:09:59,900 Any path in which you find a deeper, closer walk with 127 00:09:59,900 –> 00:10:05,119 Jesus Christ is a path that is blessed, even if it 128 00:10:05,119 –> 00:10:09,460 is a path of grief and sorrow and loss. 129 00:10:09,460 –> 00:10:11,760 And so, these are the things I am praying for, 130 00:10:11,760 –> 00:10:14,960 that especially those who are walking this path will find 131 00:10:14,960 –> 00:10:18,460 that there is a true meeting with Jesus Christ 132 00:10:18,460 –> 00:10:24,960 and a help and a comfort that comes from our wonderful Saviour. 133 00:10:24,960 –> 00:10:27,979 Now let me then very briefly just sketch in for you 134 00:10:27,979 –> 00:10:31,679 the background to the book of Lamentations. 135 00:10:31,679 –> 00:10:36,380 Lamentations, very simply, describes and it does it 136 00:10:36,380 –> 00:10:40,919 in excruciating detail, it is not an easy book to read. 137 00:10:41,020 –> 00:10:44,520 It describes in excruciating detail the grief 138 00:10:44,520 –> 00:10:49,520 and the sorrow that resulted from the siege 139 00:10:50,020 –> 00:10:53,520 and eventually the fall, the collapse of the city 140 00:10:53,520 –> 00:10:58,719 of Jerusalem, the city of God, in the year 586 BC, 141 00:10:58,719 –> 00:11:03,119 586 years before our Lord Jesus Christ was born. 142 00:11:03,119 –> 00:11:07,840 It’s called Lamentations because it is a lament, 143 00:11:07,940 –> 00:11:12,679 it is a crying out from pain from people 144 00:11:12,679 –> 00:11:16,359 who had survived unspeakable loss. 145 00:11:17,599 –> 00:11:21,859 Lamentations is a cry from the darkest place 146 00:11:24,039 –> 00:11:27,039 when the city of Jerusalem bombarded 147 00:11:27,039 –> 00:11:32,039 after a long siege, collapsed in a heap of ruins. 148 00:11:32,559 –> 00:11:34,840 In fact, if you can try and picture this, 149 00:11:34,840 –> 00:11:37,700 God’s people, and it was God’s people, 150 00:11:38,599 –> 00:11:42,619 they suffered five disasters one on top of another, 151 00:11:42,619 –> 00:11:44,940 so you have to get the cumulative sense 152 00:11:44,940 –> 00:11:46,159 of what these people suffered. 153 00:11:46,159 –> 00:11:50,080 Number one, their enemies laid siege to the city 154 00:11:50,080 –> 00:11:51,760 and they just camped outside there 155 00:11:51,760 –> 00:11:54,799 so there was no water coming in, no food coming in. 156 00:11:54,799 –> 00:11:58,239 We’re just gonna sit and wait until we starve them to death. 157 00:12:00,320 –> 00:12:04,200 Much of what is described here relates to the agonies 158 00:12:04,239 –> 00:12:07,200 of enduring with children 159 00:12:08,080 –> 00:12:10,359 that kind of a horrendous scenario. 160 00:12:11,239 –> 00:12:14,580 Then the people starved. 161 00:12:14,580 –> 00:12:16,599 Some of the descriptions in the book 162 00:12:16,599 –> 00:12:20,320 of the horrors of living through a siege 163 00:12:20,320 –> 00:12:23,539 are more really than you ever want to read 164 00:12:23,539 –> 00:12:25,799 or know of what this is like. 165 00:12:27,380 –> 00:12:30,640 Finally, the city fell and, of course, 166 00:12:30,640 –> 00:12:32,059 when the walls were breached, 167 00:12:32,059 –> 00:12:34,460 the gates collapsed and so forth. 168 00:12:34,460 –> 00:12:36,840 That which had made the people feel 169 00:12:36,840 –> 00:12:40,219 at least in some degree safe from their enemies was gone 170 00:12:40,219 –> 00:12:43,659 and so now there was the sense of being completely overrun 171 00:12:43,659 –> 00:12:47,140 and therefore, as a result, the city was occupied. 172 00:12:47,979 –> 00:12:49,900 Fourth disaster. 173 00:12:49,900 –> 00:12:52,679 Now there is food coming in, now there is water coming in, 174 00:12:52,679 –> 00:12:54,719 but now they’re living under the brutal 175 00:12:54,719 –> 00:12:58,020 and totalitarian rule of those who smashed the gates 176 00:12:58,020 –> 00:13:01,140 and smashed the walls and destroyed their homes 177 00:13:01,739 –> 00:13:04,000 and now they’ve become slaves. 178 00:13:05,340 –> 00:13:08,320 And then perhaps to people of faith 179 00:13:08,320 –> 00:13:11,280 the most poignant of all, the temple itself was destroyed, 180 00:13:11,280 –> 00:13:13,659 right in the center of Jerusalem there. 181 00:13:13,659 –> 00:13:15,340 And remember that in the Old Testament 182 00:13:15,340 –> 00:13:18,099 the temple was the place where God said my presence 183 00:13:18,099 –> 00:13:20,380 will come down, this is where I will meet you 184 00:13:20,380 –> 00:13:23,440 and now the place of God’s presence is destroyed. 185 00:13:23,440 –> 00:13:27,539 So it raises the question, where in the world is God 186 00:13:27,539 –> 00:13:29,260 in the middle of all of this? 187 00:13:29,260 –> 00:13:30,880 Even the temple’s gone. 188 00:13:31,539 –> 00:13:34,460 And here are people who feel utterly alone, 189 00:13:34,460 –> 00:13:39,059 utterly bereft, bereaved, torn apart. 190 00:13:40,479 –> 00:13:44,380 Now many of course died in these awful days, 191 00:13:44,380 –> 00:13:46,219 then many more and you’ll find reference 192 00:13:46,219 –> 00:13:48,559 to this in the book were taken away, 193 00:13:48,559 –> 00:13:51,520 the conquering power creamed off 194 00:13:51,520 –> 00:13:53,460 as it were the people they wanted 195 00:13:53,460 –> 00:13:55,900 and left the rest behind. 196 00:13:55,900 –> 00:13:59,700 So some people like Daniel went off into exile 197 00:13:59,760 –> 00:14:01,260 and that’s where you get the story of the book 198 00:14:01,260 –> 00:14:04,020 of Daniel and the Prophet Ezekiel 199 00:14:04,020 –> 00:14:07,500 was a prophet who was taken off into the exile, 200 00:14:07,500 –> 00:14:12,599 but Lamentations is the cry of those who remained, 201 00:14:13,559 –> 00:14:17,739 the survivors who remained in the ruins 202 00:14:17,739 –> 00:14:21,000 and with all of their loss had to find a way 203 00:14:21,000 –> 00:14:25,260 of rebuilding a life out of the rubble 204 00:14:25,260 –> 00:14:26,900 of all that had been destroyed 205 00:14:26,900 –> 00:14:29,059 in the place that they had once called. 206 00:14:29,739 –> 00:14:30,580 Home. 207 00:14:31,460 –> 00:14:34,140 Now what you will find in these five chapters, 208 00:14:34,140 –> 00:14:35,659 if you read through the entire book, 209 00:14:35,659 –> 00:14:39,559 you will find that it is very, very repetitive. 210 00:14:39,559 –> 00:14:41,320 That’s one of the reasons why we’re not going to go 211 00:14:41,320 –> 00:14:42,559 through it verse by verse, 212 00:14:42,559 –> 00:14:46,619 because this is what grief is like, 213 00:14:46,619 –> 00:14:51,619 grief is not linear, grief is repetitive. 214 00:14:51,780 –> 00:14:53,719 A grieving person knows what it is, 215 00:14:53,719 –> 00:14:56,340 to go over and over and over again, 216 00:14:56,340 –> 00:14:59,500 the same thing, the same story, 217 00:14:59,500 –> 00:15:03,539 the same pain and that’s exactly what we find 218 00:15:03,539 –> 00:15:05,919 here in the Book of Lamentations, 219 00:15:05,919 –> 00:15:07,340 and so what I want to do, 220 00:15:07,340 –> 00:15:12,340 is to try and draw out four main themes from this book. 221 00:15:12,619 –> 00:15:13,940 We will work our way through it, 222 00:15:13,940 –> 00:15:16,719 but we will find four interconnected themes, 223 00:15:16,719 –> 00:15:20,840 the first today is going to be tears and talk. 224 00:15:20,840 –> 00:15:23,700 The next week, guilt and grievance, 225 00:15:23,700 –> 00:15:25,299 there’s always guilt and grievance 226 00:15:25,299 –> 00:15:27,979 mixed in with sorrow and loss. 227 00:15:27,979 –> 00:15:32,520 Then hope and healing and then lastly prayer and praise, 228 00:15:32,520 –> 00:15:37,280 all of these themes from the Book of Lamentations. 229 00:15:37,280 –> 00:15:40,919 Now we begin today then with tears and talk, 230 00:15:42,059 –> 00:15:45,820 and I took that title from a story 231 00:15:45,820 –> 00:15:49,039 that is told by Leslie Allen, 232 00:15:49,039 –> 00:15:54,000 who I know because he was the professor of Old Testament 233 00:15:54,000 –> 00:15:56,700 when I was a student in London, 234 00:15:56,760 –> 00:15:59,619 then went on to become the Senior Professor 235 00:15:59,619 –> 00:16:03,400 of Old Testament at Fuller Theological Seminary, 236 00:16:03,400 –> 00:16:05,020 but here’s something very fascinating, 237 00:16:05,020 –> 00:16:09,940 while serving as a Senior Professor of Old Testament, 238 00:16:09,940 –> 00:16:14,700 he has also for 10 years at the same time 239 00:16:14,700 –> 00:16:17,119 served as a hospital chaplain. 240 00:16:17,119 –> 00:16:19,700 Isn’t that a remarkable combination? 241 00:16:19,700 –> 00:16:22,340 And he wrote, and this was one of the things 242 00:16:22,340 –> 00:16:25,239 that got me going on the Book of Lamentations, 243 00:16:25,280 –> 00:16:28,299 he wrote a very fascinating and helpful book 244 00:16:28,299 –> 00:16:33,119 in which, basically, he uses all that he has learned 245 00:16:33,119 –> 00:16:36,960 as an Old Testament professor from the Book of Lamentations 246 00:16:36,960 –> 00:16:39,780 to shine a light on the subject of grief. 247 00:16:40,679 –> 00:16:43,200 And then he uses everything that he’s learned 248 00:16:43,200 –> 00:16:45,520 from his experience as a hospital chaplain 249 00:16:45,520 –> 00:16:48,400 about grief to shine a light back 250 00:16:48,400 –> 00:16:50,960 on the Book of Lamentations. 251 00:16:52,359 –> 00:16:54,479 And he begins with the story of a young man 252 00:16:54,520 –> 00:16:56,419 by the name of Raymond, 253 00:16:56,419 –> 00:17:00,659 who was brought into the hospital where Leslie serves 254 00:17:00,659 –> 00:17:04,660 late one evening, as a precaution against suicide. 255 00:17:06,079 –> 00:17:10,760 Raymond was a Christian, he was a man in his early 20s, 256 00:17:12,160 –> 00:17:14,479 he was committed to church, 257 00:17:14,479 –> 00:17:17,319 he was active in leadership of the youth group. 258 00:17:18,439 –> 00:17:22,439 But he had gone through a series of tragedies 259 00:17:22,540 –> 00:17:25,540 that had cumulatively overwhelmed him, 260 00:17:25,540 –> 00:17:27,939 and that was why he was admitted to the hospital. 261 00:17:29,000 –> 00:17:32,680 He had lost his father, and then just a very few weeks later 262 00:17:32,680 –> 00:17:34,819 his mother had also died. 263 00:17:35,800 –> 00:17:37,599 And then just a month after that, 264 00:17:37,599 –> 00:17:42,599 his girlfriend had died of an overdose of drugs. 265 00:17:43,959 –> 00:17:46,760 And the chaplain of course was called for. 266 00:17:47,760 –> 00:17:50,619 And Leslie Ellin says, when I arrived 267 00:17:50,619 –> 00:17:54,199 I gently woke Raymond out of an exhausted sleep. 268 00:17:55,140 –> 00:17:59,500 Bleary-eyed, no doubt he was sedated at the time, too. 269 00:17:59,500 –> 00:18:03,599 Bleary-eyed, he sat up in bed, and he said, 270 00:18:03,599 –> 00:18:05,339 all I want to do is sleep. 271 00:18:06,619 –> 00:18:10,020 Leslie says, I realized that this was not the occasion 272 00:18:10,020 –> 00:18:12,979 for a long pastoral interchange. 273 00:18:14,140 –> 00:18:17,219 What short message could I leave this man 274 00:18:17,219 –> 00:18:18,640 about the way forward? 275 00:18:19,479 –> 00:18:21,380 I thought for a moment and I said, 276 00:18:21,380 –> 00:18:24,819 I want to leave three words with you, Raymond. 277 00:18:25,939 –> 00:18:30,760 Tears, talk, and time. 278 00:18:32,420 –> 00:18:35,319 I added a brief sentence to each word 279 00:18:35,319 –> 00:18:37,479 and then told him to go back to sleep 280 00:18:37,479 –> 00:18:41,880 and to remember these three words when he woke up. 281 00:18:43,079 –> 00:18:47,479 Tears, talk and time. 282 00:18:49,640 –> 00:18:52,000 Let’s think about tears. 283 00:18:52,000 –> 00:18:53,560 And from the book of Lamentations 284 00:18:53,560 –> 00:18:56,699 I want to say this to you, let them flow. 285 00:18:57,560 –> 00:19:01,319 Tears are very simply the shuddering of the body 286 00:19:01,319 –> 00:19:04,300 at the pain of the soul. 287 00:19:04,300 –> 00:19:07,500 Tears are a wonderful gift from God. 288 00:19:07,500 –> 00:19:12,500 He gave each of us those tear ducts for a reason. 289 00:19:12,599 –> 00:19:15,219 They are, for us, a release valve 290 00:19:15,219 –> 00:19:18,479 for pressure that otherwise may overwhelm us 291 00:19:18,479 –> 00:19:20,520 in our hearts and in our minds. 292 00:19:20,520 –> 00:19:22,900 So the scripture makes clear to us, 293 00:19:22,900 –> 00:19:24,339 as I will show you now, 294 00:19:24,339 –> 00:19:29,339 let the tears flow and don’t hold them back. 295 00:19:29,400 –> 00:19:32,040 Lamentations perhaps more than anything else 296 00:19:32,040 –> 00:19:34,800 is a book soaked in tears. 297 00:19:34,800 –> 00:19:36,400 So let me give you some examples. 298 00:19:36,400 –> 00:19:39,500 I’m going to quote seven scriptures from Lamentations. 299 00:19:39,500 –> 00:19:41,680 If you want to take down the references, do that, 300 00:19:41,680 –> 00:19:44,300 they will move quickly so you perhaps won’t be able 301 00:19:44,300 –> 00:19:45,760 to write down all the words. 302 00:19:45,760 –> 00:19:47,319 But you can pick up the references. 303 00:19:47,380 –> 00:19:51,420 The first is from Lamentations, chapter one and verse two, 304 00:19:51,420 –> 00:19:52,760 where we read this. 305 00:19:52,760 –> 00:19:56,479 She weeps bitterly in the night. 306 00:19:56,479 –> 00:19:58,739 Oh, it’s always harder in the night, isn’t it? 307 00:19:59,839 –> 00:20:02,459 With tears on her cheeks. 308 00:20:03,319 –> 00:20:05,319 Or chapter one and verse 16. 309 00:20:06,199 –> 00:20:09,339 For these things I weep. 310 00:20:09,339 –> 00:20:11,400 My eyes flow with tears 311 00:20:11,400 –> 00:20:14,540 for a comforter is far from me. 312 00:20:15,400 –> 00:20:17,579 Or chapter two and verse 11. 313 00:20:17,579 –> 00:20:22,000 My eyes are spent with weeping. 314 00:20:23,040 –> 00:20:26,219 Or chapter three and verse 48. 315 00:20:26,219 –> 00:20:30,599 My eyes flow with rivers of tears 316 00:20:30,599 –> 00:20:34,660 because of the destruction of the daughter of my people. 317 00:20:35,619 –> 00:20:38,520 Or chapter three and verse 49. 318 00:20:38,520 –> 00:20:42,500 My eyes will flow without ceasing, 319 00:20:42,619 –> 00:20:46,900 without respite until the Lord from Heaven 320 00:20:46,900 –> 00:20:49,760 looks down and sees. 321 00:20:51,560 –> 00:20:53,079 Now I want you to notice this, 322 00:20:53,079 –> 00:20:56,839 that the tears run throughout the book. 323 00:20:56,839 –> 00:20:57,959 They’re not in chapter one 324 00:20:57,959 –> 00:20:59,839 and then they dry up and go away. 325 00:21:01,000 –> 00:21:02,520 The tears run throughout the book 326 00:21:02,520 –> 00:21:04,420 and that reminds us of something 327 00:21:04,420 –> 00:21:06,540 that the friends who gathered in our home 328 00:21:06,540 –> 00:21:10,140 on these evenings brought very clearly to my attention. 329 00:21:10,979 –> 00:21:15,979 The tears of grieving people come at unexpected times. 330 00:21:16,680 –> 00:21:18,839 You never know when they’re gonna come next. 331 00:21:20,199 –> 00:21:23,760 One member of our grief group reminded us of the hymn, 332 00:21:23,760 –> 00:21:28,199 when sorrows like sea billows roll. 333 00:21:28,199 –> 00:21:31,119 And she said, you know, that’s what it is, 334 00:21:31,119 –> 00:21:35,479 sorrows are like sea billows, they’re like waves. 335 00:21:35,479 –> 00:21:37,599 Sorrow comes in waves, she says, 336 00:21:37,800 –> 00:21:40,780 and often when you don’t expect it, 337 00:21:40,780 –> 00:21:44,839 a new wave can be set off by a sight, 338 00:21:44,839 –> 00:21:47,839 a sound, or even a smell. 339 00:21:49,119 –> 00:21:51,079 Another member of our group said, 340 00:21:51,079 –> 00:21:55,859 people often say to me, I don’t know what to say to you 341 00:21:55,859 –> 00:21:58,359 because I don’t want to make you cry. 342 00:21:59,319 –> 00:22:02,239 So I expect it’s probably some of us have said that to her. 343 00:22:03,199 –> 00:22:05,579 And she said, I just say to them, 344 00:22:06,579 –> 00:22:10,619 you’re not gonna take me any place I don’t live already. 345 00:22:12,359 –> 00:22:15,959 If you make me cry, you’re not gonna take me any place 346 00:22:15,959 –> 00:22:18,459 that I don’t live already. 347 00:22:19,520 –> 00:22:23,079 Now sometimes, of course, tears won’t come. 348 00:22:23,079 –> 00:22:26,699 And you have this also in the book of Lamentations. 349 00:22:26,699 –> 00:22:30,560 One member of our group said that when she heard 350 00:22:30,560 –> 00:22:34,180 of the sudden death of her son in a car accident, 351 00:22:34,180 –> 00:22:37,180 she said, I was in such a state of shock, 352 00:22:37,180 –> 00:22:41,400 I couldn’t cry for days, that was her testimony. 353 00:22:42,699 –> 00:22:45,939 And we look to Lamentations chapter one and verse 13. 354 00:22:45,939 –> 00:22:46,780 Do you see it there? 355 00:22:46,780 –> 00:22:51,739 It says He has left me stunned, stunned. 356 00:22:52,459 –> 00:22:56,560 Stunned is when I’m not registering anything. 357 00:22:57,660 –> 00:23:00,599 Sometimes the shock of a really great loss 358 00:23:00,599 –> 00:23:03,979 can be so great that it freezes the senses 359 00:23:03,979 –> 00:23:05,959 as it were for a time. 360 00:23:05,959 –> 00:23:08,640 I couldn’t cry for days, she said. 361 00:23:09,640 –> 00:23:12,339 And what you therefore expect to feel 362 00:23:12,339 –> 00:23:14,640 or even what you think you should feel, 363 00:23:14,640 –> 00:23:16,800 you find to your great surprise, 364 00:23:16,800 –> 00:23:20,800 you for sometime don’t seem to feel at all. 365 00:23:20,800 –> 00:23:21,780 Stunned. 366 00:23:23,560 –> 00:23:25,640 But Lamentations says to us, 367 00:23:25,640 –> 00:23:30,520 when the tears come, let them flow. 368 00:23:30,520 –> 00:23:32,119 Don’t hold them back. 369 00:23:32,119 –> 00:23:36,619 In fact, the exhortation is given to us very specifically. 370 00:23:36,619 –> 00:23:38,520 Let me give you another two examples. 371 00:23:38,520 –> 00:23:41,319 Lamentation’s chapter two in verse 18. 372 00:23:41,319 –> 00:23:46,319 Let tears stream down like a torrent day and night. 373 00:23:49,079 –> 00:23:51,599 Let them go. 374 00:23:51,599 –> 00:23:53,800 Let the tears flow when they come. 375 00:23:55,319 –> 00:23:58,560 Give yourself no rest, your eyes no respite, 376 00:23:58,579 –> 00:24:01,900 or, the following verse, pour out your heart 377 00:24:01,900 –> 00:24:06,900 like water before the presence of the Lord. 378 00:24:08,420 –> 00:24:11,400 Now, we’re being told something very, very important here, 379 00:24:11,400 –> 00:24:14,979 and it’s not only in regards to the loss of a loved one. 380 00:24:14,979 –> 00:24:17,300 It may be regards to other losses 381 00:24:17,300 –> 00:24:22,300 that need to be taken more seriously 382 00:24:23,939 –> 00:24:27,339 in our own grieving. 383 00:24:28,099 –> 00:24:29,760 Leslie Allen tells this, 384 00:24:29,760 –> 00:24:31,479 I use this just as one example 385 00:24:31,479 –> 00:24:34,699 to make you think of multiple other areas 386 00:24:34,699 –> 00:24:36,099 in which it might apply. 387 00:24:37,359 –> 00:24:40,359 He says this, I recall a patient 388 00:24:40,359 –> 00:24:43,780 who having undergone a mastectomy 389 00:24:43,780 –> 00:24:45,520 found it difficult to grieve 390 00:24:45,520 –> 00:24:48,680 because of, she said, her Christian faith. 391 00:24:50,040 –> 00:24:54,920 She thought that grief was a sign of spiritual weakness 392 00:24:54,920 –> 00:24:56,400 and a lack of trust. 393 00:24:58,199 –> 00:25:01,560 It had, she thought, to be stifled 394 00:25:02,439 –> 00:25:04,819 as being dishonoring to God 395 00:25:04,819 –> 00:25:07,300 to grieve that particular loss. 396 00:25:09,000 –> 00:25:11,219 Well, says Leslie Allen, 397 00:25:11,219 –> 00:25:16,219 lamentations belies such a stoic view. 398 00:25:16,699 –> 00:25:18,579 Now, he’s absolutely right. 399 00:25:18,579 –> 00:25:21,280 Here we have a book in the Bible 400 00:25:21,280 –> 00:25:24,579 that validates the tears of godly people, 401 00:25:24,579 –> 00:25:29,579 faithful people, in the face and in the experience of loss. 402 00:25:32,020 –> 00:25:34,619 That’s the first thing, tears. 403 00:25:34,619 –> 00:25:39,619 Here’s the second, talk, don’t hold it back. 404 00:25:40,800 –> 00:25:43,500 Now, here’s the most obvious statement, 405 00:25:43,500 –> 00:25:48,260 the entire book of Lamentations, five chapters, 406 00:25:48,260 –> 00:25:50,739 and they’re all poems in their own right, 407 00:25:50,739 –> 00:25:52,819 five distinct poems. 408 00:25:52,819 –> 00:25:56,199 They are all an expression of grief. 409 00:25:56,199 –> 00:26:01,199 They all do one thing, they put grief into words. 410 00:26:02,300 –> 00:26:06,099 Lamentations is a sustained outpouring of grief 411 00:26:06,099 –> 00:26:10,160 in which the painful details of what happened 412 00:26:10,160 –> 00:26:13,060 and all that was lost, they’re poured over, 413 00:26:13,060 –> 00:26:16,540 put into words, and expressed again 414 00:26:16,540 –> 00:26:18,780 and again and again and again. 415 00:26:18,780 –> 00:26:19,619 Read the whole book, 416 00:26:19,619 –> 00:26:22,500 and you’ll say this is being repeated many, many, many times. 417 00:26:22,500 –> 00:26:25,119 Yes, exactly, that’s what grief does. 418 00:26:25,119 –> 00:26:26,359 That is what it’s like. 419 00:26:28,319 –> 00:26:31,920 Leslie Allen quotes the words of Shakespeare in Macbeth. 420 00:26:31,920 –> 00:26:36,920 Give sorrow words, give sorrow words. 421 00:26:38,599 –> 00:26:42,079 Then Shakespeare adds the grief that does not speak 422 00:26:43,020 –> 00:26:46,760 whispers the o’er frought heart and bids it break. 423 00:26:46,760 –> 00:26:49,359 In other words, if there’s a grief that won’t speak, 424 00:26:50,040 –> 00:26:53,920 it tempts the very heart to break. 425 00:26:53,920 –> 00:26:58,900 Give sorrow words, and that’s what lamentations does. 426 00:26:58,900 –> 00:27:02,500 It is a community of believing people 427 00:27:03,739 –> 00:27:07,380 who are giving words to this unspeakable sorrow 428 00:27:07,380 –> 00:27:10,300 and loss that they have experienced. 429 00:27:11,780 –> 00:27:14,040 And you’ll be struck by the repetition 430 00:27:14,040 –> 00:27:18,520 in which again and again they go over the same thing. 431 00:27:19,959 –> 00:27:22,459 And speak of the same loss. 432 00:27:22,459 –> 00:27:24,180 Let me give you a picture. 433 00:27:25,359 –> 00:27:30,040 Imagine a priceless vase or at least 434 00:27:30,040 –> 00:27:32,239 one that’s really valuable to you. 435 00:27:32,239 –> 00:27:34,599 Or a vase, I think is how I should say it 436 00:27:34,599 –> 00:27:37,079 in this wonderful country, right? 437 00:27:37,079 –> 00:27:39,599 Or an ornament, okay? 438 00:27:39,599 –> 00:27:42,680 And here is this vase. 439 00:27:42,680 –> 00:27:47,079 And it’s dropped 440 00:27:47,079 –> 00:27:50,619 and it’s smashed into a 100 pieces. 441 00:27:53,040 –> 00:27:57,040 And here is the woman who loved that vase. 442 00:27:58,079 –> 00:27:58,920 And what does she do? 443 00:27:58,920 –> 00:28:00,640 She gets down on her knees 444 00:28:00,640 –> 00:28:03,540 and she picks up these pieces one by one 445 00:28:03,540 –> 00:28:04,599 and she holds them up 446 00:28:04,599 –> 00:28:06,280 and she looks at them. 447 00:28:07,520 –> 00:28:09,719 Turning around, as if almost to remember 448 00:28:09,719 –> 00:28:11,260 where was it in the vase 449 00:28:11,260 –> 00:28:13,579 that that piece actually belonged? 450 00:28:13,619 –> 00:28:15,079 And there it is. 451 00:28:15,079 –> 00:28:17,579 Something like that happens in grief 452 00:28:17,579 –> 00:28:19,339 and that is why very often, 453 00:28:19,339 –> 00:28:22,979 a grieving person will speak at great length 454 00:28:22,979 –> 00:28:25,060 about what seems to other, 455 00:28:25,060 –> 00:28:27,800 a tiny little detail, 456 00:28:28,859 –> 00:28:31,040 and you say well, why is that important to him? 457 00:28:31,040 –> 00:28:32,560 Why is that important to her 458 00:28:32,560 –> 00:28:33,540 in the big picture? 459 00:28:33,540 –> 00:28:34,719 Well, the point is, 460 00:28:34,719 –> 00:28:36,859 it’s part of the big picture 461 00:28:36,859 –> 00:28:40,140 and no matter how small the fragment might have been 462 00:28:40,140 –> 00:28:41,619 that the woman picks up, 463 00:28:41,619 –> 00:28:43,500 it was part of the vase 464 00:28:43,939 –> 00:28:45,780 and that’s why she looks at it 465 00:28:45,780 –> 00:28:48,359 so wistfully and so longingly 466 00:28:48,359 –> 00:28:50,280 and with such great sadness 467 00:28:50,280 –> 00:28:54,560 even over that very, very small part. 468 00:28:54,560 –> 00:28:57,060 It was part of something valued, 469 00:28:58,040 –> 00:29:00,079 part of something dearly loved. 470 00:29:01,300 –> 00:29:03,160 So now God has given to us 471 00:29:03,160 –> 00:29:05,199 this whole book of the Bible 472 00:29:05,199 –> 00:29:10,199 that is a sustained outpouring of grief 473 00:29:10,579 –> 00:29:14,800 in which loss is put into words 474 00:29:14,800 –> 00:29:18,800 and it is expressed over and over and over again. 475 00:29:18,800 –> 00:29:23,560 Surely in this God is telling us 476 00:29:23,560 –> 00:29:28,239 something very important about how to grieve, 477 00:29:30,060 –> 00:29:31,239 tears and talk. 478 00:29:32,479 –> 00:29:37,479 Let the tears flow and don’t hold the words back. 479 00:29:37,680 –> 00:29:38,420 Let the tears flow and don’t hold the words back. 480 00:29:40,160 –> 00:29:44,520 The biographer, or a biographer of G. K. Chesterton 481 00:29:44,520 –> 00:29:49,520 tells of how his sister, Beatrice 482 00:29:50,560 –> 00:29:53,839 died when she was just eight years old. 483 00:29:54,880 –> 00:29:58,319 And so Chesterton’s also a little boy, growing up. 484 00:29:59,520 –> 00:30:04,280 And I quote, Chesterton’s father responded 485 00:30:05,239 –> 00:30:09,880 by turning Beatrice’s picture to the wall, 486 00:30:09,880 –> 00:30:12,739 getting rid of all her possessions, 487 00:30:13,760 –> 00:30:16,819 and forbidding anyone to mention her name. 488 00:30:19,839 –> 00:30:21,739 That’s done, we’re moving on, you see. 489 00:30:23,579 –> 00:30:25,739 Now you couldn’t have anything more opposite 490 00:30:25,739 –> 00:30:28,180 from what God is teaching us here 491 00:30:28,180 –> 00:30:30,880 in the Book of Lamentations. 492 00:30:30,880 –> 00:30:33,060 Thankfully, I think our culture today 493 00:30:33,060 –> 00:30:35,180 is much, much, much more in touch 494 00:30:35,180 –> 00:30:39,459 with the importance of speaking about our pain and our loss. 495 00:30:39,459 –> 00:30:41,040 But here’s the thing friends, 496 00:30:41,040 –> 00:30:45,500 a grieving person can only speak about their pain and loss 497 00:30:45,500 –> 00:30:50,060 if others of us are ready and willing to listen. 498 00:30:51,219 –> 00:30:53,619 There’s two sides to every conversation. 499 00:30:55,500 –> 00:30:59,699 Donald Howard, a pastor whose wife died at the age of 40 500 00:30:59,699 –> 00:31:01,619 and wrote a very helpful little booklet 501 00:31:01,660 –> 00:31:05,380 called Christians Grieve Too, he says this. 502 00:31:05,380 –> 00:31:07,800 Let the bereaved speak. 503 00:31:09,099 –> 00:31:11,380 Statements such as, 504 00:31:12,500 –> 00:31:14,439 you must often think of the time 505 00:31:14,439 –> 00:31:17,760 when you did such and such together 506 00:31:17,760 –> 00:3:21,900 can be helpful ways of opening up that conversation. 507 00:31:21,900 –> 00:31:23,459 In other words, he’s saying just, 508 00:31:23,459 –> 00:31:24,979 it’s actually a good thing 509 00:31:25,800 –> 00:31:28,339 when someone is in the place of sorrow 510 00:31:28,339 –> 00:31:29,979 for you to find some ways 511 00:31:30,119 –> 00:31:32,660 that naturally opens up conversation 512 00:31:32,660 –> 00:31:35,760 that allows them, invites them 513 00:31:35,760 –> 00:31:39,020 to be able to speak about the one 514 00:31:39,979 –> 00:31:43,280 who is always on their minds. 515 00:31:43,280 –> 00:31:45,859 Then he says this, and I’m sure we’ll all recognize it. 516 00:31:45,859 –> 00:31:49,099 He says often, it’s the opposite that happens. 517 00:31:49,099 –> 00:31:51,880 A typical illustration of the opposite, he says, 518 00:31:51,880 –> 00:31:55,959 is of a widow whose friends are talking with her 519 00:31:55,959 –> 00:31:58,540 when one of them remembers a funny story 520 00:31:58,619 –> 00:31:59,579 about the husband. 521 00:31:59,579 –> 00:32:02,020 But he stops himself from telling it 522 00:32:02,020 –> 00:32:04,300 out of consideration for the widow. 523 00:32:05,520 –> 00:32:08,540 And like everyone else, just steers the conversation 524 00:32:08,540 –> 00:32:11,719 away from the husband’s life altogether. 525 00:32:13,060 –> 00:32:15,660 Now, he says, had he told the story, 526 00:32:16,739 –> 00:32:18,540 she would probably have laughed, 527 00:32:18,540 –> 00:32:21,900 and perhaps there might have been a tear or two in her eyes. 528 00:32:22,979 –> 00:32:24,699 But she would have thought it wonderful 529 00:32:24,699 –> 00:32:26,699 that he was still remembered. 530 00:32:27,619 –> 00:32:29,500 And then this. 531 00:32:29,500 –> 00:32:34,500 Part of the congregation’s task as time goes by 532 00:32:34,780 –> 00:32:39,780 is to help keep the memory of loved ones alive. 533 00:32:39,900 –> 00:32:41,300 That’s worth holding on to. 534 00:32:42,219 –> 00:32:44,099 Part of our responsibility, 535 00:32:44,099 –> 00:32:46,500 and part of how we can help those 536 00:32:46,500 –> 00:32:48,339 who are walking in the valley of grief 537 00:32:48,339 –> 00:32:49,579 and suffering and loss 538 00:32:50,520 –> 00:32:54,939 is by actively keeping the memory 539 00:32:54,959 –> 00:32:58,099 of one who is now gone from among us 540 00:32:58,099 –> 00:33:00,439 alive and present, 541 00:33:00,439 –> 00:33:03,660 because that memory is alive and present 542 00:33:03,660 –> 00:33:08,239 in the mind and heart of the grieving person every day. 543 00:33:08,239 –> 00:33:12,239 The question for them is, does anyone else remember? 544 00:33:12,239 –> 00:33:13,939 Does anyone else really care? 545 00:33:15,500 –> 00:33:18,540 So now let’s remember this. 546 00:33:20,099 –> 00:33:24,400 We’ve thought about the importance of the congregation 547 00:33:25,140 –> 00:33:27,579 and Lamentations is the wailing, really, 548 00:33:27,579 –> 00:33:29,560 of a congregation together, 549 00:33:30,500 –> 00:33:33,579 of us being able to listen so that others 550 00:33:33,579 –> 00:33:38,339 may have a way to weep with those who weep 551 00:33:38,339 –> 00:33:42,420 and may have a place in which they can speak 552 00:33:42,420 –> 00:33:44,380 and know that others will listen. 553 00:33:45,619 –> 00:33:48,660 Lamentations really is giving us a wonderful picture 554 00:33:48,660 –> 00:33:50,619 of what we’re commanded in the New Testament. 555 00:33:50,619 –> 00:33:53,140 We are to weep with those who weep 556 00:33:54,140 –> 00:33:56,319 as we are to rejoice with those who rejoice. 557 00:33:56,319 –> 00:33:58,979 But, remember this now. 558 00:33:58,979 –> 00:34:02,640 There are two sides to weeping with those who weep. 559 00:34:02,640 –> 00:34:05,119 The first is there must be brothers and sisters 560 00:34:05,119 –> 00:34:06,780 who are ready to listen. 561 00:34:06,780 –> 00:34:09,100 There must be those who are ready to sit down 562 00:34:09,100 –> 00:34:11,280 and to take time and to identify 563 00:34:11,280 –> 00:34:13,760 with the sorrow of the one who is bereaved. 564 00:34:13,760 –> 00:34:15,959 But, if that is to happen, 565 00:34:17,580 –> 00:34:20,800 the one who grieves must also be ready 566 00:34:20,800 –> 00:34:23,540 to allow some brothers and sisters 567 00:34:23,540 –> 00:34:26,020 into their own sorrow. 568 00:34:27,879 –> 00:34:29,679 Here, there’s a challenge as well 569 00:34:29,679 –> 00:34:32,899 for the person who is experiencing loss. 570 00:34:32,899 –> 00:34:34,679 See, it’s very easy to put up 571 00:34:34,679 –> 00:34:37,639 what we sometimes call a brave front 572 00:34:37,639 –> 00:34:40,459 or put up a brave face, 573 00:34:40,459 –> 00:34:42,979 to say, oh no, I don’t want any sadness. 574 00:34:43,840 –> 00:34:46,939 I only want to remember the celebration of life. 575 00:34:48,879 –> 00:34:50,600 Then, you see what that means 576 00:34:51,320 –> 00:34:52,139 and that is that you determine 577 00:34:52,139 –> 00:34:55,840 that you will only weep on your own. 578 00:34:57,600 –> 00:35:00,239 And that’s not what we find in lamentations. 579 00:35:02,340 –> 00:35:06,800 God calls your brothers and sisters in Christ 580 00:35:06,800 –> 00:35:07,919 to weep with you. 581 00:35:07,919 –> 00:35:09,760 There’s also a question here 582 00:35:09,760 –> 00:35:11,860 as to whether you, dearly loved, 583 00:35:11,860 –> 00:35:15,139 bereaved, person, are willing to let them. 584 00:35:17,060 –> 00:35:19,639 Who will be one 585 00:35:19,699 –> 00:35:21,760 with whom you will share your weeping? 586 00:35:21,760 –> 00:35:22,699 Won’t be everyone, 587 00:35:23,840 –> 00:35:25,320 but with whom will that be? 588 00:35:27,239 –> 00:35:31,459 Who will you allow into the experience 589 00:35:31,459 –> 00:35:33,120 of your sorrow and loss 590 00:35:33,120 –> 00:35:36,879 that they may seek, by the grace of God, 591 00:35:37,899 –> 00:35:40,800 to walk with you in it? 592 00:35:40,800 –> 00:35:43,840 The body of Christ 593 00:35:43,840 –> 00:35:48,260 is a wonderful part of God’s provision for you. 594 00:35:49,060 –> 00:35:51,820 And what that means in regards to sorrow and loss 595 00:35:51,820 –> 00:35:55,100 is that we are given the privilege 596 00:35:55,100 –> 00:35:59,879 and the calling of allowing some others in. 597 00:36:02,959 –> 00:36:04,879 And then there’s one more thing, 598 00:36:04,879 –> 00:36:06,659 and it’s simply this. 599 00:36:06,659 –> 00:36:09,919 Tears, talk, 600 00:36:09,919 –> 00:36:12,280 and here’s the third thing I want to say, 601 00:36:12,280 –> 00:36:16,560 tears, talk and Christ. 602 00:36:16,560 –> 00:36:19,100 Tears, talk, and Christ, 603 00:36:20,479 –> 00:36:22,439 because you can’t speak about tears, 604 00:36:22,439 –> 00:36:24,719 you can’t speak about talk without your mind 605 00:36:24,719 –> 00:36:28,439 very, very quickly going to our Lord Jesus Christ. 606 00:36:28,439 –> 00:36:30,780 Remember the Bible tells us this, 607 00:36:30,780 –> 00:36:33,560 Jesus wept. 608 00:36:34,479 –> 00:36:37,159 When Lazarus, who Jesus loved, died, 609 00:36:37,159 –> 00:36:38,979 our Lord came to Bethany. 610 00:36:38,979 –> 00:36:41,679 And when he arrived, Martha came out to meet him, 611 00:36:41,679 –> 00:36:43,060 then later Mary. 612 00:36:43,060 –> 00:36:45,399 These are two women who are grieving 613 00:36:45,739 –> 00:36:48,459 the death of their dearly loved brother. 614 00:36:49,820 –> 00:36:52,199 You remember that when Jesus saw Mary weeping 615 00:36:52,199 –> 00:36:54,399 and the Jews who’d come also weeping, 616 00:36:54,399 –> 00:36:59,399 Jesus was deeply moved from the very core of his being, 617 00:36:59,540 –> 00:37:00,639 compassion. 618 00:37:02,080 –> 00:37:03,520 And he was greatly troubled. 619 00:37:04,919 –> 00:37:07,780 He said to Mary, where have you laid him? 620 00:37:07,780 –> 00:37:11,260 They said to him, Lord come and see. 621 00:37:11,260 –> 00:37:14,340 In John 11, verse 35, Jesus wept. 622 00:37:16,360 –> 00:37:17,919 Why did he weep? 623 00:37:20,120 –> 00:37:23,020 He knew that in five minutes he was gonna raise 624 00:37:23,020 –> 00:37:24,419 Lazarus from the dead. 625 00:37:24,419 –> 00:37:27,219 The resurrection is five minutes away for this brother. 626 00:37:28,439 –> 00:37:33,100 He told Martha your brother will rise again. 627 00:37:34,860 –> 00:37:39,300 He did not say to Martha because your brother 628 00:37:39,300 –> 00:37:41,899 will rise again don’t grieve, he did not say that. 629 00:37:42,540 –> 00:37:47,540 No, he is the resurrection and he is the life. 630 00:37:49,179 –> 00:37:54,199 But he weeps with Martha and Mary over their loss. 631 00:37:56,620 –> 00:37:59,780 And friends please never forget God is intimately involved 632 00:37:59,780 –> 00:38:01,699 always with the grief of his people. 633 00:38:01,699 –> 00:38:03,500 There’s a beautiful verse in the Psalms 634 00:38:03,500 –> 00:38:04,500 that speaks about this. 635 00:38:04,500 –> 00:38:07,439 I hope you know it and if not then you’ll note it down 636 00:38:07,439 –> 00:38:10,459 and remember it for a time of grief or sorrow. 637 00:38:11,379 –> 00:38:12,760 It speaks in the Psalms about 638 00:38:12,760 –> 00:38:17,760 God gathering our tears in a bottle. 639 00:38:19,199 –> 00:38:21,040 It’s a beautiful beautiful picture. 640 00:38:21,040 –> 00:38:24,580 You have kept count of my tossings. 641 00:38:24,580 –> 00:38:25,399 Think about that. 642 00:38:25,399 –> 00:38:29,939 Every time you’ve turned in your bed on a sleepless night 643 00:38:29,939 –> 00:38:32,399 it is known completely to God. 644 00:38:32,399 –> 00:38:36,800 And then the psalmist says put my tears in your bottle. 645 00:38:36,820 –> 00:38:41,280 Are they not in your book? 646 00:38:42,239 –> 00:38:43,360 See what that’s saying? 647 00:38:44,600 –> 00:38:48,459 Every tear that has ever come from your eye 648 00:38:48,459 –> 00:38:50,080 and this is both eyes, 649 00:38:51,520 –> 00:38:55,479 is completely known to God, your heavenly father. 650 00:38:55,479 –> 00:38:58,199 Not a single tear that you have ever shed 651 00:38:58,199 –> 00:39:00,939 in your life will ever be forgotten by Him. 652 00:39:02,280 –> 00:39:05,179 The tears of God’s children are precious to God. 653 00:39:05,179 –> 00:39:09,620 They are part of why He sent His son into the world. 654 00:39:11,100 –> 00:39:13,260 There are so many wonderful statements in the Bible 655 00:39:13,260 –> 00:39:14,979 of why Jesus Christ came 656 00:39:14,979 –> 00:39:17,580 but one is this from Isaiah in chapter 61, 657 00:39:17,580 –> 00:39:20,939 the Messiah says, the spirit of the Lord is upon me, 658 00:39:20,939 –> 00:39:23,379 why, because the Lord has anointed me. 659 00:39:23,379 –> 00:39:26,419 Why, to bind up the brokenhearted. 660 00:39:26,419 –> 00:39:29,300 This is why I come into the world, says Jesus. 661 00:39:30,540 –> 00:39:32,699 To comfort those who mourn 662 00:39:32,719 –> 00:39:35,439 that they may be called oaks of righteousness, 663 00:39:35,439 –> 00:39:37,080 that you will be able to stand 664 00:39:37,080 –> 00:39:39,580 and not be destroyed in the sorrow 665 00:39:39,580 –> 00:39:41,860 that you are navigating your way through. 666 00:39:42,939 –> 00:39:46,219 Our Lord Jesus wonderfully is known in the Scripture 667 00:39:46,219 –> 00:39:50,100 as the man of sorrow as who was acquainted with grief. 668 00:39:50,100 –> 00:39:51,659 In the garden of Gethsemane, 669 00:39:51,659 –> 00:39:53,500 He knew what it was to say, 670 00:39:53,500 –> 00:39:57,080 my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow. 671 00:39:58,040 –> 00:40:00,860 So when you feel in your heart of hearts 672 00:40:00,860 –> 00:40:03,000 overwhelmed with sorrow, 673 00:40:04,280 –> 00:40:07,580 you’re Savior has been there. 674 00:40:09,060 –> 00:40:13,639 And you have a Savior who knows what it is to weep. 675 00:40:15,080 –> 00:40:17,719 And you also have a Savior to whom you can talk. 676 00:40:19,159 –> 00:40:22,379 There’s a great gulf fixed between our world 677 00:40:22,379 –> 00:40:25,919 and the world that is to come. 678 00:40:26,000 –> 00:40:28,040 And when a loved one has died, 679 00:40:28,040 –> 00:40:32,760 you cannot talk to that loved person. 680 00:40:32,760 –> 00:40:37,760 But if your loved one is with Christ, 681 00:40:37,800 –> 00:40:41,020 you can talk with Christ about your loved one, 682 00:40:41,020 –> 00:40:43,020 and that’s a very, very wonderful thing. 683 00:40:44,239 –> 00:40:47,679 You can talk to the Savior about the loved one 684 00:40:47,679 –> 00:40:51,959 who is in his house with him. 685 00:40:52,919 –> 00:40:57,659 You can tell the Savior how much you miss that loved one. 686 00:40:58,659 –> 00:41:03,659 You can tell the Savior how much you love them. 687 00:41:03,679 –> 00:41:06,520 You can bring the pain of your loss 688 00:41:06,520 –> 00:41:10,760 to the Savior, who is familiar with sorrow, 689 00:41:10,760 –> 00:41:12,899 familiar with grief. 690 00:41:14,399 –> 00:41:16,560 Now, friends, one day God will very wonderfully 691 00:41:16,560 –> 00:41:18,439 wipe all tears from our eyes. 692 00:41:18,439 –> 00:41:20,719 Literally, the Bible says, 693 00:41:20,760 –> 00:41:23,719 He will wipe all tears out of our eyes, 694 00:41:23,719 –> 00:41:26,600 as if to convey that He would take away 695 00:41:26,600 –> 00:41:28,739 not only the tears, but the very source 696 00:41:28,739 –> 00:41:31,120 of sorrow itself, as if the ducts themselves 697 00:41:31,120 –> 00:41:33,260 were finally removed in the new heaven 698 00:41:33,260 –> 00:41:35,159 and the new earth, and the resurrection body, 699 00:41:35,159 –> 00:41:37,600 because such will not be needed. 700 00:41:39,320 –> 00:41:40,800 Lord hasten that day. 701 00:41:42,239 –> 00:41:44,179 But that day has not come yet. 702 00:41:45,739 –> 00:41:49,219 Until then, there will be tears. 703 00:41:50,199 –> 00:41:53,040 But there is also the Man of Sorrows, 704 00:41:53,040 –> 00:41:57,060 acquainted with grief, who says in this book, 705 00:41:57,060 –> 00:42:00,620 see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow. 706 00:42:01,719 –> 00:42:06,719 He plumbed the depths of sorrow when he died on the cross, 707 00:42:08,179 –> 00:42:13,179 and no one, no one is more ready or more able 708 00:42:15,620 –> 00:42:18,120 to walk through the valley of grief, sorrow, 709 00:42:18,120 –> 00:42:23,120 and loss with you than Jesus Christ. 710 00:42:23,179 –> 00:42:27,620 Father, for such a Savior, 711 00:42:27,620 –> 00:42:32,620 we give to you our thanks and our praise 712 00:42:34,340 –> 00:42:39,340 through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen. 713 00:42:44,060 –> 00:42:45,600 You’ve been listening to a sermon 714 00:42:45,600 –> 00:42:47,699 with Pastor Colin Smith of Open the Bible 715 00:42:47,699 –> 00:42:48,739 to contact us. 716 00:42:48,739 –> 00:42:52,959 Call us at 1-877-OPEN365 717 00:42:52,959 –> 00:42:56,560 or visit our website, openthebible.org.

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Colin Smith

Trustee / Founder and Teaching Pastor

Colin Smith is the Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near – So Far. Colin is the Founder and Teaching Pastor for Open the Bible. Follow him on X formerly Twitter.

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