1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:27,500 I want to speak today about four ways in which we can reflect the heart of God. 2 00:00:27,500 –> 00:00:34,980 And to speak today has been the theme in our service especially to the men of the church. 3 00:00:34,980 –> 00:00:43,459 For the men we are going to face four priorities for us to pursue. 4 00:00:43,459 –> 00:00:51,799 For the women, let’s look at these as four ways in which we can pray for the men in your 5 00:00:51,799 –> 00:00:53,820 life. 6 00:00:53,900 –> 00:01:00,220 David is described in the Bible several times as a man after God’s own heart and that description 7 00:01:00,240 –> 00:01:05,760 was first used by Samuel when he told Saul, the first king of Israel, that his kingdom 8 00:01:05,760 –> 00:01:08,680 would not continue. 9 00:01:08,680 –> 00:01:15,300 And in 1 Samuel, 13 and verse 14, Samuel says to Saul, the Lord has sought out a man after 10 00:01:15,300 –> 00:01:21,300 his own heart and he was referring to David who was soon raised up. 11 00:01:21,339 –> 00:01:23,739 A man after God’s own heart. 12 00:01:23,739 –> 00:01:29,540 Of course that doesn’t mean that David was perfect, far from it, he was strong willed, 13 00:01:29,540 –> 00:01:36,540 he was sometimes impulsive and he both accomplished great things and in his life also there were 14 00:01:37,139 –> 00:01:41,419 some great failures, so sometimes as we look over the life of David as we’re going to 15 00:01:41,419 –> 00:01:46,919 today, sometimes we’re learning from him by way of example and other times we’re learning 16 00:01:46,919 –> 00:01:49,500 from him by way of contrast. 17 00:01:50,300 –> 00:01:52,760 But I want to frame the question then. 18 00:01:52,760 –> 00:01:59,120 What does it mean to be a man after God’s own heart? 19 00:01:59,120 –> 00:02:00,839 What does that look like? 20 00:02:00,839 –> 00:02:07,540 I want to give 4 answers to that question from the life of David some by example, some 21 00:02:07,540 –> 00:02:12,500 by contrast, all from the scriptures and so I hope you’ll have your bible in front of 22 00:02:12,500 –> 00:02:16,000 you as we look at a number of passages today. 23 00:02:16,000 –> 00:02:19,399 How can you be a man after God’s own heart? 24 00:02:20,059 –> 00:02:25,639 Number 1, be filled with God’s love. 25 00:02:26,000 –> 00:02:31,419 I think this is the first thing to grasp about David this extraordinary man that he knew 26 00:02:31,419 –> 00:02:36,899 and experienced the love of God in his own life in a profound way. 27 00:02:36,899 –> 00:02:43,660 He speaks in the Psalms many times about his own love for God, but he speaks far more often 28 00:02:43,660 –> 00:02:47,419 about his experience of God’s love for him. 29 00:02:47,419 –> 00:02:53,539 So he talks again and again about your love, your love is ever before me, Psalm 26. 30 00:02:53,539 –> 00:02:57,360 Your love is better than life, Psalm 63. 31 00:02:57,360 –> 00:03:02,960 Great is your love toward me, Psalm 86. 32 00:03:02,960 –> 00:03:11,460 And when you experience God’s love in your own life it enables you then to love Him and 33 00:03:11,460 –> 00:03:16,179 it expands your capacity to love other people. 34 00:03:16,179 –> 00:03:21,940 I think it’s worth remembering that there are really two kinds of love. 35 00:03:21,940 –> 00:03:27,699 One is a response to attractiveness in a person who is loved. 36 00:03:27,699 –> 00:03:29,919 And of course, that’s easy. 37 00:03:29,919 –> 00:03:35,699 It’s natural to respond to attraction, instinctive. 38 00:03:35,740 –> 00:03:41,380 We all love the Chicago Bears, but we love them more when they’re winning, because that 39 00:03:41,380 –> 00:03:44,100 makes them more attractive. 40 00:03:44,100 –> 00:03:49,259 And the first kind of love is the impulse by which we are naturally drawn to that which 41 00:03:49,259 –> 00:03:51,279 is attractive to us. 42 00:03:51,279 –> 00:03:57,759 Now, this kind of love is a good thing, but it is obviously unstable because it depends 43 00:03:57,759 –> 00:03:59,839 on attraction. 44 00:03:59,839 –> 00:04:03,320 But God’s love is different. 45 00:04:04,300 –> 00:04:09,479 You ask the question, did God love us because we were so attractive to him that he became 46 00:04:09,479 –> 00:04:12,440 completely smitten with us and just couldn’t help himself? 47 00:04:12,440 –> 00:04:19,079 No, God loved us while we were still sinners, while we were still his enemies. 48 00:04:19,079 –> 00:04:27,320 God’s love is not a reaction to anything that is in us, it is not a response, it is an expression 49 00:04:27,320 –> 00:04:31,640 of everything that is in the character of God. 50 00:04:31,679 –> 00:04:36,239 So God’s love is love of a different kind, it is not based on the attractiveness of the 51 00:04:36,239 –> 00:04:41,480 one who is loved but it is based on the character of the one who loves. 52 00:04:41,480 –> 00:04:46,760 Now, there is obviously a huge difference between these two things. 53 00:04:46,760 –> 00:04:51,420 The first is natural, the second is spiritual. 54 00:04:51,420 –> 00:04:55,679 The first is easy, how do you get the second? 55 00:04:55,679 –> 00:05:00,299 The only way you can get the second is if the love of God comes to live in your heart 56 00:05:00,299 –> 00:05:06,079 and that’s what happens when you believe the gospel. 57 00:05:06,079 –> 00:05:11,119 God demonstrates his own love for us in this while we were still sinners, Christ died for 58 00:05:11,119 –> 00:05:15,600 us and when we come to believe and embrace the gospel, the promise that we’re given in 59 00:05:15,600 –> 00:05:24,000 Romans chapter 5 is that the love of God is poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit. 60 00:05:24,000 –> 00:05:27,559 Now let’s face it, there are many marriages that are struggling because the first kind 61 00:05:27,559 –> 00:05:29,760 of love isn’t working. 62 00:05:29,760 –> 00:05:32,179 It’s unstable. 63 00:05:32,179 –> 00:05:40,320 Attraction grows and diminishes, changes, moves and you cannot sustain stable relationships 64 00:05:40,320 –> 00:05:42,279 on the first kind of love alone. 65 00:05:42,279 –> 00:05:43,279 You need what? 66 00:05:43,279 –> 00:05:44,959 The second kind. 67 00:05:44,959 –> 00:05:50,519 The kind that is not based on a kind of response to the attractiveness of the one who is loved 68 00:05:50,519 –> 00:05:54,899 but rather as an expression of character on the part of the one who loves. 69 00:05:54,899 –> 00:05:59,980 In other words, that the love of God has, in some real sense, come to be incarnated, 70 00:05:59,980 –> 00:06:05,019 to be born within your own soul and within your life. 71 00:06:05,019 –> 00:06:11,880 And so if we are to be men after God’s own heart, I want to suggest that this is where 72 00:06:11,880 –> 00:06:13,480 we have to begin. 73 00:06:13,480 –> 00:06:17,019 Be filled with the love of God. 74 00:06:17,179 –> 00:06:25,179 There is nothing more foundational for healthy, stable families than this. 75 00:06:25,179 –> 00:06:32,299 That we have learned God’s kind of love because we are experiencing it in our own souls as 76 00:06:32,299 –> 00:06:37,140 those who have come to believe the gospel and receive the spirit. 77 00:06:37,140 –> 00:06:41,200 Now, we see this in David’s life in many, many wonderful ways. 78 00:06:41,200 –> 00:06:45,519 Because he knew God’s love, your love. 79 00:06:45,519 –> 00:06:50,940 He had an expanded heart towards others, even towards his enemies. 80 00:06:50,940 –> 00:06:58,380 Extraordinary grace being shown to Saul and to Mephibosheth, a descendant of Saul’s. 81 00:06:58,380 –> 00:07:05,100 And, the remarkable way in which David was able to express love, even in situations where 82 00:07:05,100 –> 00:07:11,359 you couldn’t base it on attraction, was a reflection of his knowledge of the love of 83 00:07:11,359 –> 00:07:15,059 God in his own life. 84 00:07:15,059 –> 00:07:16,359 Here’s the foundation then. 85 00:07:16,359 –> 00:07:20,839 You want to be a man after God’s own heart, be filled with the love of God that comes 86 00:07:20,839 –> 00:07:28,279 as you believe the gospel and as the love of God is poured out into your heart by the 87 00:07:28,279 –> 00:07:29,380 Holy Spirit. 88 00:07:29,380 –> 00:07:33,859 And by the way, a note for the ladies. 89 00:07:33,859 –> 00:07:40,760 If you’re in a situation of considering committing yourself to a man who’s interested in you, 90 00:07:41,040 –> 00:07:44,320 Don’t just ask, is he besotted with me? 91 00:07:44,320 –> 00:07:48,299 See, that’s a question about the first kind of love, and if that’s all you’re interested 92 00:07:48,299 –> 00:07:53,339 in, you’re likely to be disappointed. 93 00:07:53,339 –> 00:08:01,899 Ask also, what evidence is there that he has a capacity for love that flows, not just from 94 00:08:01,899 –> 00:08:06,700 response to attraction but flows from character. 95 00:08:06,700 –> 00:08:11,459 In other words, what experience did he have of the love of God? 96 00:08:11,459 –> 00:08:16,640 What does he know of this in his life? 97 00:08:16,640 –> 00:08:22,820 A man after God’s own heart, number one, be filled with God’s love. 98 00:08:22,820 –> 00:08:29,019 Number two, to be a man after God’s own heart, be loyal to your wife. 99 00:08:29,019 –> 00:08:30,459 Now here’s an interesting thing. 100 00:08:30,459 –> 00:08:38,940 When it comes to loyalty, David did better with his friends than he did with his family. 101 00:08:38,940 –> 00:08:42,159 He had a deep loyalty to Jonathan. 102 00:08:42,159 –> 00:08:46,659 He had an extraordinary loyalty to Saul. 103 00:08:46,659 –> 00:08:53,979 He had an intense loyalty to his own group of 400 fighting men, who also returned that 104 00:08:53,979 –> 00:08:56,820 great loyalty to him. 105 00:08:56,900 –> 00:09:02,599 So intense loyalty to his friends, and even in Saul’s case, his enemy, but he didn’t 106 00:09:02,599 –> 00:09:06,080 do so well when it came to his wife. 107 00:09:06,080 –> 00:09:10,520 It was common, of course, for kings in those days, throughout the ancient world, to have 108 00:09:10,520 –> 00:09:12,780 many wives. 109 00:09:12,780 –> 00:09:18,159 But did you know, by the way, that that God had specifically commanded in the Old Testament 110 00:09:18,159 –> 00:09:22,119 that Israel’s king was to be different in this regard. 111 00:09:22,119 –> 00:09:27,739 If you turn to Deuteronomy chapter 17 and verse 17, you’ll see it very clearly there, 112 00:09:27,739 –> 00:09:33,059 Deuteronomy chapter 17 and verse 17. 113 00:09:33,059 –> 00:09:44,419 God says about the king in Israel, he must not take many wives, or his heart will be 114 00:09:44,419 –> 00:09:47,659 led astray. 115 00:09:47,900 –> 00:09:52,739 Now, I know it was common practice for kings to be polygamous in the ancient world, but 116 00:09:52,739 –> 00:09:57,460 God said in the book of Deuteronomy for Israel’s king, it must be different, He must not take 117 00:09:57,460 –> 00:10:00,020 many wives as is the common practice. 118 00:10:00,020 –> 00:10:05,919 Simply, David did not keep that commandment. 119 00:10:05,919 –> 00:10:13,260 He married Mechel, the daughter of Saul, he married Abigail after the death of her first 120 00:10:13,260 –> 00:10:22,099 husband, Nabal, and he married Bathsheba after the death of her husband, Uriah. 121 00:10:22,099 –> 00:10:26,820 Then if you look in Second Samuel in chapter 5 in verse 13 you will see that wasn’t the 122 00:10:26,820 –> 00:10:28,140 end of it. 123 00:10:28,140 –> 00:10:34,940 Second Samuel chapter 5 in verse 13, after David left Hebron he took more concubines 124 00:10:34,940 –> 00:10:42,919 and wives in Jerusalem, and more sons and daughters were born to him. 125 00:10:42,919 –> 00:10:47,500 And we have to say that David was not loyal to his wife. 126 00:10:47,500 –> 00:10:52,520 This was an area of his life that frankly was out of control. 127 00:10:52,520 –> 00:10:59,320 And you cannot read the story of David without seeing that it hurt him, that it hurt his 128 00:10:59,320 –> 00:11:02,859 family, and that it hurt the very Kingdom of God. 129 00:11:02,859 –> 00:11:09,059 It was one of the massive failures by any standards in David’s life. 130 00:11:09,380 –> 00:11:14,659 It’s interesting and I think very sobering, too, that Solomon, David’s son, who came 131 00:11:14,679 –> 00:11:19,840 to the throne after him followed his father’s example except that he took it to all kinds 132 00:11:19,840 –> 00:11:22,400 of extreme seems to have lost it completely. 133 00:11:22,400 –> 00:11:30,080 We are told in 1 Kings, chapter 11, verse 3 that Solomon had 700 wives, and 300 concubines. 134 00:11:30,080 –> 00:11:34,099 I mean, by any standards, that is extreme. 135 00:11:34,099 –> 00:11:35,099 700? 136 00:11:35,099 –> 00:11:38,880 Now, you see the principle. 137 00:11:39,119 –> 00:11:46,039 The indulgence that the father allows in his own life is exaggerated and multiplied in 138 00:11:46,039 –> 00:11:47,960 the life of his son. 139 00:11:47,960 –> 00:11:51,679 That’s the principle. 140 00:11:51,679 –> 00:11:59,840 David’s failure in this area, reappeared in his son’s life on a massive scale. 141 00:11:59,840 –> 00:12:03,179 It’s very sobering. 142 00:12:03,179 –> 00:12:08,760 Now, for some of us, of course, that is not good news, because you immediately think about 143 00:12:08,799 –> 00:12:15,580 your dad, the model that’s been set for you in past generations. 144 00:12:15,580 –> 00:12:22,500 And you say, well if the failures of the fathers are going to be repeated in my life then where 145 00:12:22,500 –> 00:12:23,500 does that leave me? 146 00:12:23,500 –> 00:12:28,099 Let me say honestly, the patterns of your father’s life will probably indicate particular 147 00:12:28,099 –> 00:12:30,419 points of temptation for you. 148 00:12:30,419 –> 00:12:34,640 Naive if you don’t realize that. 149 00:12:34,799 –> 00:12:41,619 But by the grace of God, the hope of the gospel is that you can be the one to break the pattern. 150 00:12:41,619 –> 00:12:48,760 And I want to challenge me in the church this morning who have followed an ungodly example 151 00:12:48,760 –> 00:12:53,960 as you look at previous generations in your own life, who look back with regret that a 152 00:12:53,960 –> 00:12:57,859 good model was not set for you in one area or another. 153 00:12:57,859 –> 00:13:01,219 You can be the one to break the chain. 154 00:13:01,219 –> 00:13:07,239 You can be the one to break the pattern by the grace of God. 155 00:13:07,239 –> 00:13:11,359 So set this as a priority. 156 00:13:11,359 –> 00:13:21,359 Be loyal to your wife in your deeds and in your thoughts. 157 00:13:21,359 –> 00:13:24,599 Set that as a priority because it matters! 158 00:13:24,599 –> 00:13:30,760 It matters to you, it matters to your children, and it matters to the kingdom. 159 00:13:31,099 –> 00:13:36,880 And all of that, we learn from the life of David. 160 00:13:36,880 –> 00:13:43,859 Some may be saying, yeah well, loyalty, that’s hard, you don’t know my wife. 161 00:13:43,859 –> 00:13:46,440 She isn’t the woman I married 20 years ago. 162 00:13:46,440 –> 00:13:49,840 Well I mean, top prize for stating the obvious. 163 00:13:49,840 –> 00:13:53,400 She isn’t the woman I married 20 years ago. 164 00:13:53,400 –> 00:13:57,880 Listen, you did not marry an image. 165 00:13:58,419 –> 00:14:00,299 You married a person. 166 00:14:00,299 –> 00:14:03,739 A person. 167 00:14:03,739 –> 00:14:09,039 And God commits not to images but to persons. 168 00:14:09,039 –> 00:14:16,059 And reflecting the heart of God means loyalty and commitment to a person. 169 00:14:16,059 –> 00:14:19,760 I will never forget the first time I was in India. 170 00:14:19,820 –> 00:14:28,299 And, uh, an older man in one of the remote village tribes that we were, uh, visiting. 171 00:14:28,299 –> 00:14:33,520 We got into a conversation through translation about the whole subject of marriage and family 172 00:14:33,520 –> 00:14:42,719 life and, and why it was that it was so different in the west from a rural environment in India. 173 00:14:42,719 –> 00:14:45,359 And he said this to me. 174 00:14:45,359 –> 00:14:50,979 In the west, you marry the woman you love. 175 00:14:50,979 –> 00:14:58,020 Here in the east, you love the woman you marry. 176 00:14:58,020 –> 00:15:01,760 That may have been an overstatement, but it’s very powerful. 177 00:15:01,760 –> 00:15:11,919 Man, let us learn to love the woman you have married. 178 00:15:12,820 –> 00:15:13,419 Be filled with the love of God. 179 00:15:14,760 –> 00:15:15,619 You see how these two things go together? 180 00:15:15,619 –> 00:15:16,380 You say, how am I to do that? 181 00:15:16,380 –> 00:15:17,419 You gotta be filled with the love of God. 182 00:15:17,419 –> 00:15:21,479 You cannot do this apart from Christ. 183 00:15:21,479 –> 00:15:24,760 Be filled with the love of God, be loyal to your wife. 184 00:15:24,760 –> 00:15:28,919 Number three, a man after God’s own heart will lead 185 00:15:28,919 –> 00:15:32,679 in a way that refreshes others. 186 00:15:32,679 –> 00:15:35,520 Lead in a way that refreshes others. 187 00:15:35,520 –> 00:15:38,260 Now, by any standards, David was an extraordinary leader, 188 00:15:38,260 –> 00:15:40,619 and in his last words that I’d like us to turn 189 00:15:40,619 –> 00:15:44,320 to in 2 Samuel, chapter 23, 190 00:15:44,320 –> 00:15:47,820 he talks about the marks of effective leadership. 191 00:15:47,820 –> 00:15:51,239 2 Samuel chapter 23, please turn to this, 192 00:15:52,340 –> 00:15:56,080 and David is speaking prophetically here, 193 00:15:56,080 –> 00:15:57,859 and he’s speaking about leadership. 194 00:15:58,919 –> 00:16:01,000 2 Samuel 23, in verse three, 195 00:16:02,659 –> 00:16:06,880 when one rules over men in righteousness, 196 00:16:07,780 –> 00:16:11,320 when he rules in the fear of God. 197 00:16:11,320 –> 00:16:12,640 So he’s talking about leadership, 198 00:16:12,640 –> 00:16:16,020 he’s talking about the way in which authority is exercised, 199 00:16:16,020 –> 00:16:18,619 the way in which leadership is given in a nation, 200 00:16:18,619 –> 00:16:21,619 or indeed in a family, or in any other sphere. 201 00:16:22,580 –> 00:16:24,919 When one rules over other men in righteousness, 202 00:16:24,919 –> 00:16:27,760 when he rules in the fear of the Lord, 203 00:16:27,760 –> 00:16:28,919 what is it like? 204 00:16:28,919 –> 00:16:30,159 Two descriptions. 205 00:16:31,200 –> 00:16:35,059 He is like the light of morning 206 00:16:35,059 –> 00:16:37,320 at sunrise on a cloudless morning 207 00:16:38,820 –> 00:16:41,940 and like the brightness after rain 208 00:16:41,940 –> 00:16:44,260 that brings the grass from the earth. 209 00:16:44,260 –> 00:16:47,580 Now, these are two beautiful pictures 210 00:16:47,580 –> 00:16:49,179 of effective leadership. 211 00:16:50,099 –> 00:16:50,979 What’s it like? 212 00:16:50,979 –> 00:16:55,419 It’s like the light of morning at sunrise. 213 00:16:55,419 –> 00:16:57,580 Now, that’s a picture of hope, obviously. 214 00:16:57,580 –> 00:17:01,179 Here’s been this long dark night 215 00:17:01,260 –> 00:17:03,179 but the spirits of everyone are lifted 216 00:17:03,179 –> 00:17:05,760 when the sun comes up. 217 00:17:05,760 –> 00:17:08,180 The sun rises on a cloudless day 218 00:17:08,180 –> 00:17:11,939 and David says, that’s what effective leadership looks like. 219 00:17:11,939 –> 00:17:15,540 It brings hope to people who have been in great darkness. 220 00:17:16,880 –> 00:17:19,760 That’s your role within the family 221 00:17:19,760 –> 00:17:22,060 where the family is in great difficulties 222 00:17:22,060 –> 00:17:25,560 that the role of the leader is to be able to shine light 223 00:17:25,560 –> 00:17:29,859 so that there is hope for those God has given to you 224 00:17:30,780 –> 00:17:33,660 and of course that is what David did for Israel. 225 00:17:33,660 –> 00:17:37,839 He inherent a loose coalition of tribes 226 00:17:37,839 –> 00:17:40,420 with little loyalty to each other, 227 00:17:40,420 –> 00:17:42,819 barely able to defend themselves 228 00:17:42,819 –> 00:17:44,119 and what he did was he lead them 229 00:17:44,119 –> 00:17:47,119 to become a great and strong nation. 230 00:17:47,119 –> 00:17:50,660 It wasn’t easy but his leadership in Israel 231 00:17:50,660 –> 00:17:55,660 was like the light of sunrise on a cloudless morning. 232 00:17:56,040 –> 00:17:58,500 It brought hope, it brought strength 233 00:17:59,420 –> 00:18:00,800 for the people he led 234 00:18:02,099 –> 00:18:03,219 and then this other picture, 235 00:18:03,219 –> 00:18:05,239 effective leadership, is like the rain 236 00:18:05,239 –> 00:18:07,760 that brings grass from the Earth. 237 00:18:07,760 –> 00:18:11,520 The beautiful picture, it’s a picture of refreshing. 238 00:18:12,619 –> 00:18:14,920 In other words, good leadership in the family 239 00:18:14,920 –> 00:18:19,800 causes your wife and your children to flourish, 240 00:18:20,300 –> 00:18:25,300 to grow, it’s like the grass that comes up after the rain. 241 00:18:30,699 –> 00:18:32,780 Again, it’s interesting that David gave 242 00:18:32,780 –> 00:18:37,660 better leadership in his work than he did in his family. 243 00:18:37,660 –> 00:18:41,979 It’s fascinating how often you find this pattern with David 244 00:18:41,979 –> 00:18:43,660 and I think that that is a real challenge 245 00:18:43,660 –> 00:18:47,819 for us to embrace and to respond to today. 246 00:18:47,819 –> 00:18:50,660 If you look at First Samuel in chapter 22. 247 00:18:50,660 –> 00:18:53,099 That’s First Samuel in chapter 22. 248 00:18:53,099 –> 00:18:55,859 You’ll see there what he did well. 249 00:18:55,859 –> 00:18:57,979 Extraordinary piece of leadership. 250 00:18:57,979 –> 00:19:01,420 When David was in the cave of Adulam, 251 00:19:01,420 –> 00:19:04,219 we’re told that a group of people came to him. 252 00:19:04,219 –> 00:19:08,619 They were all those who were in distress, 253 00:19:08,619 –> 00:19:12,400 in debt, and discontented, 254 00:19:12,400 –> 00:19:14,540 and they gathered round him and he became their leader. 255 00:19:14,540 –> 00:19:17,199 There were about 400 with him. 256 00:19:17,300 –> 00:19:20,500 That’s a pretty desperate team to work with, isn’t it? 257 00:19:20,500 –> 00:19:23,280 You’re the leader, you’re in a cave and what do you get? 258 00:19:23,280 –> 00:19:25,459 All those who are distressed, 259 00:19:25,459 –> 00:19:27,859 a bunch of guys who are in debt, 260 00:19:27,859 –> 00:19:30,680 and all of them with their common factor 261 00:19:30,680 –> 00:19:32,040 of being discontented. 262 00:19:32,859 –> 00:19:35,300 And what can you do with a motley crew like that? 263 00:19:36,500 –> 00:19:38,699 Well, the genius of David’s leadership 264 00:19:38,699 –> 00:19:40,180 is that he takes this motley crew 265 00:19:40,180 –> 00:19:42,239 that comes to him in the cave of Adulam 266 00:19:42,239 –> 00:19:45,020 and forges them into the army of fighting men 267 00:19:45,040 –> 00:19:47,839 who were fiercely loyal to him. 268 00:19:47,839 –> 00:19:49,599 That’s leadership. 269 00:19:49,599 –> 00:19:51,939 And in this, David is a wonderful picture 270 00:19:51,939 –> 00:19:53,699 of our Lord Jesus Christ 271 00:19:54,819 –> 00:19:58,599 who will take you in your distress 272 00:19:58,599 –> 00:20:00,780 and in all your indebtedness 273 00:20:01,819 –> 00:20:04,479 and in all of the discontent of your life 274 00:20:04,479 –> 00:20:09,319 and He will make you one of God’s mighty men 275 00:20:09,319 –> 00:20:12,520 if you will commit yourself to His leadership in your life, 276 00:20:12,520 –> 00:20:13,640 that’s the key. 277 00:20:15,260 –> 00:20:19,260 These folks had a bag of problems when they came to David 278 00:20:19,260 –> 00:20:23,459 as you may have a bag of problems when you come to Jesus 279 00:20:23,459 –> 00:20:25,660 but the key is that they committed themselves 280 00:20:25,660 –> 00:20:28,439 to his leadership, they followed him 281 00:20:28,439 –> 00:20:29,900 and he made something out of them. 282 00:20:29,900 –> 00:20:31,400 When Jesus comes into the world, he says, 283 00:20:31,400 –> 00:20:33,920 Now you follow me I will make you something, 284 00:20:33,920 –> 00:20:35,459 I will make you fishers of men. 285 00:20:37,219 –> 00:20:39,579 Extraordinary leadership in which David points us 286 00:20:39,579 –> 00:20:40,920 to Jesus Christ but you know, 287 00:20:40,920 –> 00:20:45,920 if only David had applied the same skill in his family 288 00:20:46,719 –> 00:20:51,640 as he did in his work because when it came to his family, 289 00:20:52,640 –> 00:20:54,040 David didn’t do so well. 290 00:20:55,380 –> 00:20:58,479 Let me give you one or two examples that show a pattern. 291 00:20:58,479 –> 00:20:59,979 I want you to see the pattern. 292 00:21:02,119 –> 00:21:07,119 David had a son called Amnon the guy Amnon was attracted 293 00:21:07,920 –> 00:21:10,979 to his half sister, whose name was Tamar. 294 00:21:12,599 –> 00:21:13,540 He raped her. 295 00:21:13,540 –> 00:21:14,959 It was a terrible thing. 296 00:21:15,979 –> 00:21:18,339 Abuse in the royal household. 297 00:21:19,599 –> 00:21:21,760 And you know what David did? 298 00:21:21,760 –> 00:21:22,959 Absolutely nothing. 299 00:21:24,280 –> 00:21:26,239 Now think about that. 300 00:21:26,239 –> 00:21:29,219 This family needed crisis intervention 301 00:21:29,219 –> 00:21:30,339 from the father. 302 00:21:31,959 –> 00:21:35,239 The boy Amnon needed to be confronted. 303 00:21:37,119 –> 00:21:39,640 And if David had done that he would have been like 304 00:21:39,640 –> 00:21:42,479 light at sunrise for his family. 305 00:21:44,020 –> 00:21:47,119 But he stood back and did nothing. 306 00:21:48,660 –> 00:21:51,040 David had another son called Absalom. 307 00:21:52,000 –> 00:21:56,199 And Absalom was Tamar’s full brother 308 00:21:56,199 –> 00:21:59,579 and he was furious and had determined revenge 309 00:21:59,579 –> 00:22:01,680 because of what had been done to his sister. 310 00:22:01,680 –> 00:22:05,300 And Absalom did not speak to Amnon for two years. 311 00:22:05,339 –> 00:22:07,660 The Bible says not a single word. 312 00:22:07,660 –> 00:22:08,579 Two years. 313 00:22:08,579 –> 00:22:10,239 You have two brothers in the same house 314 00:22:10,239 –> 00:22:11,500 and they’re not speaking to each other 315 00:22:11,500 –> 00:22:13,380 for two years, you got a problem. 316 00:22:13,380 –> 00:22:16,619 There’s a slow burning fuse right there 317 00:22:16,619 –> 00:22:18,500 and you know David did about it? 318 00:22:19,479 –> 00:22:20,619 Absolutely nothing. 319 00:22:22,739 –> 00:22:25,239 If David had helped Absalom to deal with his anger 320 00:22:25,239 –> 00:22:26,979 he would have been like the rain 321 00:22:26,979 –> 00:22:29,180 that brings grass from the earth. 322 00:22:30,780 –> 00:22:31,640 But he didn’t. 323 00:22:32,280 –> 00:22:35,640 Then one day the two brothers were out, 324 00:22:35,640 –> 00:22:39,319 Absalom and Amnon and Absalom took Amnon’s life 325 00:22:39,319 –> 00:22:40,439 and then he fled. 326 00:22:40,439 –> 00:22:42,459 So now you have an alienated son 327 00:22:42,459 –> 00:22:46,099 who eventually raised a revolt against David himself 328 00:22:46,099 –> 00:22:48,560 and ousted him for a time from Jerusalem 329 00:22:48,560 –> 00:22:52,219 and the revolt ended with Absalom’s own tragic death. 330 00:22:53,319 –> 00:22:55,300 When Absalom’s gone you know what David did? 331 00:22:55,300 –> 00:22:57,540 Absolutely nothing. 332 00:22:58,540 –> 00:23:01,560 So there’s a pattern here. 333 00:23:01,560 –> 00:23:06,439 Here is a man who has marvelous leadership skills 334 00:23:06,439 –> 00:23:10,040 but has become passive in relation to his family. 335 00:23:11,520 –> 00:23:14,300 And if only he had taken the skills 336 00:23:14,300 –> 00:23:17,280 that he invested so effectively in his work 337 00:23:17,280 –> 00:23:21,400 and applied them effectively in his family, 338 00:23:21,400 –> 00:23:24,900 the course of history may indeed have been very different 339 00:23:24,900 –> 00:23:26,380 in the grace of God, 340 00:23:27,339 –> 00:23:30,020 because he would have been to his family then 341 00:23:31,020 –> 00:23:33,300 lights as at sunrise 342 00:23:34,780 –> 00:23:37,760 and like the rain that brings grass from the earth. 343 00:23:39,420 –> 00:23:41,099 Now, here we’re obviously learning from David 344 00:23:41,099 –> 00:23:42,180 by way of contrast, 345 00:23:42,180 –> 00:23:45,040 and here’s my challenge to the dads in the church today. 346 00:23:46,619 –> 00:23:50,920 Will you commit before God today on this family Sunday 347 00:23:52,219 –> 00:23:54,459 that by God’s grace and with His help 348 00:23:54,459 –> 00:23:58,479 you will give effective leadership in your home? 349 00:24:00,140 –> 00:24:01,800 And we have been given two pictures 350 00:24:01,800 –> 00:24:03,260 of what that actually looks like. 351 00:24:03,260 –> 00:24:05,300 The kind of leadership that is like 352 00:24:05,300 –> 00:24:09,500 light at the sunrise of morning 353 00:24:09,500 –> 00:24:13,439 and like the rain that brings grass from the earth. 354 00:24:14,380 –> 00:24:16,099 Will you commit by God’s grace 355 00:24:16,099 –> 00:24:18,819 to give that kind of leadership 356 00:24:18,819 –> 00:24:21,939 that has that kind of effect for your wife 357 00:24:22,800 –> 00:24:26,699 and for your children and indeed for your grandchildren? 358 00:24:28,660 –> 00:24:31,140 And you know, your family may be very difficult 359 00:24:31,140 –> 00:24:32,699 and even dysfunctional right now 360 00:24:32,699 –> 00:24:36,020 as clearly David’s was in an extreme way, 361 00:24:37,699 –> 00:24:41,020 but you’re calling is that your wife 362 00:24:41,020 –> 00:24:43,459 and your children will have hope 363 00:24:44,319 –> 00:24:46,459 because you are there, 364 00:24:48,119 –> 00:24:51,300 that they will flourish and that they will grow 365 00:24:52,339 –> 00:24:57,239 because you have your hand on the tiller of family life. 366 00:24:59,359 –> 00:25:00,579 Don’t be passive. 367 00:25:02,199 –> 00:25:05,500 Learn what is happening in your kids’ lives 368 00:25:05,500 –> 00:25:08,060 and then exercise the leadership 369 00:25:08,060 –> 00:25:10,020 that God has trusted to you. 370 00:25:11,420 –> 00:25:15,459 That may mean that there needs to be some intervention. 371 00:25:15,459 –> 00:25:19,579 It may mean setting some new standards this week. 372 00:25:19,579 –> 00:25:22,260 It may mean sitting down with a son or a daughter 373 00:25:22,260 –> 00:25:24,380 and saying, you know, I have to tell you 374 00:25:24,380 –> 00:25:26,819 that I have failed God and you 375 00:25:26,819 –> 00:25:30,439 by not giving the leadership you need in this family 376 00:25:30,439 –> 00:25:31,900 and I’m sorry. 377 00:25:31,900 –> 00:25:34,020 But now we have to get on a new 378 00:25:34,020 –> 00:25:35,339 and on a different track 379 00:25:35,339 –> 00:25:38,260 and when we do it will be for your lasting good. 380 00:25:39,540 –> 00:25:41,699 If you need help and encouragement with this, 381 00:25:41,699 –> 00:25:44,180 please talk with one of the pastors. 382 00:25:44,180 –> 00:25:45,579 Talk with other Christian men 383 00:25:45,579 –> 00:25:47,119 who can be a model to you. 384 00:25:47,119 –> 00:25:49,839 But please don’t like David 385 00:25:49,839 –> 00:25:53,280 let family life happen around you. 386 00:25:53,280 –> 00:25:54,760 That was his great mistake 387 00:25:54,760 –> 00:25:58,239 and it brought disaster for his children. 388 00:25:59,280 –> 00:26:01,780 What does it mean to be man after God’s own heart? 389 00:26:03,920 –> 00:26:06,520 Well it will mean being filled with God’s love, 390 00:26:07,979 –> 00:26:09,560 being loyal to others 391 00:26:10,719 –> 00:26:15,359 and leading in a way that refreshes. 392 00:26:15,380 –> 00:26:16,459 Here’s the last thing. 393 00:26:17,579 –> 00:26:21,160 It will mean that you lean on God’s promise. 394 00:26:21,160 –> 00:26:22,520 Now you can’t understand David 395 00:26:22,520 –> 00:26:25,660 without coming to 2 Samuel chapter seven 396 00:26:25,660 –> 00:26:27,619 and the great promise that God gave to him. 397 00:26:27,619 –> 00:26:29,280 So let’s turn quickly to that 398 00:26:29,280 –> 00:26:31,520 as our last scripture this morning. 399 00:26:33,300 –> 00:26:36,280 This promise of God given to David in 2 Samuel seven 400 00:26:36,280 –> 00:26:38,959 was without doubt the most important event 401 00:26:38,959 –> 00:26:40,760 in all of David’s life. 402 00:26:42,199 –> 00:26:43,560 And it’s interesting that God gave 403 00:26:43,819 –> 00:26:46,400 this marvelous promise of the coming redeemer 404 00:26:46,400 –> 00:26:49,400 who would be born into the house of David 405 00:26:49,400 –> 00:26:52,800 at a time of great disappointment in David’s life. 406 00:26:53,939 –> 00:26:55,079 Nathan had just announced 407 00:26:55,079 –> 00:26:57,380 that David would not be the one to build the temple 408 00:26:57,380 –> 00:26:59,359 and that must have been heartbreaking for David 409 00:26:59,359 –> 00:27:01,239 because of course it was his dream. 410 00:27:02,219 –> 00:27:04,160 And so let me in these very last moments 411 00:27:04,160 –> 00:27:07,959 address these remarks to men who are disappointed 412 00:27:07,959 –> 00:27:11,579 and discouraged in life this morning. 413 00:27:11,780 –> 00:27:13,280 You’re not living your dream, 414 00:27:14,560 –> 00:27:18,239 things have not worked out in your family as you had hoped, 415 00:27:19,219 –> 00:27:20,900 and right now you are not the person 416 00:27:20,900 –> 00:27:22,880 that you wanted to be either. 417 00:27:24,439 –> 00:27:26,339 Want us to look at God’s promise to David 418 00:27:26,339 –> 00:27:30,739 in 2 Samuel chapter seven, verse 11 where God says, 419 00:27:30,739 –> 00:27:35,739 the Lord himself will establish a house for you. 420 00:27:39,099 –> 00:27:40,400 When your days are over 421 00:27:41,339 –> 00:27:42,979 and you rest with your fathers, 422 00:27:42,979 –> 00:27:44,619 that’s even after your own death. 423 00:27:44,619 –> 00:27:47,640 I will raise up your offspring to succeed you 424 00:27:47,640 –> 00:27:49,880 who will come from your own body 425 00:27:49,880 –> 00:27:52,859 and I will establish his kingdom. 426 00:27:52,859 –> 00:27:56,920 He is the one who will build a house for my name 427 00:27:56,920 –> 00:28:01,920 and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 428 00:28:02,239 –> 00:28:07,239 I will be his father and he will be my son. 429 00:28:08,640 –> 00:28:09,880 The promise here of course 430 00:28:09,880 –> 00:28:13,839 is that David’s line, his line of descendants 431 00:28:13,839 –> 00:28:15,920 will be established 432 00:28:15,920 –> 00:28:18,040 and especially that God’s kingdom 433 00:28:18,040 –> 00:28:21,800 will be established by one who comes into that line, 434 00:28:21,800 –> 00:28:26,800 the redeemer, Jesus Christ, our savior, and our Lord. 435 00:28:28,040 –> 00:28:30,119 Now think about what this means to David 436 00:28:30,119 –> 00:28:32,780 as he’s facing discouragement. 437 00:28:32,780 –> 00:28:34,640 He’s thinking that he won’t be able to achieve 438 00:28:34,640 –> 00:28:36,619 everything he would’ve liked to in his life. 439 00:28:36,619 –> 00:28:38,319 That things haven’t come together 440 00:28:38,359 –> 00:28:39,339 in the way that he’d hoped, 441 00:28:39,339 –> 00:28:42,160 that opportunities that he would have loved 442 00:28:42,160 –> 00:28:46,099 to have embraced are not now going to be opened up to him. 443 00:28:46,099 –> 00:28:48,439 And he’s struggling with all of that. 444 00:28:48,439 –> 00:28:49,579 And what does God do? 445 00:28:49,579 –> 00:28:52,760 He brings in the promise of the redeemer. 446 00:28:54,619 –> 00:28:59,619 And he says, David, there is more grace still to come. 447 00:29:03,260 –> 00:29:06,780 See when you look at your life, 448 00:29:06,780 –> 00:29:11,760 your family, your work, the church, the world, 449 00:29:12,540 –> 00:29:16,579 you are looking at a work in process. 450 00:29:17,819 –> 00:29:20,739 It’s kind of like going through a house 451 00:29:20,739 –> 00:29:22,380 in the middle of remodeling. 452 00:29:22,380 –> 00:29:25,739 We seem to be on that theme at the moment. 453 00:29:25,739 –> 00:29:27,979 But you see the contractor is doing the work 454 00:29:27,979 –> 00:29:30,660 and it’s a complete mess in the middle. 455 00:29:32,300 –> 00:29:35,239 And if the contractor were to abandon the work 456 00:29:35,280 –> 00:29:38,459 halfway through, it would be an utter disaster. 457 00:29:40,239 –> 00:29:42,500 But you know that what you see now 458 00:29:42,500 –> 00:29:47,420 is not the final outcome and that knowledge keeps you going. 459 00:29:48,680 –> 00:29:51,400 And the way that you live with the mess 460 00:29:52,319 –> 00:29:54,760 is by leaning on the promise 461 00:29:54,760 –> 00:29:59,040 that the contractor will finish the job. 462 00:30:01,140 –> 00:30:03,599 And when God began a work in your life, 463 00:30:03,599 –> 00:30:06,380 his cast iron commitment 464 00:30:06,380 –> 00:30:08,479 was that it would be brought to completion. 465 00:30:08,479 –> 00:30:13,060 He commits himself to finishing what he starts. 466 00:30:14,119 –> 00:30:15,619 What that means is this, 467 00:30:17,459 –> 00:30:20,079 that every man in this church 468 00:30:21,000 –> 00:30:23,420 who belongs to Jesus Christ 469 00:30:23,420 –> 00:30:27,959 will one day reflect his glory fully. 470 00:30:27,959 –> 00:30:29,579 It’s awesome to think about it. 471 00:30:31,040 –> 00:30:32,660 But it is the promise of the Gospel 472 00:30:33,579 –> 00:30:36,439 that every man in this church 473 00:30:36,439 –> 00:30:38,680 who belongs to Jesus Christ 474 00:30:38,680 –> 00:30:43,680 will one day fully reflect his glory. 475 00:30:45,839 –> 00:30:48,140 Lean into that. 476 00:30:49,619 –> 00:30:54,000 God has more grace still to come in your life. 477 00:30:55,439 –> 00:30:58,199 There are more things that he still has to do. 478 00:30:58,640 –> 00:31:02,140 When he does them, 479 00:31:02,140 –> 00:31:05,160 they will surprise you with joy. 480 00:31:06,459 –> 00:31:08,199 What does it mean 481 00:31:08,199 –> 00:31:13,040 to be a man after God’s own heart? 482 00:31:13,040 –> 00:31:16,479 Gotta be filled with the love of God. 483 00:31:16,479 –> 00:31:18,579 You just can’t live this life 484 00:31:18,579 –> 00:31:21,739 without the love that God has for you 485 00:31:21,739 –> 00:31:25,219 being born within you. 486 00:31:26,219 –> 00:31:29,119 To be a loyal to your wife. 487 00:31:30,260 –> 00:31:35,920 You’ve gotta give leadership that refreshes. 488 00:31:36,959 –> 00:31:40,459 And you’ve gotta lean into the promise of God 489 00:31:40,459 –> 00:31:45,099 that there is more grace yet to come. 490 00:31:47,459 –> 00:31:49,199 You’ve been listening to a sermon 491 00:31:49,199 –> 00:31:51,400 with Pastor Colin Smith of Open the Bible. 492 00:31:51,680 –> 00:31:55,900 To conact us, call us at 1-877-OPEN-365 493 00:31:57,000 –> 00:32:00,500 or visit our website OpenTheBible.org