100:00:00,100 –> 00:00:09,300Think of how you stand in the place of God with regards to your child.200:00:09,300 –> 00:00:14,700You are the guardian. You are the provider. You are the shepherd.300:00:14,700 –> 00:00:19,900You are the intercessor. You are the teacher. You are the example.400:00:19,900 –> 00:00:24,120And the greatest question that I face as a parent is,500:00:24,120 –> 00:00:27,900how am I representing God to this child?600:00:27,900 –> 00:00:31,780Welcome to Open the Bible with Pastor Colin Smith, I’m David Pick.700:00:31,780 –> 00:00:36,240I’m glad you could be with us today and Colin, that’s a very challenging question,800:00:36,240 –> 00:00:39,299how am I representing God to this child?900:00:39,299 –> 00:00:41,980Yeah, and that is the high calling of parenting, isn’t it?1000:00:41,980 –> 00:00:45,680To remember that this is a high calling and a holy calling1100:00:45,680 –> 00:00:48,180and something that God has given me to do.1200:00:48,180 –> 00:00:54,939For every mother who is caring for a child today the work that you are doing is of huge importance.1300:00:55,000 –> 00:00:58,220For every father who has been entrusted with a child,1400:00:58,220 –> 00:01:03,939your modelling of what it is to be a godly man is of huge importance.1500:01:03,939 –> 00:01:07,639So never underestimate the value of what God has called you to do.1600:01:07,639 –> 00:01:11,739As we continue a message which we began last time, your struggle with authority1700:01:11,739 –> 00:01:14,720thinking about the fifth commandment honoring your father and mother,1800:01:14,720 –> 00:01:18,339we begin today looking at how we use that authority.1900:01:18,379 –> 00:01:22,500But the reality is that many people listening today will be thinking,2000:01:22,500 –> 00:01:25,699you don’t know my father, you don’t know my mother,2100:01:25,699 –> 00:01:28,739the abuse I grew up with, how I suffered.2200:01:28,739 –> 00:01:30,339What would you say to them?2300:01:30,339 –> 00:01:33,839I think that is a huge question for so many folks,2400:01:33,839 –> 00:01:37,620and as you listen today that may be immediately what is on your mind.2500:01:37,620 –> 00:01:42,239And we’re going to look at that directly in the message from the Bible today,2600:01:42,239 –> 00:01:46,940because did you know that God speaks to you exactly about your situation?2700:01:47,239 –> 00:01:51,239Did you know, for example, that in the Bible we’re told the story of Jonathan,2800:01:51,239 –> 00:01:56,699in the Old Testament, Jonathan’s father, Saul threw a javelin at him.2900:01:56,699 –> 00:02:01,779What kind of father throws a javelin at his son?3000:02:01,779 –> 00:02:04,320So, the Bible’s not speaking about some other world,3100:02:04,320 –> 00:02:10,320the Bible’s speaking right into our world, and it speaks into the brokenness3200:02:10,320 –> 00:02:13,919of some very, very dysfunctional family relationships.3300:02:13,919 –> 00:02:16,119One of the things we’re going to see today3400:02:16,139 –> 00:02:20,940is that it really helps when someone who has not been able to love well,3500:02:20,940 –> 00:02:25,240a father or a mother, to see that they were not able to do this3600:02:25,240 –> 00:02:31,240and to ask God to give you compassion for a father or a mother3700:02:31,240 –> 00:02:37,119who was not able to love well and to look up into the face of The Father3800:02:37,119 –> 00:02:41,460and to find there the love that you did not find in your father.3900:02:41,460 –> 00:02:44,020That’s the only place there’s going to be hope4000:02:44,240 –> 00:02:49,720and to begin to find grace and healing in his hand and by his grace.4100:02:49,720 –> 00:02:52,960I know some wonderful stories of people who find that4200:02:52,960 –> 00:02:55,979because God’s grace is very wonderful indeed.4300:02:55,979 –> 00:02:58,559We can be grateful for that and we’ll continue to look4400:02:58,559 –> 00:03:01,380at what it means to honour your father and mother,4500:03:01,380 –> 00:03:04,759our struggle with authority, as we open the Bibles together4600:03:04,759 –> 00:03:08,320at Exodus chapter 20. Here’s Colin4700:03:08,320 –> 00:03:11,160Now nobody wants to be a bad parent, nobody wants to be a bad leader4800:03:11,160 –> 00:03:13,279and so I want to suggest to you that there are4900:03:13,300 –> 00:03:16,740three qualities that we especially need5000:03:16,740 –> 00:03:20,860in order to use authority well.5100:03:20,860 –> 00:03:28,339They are wisdom, sufficiency and love.5200:03:28,339 –> 00:03:31,339These are the boundaries within which God5300:03:31,339 –> 00:03:35,539calls you to exercise whatever authority is given5400:03:35,539 –> 00:03:40,880to you. And abuse begins when authority5500:03:41,119 –> 00:03:46,720is exercised outside one of these three boundaries.5600:03:46,720 –> 00:03:49,619Let’s take a moment to consider them together.5700:03:49,619 –> 00:03:51,960First, wisdom.5800:03:51,960 –> 00:03:56,179Use the authority that God has given to you,5900:03:56,179 –> 00:03:58,179whether it be in business, whether it be in the family,6000:03:58,179 –> 00:04:00,580whether it be in the church, wherever it is,6100:04:00,580 –> 00:04:07,639use the authority that God has given to you with wisdom.6200:04:07,639 –> 00:04:09,220Probably the best known verse in the Bible6300:04:09,279 –> 00:04:11,580on parenting is in Proverbs 22, verse six.6400:04:11,580 –> 00:04:12,820We all know this one,6500:04:12,820 –> 00:04:15,800train up a child in the way that he should go,6600:04:15,800 –> 00:04:18,720and when he is old, can we finish it?6700:04:18,720 –> 00:04:22,260When he is old, he will not depart from it.6800:04:22,260 –> 00:04:25,100I know that verse so well.6900:04:25,100 –> 00:04:29,779I am always grateful to the pastor7000:04:29,779 –> 00:04:34,640who pointed out to me that that verse is singular.7100:04:34,679 –> 00:04:39,679Train up a child in the way he should go7200:04:41,380 –> 00:04:45,440so that while we teach the same moral principles7300:04:45,440 –> 00:04:49,920to all children, the wise parent will remember7400:04:49,920 –> 00:04:52,380that no two children are the same.7500:04:54,019 –> 00:04:55,380So guide them with wisdom.7600:04:57,100 –> 00:04:59,559I’m thankful for the mentor who encouraged me7700:04:59,559 –> 00:05:02,380to try and distinguish between the cosmetic7800:05:02,380 –> 00:05:03,660and the corrupting.7900:05:03,660 –> 00:05:05,100I found that so helpful.8000:05:06,640 –> 00:05:08,500Don’t make a big deal over a thing8100:05:08,500 –> 00:05:10,119that has little consequence,8200:05:10,119 –> 00:05:12,480but be sure that you don’t turn a blind eye8300:05:12,480 –> 00:05:14,140to that which will corrupt.8400:05:16,239 –> 00:05:17,940Look at the wisdom of God.8500:05:20,200 –> 00:05:23,260He knows how to handle every one of his children8600:05:23,260 –> 00:05:25,739in every situation of life8700:05:25,739 –> 00:05:27,940and if you look at the pictures that God uses8800:05:27,940 –> 00:05:30,239to describe his own children in the old testament,8900:05:30,239 –> 00:05:32,160it’s absolutely fascinating.9000:05:32,160 –> 00:05:34,700In one place, Hosea 8, verse nine,9100:05:34,700 –> 00:05:38,600God describes his own children as being like a wild donkey.9200:05:40,320 –> 00:05:42,720Maybe your kids are like wild donkeys sometimes.9300:05:44,119 –> 00:05:46,940In another place, God describes his own children9400:05:46,940 –> 00:05:49,320as a bruised reed.9500:05:50,640 –> 00:05:54,820And wisdom can tell when your child’s being a wild donkey9600:05:54,820 –> 00:05:56,579and when he’s a bruised reed.9700:05:58,779 –> 00:06:00,640And discerning the difference,9800:06:01,459 –> 00:06:04,440you will know how to use your strength.9900:06:06,480 –> 00:06:07,299That’s wisdom.10000:06:08,720 –> 00:06:10,179Second, sufficiency.10100:06:12,679 –> 00:06:14,440I’ve chosen this word carefully10200:06:16,100 –> 00:06:18,799from the conviction that the greatest hinderance10300:06:18,799 –> 00:06:22,779to parenting with honor may come for some10400:06:23,779 –> 00:06:28,279when a father or a mother tries to use a child10500:06:28,899 –> 00:06:32,760to fulfill their own unmet needs.10600:06:32,760 –> 00:06:34,420Most obvious example, of course,10700:06:34,420 –> 00:06:36,959a father or a mother who’s not felt loved,10800:06:36,959 –> 00:06:39,179perhaps doesn’t even feel fulfilled within the marriage10900:06:39,179 –> 00:06:43,359and tries to find what is lacking from the child11000:06:43,359 –> 00:06:46,480and it creates a kind of a dependency.11100:06:46,480 –> 00:06:48,799And of course a parent who is to wisely exercise11200:06:48,799 –> 00:06:50,839this authority at some points will need to make11300:06:50,839 –> 00:06:52,420an unpopular choice11400:06:52,420 –> 00:06:56,260and if you have become emotionally dependent on your child,11500:06:56,260 –> 00:06:59,859you simply won’t be able to do that.11600:06:59,859 –> 00:07:02,500It was a wise father who said to his son,11700:07:02,500 –> 00:07:05,119if I ever have to choose,11800:07:05,119 –> 00:07:08,019notice that phrase, if I have to choose11900:07:08,019 –> 00:07:11,279between being your father and your friend,12000:07:11,279 –> 00:07:13,980I hope that God will always give me the grace12100:07:13,980 –> 00:07:16,179to choose to be your father12200:07:16,179 –> 00:07:19,200because you have many friends.12300:07:19,200 –> 00:07:20,880You have one father.12400:07:22,339 –> 00:07:24,739And sometimes you do have to choose.12500:07:24,779 –> 00:07:26,279Make an unpopular choice.12600:07:28,420 –> 00:07:30,019Or a father and a mother who have12700:07:30,019 –> 00:07:32,779their own unfulfilled hopes and dreams12800:07:33,779 –> 00:07:35,779and they desperately, desperately12900:07:35,779 –> 00:07:37,459want their son or their daughter13000:07:37,459 –> 00:07:40,980to do or to be what they did not accomplish.13100:07:42,019 –> 00:07:44,459And so what happens is that you push13200:07:44,459 –> 00:07:47,540and push and push and push and push13300:07:49,059 –> 00:07:50,619because you want them to be something13400:07:50,619 –> 00:07:52,820that you would’ve wanted to be and you missed13500:07:53,820 –> 00:07:56,859and you’re trying to live it out vicariously through them.13600:07:58,859 –> 00:08:01,920Or a father or a mother who so needs to be needed13700:08:03,220 –> 00:08:05,540that when the time for the child to go13800:08:05,540 –> 00:08:09,179comes and establish his or her independence,13900:08:09,179 –> 00:08:12,000you just won’t let go.14000:08:13,820 –> 00:08:15,320Now you see, all of these things14100:08:15,320 –> 00:08:20,420are traced back to some kind of insufficiency14200:08:20,420 –> 00:08:21,700within ourselves.14300:08:23,160 –> 00:08:25,519And the Bible speaks so plainly about this.14400:08:25,519 –> 00:08:30,600Our sufficiency is of God.14500:08:32,559 –> 00:08:36,520My sufficiency didn’t be my children.14600:08:37,960 –> 00:08:40,219That of course would be to put them in the place of God14700:08:40,219 –> 00:08:42,419and you’re back to the first commandment again.14800:08:43,619 –> 00:08:46,700Using your children to fulfill your own unmet needs14900:08:46,700 –> 00:08:48,539always in the end will bring damage15000:08:48,539 –> 00:08:51,119both to you and to them.15100:08:52,119 –> 00:08:55,239And of course it’s the same in any job,15200:08:55,239 –> 00:08:57,960how many of us are tempted to use our job15300:08:57,960 –> 00:08:59,520and the authority that we have there15400:08:59,520 –> 00:09:01,900to fulfill unmet needs within ourselves15500:09:01,900 –> 00:09:03,479and it causes damage to you15600:09:03,479 –> 00:09:05,919and it causes damage to those who are around you.15700:09:07,320 –> 00:09:09,260Damage will come from anything15800:09:10,440 –> 00:09:15,080that you try to stuff into the space15900:09:15,080 –> 00:09:19,960that only God can fill, sufficiency.16000:09:21,460 –> 00:09:23,320The last thing here is love,16100:09:24,659 –> 00:09:26,679authority without love.16200:09:26,679 –> 00:09:29,880You see authority that moves outside of this boundary16300:09:29,880 –> 00:09:32,919of love will always be destructive,16400:09:32,919 –> 00:09:37,000love woos, but it never forces.16500:09:38,080 –> 00:09:40,479I find that a very, very helpful distinction16600:09:40,479 –> 00:09:42,359and a very obvious one once you see it,16700:09:42,359 –> 00:09:47,000love woos, but it never forces16800:09:48,039 –> 00:09:50,140and this is so important it seems to me16900:09:50,140 –> 00:09:51,820for all of us who have this high calling17000:09:51,820 –> 00:09:55,659of Christian parenting, sometimes we long so deeply17100:09:55,659 –> 00:09:58,780and passionately for our children to follow Christ17200:09:58,780 –> 00:10:01,500that we run the risk of manipulation17300:10:03,460 –> 00:10:08,059and as parents and as pastors17400:10:08,059 –> 00:10:11,000and as Sunday school teachers,17500:10:11,000 –> 00:10:13,859we need to remember that we have the power17600:10:13,859 –> 00:10:16,080to lead a child to do almost anything17700:10:16,080 –> 00:10:18,299and therefore we don’t abuse it.17800:10:19,280 –> 00:10:22,239A compliant child will say a prayer17900:10:22,239 –> 00:10:24,239that you want him or her to say18000:10:24,239 –> 00:10:26,940if you approach it in that kind of a way18100:10:26,940 –> 00:10:28,179that persuades them18200:10:28,179 –> 00:10:31,000and that is precisely what you must not do.18300:10:32,820 –> 00:10:33,940Here’s the danger,18400:10:35,380 –> 00:10:39,359that in my enthusiasm to see my children follow Christ,18500:10:39,359 –> 00:10:41,880I push them towards a decision18600:10:41,880 –> 00:10:45,559that they have not yet truly made in and of their own souls18700:10:45,559 –> 00:10:46,840that I therefore tell them18800:10:47,000 –> 00:10:48,719that they have come to Christ18900:10:48,719 –> 00:10:50,400when in fact they have not19000:10:50,400 –> 00:10:52,940and they conclude five years down the line19100:10:52,940 –> 00:10:54,780that coming to Christ is nothing at all19200:10:54,780 –> 00:10:57,679because it was nothing at all except what I said to them.19300:10:59,400 –> 00:11:01,919Let’s be very, very, very careful19400:11:01,919 –> 00:11:05,780about putting pressure on our kids to be baptized.19500:11:07,520 –> 00:11:12,059Pressure on our kids to profess faith.19600:11:12,059 –> 00:11:14,640I will never forget the wisdom of a lecture19700:11:14,640 –> 00:11:16,380by Elizabeth Catherwood,19800:11:16,380 –> 00:11:19,099the daughter of Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones,19900:11:19,099 –> 00:11:21,260a great Christian leader,20000:11:22,599 –> 00:11:24,219and she told a story that she’d learned20100:11:24,219 –> 00:11:25,780in later life from her mother.20200:11:27,099 –> 00:11:29,080She was in her early teens and a pastor20300:11:29,080 –> 00:11:30,979who was a friend of the Lloyd-Jones family20400:11:30,979 –> 00:11:34,419came and was visiting and had said to Lloyd-Jones,20500:11:34,419 –> 00:11:36,559”Now Elizabeth, your daughter she’s 1420600:11:36,559 –> 00:11:38,520”and she hasn’t professed faith yet.20700:11:40,299 –> 00:11:43,200”Don’t you think it’s time you had a talk with her?’20800:11:45,020 –> 00:11:46,619Lloyd-Jones was a powerful man20900:11:48,799 –> 00:11:51,200and his friend meant by that comment21000:11:51,200 –> 00:11:52,840that he should make, at this point,21100:11:52,840 –> 00:11:57,739a direct attempt to lead her to a decision for Christ.21200:11:59,159 –> 00:12:01,359And Lloyd-Jones just said this,21300:12:01,359 –> 00:12:05,179”She will come when she is ready.”21400:12:08,599 –> 00:12:09,960And I went to my first church,21500:12:09,960 –> 00:12:11,619I found it in the Sunday school.21600:12:12,619 –> 00:12:15,340They had adopted this habit with young children21700:12:15,340 –> 00:12:17,940of bringing the children forward21800:12:17,940 –> 00:12:19,739when it was their birthday.21900:12:21,000 –> 00:12:23,020And the Sunday school leader would say,22000:12:23,020 –> 00:12:27,599”Now Johnny, do you have a second birthday?’22100:12:29,960 –> 00:12:32,059And if he said no,22200:12:32,059 –> 00:12:32,900the leader would say,22300:12:32,900 –> 00:12:35,200”Would you like to have a second birthday?’22400:12:36,859 –> 00:12:39,359”What kid doesn’t want to have a second birthday?’22500:12:40,359 –> 00:12:43,539Then there was the line about being born again.22600:12:43,539 –> 00:12:44,799The moment I heard about it,22700:12:44,799 –> 00:12:48,739I asked and insisted that that be stopped.22800:12:49,979 –> 00:12:51,059That is not evangelism,22900:12:51,059 –> 00:12:52,099that is manipulation23000:12:53,340 –> 00:12:54,820of a young child23100:12:56,559 –> 00:12:57,940and we didn’t do it.23200:12:59,140 –> 00:13:00,859It produces a bunch of kids23300:13:00,859 –> 00:13:02,140that assume they’re born again23400:13:02,140 –> 00:13:03,260because the Sunday school teacher23500:13:03,260 –> 00:13:04,419or the parent told them so,23600:13:04,419 –> 00:13:06,960but have no experience of Christ.23700:13:07,960 –> 00:13:10,080The worst thing you could do.23800:13:10,080 –> 00:13:12,000Some of us are still suffering from it,23900:13:12,000 –> 00:13:13,119we think we’re Christians,24000:13:13,119 –> 00:13:16,359but the truth is we have no experience of Christ.24100:13:19,400 –> 00:13:21,400In his book on the Christian family,24200:13:21,400 –> 00:13:23,820Lloyd-Jones describes a children’s meeting24300:13:23,820 –> 00:13:27,039in which pressure is put on a child to make a decision24400:13:27,039 –> 00:13:29,000and I think the strength of his language24500:13:30,159 –> 00:13:31,460is entirely appropriate,24600:13:31,460 –> 00:13:33,359he says that should never be done,24700:13:34,280 –> 00:13:37,239you are violating the personality of the child.24800:13:38,219 –> 00:13:39,780In addition of course you are displaying24900:13:39,780 –> 00:13:42,320a profound ignorance of the way of salvation,25000:13:42,320 –> 00:13:44,840you can make a little child decide anything,25100:13:44,840 –> 00:13:46,919you have the power and the ability to do so25200:13:46,919 –> 00:13:50,559it is wrong, it is un-Christian, it is un-spiritual.25300:13:50,559 –> 00:13:54,140We must never attempt to be too direct in this matter,25400:13:54,140 –> 00:13:57,239especially with a child, never too emotional,25500:13:57,239 –> 00:13:59,500if your child feels uncomfortable25600:13:59,500 –> 00:14:02,080as you are talking to him about spiritual matters25700:14:02,080 –> 00:14:04,020or if you are talking to someone else’s child25800:14:04,020 –> 00:14:07,960and he feels uncomfortable your method is obviously wrong.25900:14:07,960 –> 00:14:09,859You are bringing pressure to bear,26000:14:09,859 –> 00:14:12,200that is not the way to do this work.26100:14:13,400 –> 00:14:15,239See the key here is don’t attempt26200:14:15,239 –> 00:14:17,159to do the work of the Holy Spirit.26300:14:18,000 –> 00:14:21,859My work as a father is to teach, I must do that,26400:14:22,799 –> 00:14:27,479to pray I must do that, and to seek to the best26500:14:27,479 –> 00:14:30,340of my ability to be a godly example that’s my work.26600:14:32,280 –> 00:14:34,919Converting my children is the work of the Holy Spirit26700:14:36,820 –> 00:14:41,460and I need to have the faith to rest in God there,26800:14:42,840 –> 00:14:47,840otherwise I’ll use my strength to manipulate26900:14:51,099 –> 00:14:54,080and if I do that I’m abusing authority27000:14:55,400 –> 00:15:00,400because love woos but it never forces.27100:15:02,400 –> 00:15:07,400You’re handling a life, you’re handling a soul,27200:15:10,580 –> 00:15:14,299so remember when it comes to matters of faith27300:15:14,299 –> 00:15:16,739as you seek those particular opportunities27400:15:16,739 –> 00:15:20,179that will come where there is openness to share,27500:15:20,179 –> 00:15:21,780love woos, but it never forces27600:15:21,780 –> 00:15:26,780and the wise parent will always discern the difference.27700:15:29,299 –> 00:15:30,780Now of course this leads to the question27800:15:30,780 –> 00:15:32,599where are we going to find this wisdom27900:15:32,599 –> 00:15:34,340and this sufficiency and this love?28000:15:34,340 –> 00:15:36,700You know, you think this is challenging,28100:15:36,700 –> 00:15:37,739I had to write this stuff,28200:15:37,739 –> 00:15:39,539I’ve been living with this all week.28300:15:41,500 –> 00:15:43,039Which of us as parents thinks,28400:15:43,039 –> 00:15:44,979my, we’ve just got this right?28500:15:47,299 –> 00:15:49,400But the answer is that you and I together28600:15:49,400 –> 00:15:52,500will find what we need for parenting in God.28700:15:53,799 –> 00:15:58,419God is our wisdom, God is our sufficiency.28800:15:58,419 –> 00:16:00,419You see that’s the beautiful thing about God.28900:16:00,440 –> 00:16:02,820It’s not only wise, he’s sufficient,29000:16:02,820 –> 00:16:05,239I am who I am, I don’t need you.29100:16:05,239 –> 00:16:08,299He’s not using his people as some kind of emotional crutch,29200:16:08,299 –> 00:16:09,760he’s not dependent on us,29300:16:09,760 –> 00:16:13,020that’s why he’s able to love us freely.29400:16:13,020 –> 00:16:18,020He is love, that is his very nature.29500:16:18,859 –> 00:16:20,179You’re listening to Open the Bible29600:16:20,179 –> 00:16:21,539with Pastor Colin Smith29700:16:21,539 –> 00:16:24,659and a message called, Your Struggle With Authority.29800:16:24,659 –> 00:16:26,059Part of our series,29900:16:26,059 –> 00:16:28,479The 10 Greatest Struggles Of Your Life,30000:16:28,479 –> 00:16:30,340all about the 10 commandments.30100:16:30,559 –> 00:16:32,559And if you’ve missed any of the series so far,30200:16:32,559 –> 00:16:34,859or if you want to go back and listen again.30300:16:34,859 –> 00:16:36,619Come online to our website,30400:16:36,619 –> 00:16:39,239Open The Bible.org.uk30500:16:39,239 –> 00:16:40,559there you’ll find all the messages30600:16:40,559 –> 00:16:42,460which have already been broadcast.30700:16:42,460 –> 00:16:44,659And you can also find them as a podcast,30800:16:44,659 –> 00:16:45,500if that’s a better way30900:16:45,500 –> 00:16:48,219for you to keep up with Pastor Colin’s teaching.31000:16:48,219 –> 00:16:50,400And those are on all the main podcast sites,31100:16:50,400 –> 00:16:52,820search for Open The Bible UK31200:16:52,820 –> 00:16:56,140and subscribe if you want to receive regular reminders.31300:16:56,140 –> 00:16:58,239Open The Bible is supported by our listeners31400:16:58,239 –> 00:16:59,460and later on in the programme,31500:17:00,080 –> 00:17:02,520I’ll be talking to Open The Bible’s Amanda Cunningham31600:17:02,520 –> 00:17:04,119about this month’s offer.31700:17:04,119 –> 00:17:05,959If you’d like to begin supporting31800:17:05,959 –> 00:17:07,699Open The Bible’s work financially,31900:17:07,699 –> 00:17:09,180with a direct debit.32000:17:09,180 –> 00:17:10,260Back to the message now32100:17:10,260 –> 00:17:11,780we’re in Exodus chapter 20,32200:17:11,780 –> 00:17:13,280here’s Colin.32300:17:13,280 –> 00:17:14,579And so we have one more question32400:17:14,579 –> 00:17:16,439to address briefly in these last moments.32500:17:16,439 –> 00:17:19,520And that is to do with honouring the unworthy parent.32600:17:19,520 –> 00:17:20,540We’ve asked the question,32700:17:20,540 –> 00:17:23,599how can I be a parent worthy of honour?32800:17:23,599 –> 00:17:27,459And we’ve sought to bring together some biblical counsel.32900:17:27,479 –> 00:17:29,500And now very briefly this question33000:17:29,500 –> 00:17:32,260how am I to go about honouring an unworthy parents?33100:17:32,260 –> 00:17:33,599And let’s just cut to the chase.33200:17:33,599 –> 00:17:35,640There are some parents who are unworthy,33300:17:35,640 –> 00:17:37,979who have misrepresented God33400:17:39,280 –> 00:17:40,680and have done great damage.33500:17:42,560 –> 00:17:44,420Some parents are not worthy of honour.33600:17:45,300 –> 00:17:46,959The Bible has plenty of examples.33700:17:46,959 –> 00:17:48,400I think of Saul.33800:17:48,400 –> 00:17:52,040Think of the father that Saul was to Jonathan.33900:17:52,040 –> 00:17:53,920Read that story in first Samuel.34000:17:55,119 –> 00:17:56,400The mood swings,34100:17:56,400 –> 00:17:58,459the fits of rage,34200:17:58,459 –> 00:18:00,359the irrational behaviour.34300:18:00,359 –> 00:18:03,180Saul is a study in abused authority.34400:18:03,180 –> 00:18:04,719And you remember that at one point34500:18:04,719 –> 00:18:07,520he threw a javelin at Jonathan.34600:18:07,520 –> 00:18:10,640What kind of father throws a spear at his son?34700:18:13,079 –> 00:18:15,040I say that because some of you have the idea34800:18:15,040 –> 00:18:16,640that God and the Bible knows nothing34900:18:16,640 –> 00:18:18,040about the pain of your experience.35000:18:18,040 –> 00:18:19,959Open the Bible and you will find35100:18:19,959 –> 00:18:21,660that this God knows35200:18:22,560 –> 00:18:24,579what pain in the family is all about.35300:18:27,000 –> 00:18:28,920The Bible recognises very clearly35400:18:28,920 –> 00:18:30,280the pain of bad parenting35500:18:30,280 –> 00:18:34,420and God never asks you to pretend35600:18:34,420 –> 00:18:35,699that bad parents were good35700:18:35,699 –> 00:18:38,260or that neglectful parents are honourable.35800:18:39,219 –> 00:18:40,819That’s just a flight from truth.35900:18:42,400 –> 00:18:44,359So the obvious question is how do you honour36000:18:44,359 –> 00:18:46,959an unworthy parent, or a teacher, or a boss,36100:18:46,959 –> 00:18:48,900or anyone else in a position of authority36200:18:48,900 –> 00:18:51,459who you find it difficult to respect.36300:18:53,199 –> 00:18:54,680Well, think of it this way.36400:18:57,040 –> 00:19:00,959The unworthy parent is one36500:19:00,959 –> 00:19:03,119who had authority but not wisdom,36600:19:04,439 –> 00:19:08,060not sufficiency and not love.36700:19:10,160 –> 00:19:14,400They did not have what only God can give.36800:19:16,800 –> 00:19:18,780Some folks just don’t know how to love.36900:19:20,839 –> 00:19:24,040Some folks are crippled by their own unmet needs.37000:19:27,319 –> 00:19:29,280Some folks haven’t begun to know wisdom37100:19:29,280 –> 00:19:31,140that begins from knowing God.37200:19:35,199 –> 00:19:36,920And some of us have pain37300:19:39,459 –> 00:19:40,800because there is alienation37400:19:40,800 –> 00:19:43,199because your parents are still in that position.37500:19:47,119 –> 00:19:52,119Ask God to give you compassion for them.37600:19:52,319 –> 00:19:53,160For them.37700:19:55,900 –> 00:20:00,900Pray that God will give them what they desperately lack.37800:20:04,319 –> 00:20:06,180That’s the spirit of Jesus.37900:20:08,420 –> 00:20:10,099He has compassion.38000:20:13,459 –> 00:20:17,819And compassion keeps the door to repentance open.38100:20:17,839 –> 00:20:22,239And remember as you think about this,38200:20:22,699 –> 00:20:26,319that the healing for many deep wounds38300:20:26,319 –> 00:20:30,459will begin when you look away from the failings38400:20:30,459 –> 00:20:34,239of your parents and up into the face of God.38500:20:37,420 –> 00:20:40,479If they misrepresented God to you,38600:20:40,479 –> 00:20:45,479then thank God that he is not what they represented, right?38700:20:45,520 –> 00:20:46,579No, no, no.38800:20:47,479 –> 00:20:49,859That’s the breakthrough that some of us have to make.38900:20:49,859 –> 00:20:52,719If they misrepresented God to you,39000:20:52,719 –> 00:20:57,719then thank God that he is not what you feared.39100:20:58,839 –> 00:21:03,839He is not the one that they misrepresented.39200:21:05,199 –> 00:21:06,979Look to the God of the Bible,39300:21:08,199 –> 00:21:11,020the God who hears the cries of his people.39400:21:11,959 –> 00:21:16,880To Jesus as he gives himself in compassion on the cross39500:21:19,119 –> 00:21:22,560the final authority in the universe,39600:21:24,060 –> 00:21:24,900this is important,39700:21:24,900 –> 00:21:26,680that every time we struggle with authority,39800:21:26,680 –> 00:21:30,060the final authority in the universe39900:21:30,060 –> 00:21:33,400belongs to the one who knows how to use it.40000:21:35,319 –> 00:21:37,459He’s altogether wise,40100:21:38,439 –> 00:21:41,199he is completely self-sufficient40200:21:42,579 –> 00:21:45,000and his very nature is love.40300:21:46,520 –> 00:21:47,859Rejoice!40400:21:48,920 –> 00:21:52,239The Lord is king.40500:21:53,540 –> 00:21:55,099You’ve been listening to Open the Bible40600:21:55,099 –> 00:21:56,680with Pastor Colin Smith40700:21:56,680 –> 00:22:00,640and a message called Your Struggle with Authority40800:22:00,640 –> 00:22:02,900based on the fifth commandment,40900:22:02,900 –> 00:22:04,560honour your father and mother.41000:22:04,560 –> 00:22:06,339God knows our greatest struggles41100:22:06,380 –> 00:22:08,239and he addresses all those struggles41200:22:08,239 –> 00:22:09,859in the ten commandments.41300:22:09,859 –> 00:22:12,380He talks about our struggle with authority,41400:22:12,380 –> 00:22:13,479our struggle for peace,41500:22:13,479 –> 00:22:15,219our struggle for purity41600:22:15,219 –> 00:22:17,400and our struggle for contentment.41700:22:17,400 –> 00:22:18,880But the good news of the gospel41800:22:18,880 –> 00:22:21,500is that we don’t have to avoid these commands41900:22:21,500 –> 00:22:23,900because God gives what He commands.42000:22:23,900 –> 00:22:26,459Today’s message is part of the series42100:22:26,459 –> 00:22:28,599The Ten Greatest Struggles of your life42200:22:28,599 –> 00:22:31,160and if you’ve missed any of the series so far42300:22:31,160 –> 00:22:32,260you can always catch up42400:22:32,260 –> 00:22:35,380or go back and listen again online at our website42500:22:35,400 –> 00:22:38,359openthebible.org.uk42600:22:38,359 –> 00:22:39,699there you’ll find all the messages42700:22:39,699 –> 00:22:41,780which have already been broadcast.42800:22:41,780 –> 00:22:43,739They’re also available as a podcast42900:22:43,739 –> 00:22:45,819and those on all main podcast sites43000:22:45,819 –> 00:22:48,699search for Open the Bible UK.43100:22:48,699 –> 00:22:50,520You can also find on our website43200:22:50,520 –> 00:22:52,219and available as a podcast43300:22:52,219 –> 00:22:53,959Open the Bible Daily,43400:22:53,959 –> 00:22:57,579that’s a series of two to three minute daily reflections43500:22:57,579 –> 00:22:59,560based on Pastor Collins’ teaching43600:22:59,560 –> 00:23:02,000and read in the UK by Sue McLeish.43700:23:02,619 –> 00:23:06,160Open the Bible is supported by our listeners,43800:23:06,160 –> 00:23:07,359people just like you43900:23:07,359 –> 00:23:10,400and we’re immensely grateful for your support.44000:23:10,400 –> 00:23:12,439If that’s something you haven’t done so far44100:23:12,439 –> 00:23:13,959but you’re considering starting44200:23:13,959 –> 00:23:15,739to support Open the Bible,44300:23:15,739 –> 00:23:18,020we have an offer for you this month.44400:23:18,020 –> 00:23:20,719If you’re able to begin a new direct debit44500:23:20,719 –> 00:23:22,520to the work of Open the Bible44600:23:22,520 –> 00:23:25,359in the amount of five pounds per month or more44700:23:25,359 –> 00:23:28,239or a one off gift of 50 pounds or more,44800:23:28,239 –> 00:23:30,880we’d love to thank you by sending you a copy44900:23:30,920 –> 00:23:32,880of Pastor Collins book,45000:23:32,880 –> 00:23:34,319Drive through the Bible,45100:23:34,319 –> 00:23:35,959a 30 day journey.45200:23:35,959 –> 00:23:38,300Here’s open the Bible’s Amanda Cunningham45300:23:38,300 –> 00:23:40,060to tell you about this offer.45400:23:40,060 –> 00:23:42,819Yes, in May we are really excited45500:23:42,819 –> 00:23:45,280to be giving away a brand new book45600:23:45,280 –> 00:23:49,119by Colin Smith called Drive Through the Bible.45700:23:49,119 –> 00:23:53,140It’s a 30 day journey of just five minutes per day45800:23:53,140 –> 00:23:56,939exploring the landscape of the entire Bible story.45900:23:56,939 –> 00:23:59,439It brings you into the valleys of the Old Testament46000:23:59,459 –> 00:24:03,359with chapters such as curse, covenant and chaos.46100:24:03,359 –> 00:24:06,300It then moves on to the peaks of the glory of Jesus46200:24:06,300 –> 00:24:10,680as we look at how he suffered, rose and is now waiting.46300:24:10,680 –> 00:24:14,000And finally the ups and downs of the Christian life46400:24:14,000 –> 00:24:17,859with chapters such as conflict, joy and death.46500:24:17,859 –> 00:24:19,699It also includes a short study guide46600:24:19,699 –> 00:24:21,780at the back of the book to help you apply46700:24:21,780 –> 00:24:23,640the truths that you’ve learned,46800:24:23,640 –> 00:24:27,300which you can use on your own or as part of a study group.46900:24:27,400 –> 00:24:29,800We’re giving you this book for free in May47000:24:29,800 –> 00:24:31,859when you set up a new direct debit47100:24:31,859 –> 00:24:33,760of at least five pounds47200:24:33,760 –> 00:24:36,699or give a one-off gift of 50 pounds.47300:24:36,699 –> 00:24:37,739Many thanks, Amanda.47400:24:37,739 –> 00:24:39,739So that’s our free gift to you47500:24:39,739 –> 00:24:41,880if you’re able to set up a new direct debit47600:24:41,880 –> 00:24:43,579to the work of Open the Bible47700:24:43,579 –> 00:24:45,479in the amount of five pounds per month47800:24:45,479 –> 00:24:49,040or more or a one-off gift of 50 pounds or more.47900:24:49,040 –> 00:24:51,000It’s Pastor Colin’s new book,48000:24:51,000 –> 00:24:52,880Drive Through The Bible,48100:24:52,880 –> 00:24:54,939A 30 Day Journey,48200:24:54,939 –> 00:24:57,780full terms and conditions and to give online,48300:24:57,780 –> 00:25:02,520come to our website, openthebible.org.uk.48400:25:02,520 –> 00:25:05,020For Open the Bible and Pastor Colin Smith,48500:25:05,020 –> 00:25:06,260I’m David Pick48600:25:06,260 –> 00:25:08,619and I hope you will join us again next time.48700:25:10,520 –> 00:25:17,180Do you ever think about the Commandment,48800:25:17,180 –> 00:25:19,079You shall not murder?48900:25:19,079 –> 00:25:22,500What do you think is encompassed in that Commandment?