1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:02,420 will please open your bibles at Exodus, 2 00:00:02,420 –> 00:00:05,360 in chapter 20 and verse 14. 3 00:00:05,360 –> 00:00:08,180 We come today to the Seventh Commandment. 4 00:00:09,100 –> 00:00:13,600 Where God says to us, you shall not commit adultery. 5 00:00:16,299 –> 00:00:18,200 During the last week some folks asked me 6 00:00:18,200 –> 00:00:21,160 what the sermon was going to be about today. 7 00:00:21,160 –> 00:00:24,700 I told them the subject and they said, 8 00:00:24,700 –> 00:00:28,180 it sounds like a pretty good Sunday to skip church. 9 00:00:30,040 –> 00:00:31,879 So I’m really glad you’re here. 10 00:00:33,240 –> 00:00:34,900 I wondered if anyone would come. 11 00:00:36,400 –> 00:00:39,000 I want you to know right from the outset today 12 00:00:39,000 –> 00:00:42,439 that I am very aware of how sensitive 13 00:00:42,439 –> 00:00:47,439 and how painful an issue sometimes this is for many people. 14 00:00:49,040 –> 00:00:52,820 It’s surely an area in which there is pressure on us all. 15 00:00:54,520 –> 00:00:58,360 Jesus described His generation, 16 00:00:58,380 –> 00:01:01,880 you remember, as being an adulterous generation. 17 00:01:01,880 –> 00:01:03,220 Remember Jesus used that phrase 18 00:01:03,220 –> 00:01:05,160 of wicked and adulterous generation? 19 00:01:05,160 –> 00:01:07,559 That’s how He described His own times. 20 00:01:09,000 –> 00:01:10,959 An adulterous generation, of course, 21 00:01:10,959 –> 00:01:14,260 is a generation that has become confused 22 00:01:14,260 –> 00:01:17,580 in attitude and disordered in behavior 23 00:01:17,580 –> 00:01:19,680 in the whole area of sex. 24 00:01:21,080 –> 00:01:22,339 And there is no doubt whatsoever 25 00:01:22,339 –> 00:01:25,099 that we live in an adulterous generation. 26 00:01:25,099 –> 00:01:28,419 It’s one of the sadnesses, is it not, 27 00:01:28,419 –> 00:01:30,879 that our country, our country, 28 00:01:32,040 –> 00:01:35,620 built on such principles to honor the Lord, 29 00:01:35,620 –> 00:01:38,559 has become the primary producer 30 00:01:38,559 –> 00:01:41,540 for the whole world of pornography. 31 00:01:43,279 –> 00:01:45,160 And we live in a setting 32 00:01:45,160 –> 00:01:46,839 at the beginning of the 21st century 33 00:01:46,839 –> 00:01:48,959 where it is extremely difficult 34 00:01:50,040 –> 00:01:53,779 to be pure in your mind and in your heart 35 00:01:53,779 –> 00:01:55,199 and in our behavior. 36 00:01:56,360 –> 00:01:57,419 We’ve called this series 37 00:01:57,419 –> 00:01:59,339 Unlocking Your 10 Greatest Struggles 38 00:01:59,339 –> 00:02:01,540 and we’re using the image remember 39 00:02:01,540 –> 00:02:04,099 of climbing a cliff face. 40 00:02:04,099 –> 00:02:06,260 And when it comes to this struggle, 41 00:02:06,260 –> 00:02:08,699 some of us are on the cliff face 42 00:02:08,699 –> 00:02:10,220 and we feel like we’re going to fall. 43 00:02:10,220 –> 00:02:12,419 We’re not quite sure how to move forward. 44 00:02:13,339 –> 00:02:14,960 And if you’re stuck on the cliff face, 45 00:02:14,960 –> 00:02:16,479 the last thing in the world that you need 46 00:02:16,479 –> 00:02:18,000 is someone shouting at you. 47 00:02:19,039 –> 00:02:20,979 We’re not gonna do that today. 48 00:02:20,979 –> 00:02:22,820 What you do need is someone who can 49 00:02:22,839 –> 00:02:24,660 show you where you can put your foot 50 00:02:24,660 –> 00:02:26,179 or where you can put your hand 51 00:02:26,179 –> 00:02:27,779 so that you’re not gonna fall off 52 00:02:27,779 –> 00:02:30,639 but you are gonna keep as we reminded earlier, 53 00:02:30,639 –> 00:02:32,199 pressing on. 54 00:02:33,979 –> 00:02:35,300 So I want to speak in a way 55 00:02:35,300 –> 00:02:39,259 that will be encouraging on this issue today 56 00:02:39,259 –> 00:02:43,600 and to show where the door of hope is to be found. 57 00:02:44,619 –> 00:02:46,419 And then I’m also conscious of course 58 00:02:46,419 –> 00:02:48,360 that we have a growing number of children 59 00:02:48,360 –> 00:02:50,839 in the congregation and that is a wonderful thing 60 00:02:50,839 –> 00:02:52,800 that we want to encourage every Sunday 61 00:02:53,360 –> 00:02:57,639 so I will try and speak in a way that is clear 62 00:02:57,639 –> 00:03:00,059 but also a way that is discrete. 63 00:03:01,199 –> 00:03:02,940 Now talking of children, 64 00:03:02,940 –> 00:03:06,600 the best message that I have ever heard bar none 65 00:03:06,600 –> 00:03:09,800 on the Seventh Commandment I heard downstairs 66 00:03:09,800 –> 00:03:12,539 in the fellowship hall on a Sunday morning 67 00:03:12,539 –> 00:03:13,759 when I was not in the pulpit, 68 00:03:13,759 –> 00:03:16,360 I was free to visit some of the classes 69 00:03:16,360 –> 00:03:18,800 and it so happened two years ago 70 00:03:18,800 –> 00:03:21,220 they were doing the Ten Commandments in Sunday school 71 00:03:21,259 –> 00:03:24,160 and I heard the Sunday school teacher tell this story 72 00:03:24,160 –> 00:03:26,919 that I noted down and I’ve adapted it a little bit 73 00:03:26,919 –> 00:03:30,399 but it remains in my mind the clearest depiction 74 00:03:30,399 –> 00:03:32,179 of what the Seventh Commandment is all about 75 00:03:32,179 –> 00:03:33,240 that I have ever heard. 76 00:03:33,240 –> 00:03:36,179 So I don’t often tell children’s stories from the pulpit 77 00:03:36,179 –> 00:03:38,960 but is it all right if I tell one today? 78 00:03:38,960 –> 00:03:40,320 Okay, you can settle back. 79 00:03:40,320 –> 00:03:44,199 This is a story about a little boy called Sam 80 00:03:45,119 –> 00:03:48,399 and about his friend who was called Johnny. 81 00:03:49,279 –> 00:03:51,259 Now one day, Sam’s mother asked him 82 00:03:51,259 –> 00:03:54,220 what he would like to do for his birthday. 83 00:03:54,220 –> 00:03:56,979 Well, said Sam, I’d like to have a party, 84 00:03:56,979 –> 00:03:59,460 then I’d like to have a sleepover, 85 00:03:59,460 –> 00:04:03,479 and then the next day I wanna go fishing with my dad. 86 00:04:03,479 –> 00:04:05,119 Mom said, well that’s great. 87 00:04:05,119 –> 00:04:07,699 Who do you want to come to your party? 88 00:04:07,699 –> 00:04:09,580 He said, I just want one person to come, 89 00:04:09,580 –> 00:04:12,179 Johnny, he’s my best friend. 90 00:04:12,179 –> 00:04:13,699 I want Johnny to come for the party, 91 00:04:13,699 –> 00:04:15,000 Johnny to stay for the sleepover, 92 00:04:15,000 –> 00:04:16,540 I want Johnny to come on the fishing trip 93 00:04:16,540 –> 00:04:18,119 with dad as well. 94 00:04:18,160 –> 00:04:20,959 Okay, said his mom, if that’s what you want. 95 00:04:23,059 –> 00:04:24,959 So the next day Sam asked Johnny 96 00:04:24,959 –> 00:04:26,320 if he would come to the party, 97 00:04:26,320 –> 00:04:28,440 which was going to be on Friday. 98 00:04:29,700 –> 00:04:31,679 Boys and girls, which day was it going to be? 99 00:04:31,679 –> 00:04:33,619 On Friday. 100 00:04:33,619 –> 00:04:34,459 We’ve got it. 101 00:04:34,459 –> 00:04:36,320 I just wanna make sure you’re with me now, okay? 102 00:04:38,299 –> 00:04:40,519 Johnny said Sam, I want you to come to my party, 103 00:04:40,519 –> 00:04:41,760 we’re gonna have a sleepover, 104 00:04:41,760 –> 00:04:43,160 then it’s gonna be fishing, 105 00:04:43,160 –> 00:04:44,959 it’s just gonna be the two of us, 106 00:04:44,959 –> 00:04:47,679 it’s on Friday, and it’s gonna be awesome. 107 00:04:48,920 –> 00:04:50,260 Well, Johnny was really excited 108 00:04:50,260 –> 00:04:52,279 because Sam was his best friend 109 00:04:52,279 –> 00:04:54,679 and Johnny really liked going to Sam’s house 110 00:04:54,679 –> 00:04:58,239 for a sleepover, it’ll be great, he said to Sam. 111 00:04:58,239 –> 00:05:00,720 You will definitely come, said Sam, 112 00:05:00,720 –> 00:05:04,179 because you’re the only person I’ve invited to the party. 113 00:05:06,339 –> 00:05:09,519 I’ll definitely come, said Johnnie. 114 00:05:09,519 –> 00:05:10,579 I promise. 115 00:05:11,899 –> 00:05:13,239 Well, a few days later, 116 00:05:14,359 –> 00:05:17,779 before the party, another boy in the class 117 00:05:17,779 –> 00:05:20,559 whose name was Luke talked to Johnnie. 118 00:05:20,559 –> 00:05:23,980 Hey, Johnnie, he said, I’m having a party. 119 00:05:23,980 –> 00:05:25,059 He said it’s gonna be marvellous, 120 00:05:25,059 –> 00:05:27,980 it’s gonna be at Chuck E Cheese’s! 121 00:05:27,980 –> 00:05:29,660 Which of course, marvellous. 122 00:05:29,660 –> 00:05:32,720 And Chuck E Cheese’s was Johnnie’s favourite place 123 00:05:32,720 –> 00:05:34,380 and when he asked who was going to the party 124 00:05:34,380 –> 00:05:36,540 he found that a whole group of his friends 125 00:05:36,540 –> 00:05:38,420 were going to be at Luke’s party 126 00:05:38,420 –> 00:05:39,899 and he said it’s gonna be marvellous. 127 00:05:39,899 –> 00:05:41,179 Oh yeah, he said, it’ll be wonderful. 128 00:05:41,179 –> 00:05:43,640 After the party, we’re all gonna have a sleepover 129 00:05:43,640 –> 00:05:45,040 and it’s gonna be intense! 130 00:05:48,500 –> 00:05:49,980 When’s the party, said Johnnie? 131 00:05:49,980 –> 00:05:54,220 It’s going to be on, you guessed it, Friday. 132 00:05:54,220 –> 00:05:55,720 Oh! 133 00:05:55,720 –> 00:05:57,279 Johnnie didn’t know what to do. 134 00:05:58,239 –> 00:05:59,920 He loved Chuck E Cheese’s, 135 00:05:59,920 –> 00:06:01,880 and all his friends were going to Luke’s party, 136 00:06:01,880 –> 00:06:04,940 but he promised that he would go to Sam’s. 137 00:06:06,239 –> 00:06:08,359 A few minutes later, he saw Sam in the playground. 138 00:06:08,359 –> 00:06:13,040 He said, Sam, I’m not sure if I’m going to be able 139 00:06:13,040 –> 00:06:14,459 to come to your party. 140 00:06:16,299 –> 00:06:17,339 Why not, said Sam? 141 00:06:18,179 –> 00:06:22,279 Well, Luke’s having a party and 142 00:06:23,679 –> 00:06:25,420 I’d really like to go to that one. 143 00:06:27,660 –> 00:06:29,019 Well, Sam didn’t say a thing. 144 00:06:29,019 –> 00:06:30,519 He didn’t know what to say. 145 00:06:32,579 –> 00:06:36,100 But later he came home and he cried and he cried 146 00:06:36,100 –> 00:06:37,500 and he cried. 147 00:06:39,559 –> 00:06:42,140 Johnnie told me he was coming to my party, 148 00:06:42,140 –> 00:06:43,200 he said to his Mom. 149 00:06:44,119 –> 00:06:45,980 He said he was my best friend. 150 00:06:46,140 –> 00:06:48,239 And he promised he’d come. 151 00:06:50,700 –> 00:06:53,579 And then after a while Sam got angry. 152 00:06:54,799 –> 00:06:58,559 I don’t care if Johnnie doesn’t come to my party he said 153 00:06:58,559 –> 00:07:02,660 I hate him and he’s never going to be my best friend again. 154 00:07:05,220 –> 00:07:08,279 Well, Johnnie wasn’t very happy when he went home either. 155 00:07:08,279 –> 00:07:10,760 He had been invited to two parties and he knew 156 00:07:10,760 –> 00:07:12,720 he had to make up his mind. 157 00:07:12,720 –> 00:07:15,559 He promised to go to Sam’s, he wanted to go to Luke’s. 158 00:07:15,600 –> 00:07:16,720 Sam, what was he gonna do? 159 00:07:16,720 –> 00:07:19,059 So he decided to ask his Dad. 160 00:07:20,660 –> 00:07:22,760 Dad, he said I’ve got a bit of a problem. 161 00:07:26,359 –> 00:07:28,339 I promised I’d go to Sam’s party 162 00:07:28,339 –> 00:07:30,540 but now I’ve been invited to go to Luke’s party 163 00:07:30,540 –> 00:07:32,440 and I want to go to that one too. 164 00:07:32,440 –> 00:07:34,619 And Luke’s party he said is a Chuck E. Cheeses 165 00:07:34,619 –> 00:07:35,940 and then they’re gonna have a sleepover 166 00:07:35,940 –> 00:07:37,760 and it’s going to be intense. 167 00:07:40,399 –> 00:07:42,179 But the thing is, Dad, I told Sam 168 00:07:42,239 –> 00:07:45,119 if you didn’t want to come to his party I promised. 169 00:07:51,200 –> 00:07:53,220 Hm, said his dad, you know Dads sometimes do that 170 00:07:53,220 –> 00:07:54,079 don’t they, hm? 171 00:07:58,559 –> 00:08:00,279 So you made a promise 172 00:08:01,839 –> 00:08:03,799 and then you got a better offer. 173 00:08:06,359 –> 00:08:10,059 This is a big decision, his Dad said to Johnny. 174 00:08:10,959 –> 00:08:13,119 And then he said this 175 00:08:14,760 –> 00:08:19,059 Johnny what if I got a better offer 176 00:08:19,059 –> 00:08:20,200 for a wife. 177 00:08:21,799 –> 00:08:23,399 You know he said there are really a lot 178 00:08:23,399 –> 00:08:26,440 of very smart women who work in my office 179 00:08:26,440 –> 00:08:28,940 and some of them are pretty friendly. 180 00:08:30,640 –> 00:08:32,940 You can’t do that said Johnny, 181 00:08:34,280 –> 00:08:36,380 you made a promise to mum. 182 00:08:36,859 –> 00:08:40,460 Mum that’s right said his dad. 183 00:08:42,760 –> 00:08:44,219 And that’s why it’s really important 184 00:08:44,219 –> 00:08:46,460 that we learn to keep our promises 185 00:08:46,460 –> 00:08:47,739 even when we’re young. 186 00:08:49,659 –> 00:08:52,780 So the next morning Johnny phoned Sam. 187 00:08:52,780 –> 00:08:54,900 Sam I’m sorry said I upset you 188 00:08:54,900 –> 00:08:56,400 about talking about Luke’s party 189 00:08:56,400 –> 00:08:58,539 I should never have done that 190 00:08:58,539 –> 00:09:00,700 if you still want me to come to your party 191 00:09:00,700 –> 00:09:01,979 I really want to come. 192 00:09:03,700 –> 00:09:06,039 Well Johnny had a blast at Sam’s party 193 00:09:06,039 –> 00:09:07,039 and so did Sam. 194 00:09:07,039 –> 00:09:08,780 In fact they had so much fun 195 00:09:08,780 –> 00:09:10,320 that Johnny didn’t even think about 196 00:09:10,320 –> 00:09:11,900 Chuck E Cheese’s or Luke’s party 197 00:09:11,900 –> 00:09:12,960 or the tents. 198 00:09:12,960 –> 00:09:15,280 And the next morning when they went out fishing 199 00:09:15,280 –> 00:09:17,960 they caught a fish so big 200 00:09:19,119 –> 00:09:22,000 that it took both of them to pull it in 201 00:09:23,000 –> 00:09:24,280 well a few days later 202 00:09:24,280 –> 00:09:26,460 Johnny got a note in the mail from Sam 203 00:09:26,460 –> 00:09:27,299 and it said, 204 00:09:27,299 –> 00:09:30,320 dear Johnny thanks for making my party 205 00:09:30,320 –> 00:09:32,659 the best I’ve ever had 206 00:09:33,619 –> 00:09:34,859 and it was the best party 207 00:09:34,859 –> 00:09:37,359 Johnny had ever been to as well. 208 00:09:37,359 –> 00:09:38,559 Johnny smiled to himself 209 00:09:38,559 –> 00:09:40,679 he felt good inside 210 00:09:40,679 –> 00:09:42,640 and he was so glad 211 00:09:43,719 –> 00:09:46,119 that he’d kept his promise. 212 00:09:46,119 –> 00:09:47,200 Now, 213 00:09:47,200 –> 00:09:49,320 that’s what the 7th commandment is all about. 214 00:09:49,320 –> 00:09:52,640 It’s about keeping your promise 215 00:09:52,640 –> 00:09:53,919 and at the simplest level 216 00:09:53,919 –> 00:09:55,599 that we can understand as children 217 00:09:55,599 –> 00:09:57,559 the importance of keeping a promise 218 00:09:57,559 –> 00:09:58,719 even when we’re young 219 00:09:59,840 –> 00:10:02,900 that story is also a very profound parable 220 00:10:03,820 –> 00:10:06,380 in all of its dimensions 221 00:10:06,380 –> 00:10:09,159 for our adult understanding 222 00:10:09,159 –> 00:10:11,380 of the 7th commandment 223 00:10:11,380 –> 00:10:12,799 and all that it says to us. 224 00:10:13,900 –> 00:10:16,500 Now, Jesus, of course, made it clear 225 00:10:16,500 –> 00:10:19,500 that the 7th commandment is about keeping your promise 226 00:10:19,500 –> 00:10:20,960 not just in what you do 227 00:10:20,960 –> 00:10:23,820 but also in what you think 228 00:10:23,820 –> 00:10:25,979 remember his words in Matthew chapter 5 229 00:10:25,979 –> 00:10:28,140 for he explains the 7th commandment 230 00:10:28,140 –> 00:10:30,239 he said you have heard that it was said 231 00:10:30,239 –> 00:10:31,599 do not commit adultery 232 00:10:31,619 –> 00:10:35,440 but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully 233 00:10:35,440 –> 00:10:40,020 has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 234 00:10:40,020 –> 00:10:42,580 So the words of Jesus make it clear 235 00:10:42,580 –> 00:10:47,580 that this issue of purity goes even to our thoughts 236 00:10:48,299 –> 00:10:50,260 and since it involves our thoughts 237 00:10:50,260 –> 00:10:52,260 as well as our actions 238 00:10:52,260 –> 00:10:54,020 there can be no doubt surely 239 00:10:54,020 –> 00:10:59,020 that this speaks to one the 10 greatest struggles 240 00:10:59,099 –> 00:11:01,080 of our lives. 241 00:11:01,080 –> 00:11:02,200 Now in the time that we have 242 00:11:02,200 –> 00:11:03,960 I want to do two things very simply. 243 00:11:03,960 –> 00:11:06,919 The first is to give a biblical framework 244 00:11:06,919 –> 00:11:09,359 for understanding our sexuality 245 00:11:09,359 –> 00:11:11,500 and I want to do that in three simple statements 246 00:11:11,500 –> 00:11:13,200 that are very, very important 247 00:11:13,200 –> 00:11:15,719 but is important for us to grasp a biblical framework 248 00:11:15,719 –> 00:11:17,799 for this important issue. 249 00:11:17,799 –> 00:11:21,400 And then secondly I want us to identify two issues 250 00:11:21,400 –> 00:11:23,780 in which we need practical help 251 00:11:23,780 –> 00:11:27,659 in moving forward to overcome in the struggle. 252 00:11:27,659 –> 00:11:29,559 So first of all, then the biblical framework 253 00:11:29,559 –> 00:11:30,500 in three statements. 254 00:11:31,200 –> 00:11:32,960 Here’s the first, God has given us 255 00:11:32,960 –> 00:11:35,979 the good gift of our sexuality. 256 00:11:35,979 –> 00:11:39,840 God has given us the good gift of our sexuality 257 00:11:39,840 –> 00:11:43,059 and I want to emphasize that phrase the good gift. 258 00:11:43,059 –> 00:11:44,099 It was in the beginning 259 00:11:44,099 –> 00:11:47,080 that God created them male and female. 260 00:11:47,080 –> 00:11:49,140 This was God’s idea. 261 00:11:49,140 –> 00:11:50,280 This is wonderful. 262 00:11:51,460 –> 00:11:52,960 Think of what that means. 263 00:11:54,419 –> 00:11:58,580 The first sexual thought in the universe 264 00:11:59,299 –> 00:12:02,799 was in the mind of God, 265 00:12:04,179 –> 00:12:06,979 and the first sexual thought in the universe 266 00:12:06,979 –> 00:12:09,640 was absolutely pure. 267 00:12:11,659 –> 00:12:14,260 In the creative genius of God 268 00:12:14,260 –> 00:12:16,780 He conceives this marvelous way 269 00:12:16,780 –> 00:12:19,099 in which He will create not just humanity 270 00:12:19,099 –> 00:12:20,580 but male and female. 271 00:12:20,580 –> 00:12:22,599 He creates the woman from the man. 272 00:12:22,599 –> 00:12:26,159 He then brings the woman to the man in the first marriage 273 00:12:26,159 –> 00:12:27,580 and in that first marriage 274 00:12:27,599 –> 00:12:29,419 there is not just a union, 275 00:12:29,419 –> 00:12:33,919 there is a reunion, a completion for both. 276 00:12:35,080 –> 00:12:37,559 It goes back to the very nature of their creation. 277 00:12:38,479 –> 00:12:39,619 It’s a wonderful thing. 278 00:12:41,239 –> 00:12:43,880 A beautiful thing for us to grasp. 279 00:12:43,880 –> 00:12:46,580 Now I say this because this is very important 280 00:12:46,580 –> 00:12:48,659 especially for those who may have been brought up 281 00:12:48,659 –> 00:12:52,419 with a negative view of these things. 282 00:12:52,419 –> 00:12:54,960 We read this morning earlier from the book of Hebrews 283 00:12:54,960 –> 00:12:59,140 that says that, the marriage bed is to be kept pure. 284 00:12:59,140 –> 00:13:02,440 And the reason of course that it is to be kept pure 285 00:13:02,440 –> 00:13:05,080 is that it is pure. 286 00:13:06,520 –> 00:13:08,400 And some need the help from the scriptures 287 00:13:08,400 –> 00:13:11,859 of really seeing that God has made this wonderful 288 00:13:11,859 –> 00:13:15,520 and beautiful and pure gift 289 00:13:15,520 –> 00:13:18,039 within the bonds of marriage. 290 00:13:18,039 –> 00:13:20,000 The Bible has a very wonderful phrase 291 00:13:20,000 –> 00:13:23,679 to describe the partnership of a man and woman in marriage. 292 00:13:23,679 –> 00:13:25,840 Remember from Genesis chapter two 293 00:13:25,840 –> 00:13:28,599 and verse 24, it’s quoted by the Lord Jesus, 294 00:13:28,599 –> 00:13:30,219 also in the New Testament. 295 00:13:30,219 –> 00:13:32,700 A man, God says, will leave his father and mother 296 00:13:32,700 –> 00:13:34,299 and be united to his wife 297 00:13:34,299 –> 00:13:38,539 and they will become one flesh. 298 00:13:38,539 –> 00:13:43,140 The beautiful phrase, they will become one flesh. 299 00:13:44,419 –> 00:13:46,460 Now, becoming one flesh, obviously, 300 00:13:46,460 –> 00:13:50,039 involves the union of two bodies in marriage, 301 00:13:50,039 –> 00:13:52,700 but it involves much more than the union of two bodies. 302 00:13:52,700 –> 00:13:55,580 It is the joining together of two minds and two hearts 303 00:13:55,580 –> 00:13:58,380 and two wills, two souls, two spirits. 304 00:13:58,380 –> 00:14:03,179 It is the joining together in a beautiful union, 305 00:14:04,080 –> 00:14:07,460 two lives in partnership together. 306 00:14:08,719 –> 00:14:10,280 To try and give an illustration of this, 307 00:14:10,280 –> 00:14:13,619 those who know a little bit of theology 308 00:14:13,619 –> 00:14:15,099 will be familiar with the words 309 00:14:15,099 –> 00:14:17,179 justification and sanctification. 310 00:14:17,179 –> 00:14:19,440 In fact, I think most of us here should know these words 311 00:14:19,440 –> 00:14:20,599 because we use them often. 312 00:14:20,599 –> 00:14:24,539 They’re Bible words, justification and sanctification. 313 00:14:24,539 –> 00:14:26,500 You say, where on Earth are you going with this? 314 00:14:26,500 –> 00:14:27,500 I promise you hang on. 315 00:14:27,500 –> 00:14:29,979 You never knew theology was going to be so interesting. 316 00:14:29,979 –> 00:14:33,539 But these two words, justification and sanctification. 317 00:14:33,539 –> 00:14:37,619 Justification, remember, is a decisive event 318 00:14:37,619 –> 00:14:40,780 in which you are forever bonded to Christ. 319 00:14:41,900 –> 00:14:45,119 Sanctification is an ongoing process 320 00:14:45,119 –> 00:14:48,859 by which you grow in your relationship with him. 321 00:14:49,820 –> 00:14:52,979 Now, when we come to this phrase, one flesh, 322 00:14:52,979 –> 00:14:56,580 it’s a little bit like both of these. 323 00:14:56,580 –> 00:14:58,299 When the Bible talks about the man and the woman 324 00:14:58,299 –> 00:15:00,940 becoming one flesh within the bond of marriage, 325 00:15:00,940 –> 00:15:05,859 it is both a decisive event in which you are bound forever 326 00:15:05,859 –> 00:15:09,179 to the one to whom you have given your pledge 327 00:15:09,179 –> 00:15:13,979 but it is also a lifelong process of growing together 328 00:15:14,059 –> 00:15:19,059 increasingly in body and mind and soul and spirit 329 00:15:20,640 –> 00:15:22,380 and God has blended these things together 330 00:15:22,380 –> 00:15:24,080 just like justification, sanctification 331 00:15:24,080 –> 00:15:26,299 should never be separated in the Christian life 332 00:15:26,299 –> 00:15:29,099 so these dimensions of what it means to be one flesh 333 00:15:29,099 –> 00:15:31,380 should never be separated in marriage. 334 00:15:32,340 –> 00:15:35,739 You see, a lot of marriages run into difficulty, it seems, 335 00:15:35,739 –> 00:15:40,659 because some husbands are very interested 336 00:15:40,659 –> 00:15:45,539 in being one in body but not always as interested 337 00:15:45,539 –> 00:15:48,599 as they ought to be about being one in mind 338 00:15:48,599 –> 00:15:52,099 and soul and spirit, am I saying that right? 339 00:15:54,059 –> 00:15:57,179 And some wives are very interested in being one 340 00:15:57,179 –> 00:16:02,179 in mind and spirit and soul but don’t have a lot of interest 341 00:16:02,619 –> 00:16:04,020 in being one in body. 342 00:16:05,140 –> 00:16:07,960 Now, God has brought these two things together 343 00:16:07,960 –> 00:16:11,679 and what God has joined together should never be separated. 344 00:16:11,679 –> 00:16:14,000 The Church of England has a beautiful phrase 345 00:16:14,000 –> 00:16:16,580 that’s used in the marriage service in its liturgy. 346 00:16:16,580 –> 00:16:18,719 After the vows have been made by a couple 347 00:16:18,719 –> 00:16:21,700 the pastor will say these words over the couple. 348 00:16:21,700 –> 00:16:23,599 He will say, as a prayer to God, 349 00:16:23,599 –> 00:16:28,200 Strengthen the union of their hearts 350 00:16:28,200 –> 00:16:31,000 by the union of their bodies. 351 00:16:31,000 –> 00:16:32,479 That’s beautiful. 352 00:16:32,479 –> 00:16:35,000 Strengthen the union of their hearts 353 00:16:35,000 –> 00:16:36,400 by the union of their bodies. 354 00:16:36,520 –> 00:16:37,880 These two things together 355 00:16:37,880 –> 00:16:39,919 part of what it means to be one flesh 356 00:16:39,919 –> 00:16:41,640 and what God has joined together 357 00:16:41,640 –> 00:16:45,500 let no man or woman separate. 358 00:16:45,500 –> 00:16:46,340 That’s the first thing, 359 00:16:46,340 –> 00:16:49,340 God has given us the good gift of sexuality 360 00:16:49,340 –> 00:16:52,000 and some of us need to be refreshed from the scriptures 361 00:16:52,000 –> 00:16:54,280 about the goodness of it. 362 00:16:54,280 –> 00:16:56,760 Second, we all live with the pressure 363 00:16:56,760 –> 00:16:59,739 of a fallen sexuality. 364 00:16:59,739 –> 00:17:01,219 The entrance of sin into the world 365 00:17:01,219 –> 00:17:03,440 has affected every area of our lives. 366 00:17:03,440 –> 00:17:06,319 The effects vary but all of us 367 00:17:06,500 –> 00:17:09,140 live with the effects of a fallen sexuality. 368 00:17:10,060 –> 00:17:13,619 That means that we’re tempted to take God’s good gift 369 00:17:13,619 –> 00:17:16,319 and to use it wrongly. 370 00:17:16,319 –> 00:17:20,359 To use it not as a means of expressing love within marriage 371 00:17:20,359 –> 00:17:25,359 but as a means of finding release or of fulfillment. 372 00:17:26,439 –> 00:17:28,260 The proper place of sexual union, 373 00:17:28,260 –> 00:17:29,160 the Bible makes clear, 374 00:17:29,160 –> 00:17:32,000 is within a loving and a life long marriage, 375 00:17:32,000 –> 00:17:34,599 a partnership with one man and one woman. 376 00:17:35,239 –> 00:17:39,280 But if we take God’s wonderful gift outside of marriage 377 00:17:39,280 –> 00:17:44,280 with another person or if we seek to use it on our own 378 00:17:46,800 –> 00:17:48,839 then we abuse God’s gift 379 00:17:48,839 –> 00:17:51,719 because we lose sight of it’s purpose. 380 00:17:53,119 –> 00:17:57,160 I came across a brilliant analogy to illustrate this point 381 00:17:57,160 –> 00:17:58,599 that I will certainly never forget, 382 00:17:58,599 –> 00:18:00,959 I hope it will be the same for you also. 383 00:18:00,959 –> 00:18:04,339 And perhaps I can best summarize the illustration 384 00:18:04,339 –> 00:18:05,479 in this way. 385 00:18:06,780 –> 00:18:11,619 Sex on your own is the spiritual equivalent 386 00:18:11,619 –> 00:18:13,479 of glue sniffing. 387 00:18:14,859 –> 00:18:16,660 Now think about that. 388 00:18:16,660 –> 00:18:20,900 The purpose of glue is to bind two things together. 389 00:18:23,160 –> 00:18:25,160 And when glue is used for that purpose 390 00:18:25,160 –> 00:18:27,739 it is a wonderful wonderful thing. 391 00:18:29,219 –> 00:18:31,439 But if a person goes off on their own 392 00:18:31,459 –> 00:18:34,880 and uses glue to get a kick or to get high 393 00:18:35,819 –> 00:18:37,900 they are perverting its purpose 394 00:18:37,900 –> 00:18:39,959 and doing damage to themselves. 395 00:18:40,900 –> 00:18:42,560 That’s not what it’s for. 396 00:18:43,579 –> 00:18:47,479 And if you use it like that you do damage to yourself. 397 00:18:48,959 –> 00:18:51,839 Now that is why the whole issue of pornography 398 00:18:51,839 –> 00:18:54,020 in our society is so serious. 399 00:18:54,020 –> 00:18:56,219 We have come to see in our society 400 00:18:56,219 –> 00:18:59,219 sex as a means of release 401 00:18:59,219 –> 00:19:01,640 rather than an expression of love. 402 00:19:02,540 –> 00:19:04,939 And because increasingly we are pumped 403 00:19:04,939 –> 00:19:08,119 with this kind of an approach 404 00:19:08,119 –> 00:19:10,859 it debilitates often within marriage 405 00:19:11,939 –> 00:19:13,920 and it causes so often 406 00:19:14,839 –> 00:19:18,500 us to think in terms before and outside of marriage 407 00:19:18,500 –> 00:19:21,780 that ruin our very capacity to be good 408 00:19:21,780 –> 00:19:24,359 at expressing the heart of love. 409 00:19:25,579 –> 00:19:28,239 When we see sex as an outlet for tension 410 00:19:28,239 –> 00:19:31,680 rather than as the glue to bond together 411 00:19:32,959 –> 00:19:34,579 God’s gift gets abused. 412 00:19:34,579 –> 00:19:36,520 And that can happen both inside 413 00:19:36,520 –> 00:19:38,699 and outside marriage of course. 414 00:19:39,719 –> 00:19:41,880 Ronald Wallace a very insightful writer 415 00:19:41,880 –> 00:19:44,719 makes this comment that I find very, very helpful. 416 00:19:44,719 –> 00:19:49,040 He says, instead of serving true love 417 00:19:49,040 –> 00:19:53,819 sex used in this way becomes harnessed to self centeredness 418 00:19:53,819 –> 00:19:57,319 it dust tends to destroy the possibility 419 00:19:57,319 –> 00:20:00,040 of the very relationship it was designed to further. 420 00:20:00,939 –> 00:20:04,280 When you abuse it, it tends to destroy 421 00:20:04,280 –> 00:20:06,560 the very possibility of the relationship 422 00:20:06,560 –> 00:20:08,760 that it was designed to further. 423 00:20:09,819 –> 00:20:13,300 Pornography is adultery in the mind 424 00:20:13,300 –> 00:20:16,040 and perhaps the biggest issue with it 425 00:20:16,040 –> 00:20:20,560 is that it reduces your capacity to love. 426 00:20:22,160 –> 00:20:23,459 So this is our attention. 427 00:20:24,500 –> 00:20:27,060 God has given us the gift of sexuality 428 00:20:27,079 –> 00:20:31,180 but we all live with the pressure of a fallen sexuality. 429 00:20:31,180 –> 00:20:33,479 Here’s the third thing, in our Biblical framework, 430 00:20:33,479 –> 00:20:37,000 Christ has come to redeem our sexuality. 431 00:20:37,000 –> 00:20:40,339 Christ has come to redeem every part of your life. 432 00:20:40,339 –> 00:20:43,699 Christianity is not just about the saving of your soul, 433 00:20:43,699 –> 00:20:46,739 it is about the redeeming of your life. 434 00:20:48,060 –> 00:20:50,060 That is why the New Testament speaks 435 00:20:50,060 –> 00:20:52,119 about every dimension of our life. 436 00:20:52,119 –> 00:20:55,280 Paul says may the God of peace sanctify you 437 00:20:55,459 –> 00:20:57,060 and may through and through 438 00:20:57,060 –> 00:20:59,780 your whole spirit, soul and body 439 00:20:59,780 –> 00:21:02,579 be kept blameless until the coming of Jesus. 440 00:21:02,579 –> 00:21:04,099 And then just in case there’s any doubt, 441 00:21:04,099 –> 00:21:06,500 he says the one who has called you is faithful 442 00:21:06,500 –> 00:21:07,760 and he’ll do it. 443 00:21:08,680 –> 00:21:11,599 He’ll sanctify you spirit, soul and body. 444 00:21:12,819 –> 00:21:14,819 That’s why the apostle Paul says 445 00:21:14,819 –> 00:21:16,979 honor God with your body. 446 00:21:16,979 –> 00:21:18,739 1 Corinthians 6, 20. 447 00:21:18,739 –> 00:21:21,459 Each of you should learn to control his own body 448 00:21:21,459 –> 00:21:23,660 in a way that is holy and honorable. 449 00:21:23,660 –> 00:21:25,540 One Thessalonians 4.4. 450 00:21:27,260 –> 00:21:29,020 Now maybe at this point some of us feel 451 00:21:29,020 –> 00:21:31,339 we’re staring defeat in the face. 452 00:21:32,739 –> 00:21:35,839 And so let me point to the door of hope. 453 00:21:35,839 –> 00:21:37,439 If you were here at the beginning of this series, 454 00:21:37,439 –> 00:21:39,939 you might remember a little story that we told, 455 00:21:39,939 –> 00:21:41,800 I’ll just review it in case some have forgotten 456 00:21:41,800 –> 00:21:43,160 or didn’t hear. 457 00:21:43,160 –> 00:21:45,479 But do you remember the story about the thief 458 00:21:45,479 –> 00:21:48,099 who was converted while he was in prison? 459 00:21:48,099 –> 00:21:49,880 And after he came out of prison, 460 00:21:49,880 –> 00:21:52,520 he came into church and he saw the 10 Commandments 461 00:21:52,599 –> 00:21:53,439 on the wall. 462 00:21:53,439 –> 00:21:54,680 And the first thing his eye goes to, of course, 463 00:21:54,680 –> 00:21:56,739 is the command that says, thou shalt not steal. 464 00:21:56,739 –> 00:22:00,099 And he felt so condemned because of his past. 465 00:22:00,099 –> 00:22:01,760 He felt even worse about his future 466 00:22:01,760 –> 00:22:03,439 because he thought, this habit’s so ingrained, 467 00:22:03,439 –> 00:22:05,939 I’m just gonna go and do it all over again. 468 00:22:05,939 –> 00:22:08,699 And then as the story goes, 469 00:22:08,699 –> 00:22:10,800 and it is a true story by the way, 470 00:22:10,800 –> 00:22:12,619 he began to look at this and he felt he was 471 00:22:12,619 –> 00:22:15,560 hearing the Holy Spirit say it to him, 472 00:22:15,560 –> 00:22:17,199 the same words in a different tone, 473 00:22:17,199 –> 00:22:19,880 not as a command, but as a promise. 474 00:22:19,959 –> 00:22:24,060 He’d always heard it as, you shall not steal. 475 00:22:24,060 –> 00:22:26,400 Now because the Spirit of God lived within him, 476 00:22:26,400 –> 00:22:28,280 he was hearing it in a different tone. 477 00:22:28,280 –> 00:22:29,959 You shall not steal. 478 00:22:31,280 –> 00:22:33,219 There’s a new power at work within you 479 00:22:33,219 –> 00:22:35,979 and you are able to break the old ingrained patterns. 480 00:22:35,979 –> 00:22:38,160 You’re not going to steal. 481 00:22:39,979 –> 00:22:43,099 Now some of us need to hear the seventh 482 00:22:43,099 –> 00:22:45,180 commandment in that tone. 483 00:22:46,060 –> 00:22:50,219 As a Christian believer endowed by the Holy Spirit, 484 00:22:50,219 –> 00:22:54,979 empowered and enabled by the presence of God in your life, 485 00:22:54,979 –> 00:22:58,000 the Lord would say to you in this commandment 486 00:22:58,000 –> 00:23:00,280 as someone indwelt by the Spirit of God, 487 00:23:00,280 –> 00:23:02,780 you shall not commit adultery. 488 00:23:04,400 –> 00:23:06,199 Not in your action. 489 00:23:06,199 –> 00:23:07,959 And not in your mind. 490 00:23:08,920 –> 00:23:10,640 You are going to be able to break 491 00:23:10,640 –> 00:23:15,140 even where this has been an ingrained habit, 492 00:23:15,140 –> 00:23:19,380 the power for victory is yours, you belong to Christ. 493 00:23:19,380 –> 00:23:21,199 And this Christ has come to forgive you 494 00:23:21,199 –> 00:23:23,420 and to restore you and to redeem you 495 00:23:23,420 –> 00:23:27,000 so that you may walk in the path of purity. 496 00:23:29,199 –> 00:23:30,680 So in these last moments this morning, 497 00:23:30,680 –> 00:23:34,859 I want us to grasp two areas of the struggle 498 00:23:34,859 –> 00:23:39,199 in which the power of Christ is at work in us to redeem. 499 00:23:39,199 –> 00:23:41,020 Let me identify these two struggles. 500 00:23:41,020 –> 00:23:43,640 First there’s the struggle to overcome, 501 00:23:43,680 –> 00:23:46,199 which is a real battle for many 502 00:23:46,199 –> 00:23:49,359 and the other is the struggle to forgive, 503 00:23:49,359 –> 00:23:51,979 which is a big issue for some. 504 00:23:53,079 –> 00:23:55,400 Let me just comment on these two briefly. 505 00:23:55,400 –> 00:23:57,699 First, the struggle to overcome. 506 00:23:57,699 –> 00:24:00,239 Let me suggest two strategies for this. 507 00:24:00,239 –> 00:24:03,439 The first is, as you look at the temptation 508 00:24:03,439 –> 00:24:08,439 that is before you, see what this means for Christ. 509 00:24:10,780 –> 00:24:13,599 Now I take this from Genesis 39 in verse 10, 510 00:24:13,599 –> 00:24:15,000 which is the story of Joseph, 511 00:24:15,000 –> 00:24:16,739 one of the most insightful stories 512 00:24:16,739 –> 00:24:18,180 on this issue in the Bible. 513 00:24:19,719 –> 00:24:22,579 Remember, Joseph was tempted by Potiphar’s wife, 514 00:24:22,579 –> 00:24:25,699 a beautiful woman, who was trying to entice him, 515 00:24:25,699 –> 00:24:27,819 and here’s this young guy in a foreign country. 516 00:24:27,819 –> 00:24:29,459 Nobody knows, I mean, can you imagine 517 00:24:29,459 –> 00:24:34,219 the pressure of desire and opportunity coming together? 518 00:24:35,339 –> 00:24:37,079 Now this is what Joseph says. 519 00:24:38,739 –> 00:24:41,819 He says in Genesis chapter 39 and verse 10, 520 00:24:41,859 –> 00:24:46,859 How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God? 521 00:24:49,099 –> 00:24:51,560 It’s what he said to Potiphar’s wife. 522 00:24:51,560 –> 00:24:52,479 Now notice what he does. 523 00:24:52,479 –> 00:24:54,479 First, he identifies sin for what it is. 524 00:24:54,479 –> 00:24:55,859 He calls it a wicked thing. 525 00:24:57,479 –> 00:25:01,000 There’s no moving words around here 526 00:25:01,000 –> 00:25:03,520 to try and pretend that it’s really okay. 527 00:25:03,520 –> 00:25:05,719 He says this is a wicked thing, this is sin. 528 00:25:06,900 –> 00:25:08,459 And if you’re going to win, 529 00:25:08,459 –> 00:25:10,760 you have to name it for what it is. 530 00:25:11,979 –> 00:25:13,260 You’ll never make any progress 531 00:25:13,260 –> 00:25:15,140 so long as there are caveats in your mind 532 00:25:15,140 –> 00:25:16,560 about it all being okay. 533 00:25:18,459 –> 00:25:20,020 Joseph’s starting point is he says 534 00:25:20,020 –> 00:25:21,699 it’s a wicked thing, it’s a sin. 535 00:25:21,699 –> 00:25:24,219 And then, having identified it for what it is, 536 00:25:24,219 –> 00:25:26,439 he says, how can I do this wicked thing 537 00:25:26,439 –> 00:25:28,500 and sin against God? 538 00:25:30,119 –> 00:25:31,979 You see, if he was just thinking about it 539 00:25:31,979 –> 00:25:33,739 at the level of him and Potiphar’s wife 540 00:25:33,739 –> 00:25:35,420 and how attractive she was and Potiphar 541 00:25:35,420 –> 00:25:36,760 and the fact that he wasn’t there, 542 00:25:36,760 –> 00:25:39,540 he would quickly have fallen into temptation. 543 00:25:39,540 –> 00:25:43,839 But what he does is that he makes a spiritual issue of it. 544 00:25:43,839 –> 00:25:46,219 He connects it to God. 545 00:25:46,219 –> 00:25:50,119 If I do this, I’m sinning against God. 546 00:25:50,119 –> 00:25:51,619 Now, for us, this side of the cross, 547 00:25:51,619 –> 00:25:53,000 what that means is we’ve gotta look 548 00:25:53,000 –> 00:25:54,479 at what it means for Jesus. 549 00:25:56,119 –> 00:25:58,500 You’ve gotta see a sin for what it is 550 00:25:59,500 –> 00:26:01,939 and see what that meant for Him. 551 00:26:04,579 –> 00:26:07,959 A reat American preacher, Jonathan Edwards, 552 00:26:08,040 –> 00:26:10,040 had a phrase that I find very, very helpful. 553 00:26:10,040 –> 00:26:15,040 He talked about the expulsive power of a new affection. 554 00:26:17,500 –> 00:26:18,880 What that means is simply this, 555 00:26:18,880 –> 00:26:23,160 that a new love is stronger than an old habit. 556 00:26:23,160 –> 00:26:25,099 That’s worth writing down. 557 00:26:25,099 –> 00:26:30,099 A new love is stronger than an old habit, 558 00:26:30,479 –> 00:26:33,040 and the first step in overcoming the power of temptation, 559 00:26:33,040 –> 00:26:36,180 therefore, is to cultivate your love for Christ. 560 00:26:37,140 –> 00:26:38,699 He died because of sin. 561 00:26:38,699 –> 00:26:40,459 He died to bring you out of sin. 562 00:26:40,459 –> 00:26:42,219 He has cleansed you from sin. 563 00:26:42,219 –> 00:26:43,500 How can you go there? 564 00:26:45,900 –> 00:26:47,180 See, that is why you can’t deal 565 00:26:47,180 –> 00:26:49,140 with this struggle in isolation. 566 00:26:50,140 –> 00:26:51,979 Your ability to win through 567 00:26:51,979 –> 00:26:54,619 will depend upon your love for Christ. 568 00:26:54,619 –> 00:26:56,500 That’s why Paul says that the beginning 569 00:26:56,500 –> 00:26:59,500 of transformation is through the renewing of your mind. 570 00:26:59,500 –> 00:27:01,040 You’ve gotta think differently 571 00:27:01,040 –> 00:27:04,339 about what sin is and about who Christ is. 572 00:27:05,119 –> 00:27:07,079 This matters to you, God. 573 00:27:07,939 –> 00:27:10,300 So it really does matter to me. 574 00:27:11,579 –> 00:27:14,560 Second, act in the power of the Spirit. 575 00:27:14,560 –> 00:27:16,219 Act in the power of the Spirit. 576 00:27:16,219 –> 00:27:19,000 When it comes to your battle against temptation, 577 00:27:19,000 –> 00:27:21,619 God does not say pray about it. 578 00:27:23,060 –> 00:27:25,060 People are usually surprised at that statement. 579 00:27:25,060 –> 00:27:27,439 God does not say pray about it. 580 00:27:27,439 –> 00:27:29,719 He says act against it. 581 00:27:30,780 –> 00:27:32,719 The reason that God does not say pray about it 582 00:27:32,719 –> 00:27:34,020 is that the more you pray about it, 583 00:27:35,000 –> 00:27:35,979 the more you think about it. 584 00:27:35,979 –> 00:27:37,540 The bigger it gets in your mind 585 00:27:37,540 –> 00:27:40,000 and it actually can make the problem worse, right? 586 00:27:40,000 –> 00:27:41,920 The same is true, by the way, of fears. 587 00:27:44,380 –> 00:27:46,439 So what God says is not, you know, 588 00:27:46,439 –> 00:27:49,119 you got to pray about this and hand it over to me. 589 00:27:49,119 –> 00:27:50,079 Not this issue. 590 00:27:51,319 –> 00:27:53,219 What he says is you’ve got to put to death 591 00:27:53,219 –> 00:27:54,339 the misdeeds of the body. 592 00:27:54,339 –> 00:27:56,180 You’ve got to say, by the power of the Spirit, 593 00:27:56,180 –> 00:27:57,939 no to ungodliness. 594 00:27:57,939 –> 00:28:00,300 You’ve got to act against temptation. 595 00:28:00,300 –> 00:28:03,180 This is not a hand over to God issue. 596 00:28:03,180 –> 00:28:04,420 This is an issue where God says, 597 00:28:04,420 –> 00:28:06,040 look, I’ve put my spirit within you 598 00:28:06,040 –> 00:28:08,300 and I call you to act. 599 00:28:10,819 –> 00:28:12,599 I was trying to think of an illustration of this 600 00:28:12,599 –> 00:28:15,380 and sometimes during the summer we sit out 601 00:28:15,380 –> 00:28:17,520 on the deck at the back of our house, 602 00:28:17,520 –> 00:28:19,599 enjoy a lunch or eat together 603 00:28:19,599 –> 00:28:21,719 when we get the barbecue going and so forth. 604 00:28:21,719 –> 00:28:24,300 It’s really very, very pleasant except for one thing. 605 00:28:24,300 –> 00:28:26,180 What do you do about the wasps? 606 00:28:27,020 –> 00:28:29,380 Right, you have that problem, too, you know? 607 00:28:29,380 –> 00:28:30,219 And you’re sitting there, 608 00:28:30,219 –> 00:28:31,680 you’re only there for five minutes 609 00:28:31,680 –> 00:28:33,020 and you’ve got the lemonade there 610 00:28:33,160 –> 00:28:34,260 with the ice in it and the next thing, 611 00:28:34,260 –> 00:28:35,599 this thing comes buzz, buzz, buzz 612 00:28:35,599 –> 00:28:36,839 and it goes round and round the top 613 00:28:36,839 –> 00:28:38,239 and you know what it’s like. 614 00:28:39,719 –> 00:28:40,699 Now, what do you do? 615 00:28:41,880 –> 00:28:42,979 Well, we get a bit of newspaper, 616 00:28:42,979 –> 00:28:45,040 we kind of roll it up, we swat it. 617 00:28:46,380 –> 00:28:50,099 I’ve never yet prayed about a wasp. 618 00:28:50,099 –> 00:28:54,619 Dear Lord, these wasps are coming 619 00:28:54,619 –> 00:28:58,520 and deliver me from the wasps. 620 00:28:58,520 –> 00:29:02,380 I need to be strengthened against the wasps. 621 00:29:02,439 –> 00:29:05,219 No, I use the resource that’s been given to me 622 00:29:05,219 –> 00:29:06,439 which happens to be a newspaper 623 00:29:06,439 –> 00:29:08,520 and that’s the end of that one. 624 00:29:08,520 –> 00:29:12,680 Now, that is precisely the way in which 625 00:29:12,680 –> 00:29:14,780 the New Testament speaks about this issue. 626 00:29:14,780 –> 00:29:16,219 What do you do with these thoughts 627 00:29:16,219 –> 00:29:18,060 that come into your mind when you go past 628 00:29:18,060 –> 00:29:20,619 some poster or the ideas that come 629 00:29:20,619 –> 00:29:22,680 when someone has exchanged a look in the office 630 00:29:22,680 –> 00:29:23,959 or whatever it is? 631 00:29:24,800 –> 00:29:26,520 You don’t magnify it up. 632 00:29:27,619 –> 00:29:30,780 You swat it in your mind, you do. 633 00:29:30,780 –> 00:29:31,640 That’s what the Bible says. 634 00:29:31,680 –> 00:29:34,000 You put to death the misdeeds of the body, 635 00:29:34,000 –> 00:29:36,560 by the power of the spirit, you say no to ungodliness. 636 00:29:36,560 –> 00:29:39,239 It’s something for which God holds us accountable, 637 00:29:39,239 –> 00:29:43,020 it is something in which you and I have to be active 638 00:29:43,020 –> 00:29:45,119 and we’re gonna have to be swatting these things 639 00:29:45,119 –> 00:29:46,880 on a regular kind of basis 640 00:29:46,880 –> 00:29:49,439 in the society in which we live. 641 00:29:51,900 –> 00:29:53,959 And the most important thing to know is this, 642 00:29:53,959 –> 00:29:55,359 you have the power to do it 643 00:29:56,599 –> 00:29:59,500 because even now, the enemy is saying to some of us, 644 00:29:59,500 –> 00:30:01,140 oh, you can’t do that, oh, no, no, 645 00:30:01,140 –> 00:30:03,959 well, other people can, but you can’t. 646 00:30:03,959 –> 00:30:06,699 Listen, that’s a lie, you can! 647 00:30:06,699 –> 00:30:08,719 The Spirit of God lives within you 648 00:30:08,719 –> 00:30:10,199 and what God says to you is, 649 00:30:10,199 –> 00:30:13,520 by the spirit put to death the misdeeds of the body, 650 00:30:13,520 –> 00:30:15,439 you are able to address this issue 651 00:30:15,439 –> 00:30:17,000 because you are a Christian, 652 00:30:17,000 –> 00:30:19,619 it’s part of what it means to be a Christian. 653 00:30:19,619 –> 00:30:21,920 Some of us are way too passive, 654 00:30:21,920 –> 00:30:24,260 we’ve spiritualized this out of sight 655 00:30:24,260 –> 00:30:27,119 and completely failed to do what God tells us to do, 656 00:30:27,119 –> 00:30:28,939 which is to take ourselves in hand 657 00:30:28,939 –> 00:30:31,560 and to swat the thoughts when they come. 658 00:30:34,520 –> 00:30:35,939 You can overcome, 659 00:30:37,420 –> 00:30:40,020 the struggle for purity is a lifelong struggle 660 00:30:40,020 –> 00:30:41,959 like the wasp it never goes away, 661 00:30:43,079 –> 00:30:44,380 but you can prevail. 662 00:30:46,780 –> 00:30:49,180 Lastly, the struggle to forgive. 663 00:30:49,180 –> 00:30:51,560 I know that these are sensitive issues. 664 00:30:53,219 –> 00:30:55,780 Especially for folks who have been deeply wounded. 665 00:30:56,219 –> 00:30:58,000 I want you to know that I have 666 00:30:58,000 –> 00:31:00,579 especially appreciated in these last remarks 667 00:31:00,579 –> 00:31:01,619 and these last moments, 668 00:31:01,619 –> 00:31:04,939 especially appreciated the input of my wife. 669 00:31:05,680 –> 00:31:09,939 As we sat together and talked and thought and prayed 670 00:31:09,979 –> 00:31:11,900 and worked on what would be truthful 671 00:31:13,020 –> 00:31:16,060 and what would be helpful to say here. 672 00:31:17,699 –> 00:31:18,859 But I want to speak to wives 673 00:31:18,859 –> 00:31:20,959 who have been disappointed by your husband. 674 00:31:21,020 –> 00:31:22,319 Perhaps he’s lacked tenderness, 675 00:31:22,319 –> 00:31:24,859 he’s lacked consideration. 676 00:31:26,599 –> 00:31:29,699 Perhaps you found that he was involved in pornography, 677 00:31:30,680 –> 00:31:32,380 perhaps there was an affair. 678 00:31:32,380 –> 00:31:35,920 And just speaking now to married folks 679 00:31:35,920 –> 00:31:39,160 for these very few moments who find yourself 680 00:31:39,160 –> 00:31:42,660 in this situation, it is not uncommon. 681 00:31:44,760 –> 00:31:47,560 Let’s suppose that there has been 682 00:31:48,560 –> 00:31:51,040 let’s suppose that there has been 683 00:31:51,040 –> 00:31:52,920 some real ownership of the issue 684 00:31:52,920 –> 00:31:54,939 and he has shown repentance, 685 00:31:57,040 –> 00:31:59,859 or let’s suppose that that begins today, 686 00:32:01,239 –> 00:32:05,660 that God speaks to him today and a change begins. 687 00:32:07,680 –> 00:32:10,260 Now, forgiving isn’t easy, 688 00:32:12,479 –> 00:32:15,319 but your forgiveness, your love, your support 689 00:32:15,819 –> 00:32:19,599 can play a huge part in the healing of these wounds. 690 00:32:21,920 –> 00:32:24,219 It is often the case within the life of the church 691 00:32:24,219 –> 00:32:26,680 that sexual issues are dealt with 692 00:32:26,680 –> 00:32:29,359 primarily on a men’s retreat. 693 00:32:29,359 –> 00:32:31,760 It seems to be where we debate these issues. 694 00:32:33,180 –> 00:32:34,739 And there’s nothing wrong with that. 695 00:32:34,739 –> 00:32:36,780 It’s a good thing to do, we should do it. 696 00:32:38,520 –> 00:32:41,060 But I have become increasingly convinced 697 00:32:41,060 –> 00:32:43,199 that the best hope for real change 698 00:32:43,199 –> 00:32:45,719 with married folks in this area 699 00:32:45,719 –> 00:32:47,719 is when a husband and a wife 700 00:32:47,719 –> 00:32:49,520 face these issues together. 701 00:32:50,540 –> 00:32:53,760 But you can’t do that in a spirit of condemnation. 702 00:32:55,780 –> 00:32:58,619 Repentance is something to be embraced. 703 00:33:00,400 –> 00:33:02,959 Remember the story of the prodigal son. 704 00:33:02,959 –> 00:33:05,000 He begins this long journey home 705 00:33:05,000 –> 00:33:06,680 in a spirit of true repentance 706 00:33:06,680 –> 00:33:08,640 and all the way on that long journey 707 00:33:08,640 –> 00:33:10,319 he must have been wondering in his mind, 708 00:33:10,319 –> 00:33:11,680 how am I gonna be received? 709 00:33:11,680 –> 00:33:13,180 How am I gonna be received? 710 00:33:13,180 –> 00:33:14,979 How is it gonna be when I get home? 711 00:33:16,819 –> 00:33:18,260 And the most wonderful thing, 712 00:33:18,260 –> 00:33:21,140 the single most wonderful thing in this story 713 00:33:21,140 –> 00:33:22,380 that we all know so well 714 00:33:23,619 –> 00:33:27,619 is that the father goes out to meet the son. 715 00:33:29,260 –> 00:33:33,599 See God meets us in our repentance. 716 00:33:34,739 –> 00:33:37,859 He doesn’t stand back at a distance. 717 00:33:37,859 –> 00:33:39,439 He sees what’s happening 718 00:33:39,439 –> 00:33:42,020 and he goes out to meet what is happening 719 00:33:42,020 –> 00:33:45,280 and he brings us the rest of the way home. 720 00:33:47,819 –> 00:33:50,560 And my prayer is that that will happen in many homes. 721 00:33:52,400 –> 00:33:54,939 If he can learn to overcome, 722 00:33:56,239 –> 00:33:57,739 you can learn to forgive. 723 00:33:59,800 –> 00:34:01,500 There are two struggles here 724 00:34:03,260 –> 00:34:04,560 and think about it. 725 00:34:04,560 –> 00:34:06,199 The healing of the one 726 00:34:06,199 –> 00:34:09,419 can be the healing of the other 727 00:34:09,419 –> 00:34:10,699 either way around. 728 00:34:12,600 –> 00:34:14,239 And when one partner in a marriage 729 00:34:14,239 –> 00:34:17,659 is ready to make a break with patterns of the past 730 00:34:17,659 –> 00:34:20,600 and the other is ready to meet that repentance 731 00:34:20,600 –> 00:34:24,540 and to walk together the rest of the way home, 732 00:34:25,760 –> 00:34:27,739 there is great hope for the future. 733 00:34:29,580 –> 00:34:30,580 You can overcome. 734 00:34:32,500 –> 00:34:33,500 You can forgive. 735 00:34:36,000 –> 00:34:37,760 And what God has joined together, 736 00:34:39,620 –> 00:34:40,959 let no man separate. 737 00:34:42,580 –> 00:34:43,540 Let’s pray together. 738 00:34:46,179 –> 00:34:47,000 Father, 739 00:34:48,620 –> 00:34:52,100 seal your word into our hearts that we may receive it 740 00:34:52,100 –> 00:34:54,120 and respond to it with faith. 741 00:34:56,459 –> 00:34:57,820 For Jesus’ sake. 742 00:34:59,820 –> 00:35:00,659 Amen.