100:00:00,000 –> 00:00:07,640What do your children know about you?200:00:08,860 –> 00:00:11,320I don’t mean do they know where you were born?300:00:11,320 –> 00:00:13,300And do they know your favourite food?400:00:13,300 –> 00:00:14,760And do they know what school you went to?500:00:14,760 –> 00:00:15,680And all this kind of thing.600:00:15,980 –> 00:00:17,740I’m asking what do they know about you?700:00:17,740 –> 00:00:19,440What did they know about your struggles?800:00:20,740 –> 00:00:25,860What do they know about what God is doing in your life right now?900:00:26,740 –> 00:00:29,420Welcome to open the Bible with Pastor Colin Smith.1000:00:29,520 –> 00:00:33,860Thanks for joining us today and Colin I think many parents struggle with this1100:00:33,860 –> 00:00:36,840because maybe they’re unsure how to present this to their children.1200:00:36,980 –> 00:00:40,880They think they need to always seem in control of their lives in front of them.1300:00:41,240 –> 00:00:43,919Yes, that’s right and clearly this changes over1400:00:43,919 –> 00:00:47,980the course of a child and then a young person’s development.1500:00:47,980 –> 00:00:53,160But we’re looking straight into the Bible in 2 Timothy 3 and verse 101600:00:53,619 –> 00:00:59,000Paul says to Timothy, you know all about not only my teaching1700:00:59,060 –> 00:01:03,099but my way of life and he speaks, you know, all about my purpose1800:01:03,099 –> 00:01:07,279and my faith and my patience and my endurance and on and on and on he goes.1900:01:07,279 –> 00:01:11,300So, there’s been a real downloading of the experience,2000:01:11,300 –> 00:01:16,680the real life experience of the apostle Paul into the young life of Timothy.2100:01:16,680 –> 00:01:18,699What a marvelous example that is2200:01:19,019 –> 00:01:21,480that for those who are further on in the Christian life2300:01:21,480 –> 00:01:25,160there’s this privilege in this responsibility of opening up2400:01:25,160 –> 00:01:27,459the realities of what this life is like2500:01:27,480 –> 00:01:30,099in an appropriate way into an appropriate degree2600:01:30,099 –> 00:01:32,720to a person where there is the trust and relationship2700:01:32,720 –> 00:01:35,220of wanting to lead them by example.2800:01:35,220 –> 00:01:37,440And I think this is a great thing for fathers and mothers2900:01:37,440 –> 00:01:40,339especially in teenage years.3000:01:40,339 –> 00:01:43,839I’m so grateful for the guy in the church who said to me3100:01:43,839 –> 00:01:48,180take out your son every week and just have a one-on-one3200:01:48,180 –> 00:01:52,139throughout these teenager years and that’s great advice.3300:01:52,139 –> 00:01:56,180Why? Just to talk about life so that he would know you as a father3400:01:56,260 –> 00:01:58,019and you would know him as a son.3500:01:58,019 –> 00:02:00,059That’s a great idea for us as parents.3600:02:00,059 –> 00:02:03,379So join us if you can today in 2 Timothy chapter three3700:02:03,379 –> 00:02:04,860as we begin the message,3800:02:04,860 –> 00:02:07,239Tennessee’s too effective parenting.3900:02:07,239 –> 00:02:08,979Here is Colin…4000:02:08,979 –> 00:02:13,360Unless the Lord builds the house is the title of our series4100:02:13,360 –> 00:02:15,240and we’re really looking at God’s design4200:02:15,240 –> 00:02:17,880for a Christian family.4300:02:17,880 –> 00:02:20,600Now where we focused last week on second Timothy4400:02:20,600 –> 00:02:22,820chapter three in verse 144500:02:22,820 –> 00:02:26,039and we’re returning to the same passage today4600:02:26,820 –> 00:02:28,779We’re going to focus particularly on verse 10.4700:02:28,779 –> 00:02:32,240So I hope you’ll have 2 Timothy and chapter three open4800:02:32,240 –> 00:02:34,080in front of you.4900:02:34,080 –> 00:02:36,440Last week, we looked at verse 14,5000:02:36,440 –> 00:02:37,479where Paul says to Timothy,5100:02:37,479 –> 00:02:40,559continue in what you have learned.5200:02:40,559 –> 00:02:43,880Why should a person continue in what they’ve learned?5300:02:43,880 –> 00:02:48,279Why should a young Christian go on in Christ?5400:02:48,279 –> 00:02:51,240Reason is what he says in verse 14.5500:02:51,240 –> 00:02:55,380Because you know from whom you have learned it.5600:02:56,199 –> 00:02:59,059We saw that Timothy learned the gospel from his mother,5700:02:59,059 –> 00:03:01,479she taught him the Bible and she modeled5800:03:01,479 –> 00:03:03,500an authentic Christian life.5900:03:04,399 –> 00:03:06,139And Paul says to Timothy now,6000:03:06,139 –> 00:03:09,320here’s the reason for you pressing on as a Christian6100:03:09,320 –> 00:03:11,600for the rest of your life.6200:03:11,600 –> 00:03:13,100You continue in what you’ve learned6300:03:13,100 –> 00:03:15,559because you know from whom you have learned it.6400:03:15,559 –> 00:03:19,160You’ve seen the life-changing power of the gospel6500:03:19,160 –> 00:03:22,320in your mother, you have seen it in your grandmother,6600:03:22,320 –> 00:03:23,720you have seen it in me.6700:03:23,720 –> 00:03:26,419Timothy, you have seen this, you know this,6800:03:26,419 –> 00:03:31,419now continue in what has been modeled for you.6900:03:31,600 –> 00:03:34,880We saw last week that how you live,7000:03:34,880 –> 00:03:39,839will always speak louder than what you teach, continue.7100:03:41,000 –> 00:03:45,320Let me say this word of encouragement to older believers.7200:03:45,320 –> 00:03:49,479Everyone in the congregation who is a grandparent,7300:03:49,479 –> 00:03:53,320to folks who are looking at retiring in the next five years,7400:03:54,279 –> 00:03:58,080to folks who are in the later years and stages of life,7500:03:58,080 –> 00:04:03,080your continuing matters, to all of us who are younger.7600:04:06,119 –> 00:04:09,179Those who learned to faith from you,7700:04:09,179 –> 00:04:11,320your children and now your grandchildren7800:04:11,320 –> 00:04:14,039are watching how you continue.7900:04:15,839 –> 00:04:17,920You are our examples of faith8000:04:18,000 –> 00:04:20,480until the last breath leaves your body8100:04:20,480 –> 00:04:23,260and you go into the presence of Jesus till then.8200:04:24,220 –> 00:04:27,480And we need you to finish well.8300:04:28,839 –> 00:04:30,519We need you to keep the faith.8400:04:30,519 –> 00:04:33,239We need you to finish the course.8500:04:33,239 –> 00:04:37,140And then we will have an example to look up to8600:04:37,140 –> 00:04:39,779and to continue following.8700:04:41,440 –> 00:04:43,200Now that was our theme last week,8800:04:43,200 –> 00:04:45,540and we saw that alongside parents,8900:04:45,540 –> 00:04:48,500God has given the gift of partners,9000:04:48,500 –> 00:04:51,320friends, mentors, pastors,9100:04:51,320 –> 00:04:53,260who will also alongside the parents9200:04:53,260 –> 00:04:56,500build into the life of a younger person.9300:04:56,500 –> 00:04:58,980And Paul is a wonderful example of this.9400:04:58,980 –> 00:05:01,540He mentored Timothy.9500:05:01,540 –> 00:05:05,239And in verse 10 which is going to be our focus today,9600:05:05,239 –> 00:05:07,459we have a fascinating summary9700:05:07,459 –> 00:05:10,660of what this mentoring looked like.9800:05:10,660 –> 00:05:13,660And so I want to draw your attention to verse 109900:05:13,660 –> 00:05:15,619where Paul says to Timothy,10000:05:15,619 –> 00:05:18,540you know all about,10100:05:19,940 –> 00:05:22,619and then he gives a list of the things10200:05:22,619 –> 00:05:26,380that Timothy knew about the Apostle Paul.10300:05:26,380 –> 00:05:28,700See, there was a relationship here.10400:05:28,700 –> 00:05:30,339They traveled together, worked together,10500:05:30,339 –> 00:05:32,220talked together, prayed together10600:05:32,220 –> 00:05:37,220and this became a life shaping relationship for Timothy.10700:05:38,160 –> 00:05:42,179And Paul writes to him and said now you know all about.10800:05:43,920 –> 00:05:46,820Now that raises a question before we go any further,10900:05:46,820 –> 00:05:49,260a question particularly for parents.11000:05:49,260 –> 00:05:53,739What do your children know about you?11100:05:53,739 –> 00:05:55,959It’s a very important question.11200:05:55,959 –> 00:05:58,420I don’t mean you know, do they know where you were born11300:05:58,420 –> 00:06:00,420and do they know your favorite food11400:06:00,420 –> 00:06:01,739and do they know what school you went to11500:06:01,739 –> 00:06:03,059and all this kind of thing?11600:06:03,059 –> 00:06:04,820I’m asking what do they know about you?11700:06:04,820 –> 00:06:06,760What do they know about your struggles?11800:06:07,859 –> 00:06:10,980What do they know about what God is doing11900:06:10,980 –> 00:06:13,179in your life right now?12000:06:14,480 –> 00:06:17,940I want to encourage every parent12100:06:17,940 –> 00:06:21,019to cultivate a life-shaping relationship12200:06:21,019 –> 00:06:23,000with your children,12300:06:23,000 –> 00:06:25,619and that can happen in a thousand ways12400:06:25,619 –> 00:06:27,579but if you are serious12500:06:27,579 –> 00:06:30,859about a life-shaping relationship with your children,12600:06:30,859 –> 00:06:33,700it makes sense that you have a plan12700:06:33,700 –> 00:06:36,059as to how you’re going to go about doing this.12800:06:38,100 –> 00:06:39,720I guess we’re all deeply thankful12900:06:39,720 –> 00:06:41,459to others in particular ways.13000:06:41,459 –> 00:06:44,100Here’s one way in which I owe an enormous debt.13100:06:45,820 –> 00:06:47,059Some years ago,13200:06:47,059 –> 00:06:50,559Ray Green, a member of the congregation here,13300:06:50,559 –> 00:06:51,399said to me,13400:06:51,399 –> 00:06:55,019Colin, be sure you spend good time13500:06:55,019 –> 00:06:58,500with your kids during their teenage years,13600:07:00,000 –> 00:07:02,779and I have tried to follow Ray’s example13700:07:02,779 –> 00:07:05,420as he outlined what he did,13800:07:05,420 –> 00:07:07,260and over these last years,13900:07:07,260 –> 00:07:10,000I’ve had the joy of spending an evening each week14000:07:10,000 –> 00:07:12,880with one of our two boys.14100:07:12,880 –> 00:07:14,279It started with Andrew,14200:07:15,179 –> 00:07:16,600now it continues with David,14300:07:16,600 –> 00:07:18,600we spend a Wednesday evening together,14400:07:18,600 –> 00:07:20,640we hang out in shops, we eat together,14500:07:20,640 –> 00:07:22,359sometimes we play tennis.14600:07:22,359 –> 00:07:24,299There’s no particular structure14700:07:24,299 –> 00:07:27,040except that Wednesday is our time.14800:07:28,640 –> 00:07:30,920David gets to know more about me14900:07:32,119 –> 00:07:34,500and I get to know more about him.15000:07:36,079 –> 00:07:38,959What do you want your kids to know about you?15100:07:40,679 –> 00:07:44,920Now, when I counted up what Paul refers to15200:07:44,920 –> 00:07:46,779in this verse 10 here,15300:07:46,779 –> 00:07:50,739I noticed that there are 10 things.15400:07:50,739 –> 00:07:54,60010 things, that sounds a little bit bland.15500:07:55,619 –> 00:07:58,55910 principles, I thought,15600:07:58,559 –> 00:08:01,040no, no, that’s far too high brow15700:08:01,040 –> 00:08:05,119and then it occurred to me these are 10 keys.15800:08:06,359 –> 00:08:08,76010 keys.15900:08:08,799 –> 00:08:12,820it’s amazing how the scripture is ordered in this way.16000:08:12,820 –> 00:08:15,399But there are, you count them,16100:08:15,399 –> 00:08:18,39910 keys for effective parenting16200:08:18,399 –> 00:08:22,160and this one verse gives us a checklist16300:08:22,160 –> 00:08:26,320of what you would want your children to know about you16400:08:26,320 –> 00:08:31,320if you are seeking to cultivate a life-shaping relationship.16500:08:32,020 –> 00:08:34,700What you will want to open up of yourself,16600:08:34,700 –> 00:08:37,280obviously in an age-appropriate level16700:08:37,299 –> 00:08:39,400and it will be more as they mature.16800:08:40,799 –> 00:08:43,020But if they’re going to follow your example,16900:08:43,020 –> 00:08:45,099they need to know what that example is,17000:08:45,099 –> 00:08:47,719they need to know your life, they need to know you.17100:08:49,780 –> 00:08:53,380Now, this verse not only gives us a model for parenting,17200:08:53,380 –> 00:08:57,859it obviously gives us a wonderful model for mentoring,17300:08:57,859 –> 00:09:01,659a scriptural pattern for what mentoring can look like.17400:09:01,659 –> 00:09:04,020Remember, this is Paul’s relationship with Timothy17500:09:04,020 –> 00:09:05,440that is being described.17600:09:05,440 –> 00:09:08,479So, for those who are not parents today,17700:09:08,479 –> 00:09:12,280but who do want to have a life shaping relationship,17800:09:12,280 –> 00:09:14,479perhaps with another younger person17900:09:14,479 –> 00:09:16,520into whose life you can build,18000:09:16,520 –> 00:09:19,479you can switch the title and just think of it this way,18100:09:19,479 –> 00:09:22,840you can call it 10 Keys for Effective Mentoring18200:09:22,840 –> 00:09:24,200because it’s the same thing18300:09:24,200 –> 00:09:27,400that’s applied in both circumstances.18400:09:27,400 –> 00:09:32,400Here in this one verse are 10 things18500:09:32,700 –> 00:09:35,539that you will want to share of yourself18600:09:36,479 –> 00:09:40,580that will shape the life of another person.18700:09:40,580 –> 00:09:42,320And just as a very practical suggestion,18800:09:42,320 –> 00:09:44,260you may want to take these 10,18900:09:44,260 –> 00:09:47,419you may want to focus on one of them each week19000:09:47,419 –> 00:09:50,700for the next 10 weeks in a life shaping relationship19100:09:50,700 –> 00:09:53,020that God is giving you the opportunity19200:09:53,020 –> 00:09:55,419to cultivate and pursue.19300:09:55,419 –> 00:09:57,599You ready for the 10 together then?19400:09:57,599 –> 00:10:00,239Here we go, you’ll see it as we move through19500:10:00,840 –> 00:10:03,059verse 10 of 2 Timothy 3.19600:10:03,059 –> 00:10:04,320You’re listening to Open the Bible19700:10:04,320 –> 00:10:06,479with Pastor Colin Smith and a message called19800:10:06,479 –> 00:10:08,94010 Keys to Effective Parenting,19900:10:08,940 –> 00:10:12,159part of our series Unless the Lord Builds the House20000:10:12,159 –> 00:10:15,359and we’ll return to the message very shortly.20100:10:15,359 –> 00:10:16,640All this month we’re offering20200:10:16,640 –> 00:10:19,280Pastor Colin Smith’s book, Christmas Stories,20300:10:19,280 –> 00:10:21,840to anyone who is able to begin supporting20400:10:21,840 –> 00:10:23,919Open the Bible financially.20500:10:23,919 –> 00:10:26,200Here’s Open the Bible’s executive director20600:10:26,200 –> 00:10:28,239John Martin to talk about some of the ways20700:10:28,440 –> 00:10:31,599can use the material in Christmas Stories.20800:10:31,599 –> 00:10:33,919If you’re involved with planning your advent20900:10:33,919 –> 00:10:35,599and Christmas events and services21000:10:35,599 –> 00:10:37,440for your church and community,21100:10:37,440 –> 00:10:40,260Open the Bible has some resources to help you.21200:10:40,260 –> 00:10:42,979We’ve got a short book called Christmas Stories21300:10:42,979 –> 00:10:45,320Five First Person Narratives21400:10:45,320 –> 00:10:47,400and that costs just one pound a copy21500:10:47,400 –> 00:10:49,559if you buy enough from 10 of those.21600:10:49,559 –> 00:10:52,559And then we’ve got some free resources to go along with it,21700:10:52,559 –> 00:10:55,840sermon outlines to help you do an advent sermon series,21800:10:55,840 –> 00:10:58,359nativity script, and some Bible studies21900:10:58,359 –> 00:11:00,559perfect for Advent and Christmas.22000:11:00,559 –> 00:11:03,400For more information and to get these downloads,22100:11:03,400 –> 00:11:07,359go to openthebible.org.uk.22200:11:07,359 –> 00:11:09,280We’re also offering two copies22300:11:09,280 –> 00:11:11,780of Pastor Colin’s book Christmas Stories22400:11:11,780 –> 00:11:14,440if you’re able to begin supporting Open the Bible22500:11:14,440 –> 00:11:16,219financially this month.22600:11:16,219 –> 00:11:18,799If you are able to set up a new direct debit22700:11:18,799 –> 00:11:20,200to the work of Open the Bible22800:11:20,200 –> 00:11:22,679for five pounds per month or more22900:11:22,679 –> 00:11:25,179or a one-off gift of 50 pounds or more,23000:11:25,179 –> 00:11:27,520we’ll send you those two copies of the book23100:11:27,520 –> 00:11:30,020plus five lovely Christmas cards23200:11:30,020 –> 00:11:31,940using artwork from the book.23300:11:33,099 –> 00:11:36,460Full details, terms, and conditions on our website,23400:11:36,460 –> 00:11:39,340openthebible.org.uk.23500:11:39,340 –> 00:11:40,619Back to the message now.23600:11:40,619 –> 00:11:43,059Here again is Colin.23700:11:43,059 –> 00:11:45,119You ready for the 10 together then?23800:11:45,119 –> 00:11:45,960Here we go.23900:11:45,960 –> 00:11:47,739You’ll see it as we move through24000:11:47,739 –> 00:11:49,780verse 10 of 2 Timothy 3.24100:11:49,780 –> 00:11:51,200Number one.24200:11:51,340 –> 00:11:56,340You know all about, says Timothy, number one, my teaching.24300:11:58,000 –> 00:12:01,400Now the important point here is that it’s personal.24400:12:01,400 –> 00:12:03,799He doesn’t say, Timothy, you know all about24500:12:03,799 –> 00:12:05,659the Old Testament teaching.24600:12:05,659 –> 00:12:08,159He doesn’t say you know all about the apostolic teaching.24700:12:08,159 –> 00:12:10,640That was true, but that’s not the point here.24800:12:10,640 –> 00:12:12,559This is the language of relationship.24900:12:12,559 –> 00:12:13,760And so what Paul says is,25000:12:13,760 –> 00:12:16,460you know all about my teaching.25100:12:17,460 –> 00:12:21,059See, your children will learn what the church believes,25200:12:21,960 –> 00:12:25,760but your kids desperately need to know what you believe.25300:12:26,760 –> 00:12:29,159It is one thing for your kids to grow up25400:12:29,159 –> 00:12:32,599knowing that the church believes in heaven and hell.25500:12:32,599 –> 00:12:35,020It is entirely another thing for your kids25600:12:35,020 –> 00:12:36,260to grow up and understand,25700:12:36,260 –> 00:12:40,400my father believes in hell and heaven.25800:12:41,700 –> 00:12:44,599That has an altogether different impact.25900:12:44,900 –> 00:12:46,260They need to know that.26000:12:47,640 –> 00:12:50,280So, what do your children know about what you believe?26100:12:51,219 –> 00:12:53,619Your kids know what you believe about creation,26200:12:55,020 –> 00:12:58,359about the affects of sin in the human personality,26300:12:59,539 –> 00:13:03,000about the Bible, about who Jesus is,26400:13:03,000 –> 00:13:05,460why he had to die, about the resurrection,26500:13:05,460 –> 00:13:06,760about the power of the Holy Spirit26600:13:06,760 –> 00:13:08,340and the life of a believer,26700:13:08,340 –> 00:13:10,780about the church, about baptism, about communion,26800:13:10,780 –> 00:13:12,340about the second coming of Christ,26900:13:12,340 –> 00:13:14,739about the new heaven and the new Earth.27000:13:14,739 –> 00:13:16,940Don’t try and cover all that in one evening.27100:13:19,280 –> 00:13:22,039But if you want your kids to follow in your path,27200:13:22,039 –> 00:13:24,080they need to know what you believe,27300:13:25,820 –> 00:13:28,140and it will have a powerful impact in their lives.27400:13:28,140 –> 00:13:32,479If you have not been motivated by anything else to learn,27500:13:33,659 –> 00:13:35,140let this be your motivation.27600:13:37,020 –> 00:13:38,979Because you do not want your kid to grow up saying,27700:13:39,020 –> 00:13:41,280you know my dad didn’t know what he believes.27800:13:42,440 –> 00:13:44,280They might just follow your example.27900:13:47,979 –> 00:13:50,919If your child was asked to write an essay,28000:13:51,840 –> 00:13:54,099what my dad believes?28100:13:54,099 –> 00:13:55,700What my mum believes?28200:13:56,900 –> 00:13:58,919What would be the first thing they write?28300:14:00,000 –> 00:14:00,940Suggestion.28400:14:02,340 –> 00:14:03,659Why don’t you ask them?28500:14:05,460 –> 00:14:08,219It could be a wonderful conversation started.28600:14:08,219 –> 00:14:10,159Why would you not want to ask them?28700:14:12,059 –> 00:14:13,799When you think about what I believe, son,28800:14:13,799 –> 00:14:16,200what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?28900:14:19,260 –> 00:14:23,539Paul says you know all about my teaching.29000:14:23,539 –> 00:14:28,359Second, you know all about my way of life.29100:14:28,359 –> 00:14:30,780See, it’s not just what you believe.29200:14:30,780 –> 00:14:33,099It’s how you live.29300:14:33,960 –> 00:14:35,619It’s how you spend your money.29400:14:35,619 –> 00:14:38,659Your kids have a pretty good picture of that.29500:14:38,659 –> 00:14:42,580It’s how you live within your means.29600:14:42,580 –> 00:14:45,059Your kids have a pretty good picture of that, too.29700:14:45,059 –> 00:14:46,460It’s about integrity.29800:14:48,739 –> 00:14:50,559Just a few weeks ago we had a guest29900:14:50,559 –> 00:14:53,520in our home for Sunday lunch, an older Christian30000:14:53,520 –> 00:14:55,820who took a particular interest to our delight30100:14:55,820 –> 00:14:58,940in talking with David over the meal table.30200:14:58,940 –> 00:15:01,440He wanted to know particularly what it was like30300:15:01,440 –> 00:15:05,280for our son David to be a Christian in high school.30400:15:05,659 –> 00:15:08,260As the conversation progressed,30500:15:08,260 –> 00:15:09,859this older Christian then said,30600:15:09,859 –> 00:15:14,219you know, David, I really struggled with Christianity30700:15:14,219 –> 00:15:15,500when I was a teenager.30800:15:16,739 –> 00:15:21,020And he said the problem was that30900:15:21,020 –> 00:15:25,099people I looked up to didn’t really live the life.31000:15:26,460 –> 00:15:28,340He then told us a story about how he used31100:15:28,340 –> 00:15:31,520to go on the train into the city where he lived.31200:15:31,520 –> 00:15:33,419The fare was the equivalent, he said,31300:15:33,500 –> 00:15:37,140of 10 cents for a child up to 10 years old.31400:15:38,440 –> 00:15:42,859Then it was 20 cents for a child 10 years or over.31500:15:44,280 –> 00:15:47,059My dad, he said, was an elder in the church.31600:15:48,219 –> 00:15:51,880He always gave me 10 cents every time I went on the train.31700:15:51,880 –> 00:15:54,820And after my tenth birthday, I said to him,31800:15:54,820 –> 00:15:59,820Dad, it’s 20 cents now, but he gave me 10 cents,31900:15:59,900 –> 00:16:02,440and he said, don’t worry, nobody will know.32000:16:04,419 –> 00:16:06,979And he said, I think that was the beginning32100:16:06,979 –> 00:16:09,340of my struggles all through my teenage years.32200:16:13,200 –> 00:16:15,080Your kids know your way of life.32300:16:19,059 –> 00:16:22,520If you can think of a way in which your kids32400:16:22,520 –> 00:16:27,520have seen a lack of integrity in you,32500:16:29,619 –> 00:16:33,000I want to urge you today to confess it to them32600:16:34,419 –> 00:16:39,419it will give them hope if you do that.32700:16:41,640 –> 00:16:45,719And you may well find that God uses your confession32800:16:45,719 –> 00:16:49,479to further his work in their life.32900:16:54,359 –> 00:16:59,119My teaching, my way of life, my purpose,33000:16:59,119 –> 00:17:00,239isn’t this a great statement?33100:17:00,239 –> 00:17:01,500Paul could say to Timothy,33200:17:01,500 –> 00:17:05,500you know all about my purpose.33300:17:06,420 –> 00:17:08,780You know what’s important to me, Timothy.33400:17:08,780 –> 00:17:09,959You know what I’m trying to do33500:17:09,959 –> 00:17:11,479and what I’m trying to achieve in life.33600:17:11,479 –> 00:17:12,680You know I’m trying to become.33700:17:12,680 –> 00:17:14,359You know about my purpose.33800:17:14,359 –> 00:17:16,859Does your son or your daughter know your purpose?33900:17:18,900 –> 00:17:21,699If your kids were asked, what matters more to Mom,34000:17:21,699 –> 00:17:25,020what matters more to Dad, than anything else,34100:17:25,020 –> 00:17:26,020what would they say?34200:17:27,900 –> 00:17:28,739Ask them.34300:17:30,359 –> 00:17:31,939What do you think’s the most important thing34400:17:31,939 –> 00:17:32,780to me in life?34500:17:34,000 –> 00:17:35,760The answer might be very revealing.34600:17:37,420 –> 00:17:38,880Fourth,34700:17:38,880 –> 00:17:40,359my faith.34800:17:40,359 –> 00:17:45,359You know, says Timothy, all about my faith.34900:17:45,819 –> 00:17:47,699Now, notice again, that it’s personal.35000:17:47,699 –> 00:17:50,939He’s not talking about the faith.35100:17:50,939 –> 00:17:54,060He’s talking about my faith.35200:17:54,060 –> 00:17:57,619He says, you know, my personal trust35300:17:57,680 –> 00:18:00,520and personal confidence in God.35400:18:01,439 –> 00:18:04,859So here’s the question that comes on this fourth key,35500:18:04,859 –> 00:18:07,900do your children see you?35600:18:07,900 –> 00:18:10,239Do they hear you?35700:18:10,239 –> 00:18:15,239Do they perceive you exercising faith in God35800:18:15,520 –> 00:18:18,079through the tough passages of your life?35900:18:19,520 –> 00:18:21,739Because your exercise of faith36000:18:21,739 –> 00:18:24,180when you’re going through a struggle in life36100:18:24,180 –> 00:18:26,380may just be one of the most powerful ways36200:18:26,380 –> 00:18:29,359in which the reality of faith speaks to them.36300:18:29,359 –> 00:18:30,859This is what they’re watching.36400:18:34,239 –> 00:18:39,199I felt convicted about my own failure36500:18:40,739 –> 00:18:44,099to do this one night just a few weeks ago.36600:18:46,260 –> 00:18:50,020I’d come home tired, worn out, discouraged36700:18:50,020 –> 00:18:53,739and over dinner I’d been talking on36800:18:54,739 –> 00:18:59,280about difficulties, about frustrations and this and that,36900:19:00,719 –> 00:19:02,579all of which got me some sympathy,37000:19:03,640 –> 00:19:07,079which is probably what I was looking for.37100:19:09,660 –> 00:19:11,160But I didn’t sleep that night.37200:19:13,880 –> 00:19:15,839And I have to assume that somewhere37300:19:15,839 –> 00:19:17,239in the earliest of the morning37400:19:17,239 –> 00:19:19,160I found myself deeply convicted.37500:19:19,160 –> 00:19:21,400I complained to my wife.37600:19:22,260 –> 00:19:26,359Colin, you were talking in front of your own son37700:19:26,359 –> 00:19:28,520as if you had no faith.37800:19:31,020 –> 00:19:34,219You talked as if there was no God.37900:19:39,060 –> 00:19:41,160So the next night was my evening with David38000:19:41,160 –> 00:19:42,520and I said to him,38100:19:42,520 –> 00:19:46,319and David, I owe you an apology.38200:19:46,979 –> 00:19:49,520When I was droning on last night,38300:19:49,520 –> 00:19:51,979I was not speaking with faith.38400:19:55,959 –> 00:19:58,119And you know that led to the most marvelous discussion38500:19:58,119 –> 00:19:59,380that the two of us shared38600:19:59,380 –> 00:20:02,319about what it actually means to exercise faith38700:20:02,319 –> 00:20:05,260when you’re own back is against the wall.38800:20:07,859 –> 00:20:10,260And I said to him, David,38900:20:10,260 –> 00:20:12,060if you hear me speaking like that39000:20:12,060 –> 00:20:15,760in a way that doesn’t show any faith in you,39100:20:15,800 –> 00:20:18,000doesn’t show any faith again,39200:20:18,880 –> 00:20:20,579I want you to call me on it.39300:20:24,479 –> 00:20:29,359Because, you see, I want to be able to say39400:20:29,359 –> 00:20:31,560with the Apostle Paul to my kids,39500:20:31,560 –> 00:20:34,880you know all about my faith.39600:20:39,540 –> 00:20:41,239And that means I’ve gotta show it,39700:20:42,719 –> 00:20:43,619I’ve gotta live it.39800:20:46,760 –> 00:20:50,920Here’s the fourth thing, my patience.39900:20:50,920 –> 00:20:53,119You know all about my patience.40000:20:54,000 –> 00:20:57,479Yikes, this is a hard one.40100:21:01,599 –> 00:21:03,040I can’t imagine that patience came40200:21:03,040 –> 00:21:05,160to the Apostle Paul easily, can you?40300:21:06,119 –> 00:21:08,880Timothy knew about the times, evidently,40400:21:08,880 –> 00:21:10,800when things did not move forward40500:21:10,800 –> 00:21:12,800in the way that the Apostle Paul would’ve wanted40600:21:12,800 –> 00:21:14,839and he had to be patient.40700:21:14,839 –> 00:21:18,979Patience is tough in an instant society.40800:21:20,160 –> 00:21:25,160We plant the seed and we want it to grow, now.40900:21:26,819 –> 00:21:28,680We take an initiative with our children41000:21:28,680 –> 00:21:31,900and we want their lives to be reshaped, now.41100:21:33,479 –> 00:21:35,079After a few weeks, a few months41200:21:35,079 –> 00:21:36,479of doing the same thing, what happens?41300:21:36,479 –> 00:21:37,959We get discouraged.41400:21:38,640 –> 00:21:42,800Don’t expect someone else to learn in 10 weeks41500:21:42,800 –> 00:21:47,800or 10 months what it took you 10 years to learn41600:21:50,020 –> 00:21:50,859before the Lord.41700:21:52,880 –> 00:21:54,339There’s gonna be three steps forward41800:21:54,339 –> 00:21:56,359and it’s sometimes gonna be two steps back41900:21:56,359 –> 00:21:59,239and Paul’s able to say to Timothy,42000:21:59,239 –> 00:22:02,479you know all about my patience.42100:22:04,199 –> 00:22:06,439Thank God for that.42200:22:06,439 –> 00:22:07,439Thank God for that.42300:22:09,599 –> 00:22:11,020You’ve been listening to Open The Bible42400:22:11,020 –> 00:22:12,640with Pastor Collin Smith42500:22:12,640 –> 00:22:16,000and a message called 10 Keys to Effective Parenting.42600:22:16,000 –> 00:22:19,000It’s part of our series Unless the Lord Builds a House42700:22:19,000 –> 00:22:20,800and if you ever want to catch up42800:22:20,800 –> 00:22:21,920or go back and listen again42900:22:21,920 –> 00:22:24,040to any of the messages in the series,43000:22:24,040 –> 00:22:27,060that’s easy to do by coming online to our website,43100:22:27,060 –> 00:22:29,479openthebible.org.uk43200:22:29,479 –> 00:22:33,140or find us as a podcast on all the main podcast sites.43300:22:33,140 –> 00:22:35,839Search for Open The Bible UK.43400:22:35,979 –> 00:22:39,000Don’t forget also to check out Open The Bible Daily,43500:22:39,000 –> 00:22:40,540that’s our series of short43600:22:40,540 –> 00:22:42,900two to three-minute daily reflections43700:22:42,900 –> 00:22:44,739based on Pastor Collin’s teaching43800:22:44,739 –> 00:22:48,119and read in the UK by Sue MacLeish.43900:22:48,119 –> 00:22:50,560As I said, our message today was called44000:22:50,560 –> 00:22:53,16010 Keys to Effective Parenting44100:22:53,160 –> 00:22:55,540and many of us will hear this message44200:22:55,540 –> 00:22:57,140and feel this sense of regret.44300:22:57,140 –> 00:22:59,520I wish I’d trusted the Lord more44400:22:59,520 –> 00:23:01,619or I wish I had been more patient44500:23:01,619 –> 00:23:05,500or I wish I had a greater sense of purpose.44600:23:05,900 –> 00:23:08,739Well, before you despair, I want you to think about this.44700:23:08,739 –> 00:23:10,660Who is saying these things44800:23:10,660 –> 00:23:12,579that we’ve looked at in the Bible?44900:23:12,579 –> 00:23:14,300This is Paul.45000:23:14,300 –> 00:23:17,579This is the guy who was known for anger and violence,45100:23:17,579 –> 00:23:19,619who was blaspheming the name of Christ.45200:23:19,619 –> 00:23:20,900He hated the gospel.45300:23:20,900 –> 00:23:23,520He says, I was once a blasphemer45400:23:23,520 –> 00:23:26,760and a persecutor and a violent man,45500:23:26,760 –> 00:23:29,020but Christ changed him.45600:23:29,020 –> 00:23:31,420And maybe you look back with regret45700:23:31,420 –> 00:23:33,920and maybe your kids know what you were,45800:23:33,920 –> 00:23:36,060even what you are right now.45900:23:36,060 –> 00:23:38,900But Jesus Christ can change you.46000:23:38,900 –> 00:23:41,000And when he does, those who know you46100:23:41,000 –> 00:23:42,920will see the difference46200:23:42,920 –> 00:23:45,040and it will be for his great glory.46300:23:45,040 –> 00:23:46,880So don’t give up.46400:23:46,880 –> 00:23:49,000You look to Jesus Christ today46500:23:49,000 –> 00:23:52,000and don’t let regret lock you in.46600:23:52,000 –> 00:23:54,819Let that be a motive to turn to him46700:23:54,819 –> 00:23:57,640and to find the life change that he is able to bring46800:23:57,640 –> 00:23:59,900in your experience even today.46900:23:59,900 –> 00:24:02,060So some parents may be thinking,47000:24:02,060 –> 00:24:03,199what should I do now?47100:24:04,079 –> 00:24:04,900Should I go to my children47200:24:04,900 –> 00:24:07,219and confess the things that I regret?47300:24:07,219 –> 00:24:09,459Do you know what there may be a time for doing that?47400:24:09,459 –> 00:24:12,060It may not be absolutely immediate47500:24:12,060 –> 00:24:13,939because one of the most powerful things47600:24:13,939 –> 00:24:16,000is that people see a reality47700:24:16,000 –> 00:24:17,819before they’re told a reality.47800:24:17,819 –> 00:24:19,599So the right timing of saying,47900:24:19,599 –> 00:24:21,319I have come to a confession48000:24:21,319 –> 00:24:23,079and I have turned to Christ48100:24:23,079 –> 00:24:24,979might be good to allow a little bit of time48200:24:24,979 –> 00:24:26,439for that to be seen,48300:24:26,439 –> 00:24:27,859but then there will be a moment48400:24:27,859 –> 00:24:29,280where God will open a door48500:24:29,280 –> 00:24:31,400for that confession to be made.48600:24:31,439 –> 00:24:33,959And that may be powerfully blessed.48700:24:33,959 –> 00:24:35,900It may be that it’s a seed that’s planted48800:24:35,900 –> 00:24:37,579that grows up much later,48900:24:37,579 –> 00:24:41,719but real change can never be denied49000:24:41,719 –> 00:24:45,979because a person looking at that transformation49100:24:45,979 –> 00:24:49,119can say only God could have done this.49200:24:49,119 –> 00:24:50,760Thanks so much, Colin.49300:24:50,760 –> 00:24:52,319Well, I hope you’ve gained a lot49400:24:52,319 –> 00:24:53,880from listening to today’s message49500:24:53,880 –> 00:24:56,439and that you’ll join us again next time49600:24:56,439 –> 00:24:58,280as we continue the message49700:24:58,280 –> 00:25:00,76010 keys to effective parenting,49800:25:00,760 –> 00:25:02,020part of our series,49900:25:02,020 –> 00:25:04,520Unless the Lord Builds the House.50000:25:04,520 –> 00:25:07,040For Open the Bible and pastor Colin Smith,50100:25:07,040 –> 00:25:10,719I’m David Pick and I hope you’ll join us again next time.50200:25:15,719 –> 00:25:19,140If you belong to Christ, you have a testimony.50300:25:19,140 –> 00:25:22,140Find out how to open that up to your children50400:25:22,140 –> 00:25:24,640next time on Open the Bible.