1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:05,120 Well, a lot of people get nervous when the pastor announces that the subject for the day is marriage. 2 00:00:05,840 –> 00:00:10,960 And so let me begin by giving some words of reassurance as we come to the scriptures today. 3 00:00:11,600 –> 00:00:15,520 We get married for different reasons. That’s true. We also get nervous for different reasons. 4 00:00:16,160 –> 00:00:18,160 Some folks who are single 5 00:00:18,160 –> 00:00:20,260 Fear that they will be excluded 6 00:00:20,879 –> 00:00:25,760 And uh, if you’re living alone, uh, then I want to give you this reassurance today 7 00:00:26,240 –> 00:00:28,100 Let me give you this promise 8 00:00:28,100 –> 00:00:33,299 That there is something for you in the scripture today and will be every Sunday throughout family month 9 00:00:34,580 –> 00:00:36,980 For this reason, if you are a christian 10 00:00:37,860 –> 00:00:40,660 Your calling is to live out the gospel 11 00:00:42,020 –> 00:00:47,139 And marriage, family life is simply one place where some people are called to do that 12 00:00:48,340 –> 00:00:53,939 If you look at ephesians chapter 5 that’s just been read to us. Perhaps the best known passage in the bible about marriage 13 00:00:54,419 –> 00:00:57,000 You will see that it begins with a message for everybody 14 00:00:57,540 –> 00:01:01,380 verses 1 and 2 be imitators of god as dearly loved children 15 00:01:01,700 –> 00:01:06,580 And live a life of love just as christ love does that is for everybody 16 00:01:06,580 –> 00:01:08,419 That is god’s calling to you 17 00:01:08,419 –> 00:01:14,900 Whether you’re married single widowed divorced the will of god for you is the same to live a life 18 00:01:15,699 –> 00:01:19,620 Of love, so no one is excluded and you will find today and throughout this month 19 00:01:20,099 –> 00:01:23,300 That there are particular ways in which the themes that are being shared 20 00:01:23,699 –> 00:01:27,300 Speak directly into your life and your experience 21 00:01:28,419 –> 00:01:34,760 Some of us are nervous because we fear being excluded others of us are nervous because we fear being ashamed 22 00:01:36,180 –> 00:01:39,220 And if you feel that you have been a failure 23 00:01:39,940 –> 00:01:41,459 as a husband 24 00:01:41,459 –> 00:01:43,300 or as a wife 25 00:01:43,300 –> 00:01:47,300 Your first instinct may be to want to just run and to hide 26 00:01:48,099 –> 00:01:50,260 Well again, let me give you this promise 27 00:01:51,139 –> 00:01:55,860 The purpose of family life month is not to load you up with guilt 28 00:01:56,339 –> 00:02:01,059 Over your failures as a parent or your failures as a husband or a wife or whatever 29 00:02:01,540 –> 00:02:06,900 God’s purpose is never to load any person up with guilt, but always to bring us into hope 30 00:02:07,540 –> 00:02:08,740 and so 31 00:02:08,740 –> 00:02:10,740 God reaches out to all people 32 00:02:11,380 –> 00:02:13,639 In the gospel, nobody will be excluded 33 00:02:14,179 –> 00:02:19,139 And god brings hope to all people and no one will be excluded from that either 34 00:02:20,020 –> 00:02:20,979 Now with that introduction 35 00:02:20,979 –> 00:02:26,679 I want to offer a definition of marriage that I think will offer encourage both hope and humility 36 00:02:27,460 –> 00:02:29,619 It comes in two parts. Here’s the first 37 00:02:30,240 –> 00:02:32,979 Marriage is the union of two 38 00:02:33,699 –> 00:02:37,380 Sinners now that of course is the bit that encourages humility, right? 39 00:02:38,259 –> 00:02:44,500 It keeps us earthed to reality you can probably think of a more optimistic definition of marriage than this 40 00:02:44,500 –> 00:02:46,979 But you have to admit that this is true. It always will be true 41 00:02:46,979 –> 00:02:52,660 It’s true of every marriage that it is the union of two sinners and that is why there will never be 42 00:02:53,460 –> 00:02:55,460 a perfect marriage 43 00:02:56,419 –> 00:03:00,580 The best that you can hope for is marriage to another 44 00:03:01,520 –> 00:03:02,820 sinner 45 00:03:02,820 –> 00:03:07,380 Thankfully, however, this is not the full definition. So let’s add the second part 46 00:03:08,179 –> 00:03:10,419 Marriage is the union of two sinners 47 00:03:10,979 –> 00:03:15,300 In whom god’s grace is at work. That’s good news 48 00:03:16,179 –> 00:03:22,020 Ah, jesus said my father is working and I am working too the father is always at work 49 00:03:23,380 –> 00:03:28,919 And if you’re thinking at this moment, but wait a minute my husband is an unbeliever. My wife is an unbeliever 50 00:03:29,619 –> 00:03:31,619 so once were you 51 00:03:32,820 –> 00:03:38,259 You were dead in trespasses and sins and god made you alive in jesus christ 52 00:03:39,539 –> 00:03:43,860 The father is always at work and that is why there is hope for every marriage 53 00:03:46,240 –> 00:03:48,820 Marriage is the union of two sinners 54 00:03:49,539 –> 00:03:51,539 In whom god’s grace is at work 55 00:03:52,500 –> 00:03:55,779 So you’re not married to an angel don’t expect him or her to be 56 00:03:56,419 –> 00:03:59,460 But you’re not married to the devil either be thankful for that 57 00:04:00,580 –> 00:04:04,500 You are married to a sinner in whom god’s grace is at work 58 00:04:05,860 –> 00:04:07,860 So be realistic 59 00:04:08,580 –> 00:04:10,580 Because your marriage will never be perfect 60 00:04:11,539 –> 00:04:17,239 But be encouraged because your marriage is never hopeless 61 00:04:19,220 –> 00:04:21,220 Now the title today is 62 00:04:21,279 –> 00:04:26,820 Gospel shaped marriage and the reason for that is simply that the gospel is to shape every part of our lives 63 00:04:26,820 –> 00:04:28,820 And so obviously that includes marriage 64 00:04:29,619 –> 00:04:33,700 Paul says specifically that the relationship between christ and his church 65 00:04:34,260 –> 00:04:38,739 Is a kind of picture of god’s purpose for the husband and for the wife 66 00:04:39,299 –> 00:04:43,000 Now notice the order. He’s not saying thankfully 67 00:04:43,619 –> 00:04:46,839 Christ loves the church just like you husbands love your wives 68 00:04:47,859 –> 00:04:54,019 I mean if he said that we’d be in trouble because sometimes we husbands don’t love our wives as we ought we don’t do it 69 00:04:54,260 –> 00:04:55,859 very well 70 00:04:55,859 –> 00:04:58,500 But it’s the other way around he says look at the perfect model 71 00:04:58,579 –> 00:05:01,140 Which is how jesus christ loves the church? 72 00:05:01,459 –> 00:05:04,179 And that is the model for how you are to love your wife 73 00:05:04,579 –> 00:05:10,339 And christ is calling you wives to respond to your husbands as the church submits to christ 74 00:05:10,420 –> 00:05:14,339 So the union between christ and the church is really the model 75 00:05:14,899 –> 00:05:16,820 It is the template 76 00:05:16,820 –> 00:05:21,700 For the relationship between husband and wife. It’s the pattern on which we are to build 77 00:05:21,940 –> 00:05:26,339 It is the blueprint for marriage. So if you want to know how to relate to your wife 78 00:05:27,700 –> 00:05:32,820 Start thinking deeply about how christ loves the church and all the dimensions of that 79 00:05:34,179 –> 00:05:41,380 If you want to know how to respond to your husband start thinking deeply about the way in which the church responds to christ 80 00:05:42,339 –> 00:05:43,940 That’s the model 81 00:05:43,940 –> 00:05:50,179 God wants your marriage to be an expression of that union between christ and his church 82 00:05:51,380 –> 00:05:53,559 Now, that’s the picture that we’re given in the scriptures 83 00:05:55,299 –> 00:05:57,399 The question of course is what is this going to look like? 84 00:05:58,179 –> 00:06:01,779 How is this actually going to work out in practice? 85 00:06:02,739 –> 00:06:08,179 So what I want to do in our time today is to pick up on three pictures in ephesians chapter five 86 00:06:08,739 –> 00:06:12,100 And very simply to apply them to our lives 87 00:06:13,220 –> 00:06:16,660 The first picture and I hope you have your bible open at ephesians five 88 00:06:17,059 –> 00:06:20,760 You’ll see it there in verse eight, indeed. It runs right through from verse eight to 14 89 00:06:21,459 –> 00:06:23,459 It’s the picture of light 90 00:06:23,859 –> 00:06:26,899 You were once darkness verse eight 91 00:06:27,540 –> 00:06:29,059 but now 92 00:06:29,059 –> 00:06:33,700 You are light in the lord. This is a wonderful statement 93 00:06:34,339 –> 00:06:36,519 And paul is writing here to every christian 94 00:06:37,459 –> 00:06:43,459 And he says whatever your circumstance of life if you are indeed in jesus christ you are 95 00:06:44,100 –> 00:06:46,019 light 96 00:06:46,019 –> 00:06:49,059 Think of it this way. The moon has no light of its own 97 00:06:50,420 –> 00:06:54,019 But when the sun shines on the moon the moon reflects that light 98 00:06:54,739 –> 00:06:57,619 The sun gives light as it were to the moon 99 00:06:58,339 –> 00:07:04,100 So that we may indeed move in the light of the moon and we may receive light 100 00:07:04,260 –> 00:07:06,739 Even when the sun is hidden from us 101 00:07:07,940 –> 00:07:14,339 Now that’s the calling, of course of every christian believer christ’s light paul says has shined on you 102 00:07:15,459 –> 00:07:18,420 and because his light has shined on you your 103 00:07:18,980 –> 00:07:23,220 Life is to reflect that light so that when the light of christ is hidden 104 00:07:23,779 –> 00:07:28,899 From other people they may be able to see a reflection of that light in you because he’s shined on you 105 00:07:29,140 –> 00:07:31,220 You are light in the lord 106 00:07:33,220 –> 00:07:35,779 Now of course there are different kinds of light 107 00:07:37,619 –> 00:07:42,040 There is light that draws and there is light that repels 108 00:07:44,179 –> 00:07:48,420 Light can shine on a path in such a way that it draws you 109 00:07:48,500 –> 00:07:53,220 It makes you want to move forward in that direction. It’s a beautiful thing 110 00:07:55,059 –> 00:07:57,720 But light can also be used by a torturer 111 00:07:59,140 –> 00:08:00,820 in a way that 112 00:08:00,820 –> 00:08:02,260 shines 113 00:08:02,260 –> 00:08:04,899 into your eyes and repels you 114 00:08:05,700 –> 00:08:07,700 And fills you with fear 115 00:08:08,260 –> 00:08:10,260 And makes you want to withdraw 116 00:08:11,700 –> 00:08:17,299 Now think about this how does Jesus christ shine his light on you 117 00:08:19,299 –> 00:08:21,700 Of course Paul had a unique experience here 118 00:08:21,700 –> 00:08:24,899 Didn’t he I expect when he talks about the light of christ shining? 119 00:08:24,899 –> 00:08:29,880 He must have been thinking about his own unique experience on the damascus road when he was literally 120 00:08:30,640 –> 00:08:33,380 blinded by the light of christ’s glory 121 00:08:35,219 –> 00:08:37,719 Thank god that isn’t his normal way of operating 122 00:08:38,419 –> 00:08:40,419 You haven’t had that experience, right? 123 00:08:40,979 –> 00:08:43,239 And thank god for it. What has been your experience? 124 00:08:44,260 –> 00:08:47,140 your experience has been my experience has been 125 00:08:47,700 –> 00:08:51,299 That god shines his light gently on our path 126 00:08:52,419 –> 00:08:57,700 He does it in such a way that he does not show us all that is wrong with us at one time because that would be 127 00:08:58,080 –> 00:09:00,080 devastating to us 128 00:09:00,179 –> 00:09:02,659 He is gracious and gentle and patience 129 00:09:03,140 –> 00:09:09,619 God’s word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path 130 00:09:10,820 –> 00:09:14,179 God shines his light on you in such a way that it draws 131 00:09:14,799 –> 00:09:17,440 And in such a way that you may follow 132 00:09:20,059 –> 00:09:25,400 Now in the context of marriage you live in another person’s light 133 00:09:27,320 –> 00:09:34,280 your light surrounds the person god has placed next to you the question is what kind of light 134 00:09:35,320 –> 00:09:37,320 Are you shining? 135 00:09:37,719 –> 00:09:40,840 See in marriage you become known 136 00:09:41,400 –> 00:09:45,960 And that’s wonderful because we’re made in the image of god. We want to be known 137 00:09:46,580 –> 00:09:48,580 It’s also a bit scary 138 00:09:48,700 –> 00:09:53,159 Because we’re fallen, and we don’t want everything about us to be known 139 00:09:56,400 –> 00:10:02,780 You are exposed in marriage in another person’s light 140 00:10:06,020 –> 00:10:09,799 My wife knows me 141 00:10:10,880 –> 00:10:16,700 I’ll tell you I am thankful for the gentleness of her light 142 00:10:19,320 –> 00:10:21,359 And I want to ask this question 143 00:10:21,359 –> 00:10:24,359 What kind of light are you? 144 00:10:24,359 –> 00:10:27,239 To your wife to your husband 145 00:10:27,880 –> 00:10:32,000 If you’re not married, what kind of light are you 146 00:10:32,219 –> 00:10:34,780 to your colleagues at work 147 00:10:34,820 –> 00:10:39,140 What kind of light are you if you’re a parent to your children 148 00:10:41,260 –> 00:10:47,859 Nobody wants to live in a search light, right 149 00:10:48,859 –> 00:10:55,460 And frankly, that’s one reason why a lot of hiding goes on in marriage 150 00:10:55,460 –> 00:10:58,700 There is light that attracts 151 00:10:58,700 –> 00:11:02,280 And there is light that repels 152 00:11:02,280 –> 00:11:06,280 What kind of light are you? 153 00:11:06,919 –> 00:11:13,940 The kind of light that would draw him forward in openness 154 00:11:13,940 –> 00:11:17,799 or cause him to close up and shrink back 155 00:11:18,859 –> 00:11:23,539 The kind of light that draws her trust 156 00:11:23,539 –> 00:11:29,080 The kind of light that makes her shrivel up and close down 157 00:11:29,080 –> 00:11:32,460 All the difference in the world 158 00:11:33,460 –> 00:11:36,239 Thinking more broadly about family life 159 00:11:36,239 –> 00:11:39,320 Some of us have seen the light that repels 160 00:11:39,320 –> 00:11:42,000 We were brought up with a light that repels 161 00:11:42,000 –> 00:11:46,260 There was truth, there was Bible 162 00:11:46,260 –> 00:11:49,479 But there didn’t always seem to be much love 163 00:11:49,479 –> 00:11:53,700 Or patience, or grace 164 00:11:53,700 –> 00:11:55,440 And here is what has happened 165 00:11:55,440 –> 00:11:57,500 You’ve reacted to that 166 00:11:57,500 –> 00:11:59,780 And the problem now is that there really isn’t 167 00:11:59,780 –> 00:12:06,059 Much light or truth in your life or in your home at all 168 00:12:06,059 –> 00:12:08,719 You are not in the Word 169 00:12:08,719 –> 00:12:12,500 The Word is not in your marriage 170 00:12:12,500 –> 00:12:17,280 You are so scared of putting your children off 171 00:12:17,280 –> 00:12:19,859 That you don’t even pray with them 172 00:12:19,859 –> 00:12:24,780 It’s a reaction 173 00:12:24,780 –> 00:12:26,900 You saw the light of the torturer 174 00:12:26,900 –> 00:12:31,179 The light that made you want to shrink back 175 00:12:31,179 –> 00:12:34,140 And by reaction 176 00:12:34,140 –> 00:12:36,979 You closed yourself off from the light altogether 177 00:12:36,979 –> 00:12:38,659 As far as family life is concerned 178 00:12:38,659 –> 00:12:42,820 You know, remember Jesus said this 179 00:12:42,820 –> 00:12:46,960 If the light within you is darkness 180 00:12:46,960 –> 00:12:49,619 How great is the darkness 181 00:12:49,619 –> 00:12:51,719 He said it this way on another occasion 182 00:12:51,719 –> 00:12:54,739 He said, see to it that the light in you 183 00:12:54,859 –> 00:12:57,380 Does not become darkness 184 00:12:57,380 –> 00:13:00,739 Now, here’s the vision of Family Life Month 185 00:13:00,739 –> 00:13:02,380 If you want to try and grasp it in a nutshell 186 00:13:02,380 –> 00:13:03,700 It’s simply this 187 00:13:03,700 –> 00:13:05,580 That the light of Christ 188 00:13:05,580 –> 00:13:09,059 Will indeed shine in every home 189 00:13:09,059 –> 00:13:10,580 In every marriage 190 00:13:10,580 –> 00:13:12,380 In every family 191 00:13:12,380 –> 00:13:15,020 And in every life 192 00:13:15,020 –> 00:13:16,020 But that it should shine 193 00:13:16,020 –> 00:13:18,099 In a way that attracts 194 00:13:18,099 –> 00:13:20,780 Not in a way that repels 195 00:13:20,780 –> 00:13:24,500 We want to encourage you 196 00:13:24,820 –> 00:13:27,780 You were once darkness 197 00:13:27,780 –> 00:13:29,340 But now you are light in the Lord 198 00:13:29,340 –> 00:13:32,859 Will you follow through this week 199 00:13:32,859 –> 00:13:34,700 In talking 200 00:13:34,700 –> 00:13:35,700 As husbands and wives 201 00:13:35,700 –> 00:13:36,820 Talking with children 202 00:13:36,820 –> 00:13:41,780 About how the light of God’s truth 203 00:13:41,780 –> 00:13:44,140 Can penetrate marriage 204 00:13:44,140 –> 00:13:48,260 And penetrate family life 205 00:13:48,260 –> 00:13:51,099 And bring blessing to all 206 00:13:51,099 –> 00:13:52,020 Now that’s the first image 207 00:13:52,020 –> 00:13:53,340 It’s the image of light 208 00:13:54,020 –> 00:13:55,260 And here’s the second one 209 00:13:55,260 –> 00:13:57,059 And it’s the picture of water 210 00:13:57,059 –> 00:14:01,219 Look at verse 25 and 26 please 211 00:14:01,219 –> 00:14:03,020 Husbands, love your wives 212 00:14:03,020 –> 00:14:04,780 Just as Christ loved the Church 213 00:14:04,780 –> 00:14:07,260 And gave himself up for her 214 00:14:07,260 –> 00:14:09,619 Why? To make her holy 215 00:14:09,619 –> 00:14:11,820 Cleansing her by the washing 216 00:14:11,820 –> 00:14:13,299 With water 217 00:14:13,299 –> 00:14:16,979 Through the Word 218 00:14:16,979 –> 00:14:18,580 A Christian believer is someone 219 00:14:18,580 –> 00:14:22,500 Who has been washed in Jesus Christ 220 00:14:22,739 –> 00:14:24,059 At this time the Bible describes it 221 00:14:24,059 –> 00:14:25,659 We are really plunged into him 222 00:14:25,659 –> 00:14:27,640 You can think of it this way 223 00:14:27,640 –> 00:14:29,380 That Jesus Christ is the bath 224 00:14:29,380 –> 00:14:31,820 In which we are washed clean 225 00:14:31,820 –> 00:14:34,359 And all of this, of course, is beautifully pictured 226 00:14:34,359 –> 00:14:36,020 For every Christian in baptism 227 00:14:36,020 –> 00:14:38,580 Jesus Christ makes us clean 228 00:14:38,580 –> 00:14:40,299 But more than that 229 00:14:40,299 –> 00:14:41,580 Jesus Christ keeps us clean 230 00:14:41,580 –> 00:14:43,580 There is a sense in which 231 00:14:43,580 –> 00:14:47,340 A Christian believer remains in the bath 232 00:14:47,340 –> 00:14:49,460 All of your Christian life 233 00:14:49,460 –> 00:14:51,099 You are in Christ 234 00:14:51,659 –> 00:14:54,539 The church is always being washed 235 00:14:54,539 –> 00:14:56,580 Until it will finally be presented 236 00:14:56,580 –> 00:14:59,140 In the presence of God without fault 237 00:14:59,140 –> 00:15:01,419 And with great joy 238 00:15:01,419 –> 00:15:03,260 Paul takes up that picture 239 00:15:03,260 –> 00:15:04,340 And what he’s saying is this 240 00:15:04,340 –> 00:15:05,700 In the context of marriage 241 00:15:05,700 –> 00:15:09,659 Just as Christ cleanses the church 242 00:15:09,659 –> 00:15:11,799 So, you husbands 243 00:15:11,799 –> 00:15:15,059 Need to have a cleansing 244 00:15:15,059 –> 00:15:18,099 Sanctifying effect 245 00:15:18,099 –> 00:15:20,460 Upon your wives 246 00:15:20,840 –> 00:15:22,159 Cleansing her by the washing of water 247 00:15:22,159 –> 00:15:24,460 Through the word 248 00:15:25,440 –> 00:15:29,260 Now when you are married 249 00:15:29,260 –> 00:15:32,900 Two people become one 250 00:15:32,900 –> 00:15:35,159 Think of it this way 251 00:15:35,159 –> 00:15:38,619 Your life is the water 252 00:15:38,619 –> 00:15:41,059 In which your wife bathes 253 00:15:41,059 –> 00:15:45,520 Wives, your life is the water 254 00:15:45,520 –> 00:15:50,340 In which your husband bathes 255 00:15:50,479 –> 00:15:54,320 What’s in you, will wash off on him 256 00:15:54,320 –> 00:16:00,599 What’s in him will wash off on you 257 00:16:00,599 –> 00:16:02,900 That’s a very powerful picture 258 00:16:02,900 –> 00:16:07,000 The washing with water 259 00:16:07,000 –> 00:16:09,919 Now remember that just as there are different kinds of light 260 00:16:09,919 –> 00:16:13,260 There are different kinds of water 261 00:16:13,260 –> 00:16:15,179 I grew up in the city of Edinburgh 262 00:16:15,179 –> 00:16:16,960 On the East coast of Scotland 263 00:16:16,960 –> 00:16:18,020 As most of you know 264 00:16:18,020 –> 00:16:20,059 There are a few strips of beach there 265 00:16:20,320 –> 00:16:21,599 There is not much sun 266 00:16:21,599 –> 00:16:22,780 So it’s not a great deal of use 267 00:16:22,780 –> 00:16:27,799 Buried deep in the beach 268 00:16:27,799 –> 00:16:30,619 That was fairly close to our home 269 00:16:30,619 –> 00:16:34,320 There was a large sewer pipe 270 00:16:34,320 –> 00:16:36,000 That went under the beach 271 00:16:36,000 –> 00:16:38,739 And then several miles out into the water 272 00:16:38,739 –> 00:16:42,039 And discharged itself eventually at length into the North Sea 273 00:16:42,039 –> 00:16:46,799 I remember vividly, an occasion 274 00:16:46,799 –> 00:16:49,419 When the pipe broke 275 00:16:50,400 –> 00:16:53,460 I remember as a kid, being down there near the beach 276 00:16:53,460 –> 00:16:55,739 And seeing that the whole beach was fenced off 277 00:16:55,739 –> 00:16:58,460 And there were these signs put there in the sand 278 00:16:58,460 –> 00:17:01,760 That said, no swimming 279 00:17:01,760 –> 00:17:05,219 A more unnecessary sign I have to say 280 00:17:05,219 –> 00:17:06,439 There never was 281 00:17:06,439 –> 00:17:09,300 With a smell that was coming off the water 282 00:17:09,300 –> 00:17:11,979 I cannot imagine how anyone in their right mind 283 00:17:11,979 –> 00:17:13,060 Would even have thought 284 00:17:13,060 –> 00:17:16,099 Of the idea of swimming there 285 00:17:16,099 –> 00:17:17,780 Now listen, let me ask you this question 286 00:17:18,219 –> 00:17:21,579 To the men 287 00:17:21,579 –> 00:17:24,939 What kind of water are you 288 00:17:24,939 –> 00:17:29,439 For your wife to bathe in 289 00:17:29,439 –> 00:17:34,939 If she were to bathe in your waters for twenty years 290 00:17:34,939 –> 00:17:40,579 Would she come out strengthened and invigorated 291 00:17:40,579 –> 00:17:46,439 Or soiled and infected 292 00:17:46,599 –> 00:17:55,079 Guys, if you are looking for a motivation to give up pornography 293 00:17:55,079 –> 00:17:58,239 It’s right here right now 294 00:18:01,839 –> 00:18:06,900 And I say this today because it is evidently such a widespread issue among us 295 00:18:07,560 –> 00:18:15,380 You are the water in which your wife bathes 296 00:18:17,500 –> 00:18:19,959 No one wants to swim in dirty water 297 00:18:22,699 –> 00:18:25,319 Fill your life with that stuff and 298 00:18:27,400 –> 00:18:32,979 She will feel that she is the object of your lust rather than of your love 299 00:18:33,900 –> 00:18:38,939 Your life will be like dirty water and no one would want to swim there 300 00:18:43,920 –> 00:18:50,020 There’s a vicious circle that can strangle a marriage and how often it does 301 00:18:52,380 –> 00:18:54,119 It goes like this 302 00:18:54,119 –> 00:18:56,119 he says 303 00:18:56,439 –> 00:19:03,079 He says well there is impurity, but the reason is that there’s no intimacy 304 00:19:05,819 –> 00:19:13,020 She says well, there’s no intimacy but the reason is that there is impurity 305 00:19:16,099 –> 00:19:21,199 Now somewhere in the goodness of God that cycle has to be broken 306 00:19:23,040 –> 00:19:25,040 For the rebuilding of many marriages 307 00:19:26,640 –> 00:19:28,040 and 308 00:19:28,040 –> 00:19:30,040 Your commitment today 309 00:19:31,280 –> 00:19:33,280 Can begin that process 310 00:19:37,800 –> 00:19:43,400 Paul really nails this one in verse 3 look at that Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 3 311 00:19:43,400 –> 00:19:47,640 Do you see it there among you there must not even be a hint of 312 00:19:48,459 –> 00:19:49,959 sexual immorality 313 00:19:50,119 –> 00:19:54,099 Chapter 5 verse 3 there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality 314 00:19:54,479 –> 00:19:59,920 But I want you to notice what he says next in the next 3 words not even a hint of sexual immorality or 315 00:20:00,479 –> 00:20:01,959 of 316 00:20:01,959 –> 00:20:04,699 Greed very interesting connection 317 00:20:05,599 –> 00:20:08,160 or of greed I 318 00:20:11,300 –> 00:20:18,500 Want to pause there for a moment just in case some of the women are feeling smug as if only men were sinners 319 00:20:20,520 –> 00:20:22,520 You know women are sinners, too 320 00:20:27,119 –> 00:20:32,640 My wife has censored this message and approved it for congregational consumption for women and for men 321 00:20:34,119 –> 00:20:36,119 She always does by the way 322 00:20:38,680 –> 00:20:43,079 What kind of water are you for your husband to swim in 323 00:20:45,680 –> 00:20:47,560 Greed 324 00:20:47,560 –> 00:20:50,819 Which Paul puts right next to impurity and he does it for a reason 325 00:20:52,540 –> 00:20:54,880 Greed is another kind of lust 326 00:20:57,319 –> 00:21:02,359 Greed is an I want that is never satisfied. I 327 00:21:04,560 –> 00:21:06,020 Want the sink ripped out 328 00:21:06,020 –> 00:21:10,839 I want the new counter to look just like the one I saw in the magazine and then I want and then I want and 329 00:21:10,839 –> 00:21:13,459 Then I want you are the water in 330 00:21:14,180 –> 00:21:16,180 Which your husband bathes 331 00:21:17,760 –> 00:21:21,260 And what will be the effect on him of 332 00:21:22,579 –> 00:21:26,239 20 years of this I want lifestyle 333 00:21:27,439 –> 00:21:31,619 This is something that has to be said in our culture today. We believe 334 00:21:34,359 –> 00:21:37,099 You are the water in which your husband bathes 335 00:21:38,560 –> 00:21:39,880 and 336 00:21:39,880 –> 00:21:42,079 The Bible has a word for 337 00:21:42,439 –> 00:21:49,719 constant demands that never seem to be satisfied that could leave a man feeling that nothing he ever does is ever enough and 338 00:21:51,719 –> 00:21:54,300 That Bible word is greed 339 00:21:56,599 –> 00:22:01,760 Among you there must be not even a hint of any kind of impurity or 340 00:22:02,300 –> 00:22:06,760 Of greed now you see this is a classic his and hers 341 00:22:07,680 –> 00:22:09,400 verse 342 00:22:09,400 –> 00:22:15,719 The scripture cuts both ways it always does it always will there are two kinds of lust 343 00:22:17,319 –> 00:22:21,040 One is called impurity the other is called greed 344 00:22:22,319 –> 00:22:25,959 The one is as destructive to love as the other 345 00:22:29,959 –> 00:22:35,380 So the light on your path the water in which you swim 346 00:22:35,380 –> 00:22:39,660 Here’s the third thing the food that you eat 347 00:22:39,739 –> 00:22:42,939 Verse 29 husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies 348 00:22:43,439 –> 00:22:47,280 He who loves his wife profits himself after all no one ever hated his own body 349 00:22:47,280 –> 00:22:53,839 But feeds and cares our food just as Christ does the chulch so we’re back to the template again 350 00:22:53,839 –> 00:23:00,979 The template is that christ feeds and cares for the church, and this is to be the model for the relationship between husband and wife 351 00:23:02,180 –> 00:23:04,959 Christ feeds his people now just as the washing 352 00:23:05,640 –> 00:23:12,380 Is ours in christ is beautifully pictured in baptism, so the feeding that is ours in christ of course is beautifully pictured in communion 353 00:23:12,640 –> 00:23:20,680 Christ is the bread of life we feed on him by faith. He’s our food. He nourishes us to everlasting life 354 00:23:22,479 –> 00:23:29,880 But just as there are different kinds of light and different kinds of water. There are obviously different kinds of food and 355 00:23:31,000 –> 00:23:34,300 Your diet will affect your health, right 356 00:23:36,079 –> 00:23:40,579 I went to the doctor last month 357 00:23:41,459 –> 00:23:48,540 Nothing wrong with me feeling great hadn’t been for a long long time and so with a little encouragement 358 00:23:48,579 –> 00:23:50,579 I decided to go 359 00:23:51,500 –> 00:23:58,359 He did a blood test. I got a letter a few days later your cholesterol is too high 360 00:23:59,500 –> 00:24:01,500 Change your diet 361 00:24:02,500 –> 00:24:08,079 So no more Chicago beef sandwiches or chili cheese fries for me 362 00:24:11,900 –> 00:24:15,640 If you want to live well eat healthy 363 00:24:19,660 –> 00:24:23,280 What is true of the body is true for the soul and 364 00:24:24,060 –> 00:24:29,599 The Communion service reminds us that a healthy life is one that has fed on Jesus Christ by faith 365 00:24:29,599 –> 00:24:31,319 It’s sustained as nourished 366 00:24:31,319 –> 00:24:37,160 It’s strengthened by him and Paul says now you’re to love your wife husband as Christ loves the church 367 00:24:37,160 –> 00:24:42,760 And what that means is the way that you feed and care for your wife as Christ feeds and cares for his church 368 00:24:45,859 –> 00:24:47,859 So I ask you this question 369 00:24:49,579 –> 00:24:56,500 What would be the effect on a person of a 20 year diet of you 370 00:24:56,500 –> 00:25:02,680 Because that’s what marriage is. For many years 371 00:25:06,099 –> 00:25:08,839 What are you feeding your wife? 372 00:25:10,760 –> 00:25:13,500 What are you feeding your husband? 373 00:25:14,900 –> 00:25:19,560 Is it a diet of criticism or praise? 374 00:25:20,560 –> 00:25:25,219 Is it a diet of affection or indifference? 375 00:25:27,439 –> 00:25:32,479 Are you building up her confidence or are you pulling her down? 376 00:25:35,079 –> 00:25:40,500 Are you fostering his following after Christ or holding him back? 377 00:25:42,160 –> 00:25:46,000 Is the diet of your love nourishing her soul? 378 00:25:46,020 –> 00:25:50,859 Or is she living on the meager rations of your cold heart? 379 00:25:51,319 –> 00:25:56,819 What kind of light are you to live in? 380 00:25:58,900 –> 00:26:02,219 What kind of water are you to bathe in? 381 00:26:02,219 –> 00:26:07,560 What kind of food are you to live on? 382 00:26:10,099 –> 00:26:11,579 Now here’s the deal. 383 00:26:12,040 –> 00:26:16,099 If you are going to bring light to another person, 384 00:26:17,280 –> 00:26:20,780 you need Jesus Christ to be your light. 385 00:26:21,619 –> 00:26:25,160 It’s the only way you can do it 386 00:26:25,160 –> 00:26:28,719 because you don’t have light of your own. 387 00:26:28,719 –> 00:26:33,380 It will be His light in you that will bring light into your marriage. 388 00:26:35,119 –> 00:26:39,459 If you’re going to be like clean water for another person, 389 00:26:39,459 –> 00:26:42,920 you need Jesus Christ to wash you clean. 390 00:26:42,920 –> 00:26:45,719 There’s no other way. 391 00:26:46,479 –> 00:26:49,979 You’re not clean in and of yourself only as He washes you. 392 00:26:53,920 –> 00:26:57,540 If you are to bring strength and nourishment to another person, 393 00:26:57,540 –> 00:26:59,380 you need Jesus Christ to nourish you. 394 00:26:59,380 –> 00:27:04,520 How else in all the world are you going to do this over a lifetime? 395 00:27:04,520 –> 00:27:08,339 You need to live in His light. 396 00:27:08,339 –> 00:27:10,920 You need to wash in His water. 397 00:27:10,920 –> 00:27:12,819 You need to be nourished by his food. 398 00:27:13,040 –> 00:27:17,839 You need to be filled with Christ’s love so that you will have renewed and replenished 399 00:27:17,839 –> 00:27:21,680 love to give to another person. 400 00:27:21,680 –> 00:27:23,979 Which is precisely Paul’s point in verse 1. 401 00:27:23,979 –> 00:27:26,219 Live a life of love, how? 402 00:27:26,219 –> 00:27:27,619 Just as Christ loved us. 403 00:27:27,619 –> 00:27:28,739 You see? 404 00:27:28,739 –> 00:27:33,339 You take out the Christ loved us, and you have no idea as to how to live a life of love. 405 00:27:33,339 –> 00:27:37,160 The only way to do it is by receiving His love for you. 406 00:27:37,439 –> 00:27:42,599 Live a life of love just as Christ loved us. 407 00:27:42,599 –> 00:27:48,839 He is love, the source. 408 00:27:48,839 –> 00:27:57,760 That’s why we have taken the theme you see, unless the Lord builds the house, those who 409 00:27:57,760 –> 00:27:59,140 build it labour in vain. 410 00:27:59,140 –> 00:28:01,900 Unless the Lord builds the house. 411 00:28:01,900 –> 00:28:05,500 I guess right now their’e all over this sanctuary. 412 00:28:05,500 –> 00:28:10,260 There are husbands, and there are wives, and there are folks living alone who are saying 413 00:28:10,260 –> 00:28:15,040 I need the Lord to build my house. 414 00:28:15,040 –> 00:28:24,420 I need his light, I need his washing, and I need his food. 415 00:28:24,420 –> 00:28:29,640 And you know that is precisely what he is ready to give to you. 416 00:28:29,640 –> 00:28:30,459 Amen.