Let your foot be seldom in your neighbour’s house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.
Proverbs 25:17
Proverbs gives us two ways to guard our friendships:
First, by being considerate
The easiest way to kill a good friendship is to become demanding. Here is a person who becomes friends with his neighbour, but then he overdoes it! Eventually the neighbour has had enough.
Be considerate not only of your friend’s time but also of his or her mood. “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda” (Prov. 25:20).
Here we have a person who is insensitive to the feelings of others. It’s like taking off a garment on a cold day. It will have a chilling effect on the friendship. And more than that, it can produce an explosive reaction like vinegar on soda. Your singing can make your friend’s sorrow worse.
How wonderful then that our Lord Jesus Christ knows us completely. He knows what it is to have a heavy heart. He was once in a garden when his heart was sorrowful to the point of death. He is able to “sympathise with our weaknesses” (Heb. 4:15).
Second, by being discreet
Whoever covers an offence seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends (Prov. 17:9).
A close friend is someone who trusts you enough to open up his or her life to you. If you have been given that trust, you must honour it. Nothing kills a friendship more quickly than repeating to others what was trusted in private conversation to you.
How can you have good friends? Seek friends intentionally. Choose your friends wisely. Guard your friendships carefully.
Thank God for a friend who has been considerate of your needs or discreet with a trusted secret.
