100:00:00,000 –> 00:00:09,780You are married to a sinner in whom God’s grace is at work.200:00:09,780 –> 00:00:17,340Be realistic, because your marriage will never be perfect, but be encouraged because your300:00:17,480 –> 00:00:20,980marriage is never hopeless.400:00:21,000 –> 00:00:23,379Welcome to Open the Bible with Pastor Colin Smith.500:00:23,379 –> 00:00:24,379I’m David Pick.600:00:24,379 –> 00:00:26,639Glad you could be with us today.700:00:26,639 –> 00:00:28,219Those are important truths.800:00:28,219 –> 00:00:29,219Aren’t they, Colin?900:00:29,219 –> 00:00:35,000Because it doesn’t take long after you say, I do, to realize that not only am I not perfect,1000:00:35,000 –> 00:00:37,400neither is my spouse.1100:00:37,400 –> 00:00:41,799Hopefully that discovery is made before getting to the point of saying, I do, as well.1200:00:41,799 –> 00:00:42,799Yeah.1300:00:42,799 –> 00:00:48,900Every area of a Christian’s life is an area in which grace is needed and grace is present.1400:00:48,900 –> 00:00:51,220And that is true of a Christian marriage as well.1500:00:51,220 –> 00:00:53,619And we got to hold on to both of these things.1600:00:53,619 –> 00:00:54,619Grace is needed.1700:00:54,619 –> 00:00:55,619I have to show grace.1800:00:55,619 –> 00:00:57,139I have to receive grace.1900:00:57,139 –> 00:01:00,240And grace is present because Christ is present.2000:01:00,240 –> 00:01:05,300And so there’s both the need that we have—as those who were brought into this very, very2100:01:05,300 –> 00:01:09,940wonderful union and this gift of marriage and also the resource that we have, the hope2200:01:09,940 –> 00:01:10,980that we have.2300:01:11,099 –> 00:01:15,720The gospel just floods into marriage.2400:01:16,339 –> 00:01:21,260And I think it’s very significant that the union of a husband and a wife is related to2500:01:21,260 –> 00:01:26,220the union of Christ and his church because the one speaks into the other.2600:01:26,220 –> 00:01:28,779And where we see that we’ll see both our need and our hope.2700:01:28,779 –> 00:01:34,339So join us today, if you can, in Ephesians chapter five, as we begin the message,2800:01:34,339 –> 00:01:35,660Gospel-Shaped Marriage.2900:01:35,660 –> 00:01:36,660Here’s Colin.3000:01:36,660 –> 00:01:42,660If you are a Christian, your calling is to live out the Gospel3100:01:42,660 –> 00:01:48,860and marriage, family life, is simply one place where some people are called to do that.3200:01:48,860 –> 00:01:52,459If you look at Ephesians chapter five that’s just been read to us, perhaps the best known3300:01:52,459 –> 00:01:58,000passage in the Bible about marriage, you will see that it begins with the message for everybody,3400:01:58,000 –> 00:01:59,339verses one and two.3500:01:59,339 –> 00:02:04,940Be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ’s3600:02:04,940 –> 00:02:05,940love does.3700:02:06,019 –> 00:02:07,139The love is for everybody.3800:02:07,139 –> 00:02:12,380That is God’s calling to you, whether you’re married, single, widowed, divorced, the will3900:02:12,380 –> 00:02:16,779of God for you is the same, to live a life of love.4000:02:16,779 –> 00:02:20,820So, no one is excluded, and you will find today and throughout this month that there4100:02:20,820 –> 00:02:26,220are particular ways in which the themes that are being shared speak directly into your4200:02:26,220 –> 00:02:28,960life and your experience.4300:02:28,960 –> 00:02:33,660Some of us are nervous because we fear being excluded, others of us are notified because4400:02:33,660 –> 00:02:35,619we fear being ashamed.4500:02:35,619 –> 00:02:37,039Oops.4600:02:37,039 –> 00:02:44,979And if you feel that you have been a failure as a husband or as a wife, your first instinct4700:02:44,979 –> 00:02:47,779may be to want to just run and to hide.4800:02:47,779 –> 00:02:51,580Well, again, let me give you this promise.4900:02:51,580 –> 00:02:57,820The purpose of Family Life Month is not to load you up with guilt over your failures5000:02:57,820 –> 00:03:02,139as a parent or your failures as a husband or a wife or whatever.5100:03:02,139 –> 00:03:07,100God’s purpose is never to load any person up with guilt but always to bring us into5200:03:07,100 –> 00:03:08,240hope.5300:03:08,240 –> 00:03:12,779And so, God reaches out to all people in the Gospel.5400:03:12,779 –> 00:03:15,039Nobody will be excluded.5500:03:15,039 –> 00:03:20,520God brings hope to all people and no one will be excluded from that either.5600:03:20,520 –> 00:03:24,039Now with that introduction I want to offer a definition of marriage that I think will5700:03:24,039 –> 00:03:27,960encourage both hope and humility.5800:03:27,960 –> 00:03:29,399It comes in two parts.5900:03:29,399 –> 00:03:31,000Here’s the first.6000:03:31,119 –> 00:03:34,580Marriage is the union of two sinners.6100:03:34,580 –> 00:03:38,820Now that, of course, is the bit that encourages humility.6200:03:38,820 –> 00:03:40,940It keeps us earthed to reality.6300:03:40,940 –> 00:03:45,279You can probably think of a more optimistic definition of marriage than this but you have6400:03:45,279 –> 00:03:46,500to admit that this is true.6500:03:46,500 –> 00:03:47,520It always will be true.6600:03:47,520 –> 00:03:52,119It’s true of every marriage that it is the union of two sinners and that is why there6700:03:52,119 –> 00:03:56,880will never be a perfect marriage.6800:03:56,880 –> 00:04:01,919The best that you can hope for is marriage to another sinner.6900:04:01,919 –> 00:04:08,300Thankfully, however, this is not the full definition so let’s add the second parrot.7000:04:08,300 –> 00:04:15,059Marriage is the union of two sinners in whom God’s grace is at work.7100:04:15,059 –> 00:04:17,119That’s good news.7200:04:17,119 –> 00:04:20,959Jesus said, My father is working, and I am working too.7300:04:20,959 –> 00:04:23,980The father is always at work.7400:04:24,059 –> 00:04:26,179And if you’re thinking at this moment, but wait a minute.7500:04:26,179 –> 00:04:27,880My husband is an unbeliever.7600:04:27,880 –> 00:04:30,119My wife is an unbeliever.7700:04:30,119 –> 00:04:33,339So once were you.7800:04:33,339 –> 00:04:40,000You were dead in trespasses and sins and God made you alive in Jesus Christ.7900:04:40,000 –> 00:04:47,399The father is always at work and that is why there is hope for every marriage.8000:04:47,399 –> 00:04:53,119Marriage is the union of two sinners in whom God’s grace is at work.8100:04:53,119 –> 00:04:54,559So you’re not married to an angel.8200:04:54,559 –> 00:04:58,940Don’t expect him or her to be, but you’re not married to the devil either.8300:04:58,940 –> 00:05:01,119Be thankful for that.8400:05:01,119 –> 00:05:06,279You are married to a sinner in whom God’s grace is at work.8500:05:06,279 –> 00:05:12,200So be realistic because your marriage will never be perfect.8600:05:12,200 –> 00:05:19,720But be encouraged because your marriage is never hopeless.8700:05:19,820 –> 00:05:24,799The title today is Gospel-Shaped Marriage and the reason for that is simply that the8800:05:24,799 –> 00:05:29,880Gospel is to shape every part of our lives and so obviously that includes marriage.8900:05:29,880 –> 00:05:35,179Paul says specifically that the relationship between Christ and His church is a kind of9000:05:35,179 –> 00:05:39,679picture of God’s purpose for the husband and for the wife.9100:05:39,679 –> 00:05:41,579Now notice the order.9200:05:41,579 –> 00:05:47,779He’s not saying, thankfully, Christ loves the church just like you husbands love your wives.9300:05:48,320 –> 00:05:52,320I mean, if he said that, we’d be in trouble because sometimes we husbands don’t love our9400:05:52,320 –> 00:05:53,880wives as we ought.9500:05:53,880 –> 00:05:55,399We don’t do it very well.9600:05:55,399 –> 00:05:57,440But it’s the other way around.9700:05:57,440 –> 00:06:02,279He says look at the perfect model which is how Jesus Christ loves the church and that9800:06:02,279 –> 00:06:07,200is the model for how you are to love your wife and Christ is calling you wives to respond9900:06:07,200 –> 00:06:10,899to your husbands as the church submits to Christ.10000:06:10,899 –> 00:06:15,359So the union between Christ and the church is really the model.10100:06:15,359 –> 00:06:19,480It is the template for the relationship between husband and wife.10200:06:19,480 –> 00:06:22,459It’s the pattern on which we are to build.10300:06:22,459 –> 00:06:24,420It is the blueprint for marriage.10400:06:24,420 –> 00:06:30,440So if you want to know how to relate to your wife, start thinking deeply about how Christ10500:06:30,440 –> 00:06:34,640loves the church and all the dimensions of that.10600:06:34,640 –> 00:06:39,760If you want to know how to respond to your husband, start thinking deeply about the way10700:06:39,760 –> 00:06:42,399in which the church responds to Christ.10800:06:42,399 –> 00:06:44,320That’s the model.10900:06:44,320 –> 00:06:50,760God wants your marriage to be an expression of that union between Christ and His church.11000:06:51,720 –> 00:06:55,720Now that’s the picture that we’re given in the Scriptures.11100:06:55,720 –> 00:06:58,619The question, of course, is what is this going to look like?11200:06:58,619 –> 00:07:03,420How is this actually going to work out in practice?11300:07:03,420 –> 00:07:07,660So what I want to do in our time today is to pick up on three pictures in Ephesians11400:07:07,660 –> 00:07:13,760chapter five and very simply to apply them to our lives.11500:07:13,760 –> 00:07:17,619The first picture, and I hope you have your Bible open at Ephesians five.11600:07:17,619 –> 00:07:20,739You’ll see it there in verse eight, indeed it runs right through from verse eight to11700:07:20,739 –> 00:07:22,079fourteen.11800:07:22,079 –> 00:07:24,320It’s the picture of light.11900:07:24,320 –> 00:07:32,880You were once darkness, verse eight, but now you are light in the Lord.12000:07:32,880 –> 00:07:34,959This is a wonderful statement.12100:07:34,959 –> 00:07:40,160And Paul is writing here to every Christian and he says whatever your circumstance of12200:07:40,160 –> 00:07:45,500life, if you are indeed in Jesus Christ, you are light.12300:07:45,500 –> 00:07:52,679Think of it this way, the moon has no light of its own, but when the sun shines on the12400:07:52,679 –> 00:07:55,179moon, the moon reflects that light.12500:07:55,179 –> 00:08:02,079The sun gives light, as it were, to the moon, so that we may indeed move in the light of12600:08:02,079 –> 00:08:07,720the moon, and we may receive light even when the sun is hidden from us.12700:08:08,420 –> 00:08:11,359Now, that’s the calling, of course, of every Christian believer.12800:08:11,359 –> 00:08:19,220Christ’s light, Paul says, has shined on you, and because his light has shined on you, your12900:08:19,220 –> 00:08:25,299life is to reflect that light, so that, when the light of Christ is hidden from other people,13000:08:25,299 –> 00:08:29,640they may be able to see a reflection of that light in you, because he’s shined on you.13100:08:29,640 –> 00:08:32,320You are light in the Lord.13200:08:33,119 –> 00:08:37,000Now, of course, there are different kinds of light.13300:08:38,239 –> 00:08:44,500There is light that draws, and there is light that repels.13400:08:44,500 –> 00:08:51,400Light can shine on a path in such a way that it draws you, it makes you want to move forward13500:08:51,400 –> 00:08:52,679in that direction.13600:08:52,679 –> 00:08:55,619It’s a beautiful thing.13700:08:55,619 –> 00:08:59,679But light can also be used by a torturer,13800:08:59,679 –> 00:09:05,539in a way that shines into your eyes and repels you,13900:09:05,539 –> 00:09:11,179and fills you with fear and makes you want to withdraw.14000:09:11,179 –> 00:09:13,940Now, think about this.14100:09:13,940 –> 00:09:18,359How does Jesus Christ shine his light on you?14200:09:18,359 –> 00:09:22,359Of course, Paul had a unique experience here, didn’t he?14300:09:22,359 –> 00:09:26,400I expect when he talks about the light of Christ shining he must have been thinking14400:09:26,559 –> 00:09:29,280about his own unique experience on the Damascus Road14500:09:29,280 –> 00:09:35,099when he was literally blinded by the light of Christ’s glory.14600:09:35,099 –> 00:09:38,659Thank God that isn’t his normal way of operating.14700:09:38,659 –> 00:09:41,119You haven’t had that experience, right?14800:09:41,119 –> 00:09:42,280And thank God for it.14900:09:42,280 –> 00:09:44,400What has been your experience?15000:09:44,400 –> 00:09:47,400Your experience has been, my experience has been,15100:09:47,400 –> 00:09:52,859that God shines his light gently on our path.15200:09:52,859 –> 00:09:55,299He does it in such a way that he does not show us15300:09:55,299 –> 00:09:57,400all that is wrong with us at one time15400:09:57,400 –> 00:10:00,580because that would be devastating to us.15500:10:00,580 –> 00:10:03,500He is gracious and gentle and patience.15600:10:03,500 –> 00:10:07,619God’s Word is a lamp for our feet15700:10:07,619 –> 00:10:11,159and a light for our path.15800:10:11,159 –> 00:10:15,700God shines his light on you in such a way that it draws15900:10:15,700 –> 00:10:18,960and in such a way that you may follow.16000:10:18,960 –> 00:10:21,619You’re listening to Open The Bible with Pastor Colin Smith16100:10:21,700 –> 00:10:24,859and a message called gospel-shaped marriage.16200:10:24,859 –> 00:10:26,200It’s part of our new series,16300:10:26,200 –> 00:10:28,380Unless The Lord Builds The House.16400:10:28,380 –> 00:10:30,900And if you ever miss one of the messages in the series,16500:10:30,900 –> 00:10:34,179you can easily catch up or go back and listen again online16600:10:34,179 –> 00:10:38,340at our website openthebible.org.uk.16700:10:38,340 –> 00:10:41,219Open The Bible is able to remain on your radio16800:10:41,219 –> 00:10:42,500and on the internet16900:10:42,500 –> 00:10:46,039because we are supported financially by our listeners.17000:10:46,039 –> 00:10:48,539So if you already give to support the work,17100:10:48,539 –> 00:10:51,580thank you so much and may God bless you.17200:10:51,580 –> 00:10:54,179If you’ve considered supporting us in that way,17300:10:54,179 –> 00:10:56,340all this month we’d like to encourage you17400:10:56,340 –> 00:10:58,739by offering something in return,17500:10:58,739 –> 00:11:00,520by setting up a new direct debit17600:11:00,520 –> 00:11:04,179to open the bible of five pounds per month or more,17700:11:04,179 –> 00:11:07,739or a new one-off gift of 50 pounds or more.17800:11:07,739 –> 00:11:09,859In return, we’ll send you two copies17900:11:09,859 –> 00:11:12,719of Pastor Collin’s book, Christmas stories,18000:11:12,719 –> 00:11:15,700along with five exclusive Christmas cards18100:11:15,700 –> 00:11:18,940featuring the illustrations from the book.18200:11:18,940 –> 00:11:21,219Here’s Collin to talk about one of the characters18300:11:21,219 –> 00:11:24,099from Christmas stories, the angel Gabriel.18400:11:24,099 –> 00:11:27,500Here’s the story of Jesus viewed from heaven itself18500:11:27,500 –> 00:11:30,179and there’s a fascinating reference to the New Testament,18600:11:30,179 –> 00:11:33,500even angels long to look into these things.18700:11:33,500 –> 00:11:35,500So let’s take a look at the Christmas story18800:11:35,500 –> 00:11:38,940from the perspective of the angels who were witnesses to it.18900:11:38,940 –> 00:11:41,979Course they knew Christ in His glory before He came,19000:11:41,979 –> 00:11:44,340what an astonishing thing it must have been for them19100:11:44,340 –> 00:11:45,640to see Him born as a baby.19200:11:45,640 –> 00:11:47,500So that’s our free gift to you19300:11:47,500 –> 00:11:49,700of two copies of Christmas stories,19400:11:49,700 –> 00:11:51,900along with five Christmas cards.19500:11:51,900 –> 00:11:53,739If you are able to begin to support19600:11:53,739 –> 00:11:56,760open the Bible financially this month.19700:11:56,760 –> 00:11:59,400Full terms and conditions are on our website,19800:11:59,400 –> 00:12:02,500OpenTheBible.org.uk19900:12:02,500 –> 00:12:05,679And you can give online on the website.20000:12:05,679 –> 00:12:09,380Don’t forget though, to include your full name and address,20100:12:09,380 –> 00:12:11,340don’t give anonymously so that20200:12:11,340 –> 00:12:13,679we can send you your free gift.20300:12:13,679 –> 00:12:14,940Back to the message now.20400:12:14,940 –> 00:12:16,979Here again is Colin.20500:12:16,979 –> 00:12:18,979Now in the context of marriage,20600:12:18,979 –> 00:12:22,640you live in another person’s light.20700:12:24,140 –> 00:12:29,140Your light surrounds the person God has placed next to you.20800:12:29,479 –> 00:12:33,280The question is what kind of light are you shining?20900:12:34,659 –> 00:12:38,580See, in marriage, you become known.21000:12:39,679 –> 00:12:42,020And that’s wonderful because we’re made in the image of God.21100:12:42,020 –> 00:12:43,859We want to be known.21200:12:43,859 –> 00:12:47,020It’s also a bit scary because we’re fallen21300:12:47,020 –> 00:12:50,419and we don’t want everything about us to be known.21400:12:53,460 –> 00:12:57,700You are exposed in marriage21500:12:57,700 –> 00:13:00,200in another person’s light.21600:13:03,059 –> 00:13:06,979My wife knows me.21700:13:08,239 –> 00:13:10,679I’ll tell you, I am thankful21800:13:10,679 –> 00:13:13,840for the gentleness of her light.21900:13:14,859 –> 00:13:17,320And I wanna ask this question.22000:13:17,320 –> 00:13:21,840What kind of light are you to your wife,22100:13:21,840 –> 00:13:24,760to your husband, if you’re not married?22200:13:24,760 –> 00:13:29,760What kind of light are you to your colleagues at work?22300:13:30,640 –> 00:13:32,440What kind of light are you22400:13:32,440 –> 00:13:34,559if you’re a parent to your children?22500:13:38,280 –> 00:13:41,760Nobody wants to live in a searchlight.22600:13:44,320 –> 00:13:47,140Right?22700:13:47,140 –> 00:13:48,799And frankly, that’s one reason22800:13:48,799 –> 00:13:51,580why a lot of hiding goes on in marriage.22900:13:53,440 –> 00:13:55,380There is light that attracts23000:13:56,260 –> 00:13:58,679and there is light that repels.23100:14:00,559 –> 00:14:02,000What kind of light are you?23200:14:04,820 –> 00:14:09,820The kind of light that would draw him forward in openness23300:14:10,599 –> 00:14:14,159or cause him to close up and shrink back?23400:14:16,159 –> 00:14:19,219The kind of light that draws her trust?23500:14:20,960 –> 00:14:23,659The kind of light that makes her shrivel up23600:14:23,659 –> 00:14:24,580and close down?23700:14:27,080 –> 00:14:28,700All the difference in the world.23800:14:30,840 –> 00:14:33,119Now thinking more broadly about family life23900:14:33,119 –> 00:14:36,340some of us have seen the light that repels.24000:14:36,340 –> 00:14:38,940We were brought up with a light that repels.24100:14:38,940 –> 00:14:42,400There was truth, there was Bible.24200:14:43,299 –> 00:14:46,580But there didn’t always seem to be much love24300:14:46,580 –> 00:14:49,419or patience or grace24400:14:50,580 –> 00:14:52,080and here is what has happened.24500:14:52,080 –> 00:14:55,080You’ve reacted to that and the problem24600:14:55,080 –> 00:14:57,500now is that there really isn’t much light24700:14:57,500 –> 00:15:01,700or truth in your life or in your home at all.24800:15:02,880 –> 00:15:07,679You are not in the word, the word is not in your marriage.24900:15:09,219 –> 00:15:13,700You are so scared of putting your children off25000:15:13,700 –> 00:15:15,460that you don’t even pray with them.25100:15:16,599 –> 00:15:17,960It’s a reaction.25200:15:21,179 –> 00:15:23,739You saw the light of the torturer,25300:15:23,739 –> 00:15:26,020the lights that made you want to shrink back25400:15:27,799 –> 00:15:31,900and by reaction you closed yourself off25500:15:31,900 –> 00:15:33,820from the light altogether25600:15:33,820 –> 00:15:35,799as far as family life is concerned.25700:15:35,979 –> 00:15:37,859Now remember Jesus said this,25800:15:37,859 –> 00:15:42,200if the light within you is darkness,25900:15:42,200 –> 00:15:43,719how great is the darkness?26000:15:44,739 –> 00:15:47,000He said it this way on another occasion,26100:15:47,000 –> 00:15:50,059he said, see to it that the light in you26200:15:50,059 –> 00:15:52,260does not become darkness.26300:15:53,979 –> 00:15:56,280Now here’s the vision of family life month,26400:15:56,280 –> 00:15:57,940if you want to try and grasp it in a nutshell,26500:15:57,940 –> 00:15:59,239it’s simply this,26600:15:59,239 –> 00:16:02,340that the light of Christ will indeed shine26700:16:03,200 –> 00:16:05,840in every home, in every marriage,26800:16:05,840 –> 00:16:08,479in every family and in every life.26900:16:08,479 –> 00:16:13,380But that it should shine in a way that attracts27000:16:13,380 –> 00:16:16,679not in a way that repels.27100:16:16,679 –> 00:16:19,940We want to encourage you,27200:16:19,940 –> 00:16:23,039you are once darkness.27300:16:23,039 –> 00:16:26,219But now you are light in the Lord.27400:16:26,219 –> 00:16:28,380Will you follow through this week27500:16:28,380 –> 00:16:31,799in talking as husbands and wives27600:16:32,599 –> 00:16:35,320talking with children about how the light27700:16:35,320 –> 00:16:40,320of God’s truth can penetrate marriage27800:16:40,919 –> 00:16:45,919and penetrate family life and bring blessing to all?27900:16:47,900 –> 00:16:50,179Now that’s the first image, it’s the image of light.28000:16:50,179 –> 00:16:53,179Here’s the second one and it’s the picture of water.28100:16:53,179 –> 00:16:57,080Look at verse 25 and 26 please.28200:16:57,080 –> 00:17:01,200Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church28300:17:01,219 –> 00:17:04,160and gave himself up for her, why?28400:17:04,160 –> 00:17:07,939To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing28500:17:07,939 –> 00:17:11,560with water through the word.28600:17:13,219 –> 00:17:16,459A Christian believer is someone who has been washed28700:17:16,459 –> 00:17:18,819in Jesus Christ.28800:17:18,819 –> 00:17:20,260In fact the way the Bible describes it,28900:17:20,260 –> 00:17:22,060we are really plunged into him.29000:17:22,060 –> 00:17:24,579You can think of it this way, that Jesus Christ29100:17:24,579 –> 00:17:28,339is the bath in which we are washed clean29200:17:28,339 –> 00:17:30,300and all of this of course is beautifully pictured29300:17:30,300 –> 00:17:32,959for every Christian in baptism.29400:17:32,959 –> 00:17:35,500Jesus Christ makes us clean29500:17:35,500 –> 00:17:38,339but more than that, Jesus Christ keeps us clean,29600:17:38,339 –> 00:17:41,560there is a sense in which a Christian believer29700:17:41,560 –> 00:17:46,020remains in the bath all of your Christian life.29800:17:46,020 –> 00:17:49,260You are in Christ and always being washed,29900:17:49,260 –> 00:17:51,319the church is always being washed30000:17:51,319 –> 00:17:53,719until it will finally be presented30100:17:53,719 –> 00:17:58,380in the presence of God, without fault and with great joy.30200:17:58,380 –> 00:17:59,859Now Paul takes up that picture30300:17:59,859 –> 00:18:00,900and what he’s saying is this.30400:18:00,900 –> 00:18:02,900In the context of marriage,30500:18:02,900 –> 00:18:06,140just as Christ cleanses the church,30600:18:07,119 –> 00:18:11,619so you husbands need to have a cleansing,30700:18:11,619 –> 00:18:13,699sanctifying30800:18:13,699 –> 00:18:16,859effect upon your wives,30900:18:16,859 –> 00:18:20,859cleansing her by the washing of water through the word.31000:18:22,140 –> 00:18:25,000Now when you are married,31100:18:25,880 –> 00:18:27,880two people become one.31200:18:28,880 –> 00:18:30,859Think of it this way.31300:18:30,859 –> 00:18:34,859Your life is the water31400:18:34,859 –> 00:18:37,800in which your wife bathes.31500:18:38,719 –> 00:18:41,819Wives, your life is the water31600:18:41,819 –> 00:18:44,839in which your husband bathes.31700:18:46,699 –> 00:18:50,680What’s in you will wash off on him.31800:18:50,680 –> 00:18:52,859What’s in him31900:18:52,859 –> 00:18:55,819will wash off on you.32000:18:56,540 –> 00:18:59,439This is a very powerful picture,32100:18:59,439 –> 00:19:01,479the washing with water.32200:19:03,339 –> 00:19:05,040Now, remember that just as there are different32300:19:05,040 –> 00:19:07,680kinds of light, there are different kinds of water.32400:19:09,619 –> 00:19:11,439I grew up in the city of Edinburgh32500:19:11,439 –> 00:19:13,079on the east coast of Scotland.32600:19:13,079 –> 00:19:15,199As most of you know, there are a few strips32700:19:15,199 –> 00:19:17,760of beach there, but not much sun32800:19:17,760 –> 00:19:20,280and so it’s not a great deal of use.32900:19:21,160 –> 00:19:24,180Buried deep in the beach33000:19:24,180 –> 00:19:26,020that was fairly close to our home,33100:19:27,060 –> 00:19:30,699there was a large sewer pipe33200:19:30,699 –> 00:19:32,300that went under the beach33300:19:32,300 –> 00:19:34,859and then several miles out into the water33400:19:34,859 –> 00:19:37,119and discharged itself eventually33500:19:37,119 –> 00:19:39,880at length into the North Sea.33600:19:40,760 –> 00:19:43,180I remember vividly an occasion33700:19:43,180 –> 00:19:47,719when the pipe broke fairly near to the shore.33800:19:47,719 –> 00:19:50,219I remember as a kid, being down there near the beach33900:19:50,219 –> 00:19:53,020and seeing that the whole beach was fenced off34000:19:53,420 –> 00:19:55,900and there were these signs put there in the sand34100:19:55,900 –> 00:19:58,780that said, no swimming34200:19:58,780 –> 00:20:02,060I mean, a more unnecessary sign I have to say34300:20:02,060 –> 00:20:06,300there never was with a smell that was coming off the water.34400:20:06,300 –> 00:20:08,900I cannot imagine how anyone in their right mind34500:20:08,900 –> 00:20:12,979would even have thought of the idea of swimming there.34600:20:12,979 –> 00:20:15,079Now, listen, let me ask you this question.34700:20:16,119 –> 00:20:21,119To the men, what kind of water are you34800:20:21,920 –> 00:20:24,280for your wife to bathe in?34900:20:26,439 –> 00:20:30,599If she were to bathe in your waters for 20 years35000:20:31,939 –> 00:20:36,020would she come out strengthened and invigorated35100:20:37,500 –> 00:20:39,800or soiled and infected?35200:20:43,599 –> 00:20:48,599So the light on your path, the water in which you swim35300:20:48,900 –> 00:20:50,900and the light in which you swim.35400:20:52,760 –> 00:20:54,359Here’s the third thing.35500:20:54,359 –> 00:20:55,619The food that you eat.35600:20:55,619 –> 00:20:58,180Verse 29, husbands are to love their wives35700:20:58,180 –> 00:20:59,359as their own bodies.35800:20:59,359 –> 00:21:01,599He who loves his wife loves himself.35900:21:01,599 –> 00:21:03,079After all, no one ever hated his own body36000:21:03,079 –> 00:21:08,079but feeds and cares for it just as Christ does the church.36100:21:08,400 –> 00:21:09,560So we’re back to the template again.36200:21:09,560 –> 00:21:12,880The template is that Christ feeds and cares for the church36300:21:12,880 –> 00:21:15,900and this is to be the model for the relationship36400:21:15,900 –> 00:21:18,060between husband and wife.36500:21:18,060 –> 00:21:20,000The washing that is ours in Christ36600:21:20,000 –> 00:21:21,880is beautifully pictured in baptism36700:21:21,880 –> 00:21:24,239so the feeding that is ours in Christ of course36800:21:24,239 –> 00:21:26,180is beautifully pictured in Communion.36900:21:26,180 –> 00:21:28,760Christ is the bread of life.37000:21:28,760 –> 00:21:31,099We feed on him by faith, he’s our food,37100:21:31,099 –> 00:21:34,020he nourishes us to everlasting life.37200:21:36,380 –> 00:21:39,300But just as there are different kinds of light37300:21:39,300 –> 00:21:40,699and different kinds of water,37400:21:40,699 –> 00:21:44,660there are obviously different kinds of food37500:21:44,660 –> 00:21:47,859and your diet will affect your health, right?37600:21:47,900 –> 00:21:48,739All right?37700:21:50,420 –> 00:21:51,260Confession.37800:21:52,719 –> 00:21:55,060I went to the doctor last month.37900:21:55,060 –> 00:21:57,219Nothing wrong with me, feelings great.38000:21:57,219 –> 00:21:59,500Hadn’t been for a long, long time38100:21:59,500 –> 00:22:04,500and so with a little encouragement I decided to go.38200:22:05,260 –> 00:22:07,579He did a blood test, I got a letter,38300:22:07,579 –> 00:22:12,579a few days later, your cholesterol is too high.38400:22:13,079 –> 00:22:14,400Change your diet.38500:22:14,920 –> 00:22:19,060So no more Chicago beef sandwiches38600:22:19,060 –> 00:22:22,619or chili cheese fries for me.38700:22:22,619 –> 00:22:27,619If you want to live well, eat healthy.38800:22:30,520 –> 00:22:35,520What is true of the body is true for the soul38900:22:37,160 –> 00:22:39,619and the communion service reminds us39000:22:39,619 –> 00:22:42,560that a healthy life is one that is fed on Jesus Christ39100:22:42,560 –> 00:22:44,859by faith, it’s sustained, it’s nourished,39200:22:44,859 –> 00:22:47,040it’s strengthened by him and Paul says,39300:22:47,040 –> 00:22:49,280now you’re to love your wife-husband39400:22:49,280 –> 00:22:51,000as Christ loves the church and what that means39500:22:51,000 –> 00:22:53,959is the way that you feed and care for your wife39600:22:53,959 –> 00:22:56,479as Christ feeds and cares for his church.39700:22:59,560 –> 00:23:01,079So I ask you this question.39800:23:03,239 –> 00:23:06,339What would be the effect on a person39900:23:06,339 –> 00:23:10,599of a 20-year diet of you?40000:23:10,619 –> 00:23:13,680A powerful message there from Colin in our message,40100:23:13,680 –> 00:23:15,619Gospel Shaped Marriage.40200:23:15,619 –> 00:23:19,219Part of the series Unless the Lord Builds the House40300:23:19,219 –> 00:23:21,000and if you ever miss any of the series40400:23:21,000 –> 00:23:22,680don’t forget you can easily catch up40500:23:22,680 –> 00:23:23,920or go back and listen again40600:23:23,920 –> 00:23:26,199by coming online to our website,40700:23:26,199 –> 00:23:29,479openthebible.org.uk.40800:23:29,479 –> 00:23:30,900Colin, that image of light40900:23:30,900 –> 00:23:33,319attracting and repelling is powerful41000:23:33,319 –> 00:23:35,239so what would you say to the person41100:23:35,239 –> 00:23:37,280who sees that they might have been41200:23:37,339 –> 00:23:39,439a repelling light to their spouse,41300:23:39,439 –> 00:23:40,660maybe for years?41400:23:40,660 –> 00:23:43,040Yeah and that is so easy,41500:23:43,040 –> 00:23:44,239is the first thing to say41600:23:44,239 –> 00:23:45,979to be the kind of person41700:23:45,979 –> 00:23:47,800that becomes critical,41800:23:47,800 –> 00:23:49,839picks up on everything,41900:23:49,839 –> 00:23:51,219oh you didn’t do this right,42000:23:51,219 –> 00:23:53,599you know, and and it’s crushing,42100:23:53,599 –> 00:23:57,359it’s killing to love within a marriage42200:23:57,359 –> 00:23:59,280and the principle here42300:23:59,280 –> 00:24:01,599is to try to treat the other person42400:24:01,599 –> 00:24:05,079in the same way as Jesus Christ has treated you.42500:24:05,079 –> 00:24:07,300So think about how the Lord Jesus Christ42600:24:07,300 –> 00:24:08,180has treated you,42700:24:08,180 –> 00:24:10,780he’s not picked you up on everything42800:24:10,780 –> 00:24:11,900that is wrong in your life,42900:24:11,900 –> 00:24:14,160he takes us slowly,43000:24:14,160 –> 00:24:16,619he is immensely patient,43100:24:16,619 –> 00:24:19,880he overlooks so many things43200:24:19,880 –> 00:24:21,680and that grace and kindness43300:24:21,680 –> 00:24:23,260of the Lord Jesus Christ,43400:24:23,260 –> 00:24:25,780his gentle light that works with us43500:24:25,780 –> 00:24:27,439patiently over time.43600:24:27,439 –> 00:24:29,900Boy that’s what you’ve experienced,43700:24:29,900 –> 00:24:31,699that’s what I’ve experienced43800:24:31,699 –> 00:24:33,300that’s what you wanna be able to show43900:24:34,060 –> 00:24:35,420to the person God has placed close to you.44000:24:35,420 –> 00:24:37,219That’s a fantastic challenge,44100:24:37,219 –> 00:24:40,119we do appreciate that Colin.44200:24:40,119 –> 00:24:42,160You’ve been listening to Pastor Colin Smith44300:24:42,160 –> 00:24:43,420on Open the Bible44400:24:43,420 –> 00:24:44,579in the message called,44500:24:44,579 –> 00:24:46,459Gospel Shaped Marriage.44600:24:46,459 –> 00:24:47,579It’s part of this series44700:24:47,579 –> 00:24:49,300unless the Lord build a house44800:24:49,300 –> 00:24:50,420and we’ll be continuing44900:24:50,420 –> 00:24:53,219with the series in tomorrow’s broadcast.45000:24:53,219 –> 00:24:54,959Lots more information online45100:24:54,959 –> 00:24:59,400at our website openthebible.org.UK.45200:24:59,400 –> 00:25:01,260Now for pastor Colin Smith45300:25:01,260 –> 00:25:02,339and Open the Bible,45400:25:02,339 –> 00:25:03,699I’m David Pick.45500:25:03,699 –> 00:25:06,239Join us again tomorrow for Open the Bible.45600:25:12,040 –> 00:25:15,260Are you asking that the Lord build your house?45700:25:15,260 –> 00:25:18,040Find out why you might need to do that45800:25:18,040 –> 00:25:19,760next time on Open the Bible.